Sacrifices and Saviors
by babygurl0506
Summary: Chapter 32 "To Hell...And Back" "Nameless, Faceless"/ FOYET CHAPTER is up! He pulled her close and pressed his lips to her ear, "Just think about it, Emily." Her eyes stayed shut as her mouth opened slightly, her hot breath dancing across his neck, "Okay." Hotch and Emily. Begins with 3x02.
1. 3x02 In Name and Blood

**A/N: I have so much to say about this one. It came out of nowhere, and was really inspired by some random weird text conversation with my bestie Patty. Text: "Sexxy schmexxy Paget + uber hot Thomas Gibson = a mouthwatering fic." - THAT inspired THIS; which is also the LONGEST one-shot I've ever written coming in at 4,013 WORDS!**

**I'd like to give a special shout out to x-mj-x who has become a really good sounding board for me, and who's lovely reviews on my two "Lauren"-based fics have really encouraged me to write and post this too. So you should go check out her work, if you haven't already, because she's amazing. **

**PLEASE read and review, I would love to know what you all think.**

**ALSO- this is M rated, for a reason; continue at your own discretion, thanks.**

**Disclaimer: I own the DVDs... but sadly, CM does not belong to me.**

**Spoilers for: 3x02 "In Birth and Death".**

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><p>Everyone was asleep.<p>

The muted roar of the jet's engine slightly muffled by the thick windows of the plane and the soft snores emanating from various team members. His darkened eyes moved around the cabin, taking in his team, while the metaphorical wheels in his head turned. He couldn't stop thinking about it, the circumstances that had lead his team to this moment. His eyes fell on the solitary figure hidden away in the front of the plane; ignored by the rest of the occupants, and he felt his features tighten. Erin Strauss had tried to take his career, his team, his second family away from him; and she'd failed tremendously. She'd underestimated the strength that each of his cohorts had within them, the lengths they'd go to to ensure that they stayed together. Penelope sneaking him the file, Emily threatening to resign, Derek keeping him informed; they each had stuck their necks out and the end result had been exactly what they'd all hoped for.

They were still together.

His eyes darted to JJ and Reid, across from each other at the table, heads leaned into the windows, eyes shut in peaceful slumber; then skimmed over to Derek, asleep with his headset on. His eyes narrowed as he realized one of them was missing. He slid from his position in the leather captain's chair and walked silently down the length of the plane towards the gallery. He heard her soft, shaky breaths from behind the curtain, and paused; wondering briefly if he should bother her in this private moment. His adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed his emotions for a moment and stepped into the room.

Her back faced him as he moved the curtain back into place, effectively shielding them from any potential prying eyes and continuing to guard her own vulnerable moment. He stayed silent, and moved his back and hips to lean against the counter in the room, his arms crossing over his chest as he bowed his head and shut his eyes. She never hesitated to throw herself into the line of danger; he'd appreciated that aspect of her as an agent since she'd come on his team. It was also the aspect that terrified him most. Seeing her only a few hours earlier sitting on the back end of that ambulance, blood dripping from the spot on her forehead where she'd been hit with a two by four, was one of several reality checks he'd gotten in the past couple days. She'd very nearly given her career up to protect him, and then nearly gave her life to bring the case to a close; and he couldn't help wondering why she insisted on doing so.

He'd accepted it years ago, the fact that there was some unspoken sexual attraction with her. He'd known it the moment he'd seen her photo while working for her mother, and had felt it only heighten upon first meeting her while she was home on break form Brown. After she'd left, and he'd gone on to marry Haley, she'd been nothing but a memory to him, a sort of pipe dream of what-if's and if- only's, but when he'd seen the woman she'd grown up to be, the new agent that would be joining his team, he'd felt the tickle of that attraction return. Married or not, he was a man first and foremost, and any man could appreciate who she was; smart, intelligent, caring, fearless, and yet vulnerable, warm and soft. His marriage was in shambles now, he'd accepted that even before the fight with Haley over his going to Milwaukee; and her suspicious behavior only confirmed what he'd come to terms with. So that left him where? Stuck in marital limbo with a woman who didn't understand his career, and attracted to a woman who'd come close to sacrificing her career for his? Emily'd made it more than apparent that she would go above and beyond for him, and now that he'd reconciled himself to that fact, he was only left to ponder where she was with all this.

She wasn't quite sure, why she was crying. No one compartmentalized better than she could and this whole case hadn't even been the worst of what she'd seen, nor were her slight concussion and splitting headache anything serious; so the question continued to plague her, _WHY_ was she crying? She wiped her eyes and took a slow, deep, shallow breath to calm herself and refocus her energies. She knew he was in the room with her, she'd smelt that distinct mix of coffee, musk, and something unique only to him as soon as he had entered. She wiped her eyes and turned around to him, eyeing him through lowered lashes and blinked against the fresh onslaught of tears that threatened to break her. She'd been brought on to ruin him, to be a political pawn for Strauss, and to damage the career he'd worked so hard to build; and yet, when the chips were down, he'd come to her and asked her to come with him. He'd taken the leap of faith and brought her back, saved her career just as much as she saved his. She licked her lips and sighed, opening her mouth to speak and then shutting it when no coherent sentences formed in her mind.

She dropped her head, eyes focusing on her nails as she began to pick at them in nervous anxiousness. He was just staring at her, unspeaking, un moving, and she was hesitant to ask what was on his mind. She took a deep breath and lifted her head to meet his eyes with hers and shrugged before speaking with a soft, broken tone, "Helluva a week, huh?"

She laughed awkwardly and smiled as the corners of hip lips turned upward, while he remained a safe distance away. She took a few steps and leaned across from him, their feet nearly touching as she mirrored his pose and tilted her head, "What's on your mind, Hotch?"

He searched her face with his chocolate gaze and realized that nothing, no one was more important than this moment. He let his gaze travel across the expanse of her features for a moment before shaking his head and fixing his lips in a thin line, "You." He nodded towards her and cleared his throat, hoping to bring back a bit of the professionalism that he was rapidly losing grip on, "How's your head?"

She smirked and tilted her head, "Feels like I got hit with a piece of wood." Her knowing eyes sought his out and they stood silent for a moment, engaged in a battle of wills before she let one arm drop, and gave a soft chuckle, "I'm fine, Hotch, really. Nothing a little aspirin and rest won't fix." She nudged the toe of his boot with hers and gave him a concerned frown, "Now, what's really on your mind?"

He dropped his head and studied his feet, shifting his balance a little and making himself more comfortable against the hard surface pressing into his back. His eyes lifted slightly and he sighed, resigning himself to having this talk right now. "You. This. Everything that's happened." He licked his lips and looked at her, "Why would you-"

He was interrupted as the plane hit some mild turbulence and shook them out of their tiny world. He grabbed her as she jostled with the movements, his arm snaking around her waist and yanking her tight against him. Her face rested close to the skin on his neck, her hands pressed against the front of his shoulders as the plane steadied itself and she felt his warm breath against her cheek as he held her close for a few moments longer than necessary. She pulled her head back an inch or two and met his eyes with hers, brown meeting brown; and then she smiled a slow, knowing smile that women had been giving men for centuries. She eased her body back a bit, he was after all a married man and felt her breath catch as he held her tighter, not allowing any more space to come between them. His voice was soft, husky, and unsure as he spoke to her, his warm, minty breath brushing her face, "Why did you do it? All of it? Why do you insist on being the sacrificial lamb every time?"

She swallowed and dropped her eyes from him, wanting desperately to be able to run and hide from his all-seeing eyes. She sighed, as he used one hand to tilt her head back up to him and forced her to look him in the eyes as she explained. "I don't know." She shook her head, "I don't know who I am. I don't think I ever did." She took a shaky breath and slid her hands to hold his shoulders gently in their grasp, "I guess it makes me feel like a superhero. Every time that I get to go in and get my hands dirty and really be a part of it, I feel invincible; and for that second in time, I have an identity. I'm SSA Emily Prentiss… but I don't," her voice broke as she licked her lips timidly and bit her lip, fighting her emotions, "I don't know who that girl is outside of that."

"I do." His voice was warm and gentle as he held her, and bent low enough so that they were eyeball to eyeball, "You are Emily Prentiss, and that's a helluva lot more than I ever gave you credit for being. You're smart, tough, dedicated, and driven. You've pissed me off and you've made me proud; ironically, usually doing both at the same time." The corners of his lips turned upward as she chuckled lowly and he sighed, "You're able to be that superhero agent, but you're so much more than that. You need to stop self-deprecating and realize what an amazing woman you are, Emily. You're beautiful, and headstrong, and don't kid yourself, every male agent within our building has cast his eyes over you more than once."

His hand tentatively traced through her dark brown locks and he sighed, "You're the complete package, Emily Prentiss."

She damned the tears she felt burning behind her eyes; she couldn't remember ever hearing someone tell her they were proud of her before. Straightening up, Hotch took a step back from her, and she fought an internal battle to tell him not to let go, because when he was around, she felt like the kind of person she'd always dreamt of being. He ran his hands over her shoulders and down to her elbows, his eyes darkening slightly before he leaned forward and brushed his lips over her forehead, "We've had a rough couple days. Go get some rest." She felt every bit of air leave her lungs, like a balloon releasing all it's air, as he slipped form her grasp and disappeared through the curtain. She collapsed against the counter he'd been leaning on and dropped her head, trying to wrap her mind around everything that had just passed between them. She took several slow breaths before emerging and cuddling up on the large leather couch of the plane, buckling in and awaiting their soon arrival home.

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_THUMP THUMP THUMP_

She grit her jaw, and muttered softly to herself about shooting whoever was on the opposite side of her door, pounding to gain entrance at 2 am. She padded down to the door in her black sleep shorts and largely oversized tee shirt, her hands in fists next to her sides, before she ripped the door open to give the person a piece of her mind. Her words stopped in her throat as her eyes took in the broken man leaning against her doorframe. Still in his suit, but obviously not nearly as pulled together as he normally was. "Hotch?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, lifting his face to her, she furrowed her brow slightly upon seeing the wetness beneath his eyes. "She took him. She took him and left." Emily's eyebrows furrowed together more, inquiring what he was talking about without saying a word. He grit his jaw and balled his fists so tight his knuckles went white as he paced outside her door, "She took my son and just left." His barely restrained anger radiated off of him and she tentatively reached forward on his next pass and caught his hand, "Do you want to come in?"

He froze and looked at her, the concern and compassion readable in her eyes washed over him and he gently squeezed her hand before following her in and letting her shut the door, his hand never leaving hers. She turned to him and sighed, "Hotch…" he shook his head and leaned back against the door, "I should've known it was coming. It's… it's been coming for awhile now. I just-" he smacked his open palm against her door and gave a soft curse, "She didn't have to just take him and run like that."

Emily nodded and moved forward, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him into her, hugging him gently and rubbing his back, "I know." He reciprocated the hug slowly, and rested his cheek to the top of her head. He could smell her. Her perfume swam into his head and fogged all coherent thoughts, leaving just a sea of emotions and desires in it's wake. Her forehead rested against his neck as he held her tight and she sighed against the skin, "Don't go back. Stay tonight. Stay with me." Her words were soft, muffled, but she knew he heard them. She'd been working towards saying that for years, and tonight was the first, albeit the worst, opportunity to get to utter them. She felt him sigh against her hair and knew he was internally debating his decision. Her mouth felt like cotton as he pulled back and stared down at her, with unsure chocolate eyes, before his hands came up to clasp her face gently and he rested his forehead to hers, "This'd be a big mistake."

She licked her lips and his insides knotted tightly as he watched her. Her hands moved across his back to rest against the sides of his ribcage as she looked up at him with wide, brown eyes, "It doesn't feel that way now."

He shook his head, "It will tomorrow." He knew it would, and if any of his common sense had kicked in, he would've up and walked away while he still could. She turned her face into his palm and kissed it tenderly before smiling up at him, "I'm sick of thinking about tomorrow. All my life has focused around planning for the future. Just once, I'd like to let tomorrow take care of itself, and enjoy today." She leaned her chest to his and sighed softly, as her face came closer to his, "Let me help, Hotch. Let me make you feel better."

He'd been offered the golden ticket, as it were, an invitation to experience everything that this woman was; and he'd be a damned fool if he passed on it. He dipped his head and closed the remaining margin of space, letting his breath brush her lips for a moment before sealing his mouth to hers and wrapping his arms around her tightly, effectively acting out all the desires he'd ever had for her. His body guided her back to the wall opposite her door and he pressed he into it, his firm frame holding her against it, and his arms trapping her there.

Sensations rushed over him and he gathered her tightly to him as he deepened the kiss and tasting her for the first time. She sighed into his mouth, and he took it for his own, saving it in his memory so that years from now he'd be able to recall it, and remember her, and tonight. She ran her hands down his sides and around to his back, holding him firmly against her and arching her chest into him, as his mouth moved from hers to trail down her throat and across her jugular; his lips and teeth biting and tasting her and savoring each moment of it. She gripped his shoulders tightly and bit her lip as his hands slid under her tee, before pulling her away from the wall and whipping the obstacle off her body, leaving her torso bare to him.

All coherent thought was gone as he nipped and kissed his way across her chest and abdomen, leaving a path of fire in his wake and encouraging her to give herself over to him. He wanted nothing more than to drive her beyond the point of control until she was writhing for release beneath him, release only he could give her. She panted his name softly and he leaned up, pressing his mouth to her ear and nearly growling his demand to her, "Aaron. Tonight, I am Aaron."

She nodded willingly and let him lead her to the stairs and up. Her breathy moans and whispered directions guiding them towards her bed as she pushed his jacket, shirt and tie from his body, while he continued worshipping her with his lips, teeth, and tongue. The backs of her knees impacted the bed and she gasped softly as they tumbled onto the mattress, him pulling her to him as they landed side by side. His hand traced up her flank and he reached up to her hair, fisting his hand in it slightly and guiding her head to his as he kissed her hard and pulled her on top of him, his hands quickly pushing into her shorts and guiding them down as far as his hands could, and letting her slide off him to remove them. His heart stopped as her hands gripped his belt buckle, and he gripped the sheets and comforter in his fists as she slowly undid his belt and pants and stripped him of all remaining clothing. He felt sweat break out on his forehead and reached up, running one hand through his hair and reminded himself to breathe as her hands began moving across his torso and abdomen and then down across his thighs. His entire body seemed to be pulsing into a throbbing puddle of need, the urgency crouching down within him ready to pounce. He swallowed as she crawled up his body and pressed her frame to his, with a soft smile. She traced his forehead and cheek with her fingers and pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth gently, before sighing his name against his lips.

He rolled her beneath him and traced down the center of her chest and abdomen with his hand, his forehead resting against hers as he mirrored her, whispering her name against her mouth as his hand found it's final destination. He grinned as she shivered and gripped his shoulders tight, murmuring her approval and encouraging him. He kissed her jugular and she jolted in his grasp, while his hands explored her and pushed her up to the cliff before backing her away and letting his hips rest just a fraction above hers, "Emily, I don't… have…" her fingers covered his mouth and she shook her head, "Don't. We don't need it." She ran her hand down his body and guided him to her, her eyes reflecting her needs and wants from him. His name was a harsh whisper as pleasure, deep soul satisfying pleasure surged within her as he claimed her as his own. Her mind blanked as he moved her. Her lungs heaved for air that wouldn't come as he whispered to her and breathed her name over and over again; her blood pumping through her veins like fire, igniting every inch of her, until everything went still and their pants for air were all that was left.

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They were asleep.

Light shone in through her white linen curtains and gently caressed their forms as they laid entwined together in her bed, his arm over her. She blinked her eyes open and smiled as she rested her hand over his arm, holding her to the bed, holding her to him. A soft sigh sounded from behind her and she bit her lip. This was the moment that decisions would be made. He'd said last night that it would all be a mistake today, and she felt the anxiousness in her system begin to rise. She didn't want to lose him, not after this, but she knew that it was part of the deal they'd made. His lips on the back of her shoulder and his gentle tug, bringing her body tight to his, quelled those thoughts though. He nuzzled the back of her neck and sighed, "Morning."

She rubbed his arm gently and stared at her drapes, her stomach knotting, and her muscles tensing as she tried to be secure about the situation they were in, "Morning." He sighed and licked his lips, nerves starting to get the best of him. He was fairly certain that there was some sort of awkward moment meant to play out here, or that he should've left when he'd woken up several hours ago; but lying there, holding her, feeling her against him had stopped all those thoughts long before he'd even thought to act on them. She'd wormed her way in, and now he was almost certain that there'd be no way out of this; not when they were so clearly meant for each other. He turned her over onto her back and gazed down at her, pushing a lock of brown hair behind her ear and swallowing his nerves, "I can't be the man you deserve. I'm still legally married. I have a son. I'm more married to my work than I ever was my wife. I can't promise you that this isn't going to get complicated or that we both aren't going to get hurt."

She stared up at him with a slight glimmer of hope in her eyes and caught his cheek in her hand, "I don't care about any of that. What I want, what I care about, is you. That's all you need to give me."

He smiled and rested his forehead to hers, "I can do that."


	2. 3x03 Scared to Death

**A/N: So, if you've been with this fic since the beginning you'd recall that it was originally written to be a one-shot. After several reviews and messages about seeing where this would go and all that, I felt that the requests could not be ignored. This is based on 3x03 "Scared to Death" which obviously is the next one in line with the season. **

**To x-mj-x, Patty, and my own personal JJ, thank you for being my sounding boards as I continued this and thank you for helping me work through the bugs. You guys are amazing. **

**READ AND REVIEW, PLEASE. I'd love to hear how you all feel about the continuation, and I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. I want this to be something that my readers can look at and see some of their input too. :)**

**DISCLAIMER IS IN THE FIRST CHAPTER.**

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><p><em><strong>"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You mist do the think which you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt.<strong>_

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His eyesight was starting to blur as he stared long and hard at the words on the page. He blinked his eyes hard and chanced a glance out the window, staring out into the black unending sky and taking a long breath. His thoughts swallowed him whole, uncertainty reverberating in his skull as he let his mind mull over Haley and Jack, him and Emily, and where this all was heading. His head dropped back to the headrest and his eyes flickered shut, his minding reminding him of the last time they'd been on this jet, the night he'd first discovered that Haley had left, and the night he'd sought out Emily's company.

He couldn't help but smile as a warm body slid into the seat next to him, her hand seeking his out under the table and quickly entwining their fingers. He knew she'd made sure the rest of their team was asleep before coming over; she was far too careful with herself to do anything to jeopardize their professionalism. He gave her hand a tender squeeze and sought the comfort she so willingly offered to him; silent support that he'd never gotten from Haley. Thin fingers tracing through his hair, brought his eyes to open and catch her concerned eyes moving across the planes of his face, "You okay?" He swallowed thickly and gripped her hand a little tighter, "I don't know."

She pursed her lips slightly and cocked her head, "The case?" He shook his head and blew out a huff of air, "No. I…" hesighed and shrugged, nodding to the sleeping form of Morgan across from him, "I told him… about Haley."

She nodded and rested her free hand on his shoulder, "Okay..." She waited for him to continue with that line of thought, but was greeted with silence. "I think it's good. You need support right now." She gave him a supportive smile and looked across the table at Derek and watched him sleep for several moments before looking back at Hotch with uncertain eyes, "What, uh… what did he say about it?" He sighed and looked at their hands, as he moved them into his lap, "He didn't."

Her mouth formed a silent 'o' and she licked the corner of her mouth, sucking the side of her lip into her mouth and biting it sharply, her eyes studying their hands as he traced their entwined fingers with his free hand; her voice was soft, just above a whisper as she spoke, "Aaron…"

She winced as his body tensed and he tightened his jaw, a soft hiss escaping his lips, "Emily… not here. We… I can't do this here." Her head lifted, mouth to protest and found her gaze met with fiery eyes. He shook his head and turned away from her as Morgan begin to shift in his seat, slowly waking from his slumber. She cleared her throat and tugged her hands back slowly as Hotch chanced a glance at the man across from them. She looked up at him with a smile on her lips that didn't quite reach her eyes and nodded, "It'll be okay, Hotch. You'll be fine." She met his eyes with hers and exhaled slowly, "I'll let you get back to work." She nodded to the files in front of him and scooted from the chair, quickly striding to the opposite end of the plane, and curling up in a chair, knees tucking into her chest as insecurity tugged at her soul.

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He couldn't stop himself from watching her in the bull pen. The way her body moved as she grabbed her coat and purse, lean muscles gliding against each other as she slid the jacket on and secured it on her form; the way her lips quirked up at something Morgan said and the way the smile widened upon her plump full red mouth. He sighed and ran a hand through the short crop of dark hair on his head and then over the back of his neck. They'd gotten back to DC around 4 am, had arrived back at the BAU by 5, and had just now finished up their paperwork by 7; it'd been one of those cases he was just happy was over and done with. Part of him just wanted to go home, have a stiff drink and collapse in bed, and part of him wanted to go home and collapse in bed, with her at his side.

His head jerked up as his office door opened and Morgan's head popped in, "Hey Hotch, we're all going out for some breakfast. You comin?" Hotch shook his head and nodded to the pile of folders on his desk. Morgan sighed and furrowed his brow, "You aren't seriously going to stay here and do all that are you? Hotch, we just got back. You haven't slept and we have the rest of today off. Go home. Get some rest. Call your wife. Do something other than stay here at work, man." Hotch's eyebrows rose towards his hair line and he studied the younger man with hard eyes before nodding slowly and running his palm over his eyes, "Maybe you're right."

She'd felt his eyes on her since they'd had their talk in the jet. She knew his dark, stormy eyes were following her every move and sge hated herself for getting into this situation. She'd played with fire before but this was like dousing herself in gasoline and walking into a burning building. There would be no escaping a burn from this. Her eyes flicked up to his office and she found his eyes staring right into hers. Her breath hitched slightly as she watched him watching her and she gave a slight incline of her head, silently asking if he was coming out with them. His subtle headshake back almost had her in tears, although admittedly they were tears of joy over not having to stomach an awkward meal of stares and silences. She smiled as Derek returned to their group and nodded to the door, his arm casually resting around her and Garcia's shoulders as he led them out.

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He couldn't remember ever drinking at this time in the morning, but then again, he hadn't ever been in this sort of position. Married but separated, and sleeping with his subordinate. What the hell had he been thinking? When had the latter part of that seemed like a good idea? And then it all hit him in one massive flashback; her eyes, her mouth, her skin, her touch, her bed. She'd offered herself up to him, and while it would be easy to lay the blame on her, he knew that it took two to tango. They were so different, his women, Haley and Emily. He sipped the whiskey, letting it burn its way down his throat as he pictured them both in his mind's eye.

He didn't tell Emily that Morgan had asked if he wanted Haley to come back. He'd never answered the question directly, mostly because he wasn't definitive on the answer. He and Haley hadn't been good together for a while now; fights were almost a nightly expectation, suspicions on his end that there was another man, hatred on her end for his job, the list of reasons they were falling apart was endless. Ultimately though, he couldn't deny the fact that he did indeed love Haley; would always love Haley. She mothered his son, she'd been with him for so many years, that he couldn't image not loving her; but then, was that all he felt towards her? That loving her was a 'security blanket', comfortable, safe, constant; and that missing her, was really missing more than companionship she'd brought to the home they shared, missing the knowledge that when he came home, there'd be someone there to meet him.

And then there was Jack. His mind pictured his son and he sighed softly. He missed his child; missed holding, hugging, kissing, hearing his child in their home. He missed seeing the little mop of brown hair darting up and down the stairs with action figures, missed the sound of his laughter as he watched a movie. He couldn't stop the corners of his lips from turning upward, as he realized, a large part of wanting Haley to come back, was actually wanting Jack to come back. He missed his wife, but he missed his son more. His son hadn't walked out on him. It was a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that he, the master of control, had absolutely NO control over Haley's return; she'd left him, and if she wanted to return, she would. And if not...

He shook his head, avoiding going back into a spiral of thoughts about Haley and his future with her. He stared into the amber of his drink and licked his lips, as he came to the harsh reality that he truly had no idea what would happen if Haley did come back, not because he wouldn't be happy about it, but because another woman had managed to bring him to life, to save him when he hadn't even realized he'd needed saving. Emily. His subordinate, and in many ways, the only woman to ever truly understand everything he was experiencing. She seemed to understand when he needed that little bit of support and when he needed space; but she was never afraid to push him, make him do the uncomfortable thing, even if it meant getting the brunt of his anger over it. He thought about the small moment they'd shared on the jet, just a few hours prior, and his stomach did a small tumble as he recalled her hand sliding into his, the way she'd given him a tender squeeze to silently tell him that she was there for him. He didn't know what he wanted from Emily, but he sure as hell wanted more than just the sex she'd been so keen to offer. She meant more than just a fling to help him move on from this; she deserved more. He finished his glass of whiskey and set it down on the table next to him, eying his phone and debating if he should call her and talk to her about this, or just let it lie.

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Her eyes passed over the large red numbers on the clock next to her bed, blinking brightly that it was 8 am. She covered her mouth as a yawn escaped and wanted to physically hit her head into the wall, for not sleeping as much as she should've on the jet ride home. That was the downside of sleeping with the _married _boss of the team; her mind wouldn't let her just relax. What the hell had she been thinking? Why had asking him to stay seemed like such a good idea? Then she remembered the way he'd looked, so broken and unsure, and she sighed. Damning herself and her own compulsive need to take care of people she stood up and headed into her kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water.

Her body leaned heavily against the granite countertop as she sipped at the drink, her free hand massaging her temple as she thought about the situation surrounding her. She cared for Hotch, he was a friend and yet there was so much more there; she could feel it just under the surface, itching to get out. She couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. A year ago, she thought he couldn't stand her; he'd been cold, distant, untrusting. Now, here she was trying to figure out why in the hell she'd let him fall into her bed and arms. It was such a complete turn around. She licked her lips and chewed on the corner of her bottom lip as she thought about where this whole thing was heading. He was never the most emotionally available man on the planet, even when he'd worked for her mother he'd been stoic and professional; but now, because of Haley's recent attitude about his work and her leaving, he'd opened up. He was letting her in more and letting her see this side of him that she hadn't even been sure existed.

She smiled as she remembered walking into his office on her first day at the BAU and feeling like someone punched her in the gut; she'd felt like she was 19 all over again, lusting after the tall, dark man that was in control of her mother's security detail, except this time around she worked for him. She sighed and set the empty glass into her sink, mentally kicking herself for letting emotions enter into this thing that was happening between her Hotch. She swallowed as she made up her mind. This wouldn't ever grow into a relationship, it was purely a comfort thing; friends with benefits, but on a much more intense scale. Careers were at stake, hell, a marriage and family were at stake; she could not consciously let herself feel something for a man who wasn't completely available. She stared at her phone, debating on calling him, letting him know that she was okay with the arrangement, so long as they were both clear on the no-strings policy that she'd just created in her mind. She sighed and turned away from the small piece of plastic.

_Later. _

She'd handle it later.

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><p><strong>AN: See that purple button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Thanks! :)**


	3. 3x04 Children of the Dark

**A/N:** It took me two days to write the A/N. I have SO many things I want to say but I hate rambling through this... so let's get down to business. **READ AND REVIEW, PLEASE. **I'd love to hear how you all feel about the continuation, and I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. I want this to be something that my readers can look at and see some of their input too. :)

**1.** This story, though keeping with the episodes of the season, will not necessarily be 100% true to the canon of the show. This chapter, for example, is going to start taking them a little off the course of the show. I knew eventually there would be a shift away onto a different track, and I was and still am okay with that, but there is going to be a shift in their characters slightly. THAT being said, this is fanfic and that's what this is all about. LOL

**2.** This has grown into such a little work of love on my end. Who knew when I wrote the first chapter I'd get such an amazing response to it? I have a few people to thank this time around. First and foremost, to **x-mj-x, greengirl82, HGRHfan35 and my personal JJ**, thank you so much for the reviews and messages that helped get the ball rolling on not only this chapter but the 2 others I have completed. I'm weeks ahead of schedule and it feel marvelous, darlings.

**3.** **To my faithful reviewers:** **x-mj-x, greengirl82, HGRHfan35, fanficlover, miaa29, HPforever-after, Rolfy, and BekaRoo**: I really appreciate all the support and encouragement. You all are amazing and I am thankful to have your support, please know I read the reviews over and over and over and over again to make sure that I live up to every single one of your expectations. You guys really do mean a lot to me and I'm very grateful for the time you take out of your day to leave me a message. **To my subscribers, and people who have favorited me/this story:** Thank you too! I never knew so many people could care enough to want to read my work and it does mean a whole lot to me! :)

**4. **THIS chapter is going to get into the angst of it all, because let's face it reality's a bitch sometimes. I am one of those authors that edits up until the very end, and as i'm writing this I'm still looking at the chapter going, should I change this? Can I put in more dialogue here? So, to make up for the angst here, I promise the next chapter is a whole lot better and happier! :)

**Possible spoilers for 3X04 "Children of the Dark".**

**Disclaimers in the first chapter.**

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><p>To say things had been stressed since the last time they'd been on the plane, their intimate moment that had nearly been interrupted by Morgan, was an understatement. They were both masters at their jobs, at being able to tuck away their emotions and do their job, but right now, as their relationship hinged at an impasse, they couldn't avoid the awkwardness in the situation. She'd been blatantly avoiding him outside of work; ignoring his calls, standing away from him, actively doing everything possible to not be alone with him. He didn't understand it; understand her. One moment she's consoling him in the most intimate of ways, the next she's cold, complacent, and silent. His eyes flicked over to her every so often, watching her graceful movements as she fidgeted in the chair, his eyes picturing her lean body as it moved, remembering just how exquisite she was when outside this environment.<p>

She knew when he was looking at her, his eyes always had that power to see through her and give her chills. She'd been trying to ignore him since their last unfortunate encounter; her famous compartmentalizing skills locking in and keeping him at bay. She'd been doing a damn good job of it too; then JJ got this case. All week whenever he'd walk past her or brush her arm and she'd catch a breath of his scent, the tinge of aftershave, musk, and him infiltrating her mind; she felt her walls begin to tumble.

"_I think it's a good idea. You. Kids. I can see it." _

JJ's words reverberated through her mind as she stared out into the dark, her eyes unseeing as thoughts danced around in her head. She'd never seen herself settling down, marrying, having a family and home with white picket fence and a dog. She'd dedicated herself to the job, to being the best she could be and proving her mother wrong. She'd always wanted to be the one that did everything that people said she couldn't do; and it'd gotten her far. She'd accomplished everything she wanted to; but now, at her age, she was starting to feel the need to be something more to someone.

Their encounter at the station, when they'd been packing up their files and photos was still very fresh in her mind; how he'd so carelessly squelched her tiny flame of hope about taking Carrie in and being a mother. She mentally cursed herself for even bothering to try to talk to him about it. The whole concept seemed to be beyond him, her wanting to be a mother. She'd never had much a mother, and the desire to right all the wrongs that she'd experienced was very strong in her; especially right now, as her maternal clock began to click very very loudly. If anyone would've known what a shitty childhood she'd had, it would be him. He'd worked for her mother, spent time with her; he knew what a cold-hearted snake she'd been raised by, and yet he was still surprised that she'd want to reach out.

She sighed and, for a few precious moments, let herself tuck into the desires she'd been secretly harboring. The seat next to her dipped as a body slid in next to her. She turned her eyes from the window, scanning over to the person next to her and sighing in exasperation at seeing him. His mouth was a straight line as he took in her reaction to his presence. Her voice was soft, but sharp as she turned away from him, back to the window, back to the darkness, "What?"

He didn't know what to do; he wasn't good at this like she was. He sighed and folded his hands on the table in front of him, thankful that everyone was scattered across the plane, but she was alone. He suddenly became infatuated with his hands locked together on the wood surface in front of him, "Prentiss, we need to talk."

She scoffed and restrained herself from rolling her eyes. She shook her head and held up her hand, "No, Hotch. We can't…_ I_ can't do this, here." She gave him a pointed look, hoping he remembered using those words to her just over a week prior. She shook her head slowly and crossed her arms over her chest. He cleared his throat and leaned in closer to her, "That's not fair and you know it."

She turned over her shoulder, her eyes narrowed but the ever present fire behind them glowing brightly, "Fair? How has any of this been fair?" She licked her lips and closed her eyes, "I don't want to do this. Not here, not with them around. Please."

"Emily, we can't just avoid this." He reached over, and rested his hand on her forearm, his thumb stroking her wrist, "We have to talk about… everything. I'm alright with not doing it here, but I'm not letting this continue on any longer. We have things we need to discuss."

She kept her back to him, meeting his eyes in their reflection on the window of the jet, "What is there to discuss, _Aaron_?" She watched as he leaned forward and moved his hand up her arm to her shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze, "Later." He caught her eyes in the window and gave a small nod before finally leaving her back alone in the solitude she so desperately craved in that moment.

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She groaned as she collapsed tiredly into the passenger seat and covered her eyes with her hand, a yawn leaving her mouth before she could even register it. The rest of the team had people to go home to, people that missed them while they were gone; she and Hotch had decided to head straight back to the BAU. She couldn't remember the last time they'd driven together in such an uncomfortable silence. She licked her lips and blinked her eyes open as she tilted her seat back and closed her eyes, escaping from him for as many moments as she could; hoping against hope that he'd believe she was asleep next to him.

She jolted slightly as the car came to a stop and blinked her eyes open, glancing around her in confusion and trying to identify where they were. Her eyes widened as she realized they were parked in her apartment complex parking lot. She cast a hesitant glance at him and was surprised to see him, blatantly staring at her. She pulled her eyes away quickly, surprised he'd been watching her, and began studying her fingernails as she picked at them, "I thought we were going back to the BAU?"

The question was more a statement than question and she bit her lip slightly as silence overtook the couple once more. His sigh filled the cabin of the truck as he gripped the steering wheel tightly and grit his teeth for a moment before looking at her, watching her, "We need to talk, and I'm not going to let you avoid it for another moment. I've let this go on far too long."

She turned her eyes to his and met his brown eyes with hers, "And we're going to talk in your car?"

He shrugged and turned his body to face her, "It's better than being at the office, and it's public enough that we still have to be mindful of our surroundings."

She sighed and studied his face with a slight glimmer of hope tinging her dark orbs. Her body tensed as his hands covered hers, and pulled them apart, his fingers entwining with each of her hands and holding them gently, coaxing her to relax in his grip. She finally turned her eyes away as she realized that she was letting her emotions out, that she'd stupidly lowered her wall for him a second time. She tugged on her hands, cursing him silently as he didn't release them. He took a slow breath and began in cautious gentle tones, "I wasn't saying you couldn't be a mother. I just think you need to stay objective. She's a victim from one of our cases, Emily. You wanting to bring her home like a child bringing home a helpless puppy isn't realistic. That's why I questioned your objectiveness."

Her eyes had hardened as he spoke. Objective. That's all Aaron Hotchner had ever really cared about. Being 'objective'. Her steeled eyes held his as they silently held their own ground. "Like a child?"

He nodded and caressed her hand with his thumb, tenderly tracing her skin and trying to keep her calm, knowing he was playing with dynamite. "Yes, Emily, you were acting like a child, and I know you feel like..."

She ripped her hands away from him and pulled her body back form him, anger radiating from her as she grit her jaw and interrupted him swiftly, "_NO, _Hotch! You don't know what I'm feeling. You don't know what it's like growing up and only ever wanting to be loved by your mother or constantly feeling like you have to be perfect. You _know_ I'm objective on the job, that I live to do this job better than anyone else; but God damn it, Aaron, being human is part of being objective."

"Emily..." He looked at her, his jaw tight, as she shook her head, tears rimming her eyes. He wanted to hold her, desperately wanted to hold her and tell her that she'd be okay, that this would all work out.

"DON'T Emily, me. You've already said all you needed to say, so you don't get to talk anymore. Right now, you don't get to do anything but listen." He nodded stiffly as she took the control from him and spoke in harsh, whispered tones that let him see how terribly hurt she'd been by his comments. "You think it all revolves around objectiveness; the job, having a family, this fucked up thing that we have between us. It's all about being objective, keeping it all in line." She paused and took a slow deliberate breath, reigning in her anger and gave him a pointed glare, "Aaron, I can compartmentalize the hell out the job. I can go home at night and tuck the images and sounds away and it doesn't bother me, but this," she gestured between them and shook her head, "This is different. I can't compartmentalize_ this _and I can't pretend that being a mother is just a silly little fantasy that I dreamt up."

He watched as the pink of her tongue peeked out from the corner of her mouth, followed by her teeth closing over her lip for a moment as she dropped her eyes and picked at her nails for a moment. A soft bitter chuckle escaped her lips as she lifted her eyes to him and shook her head in defeat, "I can't compartmentalize that whatever this is, is just a game to you. I can't compartmentalize that at the end of the day, I'm just the rebound girl, a friend with benefits that will be thrown to the side when Haley changes her mind." He opened his mouth to speak, to contest everything she thought was true about their pseudo-relationship but her fingers covered his lips, silencing him gently, "And she will change her mind, Hotch. She'll think about what a great guy you are, what a great father you are, and everything else won't matter. She's going to remember that you are the job, you've always been the job, and she's going to realize that it's worth it; tolerating your obsessive need to work, is worth having you in her life. I know she will, because any smart woman would come back to you, would fight for you."

She looked up towards the ceiling, fighting back the emotion before looking back down at him. He reached for her and turned his head from her as she pulled her hands back, "And when she does come back, you're going to have a choice. You're going to have to a lot to think about. And I want you to think about this, Hotch," She reached forward and forced his face to look at hers, before her hand dropped from him. Her dark eyes held his, as she took a shaky breath and continued, "I want you to think about the fact that, maybe if you were a little less _objective_, and a little more human, that your wife wouldn't have walked out and taken your son away in the first place?"

His eyes shut as he sighed and shook his head, his tone unaffected, his body showing no tell that she'd hit him where it hurt most, but his voice reflecting the pain she'd just inflicted on him, "Prentiss, that is enough."

She scoffed lightly, and rolled her eyes. He'd obviously ignored everything she'd just said. Frustration radiated from her as she grit her jaw and looked at him, "You're right. It is enough. I really hope you love your job enough to keep you warm at night because your wife is done, and now I am too." Before he could react, she'd grabbed her bag and was out of the car, door in hand. She turned around and blinked as a lone tear slid down her cheek, "Do NOT come after me, Aaron."

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His eyes didn't leave the space she'd previously occupied for several minutes before he turned and rested his head on his hand, fingers gently massaging the front of his forehead as he tried to figure out where it had all gone wrong. That feeling he'd had in his gut, as she stormed away, was something akin to when he'd come home and found Haley gone; that sucker punch of reality telling him he'd fucked up beyond repair. He stared at the building for several long seconds, mentally debating whether or not it was wise to follow her; whether or not she'd want to talk to him.

He turned the vehicle back on, his hand resting on the shifter, when an image appeared in his mind of Emily, leaning against her front door, letting all the walls down and crying. He'd been unreceptive to her as she opened up to him today. She never opened up to him; JJ, Garcia, Morgan, hell even Reid, they all knew who she was behind that wall. He'd been intimate with her, had spent a night making love with her, and he couldn't even listen to her as she told him about her dream to be a mother? He turned the SUV off and climbed out. He'd brought her here to talk, and he wasn't leaving without telling her what he wanted to say.

His strides turned into jogs as he stepped into the building and headed up to her floor. He stopped at the end of her hallway and stared at her door, rubbing his hands together he took a deep breath and headed towards her apartment. He stared at the numbers on her door for 5 minutes, his hand poised to knock, before he dropped it to his side and dropped his head. Who the hell was he kidding? This wasn't meant to be. She was Emily Prentiss; she deserved so much more than he could ever give her. He dropped his forehead to her front door softly, and pressed his palm to her door, silently saying goodbye before he turned and walked down the hall; missing the moment when she'd opened the door and seen his retreating back, missing the moment that she realized she'd fucked up beyond repair.

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><p><strong>AN: See that purple button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Thanks! :)**


	4. 3x05 Seven Seconds

A/N: Holy cow! Can you believe we're at chapter 4 already? WHAAAA? So... to my amazing 8 reviewers: **Charmony, HGRHfan35, greengirl82, HPforever-after, Rolfy, miaa29, and Cinnamon**- Thank you for the reviews. I love you guys and will continue to write as long as I have people to read my stuff.

This chapter was inspired by multiple conversations with **x-MJ-x, greengirl82, HGRHfan35, and JJ**. As usual, I feel the need to credit them. If you'd like to be included in that credit, please leave me some feedback and what you'd like to see, and I'll try to use it! :D

To **x-MJ-x**: This is dedicated to you. You are simply amazing and I adore you. Thank you for beta-ing this chapter, and the next couple ones, and thank you for always being such a faithful reviewer and friend. You are incredible and I'm so lucky to "know" you. :) xx.

This segment is based around **3x05 "Seven Seconds".**

**In other news- this chapter is my second longest one EVER! YAY!**

**READ AND REVIEW, PLEASE! :)**

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1. ;)**

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><p><em><strong>"There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love." - Bryant H. McGill<strong>_

Awkward.

It was the only possible word that could describe the air between them.

No one dared ask why the two of them would stand at opposite ends of the room, or blatantly avoid having to share an elevator or vehicle, for fear of losing a limb or their life, but the extreme tension was palpable between them. No one dared tempt fate and pick at that heaviness in the room, no one except for Jennifer Jareau. For what felt like months, but was merely just a few weeks, she'd been watching them, catching little moments of disdain or rapture between them; she'd been the first to sense that there might be something going on behind their normally perfectly veneered facades. Today hadn't been different. They'd been avoiding each other at all costs, until they couldn't any longer. She knew that the case was hitting a personal note for both of them; one as a parent, one as a woman who wanted to be one. She'd shared more than one moment with Emily as they'd searched for the little girl, and she'd seen those moments where haunted thoughts lurked behind Emily's deep eyes. The only light she'd seen from the brunette during the day had been when she'd stood next to Hotch, little sparks of electricity that had JJ further questioning the relationship between the two adults.

Deep down, she knew the only way to confront this was like a train, take it head on, and she was almost positive it was going to be as bloody as that too. She twirled her pen between her fingers, feet kicked up on her desk, as she tried to decide whether or not she wanted to confront the unit chief or her friend. Going straight to Hotch would mean short answers and her job being on the line, but he knew better than to lie to her. Going to Emily meant that there would be camaraderie there, their friendship would soften the questions that would be asked, and if nothing came of it, it would just have been 'girl talk'; but Agent Emily Prentiss wasn't stupid and JJ knew that too. She tossed her pen down on the unfinished file about Katie Jacobs and stood, brushing herself off and deciding to let the chips fall where they may - whoever she saw first would be the one she confronted. Her heeled feet carried her down the hallway and to the glass doors of the BAU, slowly shutting behind SSA Aaron Hotchner. She grit her jaw tight, deciding to follow through and ask him, but stopped as she entered the room and saw a scene unfamiliar to her play out. She sighed as she watched him walk past Emily, barely acknowledging her existence and watched Emily follow him to his office with her large brown eyes, hurt evident. She rolled her eyes and headed over to her friend, grabbing her by the elbow and guiding her to a quiet corner of the BAU, "Spill."

As soon as the hand had clamped onto her arm, Emily knew she needed to put all the little boxes in her mind, emblazoned with his name, away and play as dumb as she could. Emily's eyebrow lifted as she studied her blonde co-worker. "Spill what, Jayje?" JJ nodded towards Hotch's office and crossed her arms over her chest, "What's going on with you and Hotch?" Emily snorted softly and shook her head, "Nothing is going on with me and Hotch, JJ." JJ raised her eyebrow skeptically and tilted her head. She leaned in closer and squeezed her friend's elbow gently, "Just be careful, Emily. He's a married man." Emily sighed and licked her lips, dropping her head, nervously scratching at the back of her neck and muttering softly, "Not for long…" JJ's eyes widened to the size of saucers and she grabbed her friend's hand, "Oh my God, Emily. Tell me you didn't…"

Emily had to think fast since no one on the team knew about her and Hotch. She shook her head and squeezed JJ's hand, "No! No no. Nothing like that… He…" she shrugged and moved closer to her, speaking in low whispers. "He told me that Haley left." She bit her lip and looked towards his office, "Apparently, she got sick of the job coming first." She swallowed and turned back, "I've been listening to him, when he needs to talk. Just sort of being an ear he can vent at." JJ nodded slowly and smiled, "Oh. Okay then." She chuckled softly and bopped her head from side to side, "I guess I just assumed..." Emily's eyebrows furrowed together and she smirked, "Assumed what, JJ?" The blonde shrugged and grin like the Cheshire cat, "You two just... you have these moments and I didn't know if there was something going on or if I'd missed something... I mean, I know how you feel about him and I just thought..." Emily smiled warmly and reached forward, pulling the blonde into a small hug as she chuckled, "You're worse than Pen sometimes, Jayje." She pulled back and shook her head, "Thank you for the concern, and for just speaking of the feelings that are never to be mentioned, but no. Aaron Hotchner does not know that I..." she paused and tried to find an appropriate word for the feelings before shaking her head and laughing, "He doesn't know, and frankly, it's best that way. Married or not, it'd just get dicey and you know I don't do dicey well." JJ's laughter filled the space softly and she nodded quickly, agreeing with the brunette silently before she leaned in and added her own two cents, "Well, for what it's worth Em, when the whole thing's over and done with, I think you two would make a really great couple." Emily's eyes brightened slightly and she bit back a chuckle. "Yeah?"

JJ nodded and rested her hand on Emily's forearm, "Yeah; I see it from him too. I think you..." She paused and pursed her lips for a moment, growing serious again, "Please, just be careful." Emily nodded and looked towards his office, her heart fluttering lightly as she swallowed the lump in her throat. She watched JJ leave and glanced around the room, finding it to be appropriately dark. Two lights flickering in the abyss. Much as she hated to admit it, he'd been right, they couldn't just avoid things, and it had never been more obvious how hard avoiding things would be as it had been during this case. She'd caught herself more than once today, staring at him and she cursed herself each time. It'd been easy enough to focus when he wasn't with her, but the moment he'd paired up with her to interview the Uncle, she'd felt the electric spark between them. She'd seen a side of him in that interrogation that she couldn't ever remember seeing before. She'd seen a fire, a drive, a concentration that part of her never wanted to be directed at her; and other parts desperately wanted on her.

She knew that he was going to be haunted by this one, and the fact that he'd been the one to find and save Katie Jacobs would only enhance that. He'd gone straight from the scene to see his son, to have a tangible reminder that he was still safe. That parental instinct overriding everything else. It was cases like this one that reminded her, how lucky she was to not be a mother; knowing that she'd be a mirror of him, moved and haunted by the cases that dealt with children more than the rest of the team; knowing that if she ever did become a mother, she'd be just as dedicated to that child as she was to the job, perhaps even more so.

Her brown eyes glanced once more around the now empty bull pen, hoping against hope that there would be some excuse to tuck and run but, knowing that right now was the moment she'd been waiting for. She sighed and closed the incomplete case report on her desk and headed up to his office. She knocked once, waiting for his ascent, and took a deep breath before opening the door. She stepped into his office, and shut the door behind her, leaning her weight onto her shoulder against the solid wood. Her arms crossed in front of her as she watched him continue working on the file in front of him, "Hotch..." He glanced up, pen in hand, his lips a straight line of concentration, "Prentiss." His tone was cold enough to send chills down her back. She sighed and stepped away from the door, moving over to the seat across from him and sitting down, her legs crossing on impulse. She dropped her hands to her lap and entwined her fingers, "Hotch, why are you still here?"

He shrugged and gave a nod of his head to the large stacks on his desk, "My job doesn't end when the case is over." There it was again, that tone that was so cold it could freeze the Potomac. He turned his eyes away from her and began to work on the file again. She chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment before figuring she couldn't possibly do more damage to whatever they had between them. She reached forward and covered his hand with hers, "Today, it does."

She held his eyes with hers as she gripped his hand lightly and made sure he understood that she was speaking to him from a place much deeper than agent to agent, "Look, I know things have been…" she licked her lips and shook her head, "I think you need to take a break. You need to go home, have a drink and take a shower, do something other than being here. The files will be here tomorrow. Go home." She smirked and shrugged, "If not for your own sanity then for mine. I won't be able to sleep knowing you're still here." Her fingers traced the smooth skin of his hand, "Please."

He had a flashback to the last time he'd heard something like that. Derek had said it, the night that he'd first pushed Emily away. He held her eyes, something unreadable flickering in them and he swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat. Emily Prentiss didn't show emotion like this. She wasn't JJ, she didn't mother the team. The last time he'd seen this warmth, they'd fallen into her bed. He dropped his eyes to her hand over his watching her long, lean fingers trace over the back of his hand, easing the pen from his grip and letting it drop to the file beneath their hands, her fingers gently entwining with his. She'd been just as affected by this case as he had been, but obviously for different reasons. He wasn't blind and he was able to recognize her desire to be a mother was still strong as ever; he covered her hand with his, "I'll make you a deal. I'll leave, if you will. You need a break just as much as I do."

She smiled and tilted her head, sighing lightly as he squeezed her hand and returned her gentle caresses. She nodded slowly and bit her lower lip, "Deal." He grinned slightly, a hint of his dimples slowly as he nodded, "Thank you."

She gave his hand one more squeeze before sliding her hand from his. She stood and headed to the door, turning over her shoulder she watched him gather his briefcase and jacket. He looked at her with questioning eyes as he began to stand and her smile grew, "You're welcome, Aaron."

She opened the door and headed back down to her desk, grabbing her jacket and purse and headed out of the bullpen, a slight bounce in her step, a flicker of hope in her chest that they were coming around; that a mutual forgiveness had been bestowed. She pressed the down button at the elevator and watched the numbers illuminate as the car made its way to her floor.

_Aaron_. She's used his first name. He smothered the need to jump up and punch the air in happiness. Instead, he shrugged his sport coat on and loosened his tie. Last time, they'd screwed up; mutually. It'd been disaster from the beginning, and he'd only let it snowball. He thought it was over a week ago, when she'd slammed the door of his car and stormed up to her apartment. He thought there'd be no fixing it, but something changed over the last week. Whether it was remorse on his or her end, was negotiable and unimportant; the fact was that they'd found a middle ground. He approached her from behind and tried to stifle his grin. This time around, he wasn't going to just jump into her bed, this time he was going to woo her. She deserved at least that.

She smiled as he stepped up next to her and leaned towards her slightly, "Have you eaten today?" Her eyebrows rose slightly as she turned to him with a smirk dancing across her lips. He caught her look and shrugged, "I'm asking as a concerned unit chief. Can't have my team dying of starvation." She chuckled low in her throat and shook her head, "_Something_ tells me you don't patrol Morgan's eating habits." It was his turn to chuckle as the doors to the elevator opened and the couple stepped on. He smiled broadly at her and nudged her shoulder gently, "I don't think he'd let me take him to dinner, if I asked." Her eyes widened slightly as she turned her head to him, the doors closing on their private moment.

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She'd never expected it to go like this; a late dinner at some remote family owned diner, and him driving her home. She smiled warmly as they pulled into her parking lot and sat in silence. A week ago, she'd read him the riot act and had stormed away, landing several hurtful blows in the process; but tonight, something seemed different. She turned her body to face him and was met with his eyes glowing warmly and a large smile painting his features. He'd turned to watch her as soon as he'd shifted into park. She'd been glowing all night, and he felt a sort of male pride that she'd been with him. That smile that so rarely appeared while working a case or in the BAU was plastered on her lips and he liked that he'd been the one to put it there. He chuckled with her softly as she settled into the moment, "I can't remember the last time I laughed that much." She quietly laughed and leaned her head against the headrest, her eyes squinting as she smiled wider, "I think everyone on our team would be amazed at how easy it is to like you outside of work."

She sighed softly as he reached forward and took her hand in his, his fingers wrapping around hers tenderly, "The only one I really want to impress is you, Emily." She chuckled lightly and bit her lip, turning her head from him and looking around the car, out the window, anywhere but his eyes; those damned all-seeing, all-knowing eyes that could x-ray through her well placed armor and find her vulnerability. An awkward silence filled the car, each adult trying to figure out how to address the big issue between them. Minutes ticked by, their hands staying entwined and the air becoming stifling as they both tried to find the words they both wanted to say to each other but were scared to utter. Naturally, she was the one to find them first. She gave his hand a squeeze and licked her lips, "What are we doing, Aaron?" She studied their hands and then looked up at him with insecure eyes, "Bouncing back and forth over this line. I don't… I don't want this to be the office tramp; your little side dish as you decide whether or not you want to stay with Haley." She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, "This is insane. You're still married and I…"

"She's not coming back." Her mouth opened and shut twice, no words coming out as she digested his declaration. She pursed her lips and cocked her head, eyes narrowing at him, asking him to explain more. He chuckled and shook his head, staring with earnest into her dark orbs, "She's not coming back. _Ever_. We talked. It's not worth it anymore, for either of us. She doesn't want to accept the things that come with the job, and I think that's okay." He nodded and kept hold of her eyes with his, "I don't... think I would've wanted her back. I wanted my son back. I wanted to be able to come home to someone, but that hasn't been Haley for..." he scoffed bitterly and shrugged, "That hasn't been Haley for a long time."

Her eyes dropped as he spoke and she turned her head from him, staring at her feet trying desperately to process everything he was saying, "I told you I wouldn't make any promises. I'm still not going to Emily. I know I pushed you away. I know I screwed up and I know you deserve better. Hell, a week ago, I think you made it very clear that we both know I'm no good at this." His hand cupped her cheek gently as he lifted her head, forcing her to have eye contact with him, "But, you also know that I'm a hard-headed, stubborn man when it comes to something that I want; that I don't go down without a fight." He shifted in his seat, moving closer to her, "Haley and I are done; have been done, for a while. I see that now. I see that what we had revolved around our son. It will always revolve around Jack; but a marriage can't exist purely based on that." He sighed and caressed her wrist with his fingertips, "I will always love her for that, for giving me him. But I don't love her anymore. Not the way you think I do." He swallowed and gave her a gentle tug, leaning his forehead to hers and letting his thumb trace her cheek as both their eyes slipped shut, "And I'd be an idiot to let you continue to think that all you were was some ridiculous rebound."

He gripped her hand tighter and slid his hand into her hair, cradling the back of her head in his strong hand and holding her to him, "I am horrible at this whole 'woo and chase' thing. I don't play the romantic lead well; I'm not good at the dating game like Morgan." He sighed and massaged the back of her skull with his fingers gently, "I want this though. I want to try this. I owe you that much. I owe you… us… a chance." He blinked his eyes open and leaned back a little, her silence deafening. He watched her eyes flicker open and tightened his jaw, seeing the wet glaze over her brown eyes.

She wasn't always quick to acknowledge her wrongs, especially not about something like this, but this wasn't just another guy, and certainly not just some other situation; this was Aaron Hotchner. She swallowed the final bit of her pride and took a deep breath, "I told you, Aaron. I didn't care about any of that. I wanted you. I wanted to try to get past all those stupid walls you have up, and then you just put up _more_ walls and I…" She shook her head and shrugged, "I'm okay, with this being no strings. I can accept the no promises and the no commitments. I just don't want to feel like I'm being used. I don't want to feel like the office whore, sleeping with the boss behind his wife's back."

He nodded and leaned back more, putting space between them, "You never were that to me. You were never just a conquest; I need you to understand that. If that's all it had been, I would've found a way to have had you a long time ago." He slid his fingers from her hair, gliding the backs of his fingers down the side of her face, "Emily, I want you and I want this to work, but if I want this to really work, I know I have to let you take your time." His thumb traced her lips as he studied her, "I want you to weigh all your options and choose what's best for you. If you decide to do this with me, I want to be absolutely sure you're doing this because that is what you really want. I want to know you're getting as much as me from this." He cupped her jaw gently and let his fingers caress her cheek. His smile was tinged with sadness as he spoke, "I want you to know what you're stepping into." She tilted her head, leaning her cheek into his palm and fought the urge to roll her eyes as she looked at him, "Aaron, I was well aware of what I was getting into the first time." He chuckled softly and nodded, "Yeah, and look where that got us." He sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she felt her eyes begin to sting. She quickly shut them and shook her head slowly, "Aaron, I…"

Her words were silenced as he pressed his lips to hers, soft and patient; his hand moving to the side of her neck and holding her there as he swallowed her surprised gasp with his mouth. He pulled back a fraction of an inch when it became necessary to breathe and brushed her nose with his. Soft pants filled the car and she listened to them both breathe in and out. One always a breath ahead of the other. Her mind raced with thoughts of why this was a bad idea and how messed up everything was, but she melted into his touches and caresses. He pulled her close and pressed his lips to her ear, "Just think about it, Emily." Her eyes stayed shut as her mouth opened slightly, her hot breath dancing across his neck, "Okay."

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><p><strong>AN: So, did it make up for the big fight in the last chapter? I hope so.**

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	5. 3x06 About Face

**A/N:** I need to extend a major major "THANK YOU" first and foremost to my reviewers (**bgreen0207, x-mj-x, charmony, BekaRoo, Fran24CM, HPforever-after, greengirl82, romiross, HGRHfan35)**! Thank you so much! I write for you guys. It's good to know you all are enjoying this piece.

Secondly, a HUGE thank you to my beta **X-MJ-X,** you make it so easy to write and post it. Thank you for having my back and for helping inspire so much of these little chapters. :)

_**This chapter will be a nice change for anyone who's been reading. It's a little fluffier and is accelerating the transition away from canon. :) Warning for the next chapter, it will be M rated, so no kiddie eyes.**_

**This one is based around 3x06- About Face.**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! ** I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go.****

**disclaimer in chapter 1.**

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><p><strong>"<em>Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in." - Andrew Jackson<em>**

He was screwed. Royally screwed. Two days, two god damn days; Rossi had been with him for two days and had figured out the situation with Haley. He sighed and sat down in his chair, his head dropping into his hand and fingers massaging his temple. JJ, Reid, Garcia, none of them knew about Haley, and one of them was a bonafide genius. He released a slow breath, counting backwards from ten and tried to control his frustration with the whole debacle. It'd taken him weeks to get the nerve to handle the Emily situation, and two weeks ago they'd finally decided it was worth exploring. Between then and now though, cases had come and gone, meetings had interrupted what could've been an actual second date, and they'd barely spent more than 5 minutes alone; and now there was a chance they'd be forced apart. He ran his hand through his dark crop of hair, shaking his head and cursing every deity he could think of for his terrible luck when a knock sounded on his door. He turned around and couldn't help the slight upturn at the corner of his mouth as she entered his office, leaving the door wide open behind her. She bit her lip and walked over, sitting down across from him and doing a poor job of stifling her grin, "So… David Rossi's taking over for Jason Gideon?"

He nodded and sighed, his arms crossing over his chest as he leaned back in the chair, "Could either go really well or really bad." She chuckled lightly and tilted her head, "Well, why don't you marinate on how Rossi's presence is going to self-destruct our team later? We're all going to grab a late dinner and drinks. You should come." He shook his head and opened his mouth to thank her for the offer, but the way she grinned shyly and shrugged, her body showing just how nervous she was suggesting it, caused him to pause. She leaned forward in the chair and licked her lips, "You don't have to, if you don't want to… but I'd…" she dropped her head speaking quietly, "I'd like it if you came with me. Us."

He stared at her, not really sure he had heard her right. She lifted her head and bit her lip nervously. His eyebrow lifted slightly as she smirked and shrugged. He felt his barely perceptible grin turn into a full blown smile and he cleared his throat, "Let me just finish up here." She nodded and sighed softly, her smile never wavering, "We'll wait for you." He nodded silently and watched her head back to the bull pen, ruffling Reid's hair and joining him, JJ and Morgan at the group of desks, immediately involving herself in the conversation. He was so involved watching the ease with which she integrated into their moment, that he missed Rossi's presence at his doorway.

"How long?"

Hotch's eyes darted to the man, eying him slowly before quirking an eyebrow at him, "For the second time tonight I find myself asking you the same question, Dave. What are you talking about?" Dave chuckled darkly and leaned against the door frame, nodding towards Emily, "How long, Aaron? Was this going on with her before Haley?" Hotch pushed out of his chair and pressed his palms against his desk, "What are you implying, Dave?" Dave held up his hands in a sign of surrender and stepped into the office, moving closer he spoke in low tones, "Look, Aaron, I'm going to be straight with you. I've been watching your team. _All of them_. I think we both know that having women like that around all the time can test even the strongest of wills." He looked out of the window eying the brunette and blonde agent before turning back to him, "I get it. I do. They're lovely, both of them, and I think we both know that I'd be happy to romance either one of them." He smirked lightly as Hotch's body grew tense and his eyes glared at him, "I just want you to think about this. Is she worth it? All of it? Losing your career, everything you worked for, to have her in your bed?" Hotch sighed and shook his head, "It's not like that." He grit his jaw and narrowed his eyes at his one-time mentor. Dave nodded and shrugged, "I've been in your shoes, Aaron. I don't want to see you or her have any trouble with the higher ups, especially Erin. If you aren't worried about yourself, think of her. You don't want to destroy _her_ career for a good lay. All I'm saying is, be careful."

Hotch's fist slammed on his desk, "Damn it, Dave. It's not… it's more than just that." Dave arched an eyebrow and opened his hands, gesturing for Hotch to elaborate, "You gonna share? Or do I have to ask her about it?" Hotch dropped his head and spoke down, towards his desk, finally admitting the complete situation to someone outside the relationship. "None of this is... It wasn't before things with Haley went South. She… _we _haven't been happy for some time." He sighed and ran his hand over his mouth for a moment before continuing, "She walked out; took Jack and left." He nodded towards the window, and couldn't help the small smile that formed on his lips, "Prentiss…" he watched her laughing at Morgan's teasing of Reid and shook his head, then turned back to Dave and shrugged, his grin widening, "_Emily _came after that."

Dave nodded slowly and gestured towards Aaron's hand, "You're still wearing your ring." Hotch dropped his head and stared at the band of gold, "At work, yes. I probably will, for a little while at least. As I told you earlier, my private life is not the same as a case. Therefore, I don't feel the need to share every detail with _everybody._" He sighed and turned the light off on his desk, "We're going out for dinner and drinks, the whole team. You should join us." Dave smirked and tilted his head, looking out at the team. Eying the women with a Cheshire cat grin. Hotch followed his eye line and chuckled softly, "Don't even think about it. I'm not going to have my team become a soap opera." Dave laughed softly and shook his head, "Then, I think I'll pass right now. Maybe next time." He nodded and walked to the door, before turning to him and smiling, "I think she's good for you."

Aaron's eyebrows knitted together as he stared at the elder agent and Rossi chuckled, tucking his hands into his pockets, "When I saw you last, you looked tired. Not so much anymore. She's good for you." He smiled and strolled out of Hotch's office, giving the unit chief a pointed look as he passed by the window and then disappeared from view.

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She'd done her best not to make it obvious that she'd been watching, but could tell that JJ's ever observant eyes were taking in the entire scene with a keen sense of scrutiny. She didn't even bother feigning surprise when JJ nodded for her to move away from Morgan and Reid. The brunette and blonde gathered across the bull pen, JJ immediately resting a hand on Emily's elbow and glancing at Hotch's office, "What happened in there?" Emily rolled her eyes and chuckled softly, "_Nothing_ happened, Jayje. I invited him to dinner with us. He accepted and I left." She leaned in closer and smirked, "You need to know though, I'd like to know what Rossi had to say. Two private conversations in the span of 10 minutes? God! What I wouldn't give to have been a fly on the wall in there..." Emily tsked her tongue and gave a subtle shake of her head eying the door with wanton curiousity. JJ couldn't help the soft giggles that erupted from her and she shook her head, "I don't know, Em. I do not get a good vibe off him. There's something he's not telling us."

Emily's eyebrow rose as she stared at her friend and she smirked, "Trying to take my job? Going to become a profiler, Jayje?" She ducked the blonde's hand as she swatted at her and nudged her playfully, "I don't know. I think you're just avoiding the obvious. I caught him staring at you once or twice during the case; and not in a professional manner." JJ's unladylike snort came out louder than she planned and she shook her head in laughter, "He's been staring at anything with T&A, Emily. You just haven't been paying attention to it. Your attention has been focused elsewhere." She smirked and nodded towards Hotch's office, "Pot. Kettle." She gestured between them and smiled warmly, "We've already had this discussion, Emily. I'm not going to there again…"

The women's attention was pulled from their conversation as Hotch emerged from his office, briefcase hanging from his shoulder. He jogged down the steps briskly and headed over to the group, his eyes meeting Emily's for several seconds and a hint of his dimple emerging at the eye contact. He gestured for them to come back to the group and sighed lightly, "What's the plan for tonight?"

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He didn't know what was making tonight less enjoyable; Watching Reid dance or trying to keep his hands off of Emily. She'd shed her jacket and was relaxing in her work shirt, beer in hand as she spoke animatedly with Garcia and JJ, and she looked radiant. That glow he'd seen when he'd asked her to give him a chance was back and he wanted nothing more than to grab her and drag her away from the rest of the group. He took a long sip of his beer and leaned back in the booth the team was situated at. His eyes moved over to the bar, watching Morgan work his game on some blonde girl, who for lack of a better word, looked like a bimbo. Anyone could tell how his night was going to end. Reid was… Hotch tilted his head as he watched the young doctor out on the dance floor and narrowed his eyes, what was Reid doing? He tilted his head further to the side; on second thought, he didn't really want to know what Reid was doing, he was just happy he wasn't anywhere near it. He shook his head and released a slow breath, why had he agreed to tonight?

A warm hand on his knee, followed by a gentle squeeze caught his attention and he turned his head, almost nose to nose with his brunette agent. She smiled and nodded to the dance floor, "I don't know, but I think someone needs to take a pencil over there." He furrowed his eyebrows and she chuckled softly, "When someone's seizing you put a pencil in their mouth so they don't injure their tongue, Hotch." He nodded and looked at the dance floor once more before nodding, "If anyone could use that fact of knowledge it'd be Reid." She laughed softly and squeezed his knee again as he lulled back into silence, staring at his beer bottle, "You okay over here? You have that silent brooding thing going on."

He smirked and eyed her slowly, "_Brooding thing_?" She nodded and slowly glided her hand up his thigh, resting it on the center of the strong muscled limb, "Mhm. I mean, at work, it's sexy as hell, but right now... not really the face I was looking forward to seeing." He chuckled and glanced down at his thigh and then back at her, "How much have you had to drink?" Her head dropped back as she laughed riotously at his question, shaking her head and covering her mouth with her hand as she calmed down. She leaned her shoulder against his and smiled wickedly at him, "Am I making you nervous?" He gulped slightly as her hand slid to his inner thigh and moved upward, while she cooed softly to him in a teasing manner, "Is wittle Aaron afwaid of the big bad Emiwy?" He snorted softly and shook his head slowly, "No," he dragged out the 'o' as he guided her hand back to the center of his leg, before continuing, "Aaron's afraid that Emily may do something she'll regret later."

Emily smiled warmly and sighed, "Well, to be fair, I haven't had nearly enough to do anything I'll regret." He nodded and licked his lips, he looked around for the rest of his team, to ensure no one was going to see something that they shouldn't and was surprised to find that they were the only two remaining members at the table. She turned her torso and pressed her chest to his side, "So... Garcia's gone. JJ's gone. Morgan obviously found his little playmate for the night, and Reid is…" She sniggered and shrugged, "Being Reid." She dropped soft suggestive butterfly kisses up the side of his neck as she continued her thought, pressing a more insistent kiss just under his ear as she finished, "So that… leaves… us."

He turned his head to her and raised an eyebrow, "Emily, I don't want to pressure…" Her lips pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth and she pulled back with a sweet smile, "You're not. I asked you to come out, and I'm inviting you back to my place tonight." She chuckled softly as he raised his eyebrows, "Not like that, Aaron. We've just been…" she shook her head and slid her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, "How often do we get opportunities to spend time alone like this, Aaron?" He grinned and nodded, leaning into her and pressing his lips to her cheek in a chaste kiss, "You're right. Let me settle our tab and we'll go."

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He'd forgotten how good this felt. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, keeping her tucked into his side as they sat on her large couch, just talking quietly, intimately. He smiled as the fingers of one of her hands toyed with the hand that was keeping her tight to him. She smirked as she looked up at him and bit her lip, "You going to tell me what Rossi said that made you snap earlier?" He looked down at her, surprise painting his handsome features and chuckled, "You heard us?" She rolled her eyes and gave his hand on her shoulder a gentle squeeze, "I heard the sound of your fist hitting your desk. I'm going to assume that was an angry gesture, and again ask, what did he say to set you off?" She smiled warmly and shifted herself to straddle his thighs, her hands on his shoulders. She tilted her head and ran her fingers through his hair, massaging his temples lightly as his eyes slipped shut. He sighed and licked his lips nervously, holding her waist gently, "He was talking about you. He figured out about Haley and then… I don't know. He figured us out."

Her fingers stopped their motion and he opened his eyes, meeting hers and felt her body tense up. He rubbed her sides and shook his head, "Don't do that. Don't start pulling away from me." He moved his hands to her elbows and squeezed gently, "He's not going to say anything, Emily. In fact, he actually thinks you're a good thing in my life. He just thinks we need to be careful." He smiled and reached up, his fingers gliding into her raven locks and guiding her head down to his, he smiled against her lips and kissed her softly before pulling away, "He also mentioned that he thinks you're lovely and that he was thinking about pursuing you or JJ." She giggled softly and brushed her nose against his, "Well, JJ is more than aware of the fact that he's a womanizer, and I'm not interested in him. I have my eye on another BAU agent."

He raised his eyebrows, playing along and maneuvered her to lie on the couch, with him hovering above her, his weight supported by his strong forearms, "Is that so, Agent Prentiss?" She nodded and hummed her affirmation as she smiled up at him, laughter in her eyes. He pressed his forehead to hers gently and sighed as her hands rested on his back, "Anyone I know?" She gave his a playful peck on his lips and shrugged, "Maybe. He's tall, wears suits all the time, doesn't really smile much but I like to think he'd save that for when he's alone with me…" she smiled wider as his dimples emerged, "He has a son, that he obviously loves very much, there's only one thing that's bothering me about him."

He lifted his head slightly and quirked it, looking at her through narrowed eyes, "Do I want to know?" She bit her lip and cupped his cheek in her hand, "Well, see he's my boss and I'm just sort of nervous that he's not into me as much as I am him." His eyes immediately softened as he turned and pressed a kiss to her palm before dropping his head to hers and pressing her body into the cushions beneath her as he kissed her long and hard, determined to prove to her just how into her he really was.

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><p><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Thanks! :)<strong>


	6. 3x07 Identity

**A/N:** Wow. You guys, seriously, the reviews have been amazing for this. I want to send a HUGE thank you to my faithful reviewers (**x-MJ-x, charmony, HPForever-after, Rolfy, TigerLily888, fanficlover, FranCM24, HGRHfan35, greengirl82**). Your reviews really mean a lot to me, and I write for you guys. x-MJ-x will attest to the fact that I do actually get really excited everytime I hear from you guys. So thank you so much.

_****Reviewer number 50 will get a one-shot of their choice from me. :)****_

To** x-MJ-x** and **greengirl82**, Thank you both so much for everything you did for this chapter. Your inspiration has been incredible, and **Michelle**, thank you SO much for beta-ing for me right now. It's really appreciated and you know you're a valued part of this. :)

This chapter is set after episode **3x07 "Identity". **As with all other chapters, there are no real spoilers, but please be aware that **this chapter is M-RATED** and is not meant for kiddie eyes. I was adding and deleting to this all day Thursday trying to make it absolutely perfect. I hope you all enjoy. Also, please no flames. I know the characters are slowly becoming less canon. That's the point. It's fanfic.

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** _I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always appreciated. You can ask** greengirl82,** if you send me ideas or prompts I am always willing to try to incorporate them into things.

**Disclaimer in chapter 1. **

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><p>"<strong>There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love." - Unknown<strong>

The sound of the hotel door slamming echoed down the empty hallway. Anger and frustration bubbled through his chest as he tugged his tie off and tossed it and the suit coat he'd already shed in the elevator, on his go-bag. He sat down on the edge of his bed and ran his hands through his hair, fisting them in the short strands and letting out a strangled growl at the situation. As if dealing with the local militia and the stigma of Ruby Ridge wasn't enough to deal with right now, he still had to face the fact that Dave was keeping some massive secret from him regarding his surprising return to the FBI. In fact, this whole case had only served to fuel the 'us against him' mentality that seemed to be developing towards Rossi, and he had absolutely no idea how he was going to handle it. Dave had made it clear there was 'unfinished business' that brought him back to the FBI, and at this exact second, Hotch wasn't too keen on that whole idea. The longer he dwelled on the situation the more he felt his blood boil.

But right now, it wasn't the unsub, or militia, or even Dave that was bothering him. Right now, it was the faces of the women that were killed. Like many cases before it, the faces of the victims that Francis Goering took were going to haunt him. The way he brutalized them, tortured them, treated them like dirt; it was all going to plague him for the next few days. It was a given considering the job he did, but this case was different. This time around it was going to haunt him because they looked like her. They all were attractive, dark haired, Caucasian women; and he knew that every time he thought about this case, it'd be her face he'd see. He couldn't watch the video of what Goering had done; it would've made it even harder to focus. Somehow, in the short time they'd been playing at whatever was between them, he'd lost his grip on his feelings. He obviously cared for her as a team member, as a friend, and now, slowly, he was starting to care for her as a woman. She'd managed to come in and flip his world off its axis and he didn't even care, because it meant he had her. It was a fact that he couldn't ignore, and one that had been nagging at him the whole time. It was why he kept her so close to him during the case, kept his eye on her every chance he could, kept her near enough that he could step in if he needed to.

He sighed and rubbed his hand along the back of his neck, feeling the tense muscles ache with the movement. He wasn't sure what exactly these feelings constituted. He certainly felt strongly for her, and he knew that he'd have been lying if he said that she wasn't helping. As Dave had so eloquently pointed out, she was good for him, she kept him sane. More often than not, he'd found himself seeking salvation from her, seeking her embrace to help calm his demons, his nightmares. It amazed him that her touch, her voice, her presence seemed to calm all the chaos around him; he'd never had that in his life before. She made it all okay, even when things were going to hell in a hand basket. He shook his head and sighed loudly, silently admitting to himself that he, Aaron Hotchner, was falling for Emily Prentiss.

He fell backwards onto his bed and stared at the ceiling, allowing his mind to marinate on that. He didn't know how to feel about this whole realization. If someone had asked him how he felt, he would've had no words. Nothing he could think of could describe this moment in his head. Confused? Yes. Happy? Sure. Terrified? Most definitely. She was not the kind of woman that you ever recovered from. Emily Prentiss was a full package of a woman, and she wanted him. Baggage and all, she'd accepted him into her life. He closed his eyes and smiled as he crossed his hands under his head. How the hell had he gotten so lucky? All the crap he was bringing into this, and she still welcomed him with open arms. He glanced at the clock next to the bed and huffed.

_Ten o'clock. Too late to go see her?_

He chuckled lightly and sat back up. Calling on her at this time of night, while in a hotel room, would only lead to one thing and right now they were trying to take things slowly; which meant that going to her room and then making her scream his name in ecstasy was out of the question. He headed into the bathroom in his hotel room and turned the hot water on. Since going to her and seeking out her comfort was probably a bad choice, a hot shower would have to do. He untucked his dress shirt and quickly unbuttoned it, folding it in half and draping it over the back of a chair, as he grabbed a pair of sweat pants from his go-bag and headed into the bathroom.

He sighed as the hot water scalded down his back, soothing the muscles, and burning his skin just enough that it helped ground him. He dropped his forehead to the wall of the shower and breathed slowly, letting the shower wash away all the feelings of inadequacy, frustration and depression, his mind wandering to the woman two doors down and what she was doing right now. He shut the water off and toweled off throwing his sweat pants on and draping the towel around his neck as he headed into the bedroom to watch some TV and hopefully fall into a blank and dreamless sleep. Ten minutes into the plan a soft knock resonated through the space, and he slid off the comforter of his bed and walked to the door, opening it to find her on the other side. He took in her appearance slowly, wet hair, no make-up, sleep shorts, tank top and bare feet, before flashing her a hint of dimple.

She blinked up at the sound of the door swinging open and couldn't help staring at him. She had the decency to blush as his eyes moved over her but still allowed herself to trace her eyes up and down his nude upper half, her eyes drinking in the firm, lean runners body. She met his dimple with one of her own and spoke softly, "Hi."

He smirked and nodded with a light chuckle, "Hi there. Something I can do for you?"

She shrugged and gestured towards his room with her head, "Mind if I come in?"

He cocked his head and leaned against his door, close to her, speaking in low tones for only her to hear, "Are you sure that's such a good idea, _Emily?"_

She licked her lips and leaned in closer to him, "_Aaron_, if you don't move, I will physically push my way in."

He pursed his lips and shook his head, moving to the side to allow her entrance. She stepped into his space as he moved, her head turning to glance behind her and make sure the hallway was still silent, before she launched herself into his arms and kicked the door shut behind her. Her lips sought his out in frenzied, heated kisses; only taking what she needed in the moment and damning everything else. Her soft sighs danced across his mouth as his hands pressed against her back and held her tight to him as he pinned her to the door. Her shirt hit the floor moments later as she walked him backwards into the room and guided him onto his back on the bed, her mouth beginning a trail down his neck, her tongue circling his navel before flicking at the skin above the elastic band of his sweat pants. He groaned lightly, raking his fingers through her hair and shuddered lightly, forgetting everything they'd already decided about going slow. He fisted his hands in her damp locks and pulled her head to his roughly, his mouth branding hers as his possession.

His hands moved across and down her back, gripping her hips tightly and holding her down on top of his as he pressed his evident arousal against her, groaning her name lightly. She moved her mouth to his temple and whispered his name into his ear softly, before kissing down his neck and sucking at the hollow of his neck, leaving her mark on him. She pushed herself up onto her knees, straddling him to the bed, a smile gracing her face as she stared down at the glorious man beneath her. She kissed him again languidly before licking and nipping her way down his chest, her hands tugging on the waistband of his pants and slowly pushing it down before two hands on her shoulders stopped her movements and guided her back up to him. He rolled her beneath him, holding her down firmly with his hands and torso. He kissed her twice more before pulling back and sliding off the bed. He backed away from the bed slowly, holding one hand out in front of him and running the other through his hair before he sighed, "Emily…"

Their soft labored breathing filled the space as she looked at him with confused eyes and bit her lip, "Aaron, what are you doing?" She studied him from her spot on the bed and scooted to the edge, "Is something wrong? What's going on?"

He sighed and shook his head, "I don't want to cheapen this. I just want to…" he shrugged, "Hell, I don't know what I want." He turned and looked out the window of his hotel room, his hands planted on the air conditioning unit, his back facing her.

She dropped her head and crossed her arms over her bare chest, suddenly feeling way overexposed. She cleared her throat and lifted her head to look at him, "I'm going to be honest with you, Aaron. I didn't want to be alone. I'm sick of being involved with you and not being able to have you with me whenever the hell I want." His silence spoke volumes to her and she nodded silently, standing up and grabbing his dress shirt, she slid it on before moving quietly over to stand behind him, her body a breath away from touching his. Her hands ached to reach up and touch him, caress his back and pull herself to him. Her eyes caught his in the window's reflection and she smiled hesitantly as he looked at her in his shirt. Her eyes followed each curve of his back and arms before she finally let go of some of her restraint and put a hand on his shoulder, "Aaron, talk to me."

She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before giving in and letting her body hug his from behind as her head found his shoulder and she held him tenderly but tightly, not wanting to let go. Aaron stood motionlessly, his words failing him. The severity of his earlier realization hit him in the chest like a sledgehammer as he turned in her arms and pulled her tight to him. He buried his face against her hair and clung tightly to her, "I just don't want to screw this up again, Emily." He shook his head and ran a hand through her hair, "I don't want to screw everything up because we got lonely one night out in Montana."

She nodded and eased back from him, an arm's length away, "Do you want me to leave?"

He shook his head and swallowed the lump in his throat, his Adam's apple bobbing with the motion. He kept her tucked tightly into him as he guided her back to the bed and sat her down while he dropped to his knees in front of her. He entwined their hands in her lap and looked up at her, "We have so much at risk here, Em. I always thought that when we'd do this, we'd do it the right way."

She rolled her eyes and leaned her head forward, resting her forehead to his and chuckling, "Aaron, nothing about this has been done the 'right way'. When have we ever done things conventionally? Hell, even our team works in nonconventional ways." She brushed the tip of her nose against his and squeezed his hands gently, her fingertips caressing the skin tenderly, reverently, "I know we said we were going to move slowly and not risk this being discovered at work." She pulled back and met his eyes with a bit more confidence, "I know that was the plan, but I just… I needed to see you. I needed this; and plans be damned." She smirked, "Besides, I kind of like the challenge of having to be quiet so the team doesn't find out."

He laughed softly and shook his head, "You just keep making it harder and harder for me."

She practically purred her laughter as she leaned forward and kissed him gently, "Isn't that the point of the exercise?"

He pulled back from her, trying his best to give her a reproachful look, but knowing that the corners of his lips had turned upward, "Tease." He felt like they were walking on very thin ice, where an inch in the wrong direction could bring them both under to drown, and never break the surface again. But then her fingers would brush against his and the fears and doubts would scatter like bats in bright light. She was his light and all he could do was be absorbed in it. He sighed and gave in, moving up onto the bed and sitting with his back against the headboard. "C'mere," he nodded her over and accepted her into his arms, her head coming to rest on his chest as he stroked her back, "I've been thinking." Her soft hum of curiosity wafted up to him and he leaned down, kissing the top of her head gently, "We never really put a name to what this is we're doing here."

She lifted her head and stared at him, confusion written all across her features, "What?"

He smiled and smoothed his hand over her back, "This. Us." He chuckled as the confusion only seemed to grow for her and he shrugged, "Look, I know we've talked about your feelings on what's going on between us. If I haven't put those thoughts to rest, then please allow me to be frank right now."

She bit her lip playfully and shrugged, "I'd really rather you were Aaron, but if you want to role play, I'm all for it. If you're Frank, can I be Sylvia?"

He laughed lightly and shook his head, "Emily, I'm trying to be serious here."

She cleared her throat and nodded, putting a serious face on, but the corners of her lips still stayed upturned, "Serious, right. Yes sir." She mock saluted him and winked.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before leaning forward and brushing his lips against hers, "You mean a hell of a lot more to me than some rebound sex; and you mean more to me than just the occasional fling here and there. I care about you, Emily, in so many ways..." He kissed her again, more soundly this time and pulled back timidly, "I'm sorry, I'm horrible at this."

She laughed softly and captured his cheek in her hand, "Aaron, it's me. Just talk to me. I'm listening." She smiled warmly and let her thumb caress his cheekbone as he looked at her. He gathered his courage and took a deep breath, "Okay... I want..." he swallowed hard and licked his lips and started again in a more confident tone, "If you're up for it, I want us to try to be serious about this, each other. I want to go out with you _alone_ on dates, and I think, if we're going to be intimate, that this should be something exclusive."

She blinked in dumbfounded silence, "Seriously?"

He nodded and sighed, "I know I asked you to think about it and don't get me wrong, I enjoy the hell out of these little dates with the team that may or may not end with us cuddling and making out on your couch; but I want more. If things aren't working or if you're not happy, I'm willing to step back and let you see other people and let it be whatever you want, but I don't want us to be just casual sex or anything like that. If we're going to do this, I want us to try this completely. All or nothing."

She swallowed and gaped at him, "I don't… know what to say." She chewed on the side of her lip and dropped her eyes. She licked her lips and picked at her nails timidly as she thought about it, "Aaron, I don't... You are still married to her. You're still wearing your ring. How am I supposed to fit in to all this?"

He nodded and sighed, "Yes, okay, you're right... on paper... I am still married to her. God, Emily, I haven't felt married to her... we haven't acted like we were married to _each other_ in months... maybe even a year or two. I'm not asking you to marry me or move in with me; I just... I want to know that I have you, and I want you to know that you have me. Without stupid conditions and questions and all that mess." He licked his lips and tilted his head, "My ring..." he looked down at it, before slipping it off and setting it on the bedside table, "It's off. It's just a fixture." He held her eyes and shook his head, "I didn't know it bothered you. I kept it on to keep people from asking questions, but I..." he sighed and bobbed his head side to side, "I guess they're going to have to find out eventually, huh?" She closed her eyes and felt her lips turn upward as he caressed her cheek with his palm and thumb, "I know it's a lot to ask of you, Emily; asking you to accept everything I'm bringing to the table, but I think we can make something great here. It's your call though." He shrugged and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as her eyes blinked open and stared into his chocolate orbs, "Say yes, Emily. Say yes to me. To us." His eyes held hers as he swallowed nervously and took a slow, deep breath, praying that she would.

She took in his hopeful eyes, the tender way his fingers were caressing the side of her neck and her back and sighed with a slow nod of her head. He raised an eyebrow and she nodded more fervently. He smirked and kissed her forehead, his lips murmuring against her skin, "Say it, Emily. I want to hear you say it."

She closed her eyes and grinned, "Yes, Aaron. Yes, to all of it."

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She yawned in her chair on the jet the next morning. She'd stayed with Aaron for the majority of the night, talking about their new endeavor of a relationship, setting the ground rules, distracting him with the occasional make-out; and now she was exhausted. She had to admit, it felt glorious, knowing that the incredible man across from her was hers now, and that he'd been so eager to stake a claim to her. She didn't know who she owed a thank you to, but somewhere some deity was looking out for her. She'd really lucked out this time around. Aaron Hotchner was the romantic hero that every woman dreamed about; the intelligent, wildly sexy, alpha male with the heart of gold. He was everything that women fantasized about while still maintaining the ability to be human.

She smiled at him in the chair across from her, her legs tucked up against his side, his ringless hand resting tenderly on her ankle as he read case files. The rest of their team was wrapped up in their own little worlds, and right now, her world was being shared with the sinfully handsome unit chief. She smiled as he lifted his eyes and winked subtly at her before returning to his work. Those little looks were going to be the death of her. It pleased her to no end that she got to see this side of him, the tender side that no one else on their team saw. A flutter of excitement jolted through her body as she remembered his promise to her from the previous night; to take her home with him, to make her his, the right way. She closed her eyes against the back of the chair and slowly drifted off to sleep, reveling in the delicious little tidbit of knowledge that home was only a few hours away.

She awoke just over 2 hours later, as the plane began its descent and he squeezed her ankle tenderly, to alert her to drop her feet. She blinked her eyes open and stretched lightly, her legs dropping to the floor and her feet finding her shoes quickly as the rest of the team mulled about, gathering their go-bags and other files. She stood from her chair and accepted her go-bag from JJ with a large yawn that managed to sound like 'thank you'. She turned as a second set of hands grasped her bag tightly, and met his eyes with a small shy smile. His voice was low as he gave her a quarter smile and fully accepted her bag into his hands, "Let me give you a ride."

She nodded and smiled warmly, her eyes flickering with electric sparks, "Thanks, Hotch." She bit her lip timidly as she turned and headed off the jet, her raven-haired lover at her heels.

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She glanced at him as the vehicle moved towards their destination, watching the way the lights hit the contours of his face and taking in every detail. She'd always thought his rugged good looks and solid jaw were attractive, but even more-so now that he was hers. She wasn't all that surprised when they ended up in front of a building she wasn't familiar with. He was the chivalrous type, the man to move out of the house and make sure Haley and Jack were in familiar surroundings; while he'd go off to find an apartment. She took in the dark brick exterior and awning over the entrance to the building with trained eyes; classic and simple, just like the man next to her. She turned slowly to face him with a sly smile and raised her eyebrow playfully, "Agent Hotchner, this isn't my apartment."

He smiled and shook his head with a light laugh. She didn't play the dumb surprised woman well, but the playfulness in her eyes sent bolts of excitement through him. He nodded and reached over to her lap, taking her hand in his and giving it a small squeeze, "Very observant of you, Agent Prentiss." He leaned across the middle of the seat and grinned, "This is _my_ apartment." He kissed her languidly for several moments before pulling back and climbing out of the car. He grabbed their go-bags and waited for her by the hood of his car, a teasing smirk lighting his features. He smiled warmly as her hand slid into his and lead her into the building, and up to his apartment. He opened the door to the space and let her enter first, watching her walk around the newly furnished living room and then head into his den and disappear down the hallway to his bedroom. He dropped the bags down beside the couch and moved towards the bedroom silently. He sidled up behind her and gently slid his hands down her arms, kissing the back of her neck before wrapping his arms around her waist and pulled her back flush with his chest, "Enjoy your tour?"

She nodded and hummed her assent, her hands tracing his arms around her waist as she tilted her head slightly and let him continue his own private tour of her flesh. She whimpered slightly as he found her weak spot below her ear and used it to his advantage, marking her as she had marked him the night earlier. He turned her in his arms swiftly and held her tight to him as he claimed her lips with his while moving her backward towards his bed. She couldn't help but smile as she realized that kissing him was better than doing anything else; nothing could ever compare to the feeling she got in the pit of her stomach as his mouth settled over hers, as his tongue danced along hers, and his breath mixed with hers. He pulled back from her and ran his hand through her hair, "Emily, we don't have to…" her hand covered his mouth as she smiled, "I want to."

He nodded and traced her cheek gently as she reached for the tail of her shirt and started to tug it up. "Stop." He held up a hand and then sat down on the edge of the bed to get a better view. He looked her up and down, fire burning in his eyes, and nodded approvingly, "Okay, continue."

She rolled her eyes teasingly and lifted her shirt until her face was hidden momentarily. His eyes traveled her bare skin, collarbone to hips and he felt himself twitch with barely restrained eagerness. She slowly tugged the shirt the rest of the way over her head, then wiggled her work pants down and stepped out of them, a vibrant red bra soon joined them with a delicate plop. She stood in front of him dressed only in her panties and tilted her head, waiting for him. He got the hint and stripped down to his boxers in what seemed like three point four seconds. She smiled shyly as she placed her palms on her abdomen and slid them to her hips, just under the waistband of her panties.

"Wait."

She sighed and laughed lightly, "Again? Really, Aaron." Her tone teased but she did stop as he requested.

He smiled and tugged her between his spread legs, his face at her navel. He looked up at her and held her by her hips gently, "I want to unwrap this part myself."

It was wildly mind-blowing to her how different the man could be in private and as he pushed the final piece of her clothing down and pressed a tender kiss to her stomach, she couldn't help but be stunned at how lucky she was to get to have this version of him in her life. Slowly, he slid his palm up her thigh until he cupped her and massaged her until she moaned and gripped his shoulders tightly, her legs threatening to give way. She glanced down at him and felt herself stop breathing at the look she saw reflecting in his eyes. He slid his hands around to her lower back and pressed gentle kisses to both of her thighs, his hands holding her tightly and ensuring her stability. She couldn't help the soft giggle that escaped her as he leaned back and pulled her down to the bed, before rolling over on top of her and pressing his lips to hers while his hands explored. Their first time of this had been fast, needy and had lacked any of the finesse that he knew he should've given her; but this time he'd make damn sure she felt like jello by the time he was finished with her.

She reveled in the feeling of his arms around her and realized she didn't ever want to leave his arms; not ever again. Her body hummed with excitement form being this close to him and she savored every nuance of it. Almost afraid to move, lest she break the mood, she sucked in shallow breath after shallow breath while she let her eyes drift shut and gripped his shoulders tenderly as he nipped and sucked his way down her neck to her chest, staking his claim to every inch of the territory there and then continuing down her body, melting her with each kiss and deliberate lick of her flesh. She would swear that the things that man could do with his tongue turned her blood to fire in her veins. She urged him up to her with a gentle tug of his hair and smiled as he appeared in her plane of vision. She pressed her lips to his in an open mouthed kiss and shivered at the taste of herself on him. She traced her fingertip along his jaw line as she kissed him hotly and dragged her leg up his, pleasantly surprised to find he'd shed his boxers on his trip down her body and was now bare to her. Her hand slid around his hips gently and traced down his bare thighs with her short nails.

He hissed lightly and reached down to her hands, grabbing them in his own and pinning them to the pillows resting beneath her head, his mouth pressing against her temple as he murmured her name softly, while using his legs to guide her where he wanted her. She stared into his eyes as he tucked his body into hers, letting her take all of him inside her and groaning her name. She whimpered softly and squeezed his hands, now entwined with hers on the pillows as he began to move in slow, smooth deliberate strokes. He smiled at her and then kissed her lips and then the nape of her neck, before murmuring something unintelligible to her, her response a low moan.

He fulfilled her. She could never want more than him and would never be able to accept anything less than him ever again. He was the perfect match. She let the feelings of pure desire, pure delectable pleasure capture her. She tingled, body and soul, for this man. She wanted what he would give her, and she trusted him to give her everything she needed.

He continued to move inside her and she rode the thrill to the brink and back. Aaron was with her each step of the way, getting them as close as possible to the edge and then backing them away, dragging it out for as long as possible. She whimpered as she neared the cliff again, and reached around him and pressed him farther inside her, and he sucked in a quick breath at the added sensation. "Damn, Emily."

She grinned teasingly and chuckled breathily as he held that deep thrust for a moment. He kissed her hard before pulling his hips back, almost all the way and then thrusting deeper into her with a wicked smile, "Two can play that game." She gasped as he repeated the action over and over, and she whispered his name softly as she let the explosion take her, fire burning through her once again as she felt him buck against her several times more before growling her name against her skin. He finally stilled and panted against her shoulder, squeezing her hands tenderly and moving off of her, but keeping her tucked close to him as he spooned in behind her and pulled the blankets up over their bodies. His arm wrapped across her abdomen possessively as he kissed the back of her shoulder and and breathed in the scent of her hair. His lips curled into a wide smile as her fingers entwined with his on her stomach and she pressed back against him tightly, letting the warm afterglow settle in around them. Their fingers lazily brushed each others on her soft flesh and she blinked her eyes open, watching as his fingers tightened around hers and held her tenderly. For a brief moment, she wondered how Haley could have turned and walked away from this man, before selfishly wanting to thank her for doing so; because it meant he was free for her to take. His breath on her neck made her stir lightly and she hummed lightly as he cuddled her warmly.

"Mmm," she said after a while, nuzzling her head under his chin and smiling as she felt him brush his lips over her temple, "Mmm, yourself." He kissed her cheek gently and held her tight to him, "Stay with me tonight." She nodded her agreement and sighed contentedly, "Okay…" He chuckled and stroked her abdomen gently, kissing the back of her neck and murmuring his affection for her as she drifted off in his arms with a content smile painting her lips. He gazed down at her, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear and let the corners of his mouth turn upward at her soft even breathing. Yes, he was definitely falling for Emily Prentiss, and fast.

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><p><em><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	7. 3x08 Lucky and 3x09 Penelope

**A/N: **Oh my God you guys, WOW. That is all I can say about the feedback on got on the last chapter! So many reviews and so much amazing feedback. **solveariddle, charmony, HPForever-after, x-MJ-x, phoebe9509, Amaranth Moon, greengirl82, miaa29, Rolfy, HGRHfan35, krisphoenix, bgreen0207**; you guys stunned me with the incredible reviews and thoughts on the last chapter.

**Phoebe9509** was lucky reviewer number 50, and her one-shot will be posted by Sunday. I meant to have it up by today but my job got in the way this last week and some amazing opportunities have come up. :)

To **Michelle**, my lovely beta and friend, thank you SO much for everything you do for this story and for me. To **greengirl82**, for your continued inspiration, thank you so much!

**This chapter follows along the two episodes of ****3x08 Lucky and 3x09 Penelope. **You should be able to see where my bits fit in with the episodes. :)

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** _I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always appreciated. **Please note that the next chapter will be M rated, so be prepared! :)**

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1! **

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><p>"<strong>Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge, or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you." - Audrey Hepburn<strong>

She hadn't stopped feeling nauseous since they'd figured it out.

She could stare into the eyes of the worst criminals in the world and not flinch; but introduce cannibalism and all of sudden any control Emily Prentiss had over her stomach disappeared. She dry heaved into the jet's toilet once more, the force of the motion straining her ribs and causing tears to glisten in her eyes, before she flushed the toilet and wiped the corners of her mouth with a tissue. She splashed some cold water on her face and took a deep, calming breath before opening the door and jolting slightly. He was leaning directly across from the door, arms folded over his chest, eyebrows raised in concern.

"You okay?"

She sighed and closed her eyes, tilting her head and licking her lips. She shook her head slightly and laid a hand over her flat middle, "Just a little queasy."

She looked up at him and let one corner of her mouth quirk upward, "Makes me wonder if I should look into vegetarianism. No potential human flesh consumption."

He flashed her a dimple for a moment before it disappeared and was replaced with his regular stoicism, "We should get you some ginger ale and crackers. It might help settle your stomach."

She raised an eyebrow and smiled as he shrugged, "It worked for Haley when she was pregnant with Jack."

Emily's soft chuckle filled the small space they occupied as she reached forward and rested her hand on his forearm, her thumb stroking his skin gently, "I'm just upset from the case, Aaron. I'm not pregnant. Nor do I expect to be pregnant anytime in the foresee-able future." She smiled warmly as her hand slid into his and uncrossed one arm from his chest. She tugged him closer by their joined hands and kissed his cheek gently, "Thank you for the concern, though. This knight-in-shining armor act is kind of sexy on you."

He chuckled and pressed his forehead to hers, "It is, huh?" She hummed her agreement as he pressed his lips to hers gently. He tucked his body in behind hers, his hands resting on her shoulders as he guided her to the bench seat in the back of the jet andlaid her down on it; his suit coat bunched up and acting as her pillow. He knelt down next to her head and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

Her eyes met his and she tucked her lips into her mouth for a moment before cautiously reaching a hand forward and touching his cheek, silently mouthing 'thank you' before closing her eyes and curling her limbs close to her body as she sought to sleep on a pillow that smelled of her lover and coffee.

His body settled into the seat across the way from her, and he sat back, watching her sleep contentedly. The way the black lashes of her eyes fanned delicately over her soft alabaster skin, and the soft flush of her face as she dreamed made his stomach climb in his chest; she was undeniably beautiful and no matter how much he looked at her, he still could not not wrap his mind around how lucky he seemed to have become.

The soft pressure of someone taking the seat next to him, pulled him away from studying her and he nodded at the blonde taking the seat next to him. Her eyes danced between the two of them and she furrowed her eyebrows together, "I think everyone heard her throwing up a few moments ago. Is she okay?"

He nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat as he glanced back at her, "Yeah, she's fine. The case just… upset her stomach a little. She'll be okay." He nodded and sighed before turning back to the blonde, "Are you okay?"

She shrugged and tucked her feet up beneath her body, her head turning to look out the window into darkness, "I guess. I'm just… It never fails to stun me. People are capable of anything."

He narrowed his eyes at her in confusion and turned his body to face her more, "JJ?"

She kept her eyes out the window and scratched her forehead before running a hand through her hair, "It just sucks sometimes, Hotch. We're constantly surrounded by this darkness; I don't understand how you manage to stay so objective all the time."

He dropped his eyes and flicked a glance at the sleeping brunette across from them before looking up at JJ and giving her a rare glimpse of his quarter smile, "I try to find the light in my life when I'm not at work. You need to find that thing that doesn't seem to be affected by all this."

He sighed and his smile grew a little more, "Someone told me recently that part of being objective is being human." Memories of Emily speaking that line to him, desperately trying to make him understand came back to him as he looked at the blonde with soft eyes, "It's not easy, JJ. Hell, I'm still working through it, but you'll get there. You will. Just try to find something to keep you human."

JJ nodded and looked at him with glistening eyes, "Is it Jack and Haley?" He hummed his confusion and tilted his head at her question. She smiled and shrugged, "Your light. Is it Jack and Haley?"

He took a deep breath and released it slowly before giving a slow contemplative nod, "Jack's part of it."

JJ's lips pursed as she smirked at her unit chief with interest, "Can I ask what the other part is?"

Hotch raised an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes, "Just cause you ask, doesn't mean I'll answer."

JJ nodded slowly and tucked her lips into a tight line, "Got it. Topic dropped." She smiled warmly and sighed, "I'm going to go try to rest. Get some sleep, Hotch." She moved smoothly from the chair and headed over to the opposite side of the plane where Hotch could make out the form of a sleeping Reid, and Rossi and Morgan talking softly. He turned his heavy gaze back to the sleeping woman across from him before stretching his long legs out in front of himself, crossing his arms over his chest, and tilting his head back to rest on the back of the seat.

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The apartment felt empty.

They'd spent every free moment together since their decision to be serious about what was going on between them, and right now, as she entered her apartment alone, she realized how empty everything seemed without him. She dropped her go bag by the door and set her house alarm before heading into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water out of her fridge, taking a long swig of the cold liquid before leaning back against her counter and sighing. She looked around her, at the immaculate apartment that looked more like a spread out of Ikea than a lived in space and chewed the corner of her lip in thought. His place was no better, but at least it would eventually have signs of life; toys would end up squished between the couch seats, children's books would be mixed in on his shelves with his John Grisham novels. She licked her lips and finished her water before deciding that she was thinking way too much about the future. She headed up to her bathroom, leaving her cell phone on the counter and hopped into a hot shower, scouring away the case and her concerns, and just letting the scent of lavender and vanilla surround her. She emerged from the shower close to an hour later, the time having escaped her as she relaxed and groomed.

As she was finishing blow drying her hair her phone began to ring and she reached over and grabbed it. She smiled seeing his image come up on her phone and answered playfully, "You still at the office or did you want to meet up for some late night chow and sex?"

Silence answered her and she looked down at the phone curiously and then pulled it back to her ear, "Aaron?"

His sigh sounded loudly through the phone and she felt her stomach tense, "Aaron, what happened? Is everything alright?"

She was grabbing clothing and getting dressed faster than she ever had before, as he spoke, "Emily, Dave's on his way to come get you."

She froze in mid-motion and took a deep breath, "Why?"

She could picture him, hand on his hip, coat pushed back and pacing in his office as he spoke, "Gar… Penelope was shot tonight. They called me as her supervisor… she's on her way to the hospital; we all are. I sent Dave for you. He should be there shortly."

She dropped onto her bed in shock, her eyes staring straight ahead but unseeing as she tried to wrap her mind around it, before his words settled in, "Aaron, I can drive."

He cleared his throat and sighed, "I'd rather have him come get you. I know you and the girls are close. I don't want you or JJ driving right now. You wouldn't be able to focus and I don't think the team could handle being down two members…" she dropped her head and ran a hand through her freshly dried hair as he took a moment before continuing in a low soft tone, "And I know I couldn't handle something happening to you right now, so just get in the car with Dave and I'll see you there."

She couldn't help the sad smile that grew on her face at his admission before he hung up. She grabbed a blazer and her purse and rushed down to meet Dave in her parking lot, not wanting to waste any time in getting to where she was needed most.

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It was all a blur.

The last 4 days had been nothing but a solid blur of quick showers, quick changes, drive-thru or carry-out food, quick naps, and hospital visits. He gripped the two large cups of coffee from Starbucks in his hands as he approached the conference room at the BAU. He couldn't stop thinking about the terror on his team's faces as they sat in the waiting room, the guilt that had been eating at Morgan these last four days was slowly starting to seep into all of them and he knew that right now, that was the last thing they needed. He stepped into the conference room and smiled, seeing the brunette woman sitting at the table, her hand supporting her head. He would've thought she was reading if it wasn't for the soft heavy breathing he heard being emitted from her plump red lips. He walked over quietly and set the coffees down on the table in front of her, before resting his hands on her shoulders and shaking her lightly, his thumbs rubbing the base of her skull.

She blinked her eyes open and smiled when she saw the coffee and smelt his cologne from behind her. She groaned and dropped her head back, enjoying his caresses for a moment before shrugging her shoulders, signaling for him to release her. He quirked a smile at her as he grabbed his coffee and sat down next to her, "You okay?"

She nodded and reached for her coffee, taking a sip and humming her appreciation. Her eyes met his, glowing in gratitude, and her lips curled into a slight smile against the plastic lid before she took another sip. She set the cup down and shrugged, "I'm just frustrated. This whole thing is…" she ran a hand through her hair and shook her head, "I want to fix it. I want it to be over for her. Nobody deserves to be scared for their life like this. Feeling trapped like there's no place to go." She swallowed and looked to the ceiling, fighting to keep her feelings at bay. She licked her lips and closed that Pandora's Box in her head and looked at him, "I hate knowing that this bastard is out there and people are telling me I can't get him."

Aaron smiled and touched her hand resting on her knee, his thumb caressing her knuckles, "We're not going to let it stop us, Emily."

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, "I know that. I do, and I'd do anything to help her. I just… It's infuriating."

He nodded and squeezed her hand gently, his lips a thin line. He felt for her, knew how hard he'd take it if he was in her shoes and she was the one who'd been shot. His eyes darted to the door as Dave stepped in, cell phone up and jaw tight with concern. "We have a problem."

Emily's eyes lifted to the other male and she turned her hand under Aaron's entwining their fingers and gripping his hand tight as Dave took a breath and shook his head, "He went to her apartment. Shot a cop, tried to shoot Morgan. Went back to finish the job."

She felt Aaron's eyes on her as she squeezed his hand. She swallowed and grabbed her coffee, dropping his hand and stood, "I'm going over there."

Hotch nodded in agreement with her as she breezed past Dave in long purposeful strides. He followed behind her moments later with Hotch hot at his heels.

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She could've kissed him.

Right there, in front of the whole god damn team of BAU profilers, she could've kissed him; all because he was letting her stay with Penelope and be an active part of trying to catch the guy. He'd actually heard her. He was making an effort to please her. She turned to Garcia with a sly grin and set her hands on her hips, "Where's your computer?"

Penelope smiled and pointed into her bedroom before letting Morgan help her up from the chair and heading into the room followed by the other two agents. Emily turned to the two men and raised an eyebrow, "I don't think so boys. Go entertain yourselves. She only needs one log-in at a time."

She sat down next to Penelope on the bed and leaned over, giving her everything she'd need to log into the FBI site as 'SSA Emily Prentiss'. She smiled at Pen as the confirmation screen came up and touched her knee gently, in a sign of trust. Penelope reached over and grabbed her hand gently, "Why are you doing this?"

Emily looked at her with confusion all over her face and shrugged, "We're a family, Penelope. This is what we do."

Penelope shook her head and nodded to her computer, "Why are you letting me use your name first? If we get caught…"

Emily smirked and squeezed Penelope's hand, "If we get caught, I'll take the heat for it. They're not going to fire me. They know the hell that would come down upon them if that happened."

She winked at her and slid off the bed heading into the living room and picking up one of the graphic novels on the table by Morgan. She smiled at him and punched his shoulder gently, "How you holding up?"

He sighed and ran a hand over his face, "It's killin' me. Her being here… like this. It's killin' me, Prentiss. I can't handle it."

She nodded and rubbed her hand over his upper back, "She's going to be fine. Come on, Morgan, she has a team of FBI agents looking out for her; and it's the best team." She shrugged and patted his back tenderly, "You did good. Playing rouge cop and all."

He chuckled lightly and she smiled at him before opening the graphic novel and beginning to flip through it, barely processing anything that she was reading as she listened to the incessant typing in the next room, followed by little mutterings from their tech savvy blonde cohort.

Morgan's eyes lifted from the volunteer sheets he was reading at her mutterings as he leaned around trying to see into the bedroom, "What is she doing in there?"

Emily turned another page on the novel and kept pacing in the form of a figure eight, "Do you really want to know?"

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Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach as the live video of the BAU came up on Garcia's screen.

He was there, in their office, where just hours prior Aaron thought Garcia would've been safe. Then it hit her, like a freight train of concern, Aaron was in the BAU. She watched the footage unfolding with her jaw slack, Morgan's call to Aaron and subsequent call to JJ just white noise as she watched things unfolding live in front of her with wide brown eyes. Her breath hitched for a moment before she was able to speak, "He knows they know."

"This is crazy. We gotta get over there."

She grabbed her coat and helped Penelope into her shawl as they group rushed to get back to the BAU. Her blood pounded in her ears as they climbed into the vehicle and began to race towards the BAU. She jolted slightly as her phone buzzed to life and grabbed it, seeing his name flickering on the screen she answered as professionally as she could, "Hotch?"

His voice spoke over the phone in cool calming notes, but as he surveyed the chaos around him in the BAU, he couldn't help but smile at the worry in her voice, "It's over. We got him." She sighed loudly in relief, and dropped her forehead into her hand, "JJ?"

He cleared his throat and licked his lips, "Yeah. She took him out. How did…"

She bit back the smile that wanted to blossom on her lips and interrupted him, "Garcia got the live feed from the cameras. That's how we knew he was in the BAU. We're on our way."

She hung up and looked at the occupants in the car, "JJ got him."

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Domesticated.

Not really a word he'd ever thought to associate with her, but tonight as she unpacked the boxes from the Chinese place on his counter top and dished out a little of everything onto two plates, it was the only word he could think of. He padded softly down the hall, removing his tie, jacket and work shirt on the way and laid them all over the back of chair in the room, before undoing his belt and pants. He was just reaching into the closet to grab his sweatpants when two small, warm hands rested on his lower abdomen and slipped under his shirt, pressing softly against the skin there. He smirked and looked over his shoulder at her, her eyes playfully tracing his state of undress, "I thought you were in the kitchen."

Her eyes returned to his as she grinned like a Cheshirecat, "I gathered as much."

He grinned at her dry tone and rested his hands over hers on his stomach, "So what are you doing in here?"

She pressed a kiss to the back of his arm and looked up at him with warm eyes, "I've been alone like that all week. Can I help it if it I wanted you to stay with me?"

He chuckled and looked around them, "I didn't leave, Emily."

She smirked and then eyed his body again, "And to add insult to injury, you started the peep show without me. I should just leave right now to punish you for that."

She slid her hands from his skin and turned to leave the room. He turned and grabbed her before she could take another step and pulled her back to him, his arms wrapping around her tight and his mouth pressing warm kisses over her neck, "You're not going anywhere, Agent Prentiss. That's an order."

She tilted her head to his and chuckled softly, "Agent Hotchner, I.."

He laid a finger against her lips. There was no smile on his mouth. He looked intent and determined and very hungry. He slid his hand into her hair and cupped her head, stepping close to her and leaving barely any space betweenthem. And then he kissed her.

He knew he should pull back, but damn, she tasted good. He knew he should let her be able to catch her breath but she merely stood there and gave him free rein over her. His mouth slanted over hers again, then he lightly coasted his tongue over her bottom lip. She groaned, and he felt a pang of arousal shoot straight through him.

He leaned back and stared down at her face. Her dark brown eyes were half closed, the thick, long lashes seeming to weigh them down. Her lips were still parted and her cheeks were flushed. He almost felt his chest puff in manly pride that he was able to make this luscious creature in front of him look like that. She batted her eyes open and looked up at him, her jaw slack and her breathing coming in soft pants. He leaned his face close to hers and grinned, "You're not going anywhere, Emily."

She shook her head slowly, slightly disorientated by the kiss and smiled, "Nope. I'm gonna stay right here." He chuckled and turned her towards the door, swatting her backside lightly to nudge her to move, "Go get comfortable on the sofa, I'll be right out."

She sauntered out of the room playfully and almost danced for joy when she got back to the space with the TV and sofa. She stared at the plated food and sighed, before sitting down and popping a couple of the buttons on her shirt open. If he was going to undress and get comfortable, there was no reason why she shouldn't either. She pulled her long hair up into a ponytail, exposing her neck for him, and kicked off her heels. She wasn't short by any stretch of the imagination, but the three inches those boots tacked onto her five-foot-eight-inch frame were nice to have. Especially when the man she was dating was over six-feet tall. She leaned back on the couch and waited for him to emerge, smiling as he finally did so in sweatpants and his plain white undershirt. She opened her arms to him as he moved to sit down by her. She tugged him over her on the couch, her body stretching out beneath his as she looked up at him and kissed him lightly.

He grinned and kissed the tip of her nose playfully, "Emily, sweetheart, the food is getting cold."

He watched her eyes twinkle for a moment as she stared up at him, her smile growing, "Sweetheart?"

He shrugged and kissed her gently, "What? Have people stopped giving pet-names to their lovers?"

She shook her head and chuckled against his lips, "I just never pictured you as the nickname type, _honey_."

He narrowed his eyes at her as he pulled his head away from hers, "Mocking me?"

She shook her head and giggled softly, her hand reaching up and caressing his cheek before sliding back into his thick crop of raven hair, "No, no. Not at all. It's just different, seeing you like this. It still surprises me."

His lips tilted to one side as he grinned and rested down onto her more, his firm frame pressing hers into the couch, "I like surprising you." He rested his forehead to hers and sighed deeply, "I don't know what I would've done if it had been you." He kissed her gently and shifted his weight onto one arm, the other hand reaching up and capturing her cheek, his thumb brushing her cheekbone softly, "This is still all so new; but I… I don't know what I would've done if you were the one that got shot."

She turned her face in his hand and kissed his palm. She wrapped her hand around his wrist gently, holding onto him and reaffirming him, "Hey, nothing's going to happen to me, and it's certainly going to take a lot more than some psycho with a gun for me to leave you." She smiled and stroked his wrist as she bit the corner of her lower lip before smirking and licking her lips, "What do you say, we forget dinner… and catch up on 'us'?" She pressed her body to his and slowly slid her leg up against his, her thigh resting against his hip; her hips pressing against his provocatively as her lips brushed his, "I think we both need to be reminded how lucky we've been lately."

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><p><em><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	8. 3x10 True Night

**A/N: **I'd like to start this as I always do and thank my reviewers for the amazing reviews you all sent my way. **Charmony, Tigerlily888, tigerlily02, GibbsIsMyGod, HPForever-after, greengirl82, x-mj-x, and HGRHfan35**; you guys have made me so happy. Thank you for your reviews and encouragement.

**Michelle**, as always, thank you for the amazing job beta-ing this little piece of work. You always know exactly what to say and how to say it. I love having someone to bounce it off of. :) To **greengirl82**, you know I always love getting those messages from you with what you want to see. It's so refreshing to get someone else's take on the episodes. :)

**This chapter is situated after** **3x10 True Night. **

**THIS CHAPTER IS M RATED. SO YOUNG EYES BEWARE.**

**_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** _**I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

****Disclaimer in Chapter 1!****

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><p>"<strong>I understand now that the vulnerability I've always felt is the greatest strength a person can have. You can't experience life without feeling life. What I've learned is that being vulnerable to somebody you love is not a weakness, it's a strength." - Elisabeth Shue<strong>

Something was wrong.

Something was very, very wrong. He had never seen her like this. He couldn't stop himself from staring out the window in his office, and watching her sitting at her desk, staring into space, a contemplative stare occupying her large brown eyes. He sighed and pursed his lips in thought before returning to his files. This case had been hard for all them. A man devolving because he'd been forced to watch the woman he loved being raped and murdered. He almost couldn't blame the guy. He signed off on yet another random file and dropped it in his outbox, before grabbing a fresh file and opening it.

"You know you're not like him right?"

His dark eyes lifted from the file in front of him and rested on the man standing at his office door. He shrugged, his arms crossed over his chest, as he knitted his brows together and his lips became a thin line. Aaron glared at the older man and shrugged, "Yeah, Dave. I know."

Dave snorted lightly and shook his head, "You know, you're as bad as that one." He nodded towards Emily sitting at her desk working and sighed, "You've been moping around ever since we solved the last case. I don't know what your problem is, but I can't help but think that it has something to do with feeling like you can relate to the unsub."

Aaron's eyes darkened as he stared at his colleague and tightened his jaw, "Dave, I am going say this once. Drop it."

He sighed and tilted his head, their eyes holding eachother'sas they stood at impasse. Aaron cleared his throat, finally conceding to him and dropped his head, returning to the file in front of him, "Thank you."

He watched him for a few short minutes before stepping away from the door and moving over to his desk, tugging the pen out of his hand and closing the file in front of him. He lifted his head, anger coloring his features as he set his palms flat on his desk, "Damn it Rossi, you better have a good reason for doing this."

He smirked and dropped the pen on Aaron's desk before sitting down across from him and folding his hands in his lap, "Don't push me, Hotchner." He leaned back in the chair and took a long, deep breath, "Have you noticed how bothered by this she is?"

Aaron sighed and nodded, his hand running over his face as he folded his hands on his desk, "Yeah. I know. I want to help her, I do. I just, I don't know how." He focused his intense gaze on his hands and swallowed hard, "I'm not good with this emotional stuff, Dave. I don't handle _this_ well. I want to be there for her, but I never seem to say the right thing. I can't seem to get a handle on how to make a woman feel better when she's…" he closed his eyes and shook his head, "I don't know."

Dave rolled his eyes, "She doesn't need you to talk, Aaron." He chuckled and leaned forward in his chair, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly, "How long were you married to Haley? You didn't learn this in marriage 101?"

Aaron's eyes lifted to Dave slowly, a hint of a smirk painting his lips as he shrugged, "Maybe that's part of the reason, it didn't work." He huffed lightly and continued, "How bad is she?"

Dave cocked his head, eying her with concern and pursed his lips, "Look at her, Aaron. You don't need me to tell you." He turned back to Aaron with a cautious look gleaming in his eye, "Aaron, I'm not trying to tell you how to do things, but I think she could use a long talk with someone who's good at listening," He slowly lifted himself from his chair and leaned towards Aaron conspiratorially, "And I think it would mean a helluva lot more if it were you."

He looked back down at her, taking in her broken features and heaved a sigh as the older man left him alone to his thoughts. He watched the steady riseand fall of her chest as she stared into nothingness and shook his head. This had to stop. She was the last one he wanted to see feeling like this, and quite frankly, the last person he'd ever imagine would feel like this. Mustering up all the courage he could find, he pushed away from his desk and headed to his office door.

"Prentiss."

Nothing.

He narrowed his eyes slightly and called her name a second time, his jaw tightening at her still silence and unfocused eyes. He trotted down the stairs leading from his office to the bullpen and moved over to her desk, ignoring the curious eyes that followed him. Dave had made several valid points and Aaron felt like a legitimate jackass for letting this go on as long as it had. He stopped his brisk walk at her desk and turned her chair around. He reached out and shook her shoulders gently, his voice low and calm, "Emily. Emily, it's Hotch."

Her eyes refocused on him as he loomed over her and she blinked in confusion for a moment before shrugging his hands off of her and looking around, finally noticing that the stares of people in the bull pen were all focused on her. He stepped away from her and nodded to his office, "We need to talk." She dropped her head with a sigh and nodded, glaring at Morgan's soft snicker and comment about 'someone being in trouble' as she followed him.

The door clicked shut behind her and she stayed stationery in the room, her back facing the door as he shut the blinds to his office and locked the door, giving them the utmost privacy for the time being. He stepped up behind her and guided her over to the sofa in his office, before sitting down next to her and taking her hands in his.

"Emily, we need to talk." Her eyes stayed focused on their joined hands and he gave them a warm squeeze before pushing her a little, "What's going on in that head of yours?"

She shrugged and lifted her eyes to his, "Was he so wrong?"

Aaron swallowed and opened his mouth to speak, but words wouldn't come. He huffed out a breath and dropped his eyes, "Sweetheart, he killed a lot of people."

She nodded emphatically and scooted closer to him, "No, I know that. I know. I just… He was doing exactly what I would do. If someone hurt the person… people… I love… I'd do it too. Whatever it took to make sure they knew that I wasn't going to let them get away with it."

He sighed and reached up, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and tracing her cheekbone with the pad of this thumb, "Should I be worried?"

He studied her face and let his thumb drag over her lips as he continued, "Should I be worried about this affectingyour view on future cases?"

She shook her head slowly, tears rimming her dark eyes as she licked her lips and shrugged, "It just sucks. The guy couldn't catch a break."

She took a slow, deep, deliberate breath and smiled weakly at him, "Would you do it?"

His dark eyes met hers and he barely let her finish the question before he answered, "Absolutely."

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She'd never felt this comfortable with anyone before him.

Not that she often let anyone into her inner circle, but men in particular, were a sore spot for her. Her track record was a step beyond disaster and she was still sort of blown away at the fact that things with Aaron hadn't imploded yet. She hated to be pessimistic about the whole thing, because he was probably the best thing that had happened to her in countless years; But she still couldn't shake that feeling that something was going to explode in her face. She shook her head, trying to get her mind off that track and focus on the decision at hand: red or white.

She chewed her lip lightly as she debated back and forth on the choices, before finally deciding to say 'fuck it' and grabbing both. She headed back into her living room, grinning at him leaning against her couch with a box of half-eaten pizza on the floor next to him. She held up the two bottles of wine and shrugged, "I couldn't remember which one you liked better so I brought both." She set them down next to him and handed him the opener, resigned to the fact that he wouldn't allow her to do anything.

After their moment in his office, he'd allowed her to return to her desk but insisted that at 6 PM, they were both leaving work and spending the rest of the night together. She'd laughed and agreed, never fully expecting him to follow through, but at 6 PM sharp, there he was leaving his office, briefcase in hand. She'd watched him leave, calling out a goodnight to the team and sending her a ghost of a smile; she'd waited for all of 10 minutes before she'd packed up and left as well, pinning it all on her foul mood over the last case. By the time she'd arrived home, he was already inside, having used the key she'd given him for emergency purposes, and setting up the pizza on her living room floor.

Little things like that, were the ones that she was starting to grow comfortable with. She loved that who he was in office was a complete other human being from who he was outside of it. It was so much easier to appreciate him as a man; but damned it all, it also made her fall in love with him even more. Their whole relationship had put her in a place that confused the hell out of her. She'd always wanted to be the fall in love, settle down, have kids kind of woman, but a part of her, the independent woman side, had always clung to the love of being single and not having a man around to define her. Somehow, in the time they'd been together, all of that had been turned on its ear. She was suddenly looking at a man in her life, who was already a father and had already been a husband; granted that relationship had crashed and burned and he wasn't all that close with his son, but he was tried and true. Suddenly, all the things she'd dreamt of happening 'once upon a time' were fluttering around in her head again. It wasn't a bad thing necessarily, but it certainly had her questioning herself and if she was changing.

She accepted her wine glass with a shy smile and took a long sip, needing to distract herself from thinking and just remind herself that this was going to go one day at a time. She turned and looked at him, finding that he was watching her with darkened eyes. A faint blush rose across her chest and neck as she watched him watching her and she shifted slightly, tucking her legs under her body as she looked away from him, an awkward silence taking over. She wasn't exactly sure what to say right now. Her dark eyes stared out ofher large wall of windows and she smiled, "There's a full moon tonight."

He smirked and kept his eyes on her, leaving the remnants of the pizza forgotten he scooted closer to her and settled behind her, his arms wrapping around her shoulders as he looked out the window with her.

"Like it?" She nodded slowly and relaxed back into his chest, her head tilting against his, as he nuzzled her cheek lightly, "I ordered it in advance."

She chuckled softly and hummed her contentment, "I guess you get everything you want then, huh?"

He shrugged and brushed his lips over her temple, "For the most part."

She turned to face him and stared at him for a long moment, her heartbeat sounding loudly in her ears in anticipation. Anticipation could ignite her blood to unparalleled heights where Aaron Hotchner was concerned. At times, she was acutely aware, anticipation could lead to disappointment; but that was never the case with him. She knew what he was capable of, and there was nothing that he couldn't, and wouldn't, do with her.

He moved towards her with slow, predatorily precise movements, before effectively pinning her back against the couch and dropping hot kisses down her neck. Her eyes slammed shut as he breathed over her long neck and left a subtle mark under her ear. "I have the career I've always wanted, an incredible son that I really don't think I deserve…"

Her breath hitched as he paused and she panted lightly, he wasn't even touching her yet and she felt like her skin had been ignited by sparklers. She shivered and wet her lips as he kissed her temple and spoke against her skin, "And now, I have you."

Her body nearly crumpled at his admission and her arms reached out, gripping his back and shoulders hard as his mouth settled on hers and willed her to bend to his every whim. She groaned softly as he eased her down onto the rug and leaned over her. She'd never really been a classic film buff, but suddenly the classic scene in _From Here to Eternity,_ of the two lovers lying on the beach lost in one another's embrace and kissing, flashed through her mind. She lost all coherent thought as he slowly undid each button on her shirt, before finally ridding her of the object and moving his mouth down her neck to her chest, continuing to worship and pleasure her.

Her bra soon joined her shirt, discarded somewhere in the room as he licked and nipped at her soft flesh, branding her with his mouth and tongue. She trembled slightly as she felt the imprints of his mouth, lips, and tongue. On her lips, throat, skin; trailing down and over her breasts and stomach.

Everywhere.

She felt fireworks, explosions, rocking her body; making her weaker one moment and then making her stronger the next. Every single nerve ending she possessed was one fire right now. She wasn't sure when he'd managed to strip her of all her other clothes but she was most certainly aware that she was now bared to him, his hands and mouth assaulting every inch of her body and raising her pleasure levels to unbelievable heights. She gasped as he memorized her body and claimed her as his own. Her palms smacked hard into the carpeted fibers and she fisted her hands in them tight as his name echoed around the room; bouncing off walls and furniture and reverberating back to her ears, almost sounding like someone else's voice completely.

Lifting his head he looked up the length of her body, sprawled out on the floor, her body begging for him. His eyes traced her face and he smirked, loving that she looked like that because of him and his actions. Eyes closed, cheekbones damp, chest still heaving, and hair mussed. He kissed her firm stomach, loving the intimacy they had discovered in each other, loving…

His heart damn near stopped.

He looked up at Emily again, seeing her dark eyes focusing in on him, and he felt a flutter in his chest. Her eyes watched him watching her in sated amazement and something else- something more that both put him at ease and unsettled him in equal measure. He stopped breathing for a moment as that four-letter word fluttered around in his mind. Was he… in love… with her? Eternity seemed to nestle into each moment that he looked at her, taking a rapid accounting of every moment he'd spent with her, his stomach lurched lightly in surprise.

He was.

He was stone-cold, head over heels, in love with her. Her hand reaching up and caressing his cheek brought him back to reality. Her eyes were wide and open with a slight gleam of concern at his silence. He grasped her wrist gently, pressing a kiss to her palm before leaning down and hungrily meeting his mouth to hers. This new revelation had inspired him. Being with her, it was refreshing and new. Excitement coursed through his veins as he hurriedly shucked his pants and shirt and leaned over her; her soft curves meeting the hardened planes of his body. He stared down at her and kissed her softly before guiding her to open to him.

He grasped her hands in his own and guided them above her head, lacing her fingers with his, he joined his mouth to hers again as he began to move himself into her. It was almost like making love for the first time. Not a first time with a new partner, but for the very first time. _Ever._

Holding onto him, Emily made soft sounds of pleasure and surprise, then deeper sounds of excitement and ecstasy. He lifted his head to look at her and saw the flush of her face, how her teeth sank into her bottom lip, her eyes squeezed shut and body rigid as she fought to keep control as he worked her into oblivion.

"Let go, Emily."

It was almost as if Aaron's soft command freed her. She softened her body on a moan, her body hugging his to hers tightly as she arched her chest into his. Thunder roared in his ears as he held onto her, continuing to push her through her climax before he succumbed to his own high and growled her name into her neck. They struggled for breath together in the moments after, and he tipped up her face and brushed his lips against hers, "Emi-"

Her mouth covered his gently as she arched upfrom the floor and pressed a pair of their joined hands over his heart. The corners of his mouth upturned against her lips as he moved off of her and cuddled her close, letting their afterglow take over them. It had been a long time since he felt this free of burden, this content with a woman. He broke the kiss and nuzzled her neck lightly, holding her close before murmuring about heading to her bedroom. She nodded her agreement, tossing him his boxers and grabbing his work shirt for herself.

He watched her head out of the living room in his shirt and grinned as she tossed a playful glance over her shoulder. His chest swelled with emotions for a moment because, right now, for however long this lasted, she was bringing him back from that dark, numb place that he'd been in, and he loved her for it.

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><p><em><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	9. 3x11 Birthright

**A/N: **I'd like to start this as I always do and thank my reviewers for the amazing reviews you all sent my way.** Green-Elphaba-Thropp, x-MJ-x, phoebe9509, charmony, HGRHfan35, HPforever-after, maggie06, greengirl82, tigerlily888, tigerlily02: **I know I wrote all of you to thank you, but again, I cannot stress how much I truly appreciate your reviews. You are all so amazing and I'm so thankful for each of the notes you drop me.

**Michelle**, you are truly one of my most treasured friends. Thank you for your incredible work as my beta and for being such an incredible friend and support in my life. You are so special to me and I cannot ever express how much all the encouragement you've given me has inspired me these last few weeks. :)

**greengirl82,** I think you know how much I appreciate you and the conversations we have. I love hearing from you and knowing that I am on the same page with one of my readers. :) I think you will be able to see the influence you had on this chapter.

**This chapter is meant to follow episode 3****x11 Birthright.**

**_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** _**I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

****Disclaimer in Chapter 1!****

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><p><strong>"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand." -Emily Kimbrough<strong>

She couldn't breathe.

She couldn't move.

She could barely think.

He breezed out of the office with the envelope tucked under his arm, and all she could do was watch; silently staring in shock. She felt her hands start to shake as the agents around her began buzzing about the papers he'd received. She'd known that this was coming, had known for weeks now, but it still hit her like a semi-truck. Disbelief pulsed through her system as she felt JJ shake her and ask her if she was okay. She nodded rapidly and turned around tuning into the conversation for a moment before realization dawned on her.

She excused herself and ran from the office, not bothering to wait for the elevator and heading down the stairs, taking them as quickly as she could. Her feet felt like they were barely touching the ground as she raced for the parking garage and finally caught up to him, jogging to a stop a few steps behind him and grabbing his arm, "Aaron."

He kept walking, shrugging her arm off and not turning around. Anger boiled through his veins as he stalked to his car in angry strides. She'd sent the papers to the office. If humiliating him had been her goal, she'd achieved it- and then some. He finally stopped at his car and whipped around, facing the woman who had stayed a few steps behind him and had continued to try to get him to open up.

"_What_ do you want, Emily?"

She tensed at his harsh tone and took a cautious step toward him, reaching for his free hand with hers and flinching slightly as he pulled his hand away and took a step back. She took a deep breath and shrugged, "I want to talk. About this. You shouldn't be alone right now."

He snorted and held up the envelope, "Clearly, alone is what this will make me."

She shook her head and fought the urge to reach for him a second time, "No, that makes you single. You're not alone. You know better than that, Aaron. You have me."

He shook his head and turned from her, opening his car door and throwing the envelope in. He kept his back facing her but spoke curtly over his shoulder, "Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe you deserve better."

She gave him and crooked smile and took a couple steps towards him, her hand resting on the opened driver's side door as she rested her other hand on his back, "Maybe I don't want better. Maybe I don't give a damn about what you think I deserve. Maybe I want _you_."

He shook his head and grabbed the door handle, "I'm sorry, Emily. I just… I _can't _do this anymore."

Her hands fell away from him and the door as he climbed into his car and pulled the door shut, before speeding out of the garage. She chewed on her lower lip for a moment, fighting the pain radiating through her chest and trying to decide her next course of action. Inside, she was struggling with a tidal wave of bittersweet emotion that threatened to completely overtake her. She'd been falling in love him harder and harder these last few weeks and now she was at a loss. Where did she go from here?

She felt the weight of her car keys in her pocket and reached in, her fingers tightening around them. She pulled them out and ran her thumb over his key; the one he'd just given her a few days ago. She licked her lips and sighed heavily, there was only one place she wanted to be and that would require her to really push him out of his comfort zone. She walked over to her car briskly and climbed in, pausing for just another moment to really think her plan of attack over, before realizing that there was no plan of attack for this.

She pulled out of the garage and drove over to his place, not bothering to speed or hit the sirens; he wasn't going to be running away or going out to get stone-cold drunk. She knew he had all the liquor he'd need at his place and that the longer she let him drink alone, the more pliable he'd be when she arrived.

She finally pulled up in front of his apartment building and parked away from the building. She'd head in in a moment, right now she needed to build up her own amount of steeled courage.

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His throat burned as he downed another long sip of the whiskey. He released a sigh and shook his head before opening the papers and starting to read them. She wanted it to be uncontested. She wanted each condition to be met without him fighting her for it; including custody. He leaned his head back against the back of his sofa and felt his eyes burn. She was taking his son away from him except for every other weekend and some holidays. He suddenly felt the urge to punch something. He stood up, fully intending to punch a pillow or the sofa, but instead drilled his hand straight into the wall. His cry of pain echoed softly around the space and he pulled it back, shaking his hand and glancing at his bloodied knuckles, the physical pain taking away slightly from the emotional pain he was currently experiencing.

He sulked to his kitchen and laid out a towel, using his good hand he laid in several pieces of ice, before grabbing it and his still half full tumbler of whiskey and heading into the living room once more. He threw the divorce papers onto the table and shook his head. He wasn't in a good place right now, and looking at them would only infuriate him more; so he took another sip of alcohol and kicked his feet up on the table in front of him. He couldn't stop his thoughts from wandering to Emily and his harsh treatment of her in the parking garage. He really fucked up. There she was, the woman that was slowly bringing him back to life, the woman he was falling in love with, and he'd pushed her away like she was a piece of garbage. He downed the rest of his glass and got up, refilling it for the third time since he'd arrived home. He jolted slightly at the knock at his door and debated telling the person to get lost, before heading over and swinging the door open.

He couldn't breathe.

She'd come to him and all he could do was stare at her tear-stained face.

She held her hand up and licked her lips, her hands visibly shaking as she stared him down, "I know you don't want to talk about this, Aaron. I know, and I understand why you don't. But you can't just push me away, the way you did Haley, and expect me to comply. That's not how I work. _I'm not her_."

He narrowed his eyes and shrugged, "I know you're not her. _Trust _me, I know. But I don't want to talk about it, Emily."

She shook her head and opened her hands at her sides, "Aaron, you're not hearing me. _I don't care_ if you don't want to talk about it. Part of loving someone means you push them to do things that they don't want to do. So consider this _me_ pushing _you_ because I love you and don't want to see this consume you."

His jaw dropped slightly at her admission and he stared at her in clear astonishment. She loved him? He opened and closed his mouth twice, trying to create words but finding none appropriate to the moment. His mind went blank. How the hell was he supposed to react to this bombshell? He huffed lightly and ran a hand through his hair and then down over the back of his neck. He'd hoped she's return his feelings, but hoping and then actually knowing were two very different things.

_SHIT._

It was the only word that reverberated through her skull as she stared at him. She'd said what she'd promised herself she'd never say. If there had ever been a moment that she wanted the ground to open beneath her and swallow her whole, this was it. She'd really fucked up now. As if he didn't have enough to deal with, now here she was telling him she loved him and making things even more complicated.

_Way to go, Prentiss. Really put your foot in your mouth this time._

She sighed and took a step away from him, her neck and face flushing as she looked around, "You know what, Hotch, it's fine. I'm just going to go and let you handle this your way."

She turned to leave, only managing to take a few steps before a hand gently grasped her elbow and stopped her from propelling forward. She glanced at the ceiling, getting her emotions in check before turning around and seeing him stare at her. She licked her lips nervously and stepped closer to him, her head tilting in confusion and concern.

He tugged her in front of him and held her shoulders in his hands, "Repeat it."

She shivered under his gaze and shook her head, her lips rolling into her mouth as she bit them, not wanting to dig her grave any deeper than she already had. His hand reached up and threaded through her long brunette locks, "Repeat it, Emily. Repeat it... for me."

She shook her head once more and closed her eyes as his fingers massaged her scalp, "Did you mean it, Emily?"

She blinked her eyes open nervously and shook her head twice. He smirked and raised an eyebrow at her. She sighed and nodded slowly as her eyes drifted shut and her head lulled forward, trying to hide the bright red beginning to appear on her cheeks and neck. He smiled slightly and tilted her head up, before resting his lips to her forehead and pressing a delicate kiss there. He leaned back and nodded to his apartment, "Come on."

She smiled slightly and stepped past him, entering his apartment and dropping her keys onto the table by the door. Her eyes immediately settled on the pack of papers on his coffee table and she couldn't help the flutter of curiosity and excitement that thrilled through her. He was almost legally done with this whole thing. She turned and looked at him, her eyebrow rising as she watched him put the make-shift ice pack on his hand. She took a step towards him and reached for his injured hand. He pulled back a little then acquiesced and let her take his hand in hers. She tenderly lifted the pack and hissed at the look of the bloodied and slightly swollen knuckles.

"Jesus Christ, Aaron, what did you do?"

He sighed and nodded to the wall, "Thought that instead of taking my anger out on the woman I love, I should take it out on something else. It was, in theory, a good idea.; I just should've hit something other than the wall."

Her stomach flip-flopped as she listened to him. She lifted her eyes to his and felt her heart stop at the slight smirk on his lips. She stared at him for several moments in silence before he leaned closer to her, his injured hand still resting in hers, and nudged her nose with his, "Thought you were the only one that felt it?"

Her eyes had slipped shut as he neared and she chuckled softly as their foreheads pressed together. She leaned back, placing the ice pack back on his hand and gently leading him to the sofa, and easing him down; before kneeling down on the cushion next to him and caressing his cheek softly, "I promised myself I wasn't going to say anything. Not for a while longer at least. I didn't want to make this more complicated than it already was. But, I guess I have a knack for taking awkward situations and making them even more awkward so…" She shrugged and ran her thumb over his lips, "Aaron, I…" the pink tip of her tongue ran over her top lip as she thought about how to proceed with the line of thought, "You don't have to pretend that you feel the same if you don't. I don't expect it. I just… I've always kind of loved you. Even when you were being an ass and treating me like I was some rookie; I was just sort of drawn to you."

She dropped her head and shrugged, "Who knew that a little over a year later, I'd be here?" She sighed and held the ice on his hand, letting it distract her from gazing at his face and letting him see the emotions fluttering around behind her dark eyes.

He watched her try to avoid him and smiled. She was so incredibly sweet and unique, sensual and independent, strong and devastating vulnerable, all at the same time. She literally took his breath away at times. He tilted her head up and ran the backs of his fingers down the side of her face, "Hey, it's not like this is sudden. This thing that's been going on with us… it's been going on for a while. 3 months isn't long in normal dating standards, Emily, and yes to normal people it's fast; but as you've aptly pointed out before, we're not normal." He grinned and shrugged, "We see each other every day and some days we're together all day at work and then we go out afterward. It's not completely unbelievable that we've developed these stronger feelings in such a short amount of time, especially since we both had been feeling something before we got together." He kissed her gently and sighed, "It just surprised me. You saying it first."

She chuckled and kissed him gently, her lips moving against his as she murmured to him softly, "Oh right, because you weren't in control."

Aaron couldn't help but marvel at the odd sort of serenity that had come over him during the last few minutes. She brought chaos into his life but at the same time had the uncanny ability to calm him too. He chuckled and hummed his agreement against her lips, "Something like that."

She pulled back and stroked his injured hand gently as he nuzzled her neck while they sat together on his sofa, cuddling together and saying nothing, just enjoying their quiet moments and reveling in the feelings they'd both expressed today. She had held up better than any other woman could've in this situation, but then, Emily was unlike any other woman he'd ever met. Her ability to hold her head high, while her world crumbled around her was one that he not only admired, but envied as well.

She tentatively eyed the papers on the table and sighed, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Aaron, but what about those papers made you think that punching the wall was a good idea?"

He pulled his head away from her neck and looked at the stack of papers with dark eyes, "She wants it uncontested. No lawyers. No fuss. She just wants it done."

She nodded and watched him glare at the offending papers for several long moments before she stroked the back of his neck with her free hand and broached the topic that was really on her mind, "And what about Jack?"

He dropped his head and gave it two slow shakes, "She wants custody. I'd get him every other weekend and some holidays." He shrugged, "She's just taking him from me. I barely see him as it is, and now I'll be reduced to 4 days a month? I don't know if I'm okay with that, Emily."

Emily's heart broke at the way he looked in that moment. She leaned forward and hugged him gently, her arm wrapping around him tenderly as she rocked him, "Aaron, I don't want to say she's right but, maybe that's best for him, at least right now. I'm sure if things change, that she'd be reasonable with letting you have time with him, but you said so yourself, you barely see him right now. How fair would it be to him to keep bouncing him back and forth if we got a case while you had him?"

She leaned back and cupped his cheek in her hand, "I know it sucks. It's hard and it's going to be for a while, but this might be the best thing for him right now. He needs stability and our jobs don't give that. You will always be his hero, Aaron. You're his father. No one can replace you in his mind. You're his own real life super hero and he loves you. I'm not saying she's right about everything, but maybe on this she is."

He nodded and sighed dejectedly. Her trained eyes watched as he slumped slightly and pouted and she felt for the man in front of her. He'd just lost his son and a marriage that he'd put years into was ending. He couldn't be feeling all that great. She sighed and lifted the ice from his hand, the bleeding of his knuckles had ceased, and the swelling had gone down significantly so she ran her hand over his and entwined their fingers, "You know you don't have to sign them right away, right?"

His head lifted and he looked at her with slightly narrowed eyes. She shrugged and scooted a little closer to him, her chest pressing against his shoulder as she looked at him with softened eyes, "You can think about it. No one is expecting you to just sign and give it all up without some thought. You wouldn't be Aaron Hotchner if you didn't." She caressed his cheek with the backs of her fingers and bit down on her lower lip slightly as she delighted momentarily in the feel of his skin under her hand, "You like to think about things and you never make snap decisions."

He opened his mouth to interrupt her and she placed her fingers over his open lips, silencing him as she continued, "And that's fine. It's one of the little quirks that I love about you. So don't treat this any different. This is a big decision, Aaron. You'd be giving up more than just your marriage, and I'm okay with you not signing them right away. I think you know I'm not going anywhere and I'm fairly certain you're not changing your mind."

She smiled and shrugged, "So the divorce won't be final for a little longer. Big deal. Take your time and really make sure that you're comfortable with what she wants to do. If you don't, you're just going to regret it and sulk around."

The corner of his lip turned upward just slightly as he listened to her and nodded, "Okay."

Her smile widened and she leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips and smiling as he dragged it out, lingering his mouth against hers and wrapping his free hand around the back of her neck, holding her there as his lips branded over hers. He pulled back slowly and nuzzled her neck lightly. He stroked a hand through her hair and smiled and in that smile she saw his heart, and she knew it was truly hers for the taking.

She ran her thumb over his lipstick stained mouth and cuddled against his side, "Is there anything I can do, Aaron?"

He shook his head, his hand cradling her cheek gently, fingertips brushing her cheekbone seductively. She kissed his palm and smirked as she turned back to look at him, "You know, I can go kick her ass if you want. I mean, it's bound to happen anyway once she finds out about us."

He openly laughed at that and shook his head, appreciating her for being able to brighten the moment and pull his thoughts back to the positive things in his life. He looked at her, watching her check his hand for any signs of a break and realized that even though somethings in life were ending, she was the new beginning he'd needed. He turned his hand over and interlocked their fingers, "Team still going out for drinks?"

She smiled and bobbed her head, "I think so. I really didn't stick around to solidify plans. I saw someone I care about leave in a rush and just kind of blew out of there at warp speed to follow him." She chuckled and shrugged, "Probably not the most subtle of hint at our relationship."

He smirked and nodded, "I'm sure we'll be hounded at the next available moment."

She smirked and hummed her agreement, "It won't be pretty."

He tilted his head in contemplation and squeezed her hand as he nodded to the door, "Let's go. If they're there, we'll deal with it. And if they're not… it'll be nice just being out together." He tucked a long tendril of brown hair behind her ear, "Besides, I think tonight should be a celebration."

Her eyebrow lifted slightly as she questioned his motives and he kissed her gently, "A beautiful woman told me she loves me tonight, call me crazy but I think there's something to celebrate there."

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><p><em><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Like it? Want more of it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	10. 3x12 3rd Life

**A/N: **I'd like to start this chapter as I always do. By first and foremost, thanking the amazing reviewers that make this story so fun to write**. Maguchi, Green-Elphaba-Thropp, x-MJ-x, Moon27, charmony, HGRHfan35, HPforever-after, BOK, greengirl82, tigerlily888, tigerlily02, schokokaffee: **I know some of you are new and I can't thoroughly express how amazed and honored I am to get reviews from new people, and some of you have been around since the first chapter and I can't even begin to tell you how much your continued support means! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. :)

**Michelle**, I don't think there are words to express my deep gratitude to you. Personally, you've just been amazing with all the encouragement you send my way; and as a beta, you are unparalleled. You catch EVERYTHING and I can't thank you enough.

**greengirl82,** As always, I want to thank you for the messages that you send and the lovely brainstorming sessions we do together. You have been a large part of the success of this fic and I adore you for it!

**This chapter is meant to follow episode **3x12 "3rd Life".****

**_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** _**I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

****Disclaimer in Chapter 1!****

_****RATED M FOR A REASON PEOPLE. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!****_

* * *

><p>"<strong>Other things may change us, but we start and end with family" - Anthony Brandt<strong>

It felt like she was experiencing déjà vu.

For the 3rd time in the last 3 months, they were dealing with a case that involved children. She'd be the first to admit that the things they saw on the job were some of the most gruesome things imaginable, but cases that involved kids were undoubtedly the worst. There was nothing she could think of that rivaled the anger she felt when working a case that involved kids. The upside of being a woman without children was that at the end of the case she would walk away and be able to go home and forget. The downside of things was that she was now seriously involved with a man who had a child and that he didn't have that luxury.

She knew the team suspected something was going on with them. JJ had asked about it almost from the beginning and Aaron had already confirmed that Rossi had figured them out. It wouldn't be long before Morgan and Garcia got on the bandwagon and began asking questions. The only one she could count on to be oblivious to the entire thing would be Reid. He was just charmingly awkward and dumb when it came to the social interactions of the team. It had become something that the team often teased him about; being a certified genius when it came to school and books and knowledge in general, but a complete infant when it came to matters of social involvement. Right now, she couldn't have been happier that he was the only member of the team left in the bull pen with her. Morgan had run off to meet one of his new booty calls, Garcia had left to go be with Kevin, Rossi had had a book signing he needed to be at, and JJ had just up and left with no explanation what-so-ever.

She lifted her eyes from the papers in front of her and rubbed them slowly with the heels of her hands. The words no longer made sense and she was clearly starting to feel the fatigue that remained from the last case. She often found that when they were working a case that was asintense as this one, she rarely slept for more than 3 hours a night from the adrenaline and focus. Right now, she was paying dearly for the long hours she'd devoted and the minimal sleep she'd gotten. She yawned and stretched her arms over her, wincing as several vertebrae realigned. She sighed as she relaxed back into her chair and looked up at Aaron's office. His body was silhouetted against the blinds by the light shining into his office from the setting sun and her eyes followed the contours of his body slowly. She huffed lightly and turned to Reid, who was still obviously affected by what he'd seen happen in Chula Vista. She rolled her office chair over to him and sat next to him at his cubical. His eyes stared straight ahead as he clearly was trying to work his genius mind around the events he'd witnessed. She reached over and wrapped her hand around his wrist, silently pulling him from his thoughts. His eyes turned to hers and she gave him a half smile, "You okay, Reid?"

He shook his head and shrugged lightly, "He just did it. Right in front of his daughter. Why did he do that, Emily?"

She couldn't stifle the gentle smile that painted her lips as she listened to him speak. Sometimes dealing with the boy genius was like dealing with a 4 year old. She shrugged and tenderly squeezed his wrist, "I think he did it to protect Lindsey. He wanted to keep her as safe and eliminate the threat. He was trying to be a good parent."

He nodded solemnly and pursed his lips, "But we were there. We could've taken him into custody and…"

She shushed him lightly and moved her hand form his wrist to glide along his upper back in slow, strong strokes, comforting him and trying to pull his thoughts away from the dark place he was hovering in, "Reid, I don't know what he was thinking, but I do know that this isn't your fault. I know you tried to talk him out of doing it and I'm sure you did everything you could've to have stopped him. Sometimes things are out of our control and you just have to let it go."

His big, brown, puppy dog eyes stared straight into hers and she leaned forward, giving him a gentle hug and holding him as he digested the words she'd just spoken. He pulled away minutes later and looked around the empty office, "I think I'm going to go home."

She nodded and smiled, "That's a good idea. Do something to take your mind off of this case, okay? I don't want to see you coming in tomorrow with this same attitude."

He smiled widely and gave her a firm nod, "Thanks, Emily."

She rolled her chair back to her desk as he walked out, leaving the two raven haired agents alone in the BAU. She took a deep breath in and released it shakily before standing from her chair and heading up to his office. She knocked lightly on the closed door before poking her head in, "You busy?"

His dark eyes met hers and she could've sworn she'd seen a glimpse of one of his dimples come out. He shook his head and gestured for her to take a seat. She stepped into his office, closing the door behind her snugly and plopped down into the chair across from his desk. Her arms rested on the wooden armrests as she folded her hands in front of her and sighed, "Everyone else has left. I'm exhausted, you're exhausted. Why don't we pack up and get out of here? There's this new little Chinese place by my apartment. We'll grab some cheap late night chow thathas absolutely no nutritional value at all. You can come stay at my place for the night, and then tomorrow we can come back in and finish whatever stuff's left to do."

He tilted his head in contemplation and she smiled warmly, "Come on, Aaron." She gestured with her hand to the files on his desk as she shook her head, "Whatever this is can wait. You need to learn to walk away from the office every once in a while. It's not healthy for you to hide in here so much." She smirked and shrugged, "Especially not when there's a woman who just invited you to go to dinner with her."

He nodded and dropped his pen onto the desk before closing the open file and pushing his chair back. He reached for his open briefcase and quirked an eyebrow as she pulled it away from him, "You don't need this. Lock it up in your drawer and let's go." He smirked and shook his head, climbing out of his chair and locking his briefcase in the bottom drawer of his desk. She smiled warmly as she took one of his hands in hers and led him out.

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He chuckled as yet another large yawn escaped her lips at their small table at the Chinese diner. He reached across the table and stroked the top of her hand gently, "You know, if you're _that _tired we can just go back to your place."

She waved off his concern and smiled sleepily at him, "I'd really rather be out with you. I'm tired, but I still want to spend time with you."

He captured her fingers gently and gave them a tender squeeze, "We'd still be together. We'd just be at your place. In bed." He saw her eyes flicker and he quickly added onto his train of thought with a chuckle, "Asleep, Emily."

She pouted lightly and entwined her fingers with his, "You're no fun."

His eyebrow rose slightly and he shook his head, "If you're too tired to eat, you're too tired for after dinner activities Agent Prentiss."

She smiled sleepily and nodded in defeat, "Fine. Fine, fine." She watched as he waved the waiter over and requested that their order be made to go. Shortly thereafter they arrived at her apartment complex. He glanced at her, asleep in his passenger seat and smiled warmly. The dramatic turn in their relationship the last few months had opened his eyes to so much that he'd been missing. He turned his car off, grabbed their carryout in the plastic bag behind his seat, swung his go bag over his shoulder and made his way over to her door. He opened it with his free hand and sighed. She was stunning when she was asleep; her dark lashes fanned out across her high cheekbones, her lips parted slightly as she breathed in slow, even breaths. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead delicately and spoke her name softly so as not to startle her. She blinked her eyes open sleepily and smiled, "Hi."

He chuckled and returned her soft hello before pressing a gently kiss to her lips. "I need you to help me here, Em. Are you too tired to walk?"

She slowly shook her head and climbed out of the car, grabbing her purse and go bag. She leaned against him as they headed into her complex and up to her door. He took the keys from her and unlocked the door before helping her in. He set their go bags and food down by door and kicked it shut. His eyes turned to her and he grinned, seeing her leaning against the wall by the door, nearly asleep. He padded over to her silently and hoisted her into his arms. He carried her up to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed gingerly. Moments later she was tucked in under her comforter and sheets in only her bra and panties. He smiled and kissed her before heading down to put the food in the fridge and bring their bags up to her bedroom.

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She couldn't move.

She tried again and hummed her displeasure at being stuck before blinking her eyes open with a huff. She looked around her room, taking in her surroundings and smiled as she looked down at her waist. Suddenly, she understood why she couldn't move. She was pinned down to the bed by a large, masculine arm. She followed the length of the arm over her waist and up to the sleeping form of one Aaron Hotchner. She turned in his grasp and cuddled into his chest tenderly, pressing a kiss to his bare chest and then one to his neck. His eyes blinked open slowly and he glanced down at her. He flashed her a dimple before kissing her lightly and closing his eyes again, "Good morning."

She chuckled softly and traced her fingertips gently up his back, "Good morning to you too."

He sighed contentedly as her fingers teased the flesh on his back with tender strokes, "What time is it?"

She leaned up and glanced at her alarm clock over his shoulder, "8 AM." He groaned and, as she dropped her head back to the pillow, added in a rough, husky voice, "Why am I awake at 8 AM on a Saturday?"

She smirked and shrugged, "Got me. I was just enjoying the view of the handsome man in my bed."

He smiled and opened his eyes, meeting hers slowly as he reached up and tucked a strand of brunette hair behind her ear. He cupped her cheek gently and traced her cheekbone with his thumb as he took in her obvious beauty. She tilted her head into his palm and sighed lightly before lying down next to him and cuddling into his chest, her arm draping over his chest as he tugged her tight against him. He kissed the top of her head and reached down entwining their hands tenderly, "I want to ask you something, but I'm not sure how to phrase it."

She hummed lightly and nuzzled under his chin, brushing the tip of her nose along his neck as she breathed his scent in and pressed a tender kiss there, "Just ask it, Aaron."

He licked his lips and leaned back from her slightly, looking down at her and watching her head tilt up to look at him. He took a tentative breath and swallowed the lump in his throat, a slight wave of anxiety washing through his stomach. She squeezed their joined hands and narrowed her eyes, "What is it?"

She felt her stomach flutter at his silence and the contemplative look on his face. He took a deep breath and released it slowly before speaking, "I need to start thinking about Jack, Emily."

She nodded slowly and couldn't help the upturn of the corners of her lips as she pictured the young boy that she'd seen pictures of. He smiled with her and knew that whatever anxiety he was having over this conversation was unfounded. If anyone was going to be open to his son, it would be Emily Prentiss. He huffed out a light laugh and shrugged, "Eventually, if we are going to continue being together, you are going to have to meet him and spend time with him."

Her eyes widened slightly as she attempted to lean away from him, their joined hands kept her close though and he pulled her back to him carefully, "Get back here." He chuckled softly and leaned his forehead to hers, "I'm not saying now. I'm not even going to set a timeframe on it. I'd like to wait until everything with Haley is settled and for you to be comfortable with it, but I'm just testing the water to see if you're ready for that. You both are parts of my life now, and I'd like to see the two of you start to have a relationship within my life."

Eyes still wide, with a smile to match, she nodded slowly and squeezed his hand, "I'd like that. What brought this up? Have you been reading those papers again?"

He shrugged and shook his head, rolling onto his back and pulling her to cuddle against his side, their joined hands resting over his heart, "Well yeah, there's that, but the case really made me think. How far a parent will go to protect their own child. How far I'd go to protect Jack."

She hummed her agreement from her position against him, her head settled on his shoulder, as he continued, "It just reminded me how important he is to me." He felt her smile against his shoulder and kissed her forehead gently, "So what do you think? Two of the important people in my life spending some quality time together in the near future? You up for it?"

She nodded slowly and looked up at him, freeing her hand from his and pressing her palm over his heart, "Who knew that the uptight Aaron Hotchner knew how to have a human side huh? What happened to Mr. Stay Objective when working a case?"

He chuckled and dragged his hand lightly up her bare arm and toyed with the strap of her bra, "He met Ms. Needs- To- Be- Human and loosened up a little." He tugged on the bra strap, gliding it off her shoulder and letting it fall limp against her upper arm as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder, "Only out of the office though."

Her laughter swirled around him as he pressed tender kisses to her shoulder, before it faded into soft sighs of pleasure as his lips moved up her shoulder and over her neck. His lips sealed to hers hotly as he tugged her up and over him, letting her lithe body press into his while his hands traced down the contours of her back, unfastening her bra along the way down to her lower back. He pressed lightly on her back, holding her tight to him as their mouths melded together in the soft morning light breaking through her white curtains. When she went to straddle his hips, he helped and looked up at her as she leaned over him, her eyes misty and her heart full. This sudden showing of his humanity had warmed her all over physically and had seared right through her soul, branding her heart with his words. Inviting her to be a part of Jack's life was a huge step for them and while it scared the living hell out of her it also made her feel like she was a part of something much bigger than this little relationship; she suddenly felt like she belonged to a family.

The elusive thing that had always been a void in her life, and some of the cause of her teenage angst, was suddenly starting to come into her grasp, first with a man who seemed to be able to live up to expectations and still have flaws that made him more than human, and now with that man's little boy. She melted into him at that thought, her chest pressing into his hard as she tried to consume him with the fire she felt in her blood. Her lips bruised his with ferocity as she moved along his, her tongue tracing his lower lip before pressing through to his and slowly beginning to raise his temperature.

She was going to kill him. He was almost positive of that fact. That she could turn this vixen thing off and on in a heartbeat was beyond all comprehension. He couldn't stop counting his blessings as their mouths melded together, hot breaths mixing as the minimal clothing the two adults wore quickly dropped to the floor beside the bed. One big hand sank into her hair to hold her head still, and the other went down to her bottom so he could pull her up tight against him as he rolled her beneath him. His head lifted from hers for a moment and she opened her eyes, feeling his unrelenting stare on her. She felt the touch of his gaze clear down to her soul and reached up caressing his cheek for a moment and smiling warmly. Her eyes were velvety soft and heavy with lust as he stared at her and he felt a surge of manly pride that she belonged to him. He'd had a lot of want sin his life, some basic, some frivolous, many career based. But nothing compared to how much he wanted her, how much he had always wanted her.

She pressed in close to him, her arms going around his bare back and her head tucking into his neck, pressing hot, wet kisses to the skin there. Knowing she couldn't see him, Aaron closed his eyes and folded his arms protectively around her. Possessiveness rode him hard, it always had, but with her it was different. He needed to have her in his life, desperately needed it. He couldn't see the future, and he didn't know how she'd deal with Haley, but for now, for this moment and as long as he could arrange it, she was his and his alone.

Her heart threatened to explode with urgency and need as his body teased hers. She curved her slim thigh up and over his, trapping his body between her legs as a soft whimper of need escaped her plump, kiss swollen lips. She kissed him deep as her hips arched towards him, her nails raking down his back, leaving trails of pink flesh in their path. He groaned in response, the sound achingly real and honest. Aaron held her face, their heartbeats syncing as their eyes connected and he rocked into her.

Her head went back.

His head dropped forward.

Her lips whispered his name.

He locked his jaw tight.

She stared up at him, her eyes dazed and open as they moved together. He loved being with her in every sense. She was in a constant state of flux in and out of bed and he could never get enough of her. Making love to her was more like a marathon than a sprint, constantly changing and evolving; soft and sweet one moment and then fast and hard the next then raunchy and dirty but always, always special. Because she was special. She was the most unique creature he'd ever met and he'd never expected to get to have her the way he was.

Her arms went around his neck, her fingers into his hair and she leaned up, her forehead pressing to his as she murmured her appreciation for his movements softly. He swallowed hard and gripped the sheets in his fists as the pressure built between them to near unbearable heights. The second he heard her vibrating cry of release, he let himself go along with her.

It was mind-blowing.

It was bliss.

Because it was Emily.

_His_ Emily.

He didn't think he could ever let her go. He definitely knew he didn't want to let her go, under any circumstances. He knew he wasn't in any position to be thinking long-haul and he knew he had plenty of other things that needed to be at the forefront of his mind, but right now, wrapped in her arms and in her bed, he was certain that he'd do anything he could to keep her in his life. He pressed a tender kiss to her temple and murmured his love for her before rolling to the side and tugging her limp body to rest against him, her head automatically settling on his chest as they came down together. She kissed his chest gently and looked up at him, a smile painted on her lips as she dropped her head to his gently and rested her forehead to his. His eyes crossed slightly as he looked at her, and she met his gaze with her hooded bedroom eyes that sparkled with silent laughter, "Don't take this the wrong way, but you're _way_ more fun out of the office."

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><p><em><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Like it? Want more of it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	11. 3x13 Limelight

**A/N: Meant to post this yesterday but work and RL interfered. Now, onto my full notes...**

I'd like to start this chapter as I always do. By first and foremost, thanking the amazing reviewers that make this story so fun to write**. x-MJ-x, sarahb2007, HGRHfan35, HPforever-after, greengirl82, tigerlily888, tigerlily02: **Thank you all so much for your reviews. :) It is really encouraging to have the continued support from you all!

**Michelle**, You know I love you. Thank you for everything this past week! xxoo

**greengirl82,** As always, I want to thank you for the messages that you send and the lovely brainstorming sessions we do together. You have been a large part of the success of this fic and I adore you for it!

**This chapter is meant to follow episode 3x13 "Limelight"**.****

**_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** _**I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

****Disclaimer in Chapter 1!****

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><p>"<strong>Action expresses priorities." - Gandhi<strong>

It didn't happen often.

He wasn't familiar with the sensation of being shaken by a case that didn't involve kids.

This time, though, he was shaken to his core. Not because the victims were brutalized in any way he'd never seen before, nor because the victims looked like anyone he cared about; no, this time he was shaken because he'd seen hints of himself in Jill Morris' me-first mentality. Rossi's reaction to her antics had opened his eyes to the fact that he too, was guilty of it. He stared at the divorce papers, sitting on his desk in front of him, spread out so he could analyze each page; the words mocking him over and over again. He was ultimately failing at something. That fact in itself was mind-blowing to him. He read through the pages once more, taking notes on things he wasn't sure about and debating if it was worth it to push things with Haley.

"Makes you think doesn't it?"

A deep timbre of a voice distracted him from his notes and his head lifted to look at the silhouetted man standing at the doorway to his office and tilted his head questioningly, "Want to elaborate on that?"

Rossi pushed away from the door frame, hands tucked into his pockets as he strolled in and shrugged, ending his short walk in front of Aaron's desk and looking down at the younger man, "The case. Jill's little press conference. Makes you think." He shrugged and chuckled, "Made me think anyway. About priorities and what comes first in my life."

Aaron's eyes narrowed slightly as he leaned back in his chair and folded his hands in front of him, "Ok, I'll bite. What comes first in your life, Dave?"

Dave's short huff of laughter was followed by a head shake as he sat down in the chair across from Aaron's desk, "The job. It always has. First, the agency. Then came the BAU. Then that was followed by retirement and my books. Now, it's the BAU again. I've never had a home life that I valued, Aaron. Probably explains why I have four ex-wives that I pay alimony to."

He folded his lips together for a moment and watched as Aaron's head dropped slightly before continuing, "Listen, you can tell me I'm full of shit if you want and I'll leave, you know that what I said about Morris putting herself first, about me putting myself first, it's about you too." He shook his head, "Don't make my mistakes, Aaron. You lost Haley by having your priorities in places that they didn't need to be; don't do that to Emily too."

He nodded out to the group in the bull pen and sighed, "I know, you know, that she's the opposite of Haley. She gets that the job isn't a 9-to-5 sort of deal and that it never ends. She gets that you can't always shut off who you are, and she gets that the things we see on this job, don't just go away when we leave the office. She's not going to nit-pick about the job like Haley, we both know that; but those papers are a different story. I don't think she's as comfortable with this as you think she is. She told you to take your time but it's been over a month Aaron. I think we both know that you've dragged your feet long enough. How long are you going to take? I'm surprised Haley hasn't shown up and demanded the papers from you. What's the problem here, Aaron?"

Aaron shook his head and scrubbed a hand over his face, "I don't know, Dave. She wants them signed uncontested and I get it. Less expense, less drama, less pain. I understand the reasons why, but there's so much I'm losing." He swallowed and shrugged, "I just don't know."

"Sign the papers, Aaron. Or at the very least, go talk to Haley about the reservations you're having. She's reasonable. She's not trying to drag you over coals about it. She's looking out for herself and for Jack. Talk to her. Don't bring lawyers and divorce court into it. Come to an understanding with her and get it over with already." He hesitated and then leaned forward slightly, "Does she know that you've moved on?"

Aaron gave a subtle shake of his head, "I don't want her to. Not for a while. Why give her cause to start making things even more difficult. It's better for everyone this way, especially Emily." He sighed and put the papers together in a neat little pile, looking up at Dave with uncertain eyes, "You really think this is what I should do? Talk to Haley about it?"

Dave nodded and cocked his head, "We both know I've had my share of divorces, Aaron. I think I know what I'm doing here. Just go be honest with her and explain your issues to her. Your marriage didn't fail because you two stopped loving each other, Aaron. It failed because you stopped trying. You let your pride interfere and it pushed your family away. Now, I know things have been cold for a while between you and Haley, but you two loved each other enough to have a son together. You need to trust that on some level feelings still exist and you need to trust that those feelings will be enough to make her listen to you."

Both men stood at the same time and moved to Aaron's office door. Dave silently nodded towards Emily and spoke softly to Aaron, "You're losing a lot, Aaron; but look at what you're gaining. She might not be able to make up for everything, but she has to count for something."

Aaron's dark eyes watched her graceful movements as she and JJ sauntered out of the bull pen, coffee mugs in hand, and nodded, "She does, Dave. She counts for more than you think."

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Three soft knocks sounded through the darkened living space a few hours later. The sound of crickets chirping floated through the night's soft breeze and for just one moment, things seemed peaceful and serene. The door opened and the two adults stood at an impasse. In the four months that had passed between her leaving and this moment, he'd forgotten so much about her. He fidgeted slightly and sighed, "Haley."

"Aaron?"

He nodded and shrugged, "Can we talk?"

She shook herself from the shock she was feeling and moved aside, letting him into their one-time home and shutting the door behind him. He looked around, feeling weirdly out of place in the home, and turned to her, "I just have some things that I want to talk about before I sign the papers."

Her lips were a firm, grim line and she shook her head, "Come on, Aaron, haven't we been through enough?"

He held up his hand and met her hardening stare with his own, "I just want to talk, Haley. I'm not going to talk you out of this. But I do want to discuss some things that have been bothering me."

She dropped her head back with a soft groan and shrugged, "Fine." She gestured to the living room and followed him in, watching his head turn and look around the space, expecting to hear the soft sounds made by their son. She sat down on the sofa, nodding for him to join her and folded her hands on her lap, "He's already asleep. What do you want to talk about?"

He winced at her matter-of-fact tone and sighed, "You know the job. I just want to know that you'll be flexible about me getting to see him. If I'm out of town on a case the weekend I'm supposed to have him… I don't think that should mean I don't get to see him for another couple weeks." He shook his head, "Just because we didn't work, doesn't mean that I'm not going to fight for him. I want to be a part of his life."

She snorted lightly and shrugged, "Since when, Aaron? Since you found out that we were gone? Since you got served with the papers? You haven't been a part of his life since you took over that team. It's not fair for your son and for me to have to take a back seat to the job." She sighed and calmed down for a moment, taking her volume down a few notches so as not to wake Jack and met his dark gaze with her steeled green one, "I will work with you if you're unavailable the weekend you're scheduled, but I want to make this very clear to you, I'll work on it for Jack's sake only. He deserves to see his father."

He nodded and licked his lips, "There's something else, too."

She tilted her head and gestured for him to continue. He glanced at her tired form and scratched the back of his neck, "I want you guys to keep the house. I want him to be where he knows his surroundings, Haley. We'll consider it part of your settlement."

He shrugged and looked around, "I want him to grow up in a safe place. Can you talk to your lawyer about that?"

She nodded, "He'd be so pissed if he knew we were talking about this right now."

He couldn't help the slight upturn of his mouth, "Yeah. I bet."

Several moments of awkward silence passed before his phone buzzed and he reached into his pocket, fishing it out, and seeing he had a new text message. He read the message and couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his face.

_How's it going? Need me to bail you out? Want me to tell you we have a "case"? _

He quickly replied that things were fine and that her offer wasn't needed. He tucked his phone back into his pocket and lifted his eyes, feeling Haley's stare on him. He wiped the smile from his face as best as he could and stood, "I'll… let you go to bed."

He moved away from the sofa and headed to the door, stopping at her soft question, "Who is she?"

He turned around and saw her standing only a few feet away, arms wrapped around herself and head tilted. He could see the surprise in her features and sighed lightly, "Haley, I don't want to do this. Not right now."

She scoffed and moved closer to him, "Moving on so fast, Aaron? That easy to just let go of your family and find someone else?"

He grit his jaw and leaned closer to her, "Don't make this about her. This marriage was over long before you left and we both know it. Anything that happened once you were gone is my business."

He shrugged and shook his head, "Let's face it, Haley. We haven't been an us for a while. Don't think I've forgotten the times when I'd answer the phone and get hung up on and then your cellphone would ring. At least I waited for you to be gone." He swallowed hard, his heart thundering in his chest as he looked down at her, "I'll sign the papers and pass them onto your attorney as soon as I can."

He reached for the door and began to open it, stopping when she reached out and rested her hand over his on the door knob, "I don't want her near my son."

He turned over his shoulder and shook his head, "That's not negotiable. He's my son too. I will not pretend that she's not in my life. I want him to get to spend time with her. Maybe not soon but eventually he will be meeting her. It's important to me that they get to know each other, Haley. If she's going to be a part of my life, I expect her to be part of his too."

She shook her head and whispered softly, "How am I supposed to trust a stranger with my son?"

He guided her hand from his and shut the door before facing her and shrugging, "Because she's not a stranger, Haley. She's Emily."

He waited for the information to sink in and watched as Haley's eyes widened to the size of saucers, "The ambassador's daughter? The agent you work with?"

He nodded his affirmation to both questions and sighed, "Yeah, Haley. That's Emily." He nodded to the stairs, "And she will get to spend time with Jack. She's not trying to take him from you. She doesn't want to replace you in any way." He licked his lips and shook his head, "Trust me, Haley, she's just as terrified by this whole situation as you are, but he's a part of my life, a large part of it, and she knows that if she wants to be with me, she has to accept him too."

She blinked in confusion and shook her head, "You're dating Emily Prentiss?"

He nodded slowly and cocked his head, "You could say that, yes."

She opened and shut her jaw twice before huffing in frustration and rubbing her hand over her mouth as she thought the whole revelation through, "You're dating Emily and you want to introduce her to our son at some point?"

He nodded again and narrowed his eyes unsure where she was going with her line of thought, "Absolutely not, Aaron. I will not have him getting confused about who she is in your life. He's not going to be able to understand that she's your co-worker as well as the new woman in his daddy's life. What's he going to call her? Did you even think this through before you jumped into it with her or is she just a nice little consolation prize for your family falling apart?"

He reached out and rested his hands on Haley's slim shoulders, "First off, he doesn't have to understand the difference between her working with me and dating me. It shouldn't matter to him. All he needs to know is that I care about her and that she's in my life now. Secondly, I wouldn't expect him to call her anything other than Emily. She's not his mother and she's not trying to be. Jesus Christ, Haley, it's not like she would do anything to hurt him. She's… Haley, I trust her with my own life. She'd do everything in her power to protect him if anything ever happened, and that's what's most important to me."

He swallowed hard, seeing her look up at him with fire in her eyes and sighed, "And she's not some consolation prize or random rebound. It may have started that way but it's certainly not that anymore. I have thought this through, long and hard, and it might not make sense to you, but it works for us."

He took a step away from her, releasing her shoulders in doing so, and opened the door, "I'll get the papers to you as soon as I can." He gave a firm nod to her and shut the door behind him with a solid thump. He froze on the porch for a moment and took a deep breath in before releasing it in a long huff. He shook his head and moved to his car in brisk steps, wanting desperately to leave the conversation and his confession to Haley about Emily behind him, lingering in the air; but with each step he took, he felt the heaviness of it following him. He slid into his car and fingered the keys tentatively, his eyes settling on the key to her apartment for several long moments as he debated whether or not he should stop by and see her, before he put the keys into his ignition and drove away from his one-time home.

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Empty.

Lonely.

Quiet.

All words that could accurately describe her apartment right now. She stared at her ceiling as she laid in bed, one arm draped across the sheet covering her abdomen, the other lying across the empty expanse of bed next to her, missing the feel of his warmth that had an uncanny ability to seep into the mattress and stay there for what felt like hours after he'd gone. When he'd told her that he was going to go talk to Haley, she'd felt her heart just plummet to the very pit of her stomach. She had absolutely no doubt that he cared about her and felt more secure in their relationship than ever before; but still she had her moments of doubt, of insecurity, and of guilt. That had been the biggest reality smack of them all. This was really happening. She knew feeling guilt about his marriage breaking up was stupid. She hadn't caused the break up and she'd certainly given him more than one chance to go back to Haley, but still those little moments of unsettling worry snuck into her mind. This morning had been one of them; waking up to him getting cleaned up and dressed in the barely lit wee hours of the morning had given her the momentary sensation of what could've been if he had taken one of the outs she'd offered. Watching him sneak out after making love with her and then heading home to his miserable marriage. She, of course, would've ended the affair, at least she told herself that right now; deep down she knew that letting him go would've been an almost impossible task. Realistically, she figured, he would've been the one to stop coming to her for those nights of comfort sex that had begun their affair, because she knew that she would've found a way to compartmentalize how wrong it was to be sleeping with a married man.

The scrapings of metal in the lock of her front door was the thing that jolted her from her thoughts. She lifted her head and reached to the bedside table, and grabbed her gun, quietly taking off the safety and sliding from her bed. She moved softly to the door, before opening it and padding down the hallway towards her stairs, her back pressed tight to the wall and gun raised, ready to shoot. She caught the dark shadow of a man turning towards the stairs and beginning to advance up them before she readied herself and called out, "FBI. Don't move."

A soft, familiar chuckle sounded up from the stairs and she clicked the safety back on before poking her head around the wall and seeing him leaning his back against the stair railing, hands raised slightly and a dimpled grin on his face, "Considering the night I've had, getting shot would only complete it."

She rolled her eyes and moved towards him, standing in front of him, her gun pointed away from them, and reached up with her free hand, brushing his bangs out of his face, "I offered you an out. What the hell happened to 'it's going fine'?"

He laughed outright at her imitation of his voice and shook his head as his arms wrapped around her body and his hands settled on her lower back, cuddling her against him, "It had been going fine until you wrote me."

Emily's eyebrow slow quickly as she tilted her head and stroked the back of his neck with her free hand, "How did she know it was…"

He smirked and dropped his forehead to hers, "Emily, if you've missed the way I look at you or the way I react to you then there's a problem here." He chuckled with her lightly and kissed her warmly, "She's not blind, sweetheart."

Emily huffed lightly and looked at him, "Well then there's obviously something else wrong with her, I mean, how does a woman just walk away from someone like you?" She pressed her lips to his jaw and then down his throat quickly, the corner of her mouth quirking into a smile as he groaned and tried to continue with his story, "She wanted to know who the new woman was and got on the defensive about Jack not being allowed around the stranger in my life." He sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she sucked lightly at the hollow of his throat while undoing the buttons of his shirt, "So I told her. About us."

Emily's eyes widened slightly and she felt her jaw dip open before she pulled back from him and stared in horror. "You what?"

She took a couple steps back, her back pressing against the wall opposite the bannister of her stairs, a good foot of space between them as she tried to come to terms with the fact that her ultimate worst nightmare of this whole thing had happened. Haley knew. She raked her nails through her hair and shook her head, "She knows? Aaron, what… why would you do that?"

He sighed and watched her minor breakdown for a moment, scratching the back of his neck and letting her go on about how this was going to ruin everything and how Haley was probably on the phone right now calling their teammates and outing their relationship. He nodded along with her, placating her and letting her think he was agreeing before he reached forward, taking her shoulders in his hands and massaging them gently, "It was bound to happen eventually Emily. At least this way she found out from me and not Jack or someone else."

He turned her body to head back up the stairs and walked her into her bedroom, leading her to the bed and sitting down next to her, "If she tells the team, it's not going to change anything."

She snorted and rolled her eyes, "Right. The guys are going to think you're just a God that can walk on water for being able to bed your subordinate. 'Ooh look at Hotch, the bad ass who reined in that wild Prentiss.' And I'll be the one stuck with all the 'home-wrecker' comments about how I broke you and Haley up and how I'm trying to sleep my way to the top. No, Aaron. This isn't going to change anything at all… FOR YOU. For me, I might as well just turn in my badge on Monday. Why the hell not?"

He huffed lightly and knelt in front of her, capturing her face between his palms, "Stop it." His command was soft and demanding and her frantic brown eyes met his calm ones. He caressed her cheeks tenderly with his thumbs and shook his head, "Nothing like that is going to happen. Yes, we both would have to deal with those unpleasant comments about this being the cause of the divorce, but we both would know it wasn't true. I don't give a damn what they'd think. I don't live my life hoping that Garcia or Morgan are pleased with the choices I make. What I do in my time away from the office is my business, not theirs. Now, about this whole Haley knowing thing, I wasn't planning on stopping by tonight. I figured I'd take you to lunch tomorrow and explain everything there."

She sighed lightly as his hands slid back into her dark hair and massaged the back of her skull gently, "But after everything that was said between her and I, I just… I needed to see you." He shrugged and flashed her a dimple, "I didn't think I'd wake you. You're usually such a heavy sleeper."

She gave him a weak, half smile and wrapped her fingers around one of his thick wrists, "I wasn't asleep."

His eyebrows furrowed together in worry and he glanced behind her at the rumpled sheets and then up to her face. She shrugged and dropped her head to his shoulder, nuzzling his neck tenderly, "Is it weird that I only sleep well when I'm with you? I've just gotten so used to it. The 3 or 4 nights that you're not with me I just sort of nap for short periods of time and then I lay here and wish you were with me." She lifted her head slightly and looked at him through heavy lidded eyes, "It's weird that I miss you sleeping next to me, isn't it?"

He smiled and kissed her forehead gently, murmuring his love for her softly and breathing in her light scent before wrapping his arm around her shoulders and hugging her against him. She slid off the bed into his warm arms, both adults kneeling on the floor in the others tight embrace, "Not at all, sweetheart. I miss you too."

He pressed another tender kiss to her forehead, then her nose, then a slow, heated kiss to her lips before leaning back and cupping her cheek in his free hand, "It's the weekend, sweetheart. Get some rest. If JJ gets a case I'll personally come wake you up with coffee and a bagel."

She smiled and nodded, "Okay." He nodded and helped her climb up into her bed, before tucking her in and kissing her gently once more. He turned to leave but stopped when her warm hand held onto his tightly, "Aaron?"

He turned to look at her with soft brown eyes, her face and body softly lit by the moon shining through her drapes, and smiled. He moved back towards her and leaned over her, tilting his head in silent question.

She gave his hand a gentle tug and nodded to the bed, "Stay with me."

He glanced at the vacant spot next to her, his dimples coming out as he realized that she wasn't sleeping in the center of her bed, but to the opposite side of the mattress that he usually claimed. He nodded slowly and extracted his hand from hers before stripping down to his boxers and climbing in behind her, his body cuddling into hers tenderly and his arm holding her form to his tightly. She entwined their fingers on her hip and sighed softly, "So, not to dwell on this but, is she going to come to work to beat me up or is she okay with us?"

He could hear the smile in her voice and gave her hand a squeeze, "I don't know, Emily. I honestly don't know, and, as I mentioned earlier, I really don't care." He kissed the side of her neck and brushed his lips over her ear, "_This_ isn't about _her_, it's about _us_." He moved their joined hands further up her body, his arm tucking tight around her waist as he pressed in against her, "It's about time I make you the priority in my life." He kissed her shoulder hotly and squeezed her hand gently, watching her snuggle into her pillow and press back into him tenderly. He murmured his love for her into her ear over and over as she smiled and returned the sentiments. She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder and kissed him languidly before dropping her head back to the pillow and closing her eyes. Sleep almost immediately took over her, as was usual when she was locked securely in his arms, and he smiled at the soft sound of her even breathing. Looking down at her, watching her sleep and feeling her against him, he made up his mind. First thing Monday morning, he was signing those papers.


	12. 3x14 Damaged

**A/N:** Let's start of chapter 12 the way I do every other one, by thanking the people that make writing this worth while. **x-MJ-x, sarahb2007, charmony, maguchi, HGRHfan35, HPforever-after, greengirl82, green-elphaba-thropp, tigerlily888, tigerlily02, miaa29, riverlover:** Words cannot express how much I appreciate your reviews and support! I am so lucky to have all of you as readers! :)

**Michelle**, This last week has been crazy! Thank you for being at my side through it! :D So lucky to have you as my AMAZING beta!

**greengirl82,** I want to thank you for your input on this. You always have some amazing insight into the episodes that I haven't thought of before. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Your one-shot will be up a little later today.

**This chapter is meant to follow episode 3x14 "Damaged".**

**_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** _**I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

****Disclaimer in Chapter 1!****

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><p>"<strong>Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." - Tori Amos<strong>

What.

The.

Hell.

Three words that were reverberating in her head as she listened to the story of what had gone down while he'd been secured in a room with Reid and a serial killer. It was one thing for him to want to be the alpha male in the field and to put his life on the line when he cleared a room or worked a scene, but this was so different. She stared at the younger agent who was still rambling on about the experience and blinked in shock, "Reid… Reid… Slow down." Reid's mouth snapped shut and he pouted lightly as she rolled her chair over to him and sat in front of him, holding his hands on his legs and staring straight into his eyes, "Hotch did what?"

He shrugged and stuttered lightly at her very serious tone, "He… Well, he challenged him. Hardwick, I mean, he said he was going to kill us and then Hotch just… I've never seen Hotch be like that before. He just started getting ready to fight. He took his tie and jacket off, Emily. I was just so surprised. I think he was really going to do it."

Her jaw stayed slack as she tried to work through what she was hearing. She swallowed hard and looked up at Aaron's office with darkening eyes before looking back at him and sighing, "How did you get out of it, Reid?"

He sighed and pulled away from her quickly, seeing the dark look in her eyes that he knew only meant bad things for their unit chief. He folded his hands on his desk and stared at them, "I distracted him. It was pretty touch and go there for a minute though. I really thought Hotch was going to fight him. Have you seen the pictures of what that guy did? He literally tore the women apart. Hotch wouldn't have stood-"

His sentence was abruptly interrupted as she pushed herself out of her chair and stormed up to Aaron's office. She ripped the door open and closed it soundly behind her. Staying mindful of Rossi and Kevin in the next room, she stalked over to his desk and turned his chair around to face her, "What the hell were you thinking?"

He glanced up from the divorce papers he'd just signed and focused his dark gaze at her and did a double take at her hair. _When had she gotten the bangs?_ He shook his head and furrowed his eye brows, remembering her previously asked question, "What are you talking about?"

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest while shaking her head and chewing her bottom lip. She shook her head and gave a light scoff of laughter, "Don't you dare play dumb Aaron Hotchner." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, mussing her bangs as she stared at his still blank expression. She couldn't help the incredulous laugh that escaped her lips as she leaned her head towards him and lifted her shoulders, "Is there something you wanted to share? A minor little detail about what went down during your 'routine interview'? Maybe that you were going to fight a convicted serial killer?"

As the color began to drain from his face, she fought the urge to smack him and took several steps away from him, heading to the window in his office and looking out ofit. Her pearly white teeth sought their familiar location at the corner of her lower lip as she studied the landscape of Quantico beneath her and took a long slow breath. He'd planned on telling her, eventually but now that she'd found out about it from Reid, all his original plans had to be scraped. He stood silently and closed the blinds that faced out into the bullpen before moving over to her, wanting desperately to reach for her and reassure her and allay her fears when she began to speak in a low, soft, broken tone, "What the hell were you thinking, Aaron?"

She turned to look at him and jumped slightly at his closeness. Her eyes were glassy as she leaned her backside against the window ledge, keeping her arms crossed over her chest and she surveyed him in front of her, "Seriously, Aaron, what were you thinking? Did you think it would be a turn on? Did you think that fighting him would make me hot for you?" She snorted and shrugged, "Maybe a better question is, were you even thinking?"

He rolled his eyes and gave her the patented Hotch stare. She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head, "I deserve an answer to that question, Hotch. I deserve more than that damned stare. That look never worked on me and you know it." She narrowed her eyes and grit her jaw as she whispered to him, wanting nothing more than to scream at him but knowing that would only alert people to the suspicious nature of their conversation, "I can't believe you. You're so full of shit. If I did something like that I'd have you all over me. The team would be breathing down my neck, you'd be reprimanding me for my 'questionable behavior', Strauss would be calling for me to be put on some kind of probation. Why is it suddenly supposed to be okay when you do?"

He took several steps forward and pinned her tight to the window sill, his chest pressing hard against her crossed arms as he gripped the granite slab framing the window behind her, "Because I did it to protect someone. I wasn't in there alone, Emily. Reid wouldn't have stood a chance against that guy. If anyone was going to take him on, it was going to be me, and I would've gone down fighting to protect him. I would've done it for any of you. We're a team. That's what we do. We protect our own."

He watched her throat as she swallowed hard and turned her head from him, trying desperately to hide the growing emotions in her eyes. He leaned closer and rested his lips to her ear, "And yes, in retrospect, I suppose I thought it might make you a little hot; knowing that I still had the ability to protect you, if necessary."

She scoffed lightly and pulled her head away from him, turning her eyes to meet his and finally, after several long moments of silent feuding crossing their gazes, she unfurled her arms and wrapped them around his neck, holding him tight to her and breathing out an uneven sigh as he slowly eased his arms around her and held her back. She inhaled his unique scent in and raked her nails through the short hairs on his neck, "You're a jack ass, you know that?"

He chuckled lightly and rocked her side to side slowly, rubbing her back in soothing circles, "So I've been told." He leaned back and smirked before running his index finger along her bangs, watching them flutter with the movement, before he crooked his eyebrow at her. She grinned warmly and shrugged, "Surprised?"

He flashed her a dimple and nodded, "Surprised… doesn't even begin to cover it."

She pouted slightly and furrowed her slightly hidden eyebrows, "You don't like it?"

He shook his head quickly and captured the back of her neck in his hand, "When did I say that? It's just new. It's going to take some getting used to but it's good on you. Real good." He brushed his finger over them again, in the opposite direction and sighed, "When I left on Monday morning, I didn't expect that by my return on Wednesday you'd've change your hairstyle this much."

She shrugged and moved her hands to his chest, tenderly stroking it and smiled at him gently, "Well, I wasn't really planning on it either but then I read an article about how some women use their hair to help them physically express a change in their life."

He took her bait and grinned as one of his hands captured one of hers on his chest, before bringing it to his lips to place a gentle kiss to her knuckles, "Change, huh? Anything I need to know about?"

She shrugged and hummed in contemplation, reaching up and gliding her fingers and palm across his cheek and down to his neck, "Hm… are you asking professionally or personally?"

He leaned his forehead to hers and grinned, "Either."

She closed her eyes and slid her hands down and around to his back, holding him close and moaning lightly as he rubbed her lower back in solid strokes, "I think you're pretty much all caught up to speed, Agent Hotchner."

He leaned in and brushed his lips along hers as he spoke, "Good." He pressed his lips to hers harder and cuddled her close for several moments before hearing the sound of his door being opened. He tugged her close hugging her tight and releasing her with a soft nod. She immediately stepped into the concerned professional agent role and smiled weakly before she glanced around him, sighing in relief at seeing Rossi there. She shook her head and reached up, wiping the slight remnants of her lipstick form his lips and smiling at him warmly. He winked at her and turned around, his smile growing slightly at being caught by the elder agent who had figured them out early on. Dave rolled his eyes and shut the door behind him, "I seem to be doing that a lot lately."

He grinned at the perplexed expression on both agents faces and jutted his thumb over his shoulder, "Couple nights ago, I went to talk to that tech girl at her house and found the tech guy there. Awkward isn't anywhere near adequate enough to describe the feelings that incident inspired and this… runs a close second." He nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets, "Something I imagine would be akin to a parent catching their teenager making out. I'm not sure if I want to walk out and pretend this never happened or congratulate you, Aaron."

Emily smirked and had the decency to drop her head and blush before lifting her head and shrugging, "I'll save you both the trouble of having to address the big pink elephant in the room by just going back out there." She ran her hand over Aaron's shoulder and down his back, giving him a reassuring nod before heading past Rossi with a respectful nod and then quickly exiting the office, shutting the door securely behind her.

Dave turned to Aaron with a wide grin and nodded after her, "In the office, Aaron?"

Aaron sighed and nodded, "Long story, Rossi." He matched the older man's stance, his hands instantly finding his pockets as they looked at each other before taking seats in the guest chairs in his office. Rossi stared at him for several long moments before sighing, "How's things with Haley?"

Aaron nodded to his desk and shrugged, "Signed the papers. Just need to send them to the attorney and we're done with the whole thing."

Rossi tilted his head and pursed his lips, "Uncontested, huh?" He took a deep breath and crossed his legs, "Does she know about…"

Aaron's nod stopped the rest of the question from being asked and he chuckled, "How'd that conversation go?"

Aaron sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair, "It wasn't one of the better conversations I've had, but… it is what it is, Dave. I think it's going to be hard for everyone involved for a little bit but… I think it's going to work out."

Dave nodded and looked at the picture on Aaron's desk, "When does she get to meet Jack?"

Aaron's soft scoff filled the room and he shook his head, "Whenever she's ready, Dave. I'm not going to push her. This isn't like meeting the in-laws that she'd have to see at Christmas and Thanksgiving only. This is my son. I want her to be comfortable before I just throw him into the mix. If that means going a couple weekends a month, until she's ready, then so be it."

"You want my opinion?"

Aaron tilted his head in acceptance and grit his jaw in anticipation before Rossi began to speak, "I think she's ready. I think she's terrified of it and the rejection that might occur, but I think she's ready." He shrugged and watched as Aaron stood and moved over to his desk, staring at the papers and then Jack's picture, "Yeah?"

Dave nodded and moved over to Aaron's desk, looking at the photo with him, "I heard Glen Echo Park has a couple puppet shows going right now. I guess they have a pretty interesting carousel too. Maybe you should think about spending some quality time with him this weekend? See if Haley will give him to you for Saturday?"

He nudged the younger man lightly and gave a supportive nod, watching proudly as he put the framed picture down and folded the papers. Aaron slipped them into the inner pocket of his sport coat and nodded to him, "Thanks, Dave."

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It took a lot to rattle Emily Prentiss' armor clad, rock solid, unshakable self confidence.

Serial killers, arsonists, rapists, dead bodies, cannibals, none of them shook her.

A 3 year old toddler did the trick though.

Specifically, 3 year old Jack Hotchner.

Nothing could scare her like this kid. She was literally shaking with nerves as she pulled up to the park and climbed out of her car. Arriving separately had been her idea. In her mind, the longer she put off any kind of confrontation with Haley, the better. Aaron had officially submitted the signed papers Wednesday evening, and had then proceeded to come to her place to celebrate over and over and over again. It was 3 days later and she was surprised she wasn't still sore from the number of encounters and the ferocity of them. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind from all dirty thoughts as much as possible, not wanting to even have the potential of scarring the young child exist. They'd decided to spend the rest of the working week separate, biding their time after Rossi caught them in office. The only thought that had gotten her through the week was that Saturday would be her day with him. Then he'd alerted her that they'd have Jack and her plans of seduction and innumerable sexual encounters faded dramatically.

Jack.

There it was again. The name that could reduce a gun toting, door kicking, all around bad ass to Jell-o. She ran a nervous hand through her long brunette locks and climbed out of the car, sighing softly at seeing Hotch standing at the gates to the park with the young child tucked safely into his arms. She approached and smiled as he nodded to the boy, already asleep in his arms. She smirked and stepped up next to him, leaning up and brushing her lips over her lover's gently, "Tire him out already?"

He shrugged with one shoulder and smiled, "He was so excited about the carousel that he just wore himself out on the car ride over."

She pouted slightly and hummed, "So, what's the game plan then, Dad?"

His eyes softened at her warm tone and he leaned in, kissing her once more before turning and nodding to a bench, shaded by a tree, "Let's let him at least one ride before we leave."

She nodded her assent quickly and walked over with him, accepting the boy's tiny legs and feet onto her lap as Aaron pillowed up his jacket on his lap for his son's head to rest on. He watched as she tentatively reached over and stroked her fingers through his light brown hair. She grew more confident in her actions as time progressed and several minutes later was tenderly gliding her fingers across his son's scalp in soothing, tender caresses. Her own head dropped to Aaron's shoulder as she looked down at the sleeping boy, a smile curling on her lips as she studied his features and tried to identify which belonged to Aaron. Nearly an hour later, as the boy's brown eyes blinked open she'd decided that nearly ever feature on the boys face was inherited from the man sitting next to her. The young boys brown eyes settled on her and she added one more inherited trait to her list. This little man was going to be as big of a heartbreaker as his father was. He struggled to sit up, finally letting Aaron pick him up and sit him on his lap. He stared straight at Emily with wide confused eyes before looking at his father uncertainly. Aaron smiled and took the lead, "Jack, this is Emily. Can you say hello?"

Emily smiled and waved, cooing as Jack turned and buried his face in Aaron's neck. She bit her lip and smiled at the boy, "Hi Jack. It's really nice to meet you." She glanced at Aaron, seeing the boy's face still hidden and tentatively reached over, settling her hand on his tiny knee, "I hear you like carousels."

The boy's head perked from his father's shoulder slightly and he slowly nodded before Emily continued, "There's a great big carousel right over there. Think you'd like to go for a ride on it with your daddy?"

He nodded again, squirming slightly as Aaron put him down on the ground and took his hand. Aaron's other hand extended for her and she shook her head, taking the jackets and Jack's tiny backpack and nodding to the ride, "You go. It's your day with him." She stood and rested her hand to his back, "He got to meet me. Go have some fun time with him. You don't have him for long."

She couldn't help the smile of pride that emerged on her face several moments later as she watched Aaron and Jack climb onto the carousel, Aaron holding his son on a horse statue and pointing her out in the crowd. The young boy waved shyly and then ducked his head into his father's chest once more. She chuckled lightly and winked at the two males before hearing the ride engage and watching as Jack's head popped up and he began bouncing in excitement. His loud squeals of joy mixed in with the other children's as they moved around and around. Their final go around he waved at Emily on his own and she swore she felt her heart burst in her chest.

"Did'cho see me, Em'ly?"

She smiled as the young boy ran to her and stood in front of her proudly, chest puffed out and smile wide. She knelt down to his level and nodded, ruffling his hair lightly, "I sure did, Jack! Did you have fun?"

He nodded and raised his hand to her, "We go again?"

Her eyebrows lifted as she looked at him and then up at his father who had joined them. Aaron gave a nod and took the items in her arms before giving her a slight nudge and watching Emily take his son's hand and lead him onto the ride. He watched her as she placed him on a different carousel animal this time and couldn't help but think about what a great mother she had the potential to be. His ears perked hearing the delighted giggles and screams that his son was emitting with each rotation, and as the ride progressed he heard the unmistakable sound of Emily's own laughter mixing with his. In that moment he realized, if he hadn't already been absolutely in love with her, he was now.

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She sighed as she parked her car in her apartment parking lot later that night, having said goodbye to Jack and Aaron at the park and stopped to grab some groceries to make dinner for herself before driving home alone. It'd gone so much better than she had expected it to. The young boy was so easy to fall in love with and he seemed so quick to accept her. She sat in her car for several more moments, digesting the feelings she had and couldn't stop the soft giggle that escaped her at recalling all the small moments she'd had with him and his father; watching the boy try to eat cotton candy, watching his amazement at the puppet show, the umpteen rides on the carousel. She tucked a strand of her brunette hair behind her ear and grabbed her paper bag of food supplies before heading up to her apartment. She entered her home and paused at the door, immediately sensing that someone else was there. She set her groceries down and shut the door behind her quickly. She craned her neck to look into the kitchen and relaxed as his solid frame came into her view. She walked into her kitchen, bag on her hip, and leaned against her counter watching him dish up the food he'd brought with him.

He caught her out of the corner of his eyes and turned his head. He smiled and ceased his task, before fully turning around and looking at her. She smiled warmly and tilted her head, "What are you doing?"

He shrugged and stayed where he was at, his eyes running up and down her body and stopping on her bag of groceries, "Feeding you. What do you have there?"

She glanced in at her week's worth of microwaveable TV dinners and the wine she'd bought and set it on the counter, "Nothing important. What did-"

Her words were silenced as his mouth settled on hers securely, ceasing any further conversation. One of his large hands fisted in her hair as the other captured the back of her neck, both situated to hold her close to him as they shared long, slow, all-consuming kisses. She felt her legs go to jelly as he moved his mouth from hers and slowly trailed it down the front of her neck and over to the spot below her ear that he'd discovered was her weak spot. Her hands gripped his shoulders tight, clinging to him, as he manipulated his mouth over the spot, leaving a darkened mark there before moving his mouth to her ear and breathing out in hot puffs of air. He pulled his face back and pressed her body into the counter's edge hard. Her half-lidded, dark gaze lifted and met his as he reached down and tore the tee-shirt she was wearing over her head. He quickly stripped her of the rest of her clothing as he pushed her up onto the surface, his body situated between her legs.

Aaron held her face and kissed her. It was a long, deep, tongue twining kiss that left them both breathing deeply as he pulled away and stripped himself bare. He tugged her to the edge of the counter and slid his hand down the expanse of her skin, trailing his fingertips over her breasts and abdomen before settling it low on her stomach. A soft thud resounded from her kitchen cabinet as her head dropped back into it in pleasure as his gun-calloused fingers stroked the skin of her lower abdomen and upper thighs. He slowly drew a hand form her ankle to her knee, then up the inside of her thigh before he covered her with his palm and kissed her cheek gently, "You were amazing today."

She nodded as she bit her lip but said nothing.

He smirked and looked at her, watching her as he touched her in slow, languid strokes that sent shivers up and down her spine. She clawed lightly at the counter before gripping his solid shoulders in her hands and sinking her recently manicured nails into the taut skin she found there. as he moved his fingers against her, she cried out his name, stunned and overwhelmed by the tidal waves of arousal that swept over her time and time again until she was weak and trembling in his arms. Aaron took her mouth, swallowing down her moans and relishing every sound, every move. Her soft whimpers and begging for him seemed to fall on deaf ears as his hand pulled away from her. She blinked her eyes open and lifted her head, only for her breath to hitch in her throat as his mouth replaced his hand on her. She almost felt like she couldn't breathe. Her long fingers twined into his hair, stroking the strands lovingly and slowly gripping at it as desperate pleasure tightened her chest. His name echoed around her kitchen in a rough, husky tone that she'd never thought she'd possessed.

And then he was there, face to face with her and kissing her hard. She could taste a light musk on his tongue and lips and it only pushed her closer to the edge. She raked her nails down his back lightly and grinned as he cursed and moaned her name softly. He leaned back and studied the scene in front of him. Emily Prentiss naked on her solid granite countertop, long legs open and her breath coming fast… yes, this was as close to Heaven as he was ever going to get. He gripped her waist tenderly and held her close to his body, trapping the evidence of his arousal between them as he kissed her. The kiss spoke not so much of hot, unbridled desire and greedy want, but rather of something deeper, something beautiful and caring that made Emily want him even more.

She pressed her body towards him suggestively and leaned her head away, her hand reaching down and stroking over him once, twice, then a third time before he gripped her wrist and moved her hand to his shoulder. It wasn't news to him, how perfectly they fit together, but as her hips cradled his, her breasts cushioning his chest, and her mouth there for him at the perfect angle, he realized how different she really was. Aaron tried to go slow, to ease into her and drive her to madness slowly, but she tilted her hips against him, urging him on, and he pressed partially into her in a blaze of heat.

He groaned lightly and rested his mouth over her shoulder, his voice a light growl as he tried to rein in his quickly disappearing self control, "Damn it, Emily."

She responded in a breathy chuckle and pressed her body firmly against his, "Don't stop, Aaron."

He shook his head and gripped her tight as she caught her breath and tensed in preparation for him. He cupped a hand under her bottom and lifted her more, sinking further into her, inch by glorious inch. He sighed softly as he finally rested deep inside her and hissed his approval lightly. For a long moment neither of them moved, only stared into each other's eyes as their bodies clung tightly to the others. Her arms wrapped around his back as their heartbeats mirrored each other in a wild rhythm before he began to move against her. His precise, deep, long strokes began the rise of a new tension within her. All her nerves endings ignited as she arched against him, seeking another release. When it came she whimpered his name lightly and dropped her head back, exposing the long column of her throat for him. He took open advantage of the alabaster skin and licked and kissed along it, as he crashed into his release as well, whispering her name along her skin and gripping her hips so tight she was sure she'd have bruises.

They struggled for breath together, their bodies damp and scents combined. It might have only been days since they'd last been together, but it felt like he'd waited a whole lifetime for this moment. She proved she felt the same way as she dropped a kiss to his sweaty shoulder and nuzzled his neck lightly, "Where did that come from?"

He chuckled and stayed tight against her, keeping their intimate connection for as long as he could. He framed her face with his hands and ran the pads of his thumbs over her cheek, "I've wanted to do that the whole day. Watching you with him, damn it, Emily…" He licked his lips and lightly tugged her head to his, their foreheads and noses pressing together, "It was so much more than I ever could've asked for."

She smiled warmly and wrapped her arms around his neck, rubbing her nose against his playfully, "He's a great kid, Aaron. It's impossible not to get along with him." She groaned as he pulled away and slid her off the counter top.

He held her body against his and kissed the top of her head gently, "He absolutely adored you. I think he asked if he'd get to see you again upwards of 10 times."

She grinned and hummed lightly, hugging her lover's body to hers before leaning back and running a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs back, "Have you talked to him about the divorce?"

He shook his head and ran his hand across her bare back, "I don't know what I'd say, Emily."

She stepped away, reaching down and grabbing his boxers, throwing them to him quickly before grabbing his casual tee and sliding it on over her head. She returned to his arms minutes later and hugged him close, "I think you just need to make sure he understands that Daddy won't be around as much. Tell him that he didn't do anything wrong, and that you still love him. He doesn't need all the nitty gritty details, Aaron. But he deserves to know, and I think you need to be the one to tell him."

He kissed the top of her head and cuddled her to his chest tenderly, "When did you become such an expert on parenting?"

She snorted and rolled her eyes, "Are you forgetting my 'happy childhood'? I grew up in a family that kept this kind of stuff silent and tried to make things seem they were okay. Communication makes families work, Aaron. Look at our job. How many times could some of the things we've seen been prevented if communication had been better?"

She shrugged and dropped her forehead to his shoulder, "I just don't want Jack to grow up and feel like it was his fault. I don't want him to have issues with love and relationships and abandonment because his parents broke up and no one ever talked with him about it."

Aaron leaned back, watching her solemnly and then tucked his index finger under her chin, lifting her face to look at him and feeling his heart break at the red edges of her large brown eyes. He grit his jaw, wanting desperately to give her family a piece of his mind, before cupping the side of her neck in his hand and running his thumb along her jaw line. He cursed her family for shaking her like this and then cursed himself, for not thinking about what Jack's involvement in her life would dredge up for her. He knew bits and pieces of her childhood, knew that she'd been packed around with nanny after nanny and then shipped off to boarding schools and the like while her mother and father played the political circuit. He knew that she'd taken a back seat to them, and he should've known that her first priority would be making sure that his own son wouldn't suffer that same fate. "Listen to me."

She gave a small nod and blinked as a slow tear slid down her cheek.

"You know Haley. More importantly, you know me. Jack's not ever going to feel like he's to blame. I won't allow it."

He swallowed and wiped the tear from her cheek as he continued, "I love that you're so worried about him, though. I do. And no, I haven't forgotten what kind of family you come from. I knew a lot of the dirt on them by the time I left."

He tucked some of her dark hair behind her ear and smiled slightly, "You are a beautiful, caring, compassionate woman. A woman, I've been lucky enough to meet in several incarnations. Once as a rebellious 21 year old, home from college for the holidays. Then, as an agent who's love for her job helped make her a critical part of the team in just a matter of weeks. Now, you're the reason I wake up in the morning, the reason that I'm not lying in bed feeling like I'm going to die because my marriage just broke up."

His smile grew and he rested his forehead to hers, "And one day, when you're ready, you're going to be an incredible mother. You'll have nothing to worry about, because you aren't your mother. You aren't a cold, driven, bitter woman who will sacrifice everything and everyone around her for the sake of her job. You're the same warm, caring woman I met years ago, and that I love right now."

She was silent.

Physically speechless.

Part of her wanted to make some dumb joke and ask what lame romance novel he'd been reading, part of her wanted to strip him down and repeat their earlier performance, and part of her, the biggest part, just wanted to hold him and cry. She hugged him tight and pressed her lips to his cheek, whispering her love for him. She might not have been ready to commit to a family, house, and gold ring with Aaron Hotchner at that moment; but he was slowly convincing her that maybe someday, she would be.

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><p><em><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Like it? Want more of it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	13. 3x15 Higher Power

**A/N:** Chapter 13. Who would've thought? I want to begin first and foremost by thanking my reviewers from last chapter. **x-MJ-x, sarahb2007, charmony, maguchi, HGRHfan35, HPforever-after, greengirl82, moon27, tigerlily888, tigerlily02, this-love-is-sirius, rugbygirrl, MeGkAtHeRiNe:** I really appreciate you guys taking time to drop me a note and tell me how you felt about the piece. I work hard putting them together and getting them edited and ready so, it's nice to know you all like it.

As a THANK YOU to all my reviewers and my readers I put together a Fan Mix for you all, based on the chapters of the fic. You can download it here: **www(dot)mediafire(dot)com / ?c6i5xdo3od8aunm (( obviously replace (dot) with a . and delete the spaces. ))**

**TO MY AMAZING BETA, Michelle: **I don't think there's a word in the dictionary that can properly and fully describe my adoration of you. You're such an amazing beta and an even greater friend. This chapter wouldn't be possible without the help you offered. Thank you so much for everything.

**greengirl82 and Tigerlily888: **Your input has been so helpful this time around. I am so grateful to have friends and readers like you. :) xx

**This chapter is meant to follow episode **3x15 "Higher Power"**.**

**_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** _**I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

****Disclaimer in Chapter 1!****

* * *

><p><strong>"To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there." - <strong>**Barbara Bush**

Silence.

It was all that surrounded her.

That and the sound of her soft pants for air as she moved.

There was nothing that needed her attention. No calls to be returned. No one begging her for help on consults. Right now, it was her time.

Alone and focused on herself.

She'd never fancied herself a contemplative personality. She had grown up being the wild child living her life for the day and never really putting much thought into her actions. She'd flown by the seat of her pants and as she'd gotten older had still maintained that. In the field, she was always the first one to jump into the action and volunteer or accept responsibility for being the bait; all things that only stressed how non-contemplative she was. And then cases like this would happen, and suddenly that switch would flip and she'd find herself letting her mind run over things that were bothering her.

She shook her head lightly, several drops of sweat freeing themselves from her skin with the movement as she tried to refocus on the task at hand. She swallowed lightly and licked her lips as she fought to get her mind to center on the pounding in her chest. She ran a hand over her hair, wiping the sweat back into the raven locks as she glanced down at the pedometer on her hip and shook her head.

The only sound in the silence was smack of her tennis shoes on the treadmill as she ran hard and fast, fighting to feel better about everything she'd seen and experienced in the last few days. Morgan's escape was his properties, hers was the BAU gym. She panted lightly as she kept her strides long and precise, hoping her speed and agility would be the things that could help her outrun the demons chasing her. The case, Aaron's divorce, Haley's knowledge of their relationship, it all seemed to be catching up to her; no matter how fast or hard she ran, it always seemed to come back and bare its ugly head to her.

Right now, the proverbial wheels in her mind were spinning about Aaron taking her advice and going to talk to Jack. A part of her, a bigger part than she'd ever admit, was curious about what he said to his son; had he told him that 'daddy was going away', that 'he and his mommy were going to be living at home without daddy', or something even simpler for the young child to understand? She ran through cliche lines for about an hour before she turned off her exercise machine and climbed off it. She wanted to pace, desperately, but after running 8 miles on the treadmill her legs felt similar to jello. Her hand tugged lightly at the rubber band holding her hair back and she groaned as her long strands fell to her shoulders. She stepped into the co-ed locker room and headed to her locker, opening it and staring into the dark space for several moments.

"Hey."

She jolted and turned around, her body slamming into the lockers behind her as she clutched her chest and panted, "Damn it, Morgan. If you ever sneak up on me like that again, I swear to God…"

He chuckled softly and held his hands up in front of him as he stared at her from his perch on the bench in the locker room, "Fair enough."

Her eyes hardened as she glared at him, "How long were you going to sit there before you said anything?"

He grinned and eyed her playfully, "I was going to wait until you noticed me but… your observation skills clearly need work." He narrowed his eyes and folded his hands on the bench in front of him, "You okay, Princess?"

She raised an eyebrow and took a long, deep breath, "Why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugged and stood up, stepping over the bench and walking towards her, arms extended at his side, "No idea. I've just been noticing that you're acting different. We've all noticed. No one wants to say anything but…" He leaned his back to the locker next to her and eyed her warily, "I'm your partner. There's nothing you can't come to me about. Come on, stop playing games. Let's talk."

She chewed her lip and dropped her eyes fidgeting slightly and debated whether or not she should go there with him, before sighing and sitting down on the bench. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and dropping her head in her hands. "I just have a lot on my mind right now, Derek. A lot of personal shit that just seems to be distracting me lately."

He nodded and straddled the spot on the bench next to her, "Yeah. I know. What's going on?"

She huffed and ran a hand through her hair, "I'm seeing someone and things are…" She shrugged and shook her head, "To say things are complicated is an understatement. He's absolutely incredible and such a great guy, but there's so much other stuff going on that I… I don't even know where to begin."

He nodded and reached over, resting his hand on her back and rubbing in soothing circles, "You talk to him about this?"

She snorted and nodded, "Yeah. We've talked about everything that's going on between us, and things are great. I mean… I really care about him, Derek. I do. I'm just…" She raked her hands across her face and shook her head as she shrugged in resignation, "I love him, but being with him is dredging up shit from my past that I really am unsure about wanting to deal with and right now, I just… I don't know if I'm ready to deal with it."

He sighed and tilted his head, catching her eyes with his concerned ones, "What's it making you think of?"

She licked her lips and swallowed hard, "Family. My future. Being a mother. Being a wife. If I even really want any of that…" she dropped her eyes and sighed, "It's just hard, Derek."

He smiled and nudged her, "_Do_ you want that?"

She slowly bopped her head back and forth and finally shrugged, "I think so." She swallowed hard and licked her lips, giving it more thought and then speaking low, in almost a whisper, her voice shaking as if finally admitting it would make some horrible Earth ending event take place, "Yeah. I do. I do want it, _especially_ with him, I just… I don't want to complicate things more with him."

He narrowed his eyes and leaned into her slightly, "You're not telling me the full story, are you?"

She shook her head and rested her palm on his knee, "It's better this way, Derek. Trust me. The less you know the better it'll be." She smiled and gave his knee a squeeze, "Now, get lost so I can go take a shower and go home."

He smirked and eyed her, "I don't know. I think I might want to stay for that."

She snorted and rolled her eyes, "Yeah, right. Don't you have some hot little blonde number who's desperately waiting for your call?"

He grinned and hugged her gently, "You always come first."

She chuckled lightly and hugged him back, "Get lost, Morgan. Before I have to slap you with a sexual harassment complaint."

_**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

She supposed it was natural to feel this way. To feel knots forming in the pit of her stomach every time the other woman's name was brought up. It wasn't that she didn't like her so much as she didn't like feeling like she was second banana to a woman who had never really mattered in her life. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes as yet another colorful picture was held up in the small hand of Jack Hotchner.

"What'cha drawing, sweetie?"

He grinned and pointed at the paper, "Tha's Daddy, and me, and Em'ly at the park."

Haley felt her stomach roll again as she forced a smile onto her mouth and nodded, "Oh yeah? Did you have fun with Daddy at the park?"

He nodded and put the paper back down on the table, his hand immediately reaching for another crayon to keep adding to the drawing, "Yeah… but Em'ly's more funner than Daddy."

Haley nodded and swallowed the large lump forming in her throat, "Is that right?"

He nodded and kept his attention on the paper, coloring in the large object that Haley surmised to be a carousel, "Mmmhmmm. And Daddy says I get to see her again soon."

His mother's silence caused him to lift his eyes from the paper and he grinned widely, "Did'cho know that Em'ly fights the bad guys like Daddy?"

Haley nodded slowly and blinked against the onslaught of tears, "Yeah, Jack, I know."

He dropped his crayon and held the completed drawing out to her, "Mommy, think if I gave it to Em'ly she'd hang it on her fridge?"

Haley's heart plummeted to the pit of her stomach as her son folded the paper up and carried it over to his suitcase, for the next time he'd get to see his father. She'd lost her husband to the brunette, and now she was losing her son.

_**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

_What the fuck am I doing?_

She stared at the door, her dark eyes taking in every detail of the worn wood, each fleck of missing paint, as she reminded herself that sometimes changing things for the better, meant being in uncomfortable positions. Her nerves seemed to be on fire as she stood at the door, her hand poised to knock but insecurity flooding her chest and abdomen. She massaged at the nerves that were flexing tight across her ribcage and took a long slow breath. She breathed it out in a long huff and licked her lips before rapping her knuckles on the wood and taking a step away from it, giving plenty of room so she could duck and run if necessary.

She heard the lock disengage and felt her stomach lurch into her throat. She swallowed down the bile in the back of her throat and dropped her head as the door opened. For the second time that night, silence surrounded her. She could almost feel the heartbeat of the person standing at the door radiating through the space around them. She lifted her head and looked straight into the light eyes that belonged to Haley Hotchner.

Haley's mouth fixed into a tight line as Emily licked her lips and held up her hands, palms facing the other woman in a sign of peace, "Haley, I just want to talk."

She swallowed at the silent response from the other woman and took it for acquiescence, "I don't know what you've heard. Frankly, I don't care. There are, however, some things that I feel you and I need to agree upon. If you don't want to talk to me, that's fine. But I expect you to listen."

Emily pushed the nerves and the desire to shake out of her head and cleared her throat lightly, "I know you don't want Jack around me. I understand that. I get why you'd feel like having another woman around him would confuse him. I am dating his father though, and if he is in his father's care, he is going to see me."

She took a deep breath and shook her head, "I don't want to be his mother and I certainly don't expect him to call me Mommy. Don't get me wrong, I think he's adorable and I enjoyed every minute I spent with him last week, but he is not the reason I'm with Aaron. "

She gulped slightly and shrugged, "It's very simple, Haley. I love him. He's a great man. As his friend, I should hate you for what you did to him; for letting him go like he's some common cheating bastard of a man who's treated you like garbage. As a woman, I feel like I should be bowing at your feet thanking you for giving me the chance to get to have him in my life; for giving me the chance to express feelings I had for him that I had given up on years ago."

She licked her lips and opened her hands at her sides, "Look, I don't care if we get along. I really have no interest in pretending to be friends or putting on a facade for people. I don't have to be accountable to anyone about his relationship with me. Not you, not our boss, not our team. The only person who's opinion matters to me is Aaron."

She nodded and huffed lightly, "I'm sorry if I interrupted your evening."

She turned and took one step off the porch before a soft cough caught her attention. She turned around and met Haley's eyes once more, her eyebrow rising as Haley gestured for her to come in. Emily worried her lips through her teeth for several long seconds before stepping into the house and letting the door shut behind her.

_**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

He hadn't had the opportunity to really talk to her since seeing Jack. Just looking at her made him want to break down and cry. Here he'd gone to see his son, to make sure he was okay, and all his son could do was ask about Emily and when they'd be able to go back to the carousel. To say he'd been floored by how quickly his son had taken to her, would be a large understatement. His surprise at his son was only rivaled by his surprise at Haley's icy demands that Emily stay far away from Jack and her accusations that him already introducing Emily to Jack made him an even worse parent than he already was.

Since that conversation, it took all of his self control to not go to her and hold her and tell her how much he truly cared for her. Seeing his son happy about being with her had done incredible things for his security in their newfound relationship, and Haley feeling threatened had only enhanced that. Haley was her own force to be reckoned with and he knew if she felt threatened by Emily, that Jack had been praising her non-stop. He had found numerous ways of distracting himself from her on the case, but now, being home here in DC, the only way to hide from her and his growing hopes for their future together was to stay in the office and do paperwork.

She felt rejuvenated, like someone had hooked her up to an IV of energy and motivation. Talking with Haley hadn't been pleasant but it had certainly been the thing that she'd needed. Sometimes finding out what went wrong before was the only way to make sure things stayed on course the second time. Even before talking to Haley though, she'd sensed he was pulling away from her. She wasn't stupid. She was onto his little game of 'hide-and-seek' and she knew better than to let him get away with it. He'd pushed Haley away by playing it, but Emily Prentiss wasn't one to just sit back and take being ignored. Her assertive yet tentative strides carried her through the dark, empty BAU bull pen and straight up to his door. Her movements slowed as she opened the door without knocking and stepped into his office, her stomach plummeting as she realized she'd walked in on a very personal moment. There he was, the tough as nails BAU unit chief staring out the window in his office with unshed tears lining his dark eyes.

He didn't show emotion often, in fact he prided himself on not showing emotion with the team, but everything that had happened of late was just too much for him to bear. He ran a hand over his face, wishing away the tears that were glistening in his eyes as he looked at her. His clothing was clearly disheveled and his face drawn tight with emotion. His eyes lifted to her and he sighed as she tugged the door closed behind her and tilted her head, "Hotch?"

He shrugged and licked his lips as he shook his head, "That door was closed for a reason, Prentiss."

She smirked and nodded slowly, trying to bring a little light into the room, knowing he needed it, "You know, it's just a piece of wood, Hotch. It doesn't seal this area off like Fort Knox when you close it."

He couldn't help but smile at her dry tone and wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand, "Something I can help you with?"

She shook her head, "Nope." She chewed her lower lip for a moment before stepping closer and, keeping her earlier comment about the flimsy piece of wood in mind, reached out and touched his forearm gently as she whispered softly, "Are you okay?"

He nodded slowly, "Yeah. I'm good." He gave her a half-hearted smile and met her dark concerned eyes, before dropping his smile, shaking his head and moistening his lips, "I don't know. A lot happened when I went to go see him. It's just hard. Having to explain a divorce to your son… and knowing he doesn't understand anything at all about it." He let out a bitter sigh and dropped his eyes, "I just feel like I'm letting him down; like I'm being the bad parent that Haley likes to tell me I am."

She shook her head as her eyebrows knitted together, "No. No, you aren't a bad parent. Your priorities might be a little askew at times, but you're not a bad parent. Bad parents are the bastards we put away. The ones that hit and rape and torture their kids." She took a chance and reached up, her palm touching his cheek and immediately comforting him with the skin to skin friction, "We both know you're not being the best parent you can be, but you love that little boy. I've seen you take care of him and interact with him and no, loving him is not nearly the same as being at every event, but it's just as important. Maybe even more-so sometimes."

He gave her a weak smile and covered her hand on his cheek with his own larger hand, "It just feels like I'm letting him down. Every time I have to walk away, it just… It feels like I'm telling him I don't love him."

She nodded, "I know, it does, Aaron. But we've talked about this." She scoffed softly and shook her head, "Trust me on this one, when you have an absentee parent, you're a little more adept at picking up on who the good parents are." She ran her thumb over the apple of his cheek and leaned up quickly, brushing her lips against his and wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, "You're a good parent to him, Aaron. I don't ever want to hear you talk about being a bad parent. Ever."

He hugged her slim form to his body and held her tight, "I can't promise you anything. But I'll work on it." He leaned back from her, keeping her body close to his with one arm, he raised his other hand and ran his fingers through her hair. He held the back of her head in his palm and looked straight into her eyes, "I couldn't have gotten through this without you, Emily."

She shrugged and chuckled, "Right…"

He shook his head and gave her hip a gentle squeeze, "I'm serious. There's nothing easy about this whole situation and you still manage to keep me on the straightest path possible."

She smiled and rested her hand over his hand that rested on her hip, giving their joined hands a small squeeze, "Isn't that part of being in a relationship with someone though? Being there when they need you?"

He nodded and shrugged before leaning his head forward to hers and resting his forehead to hers, "Not sure how you're going to feel about this but, apparently,you're all my son can talk about."

She chuckled softly and hummed lightly, "Should I be prepared for his mother coming after me? Will I have to check my car for a bomb every time I get in? Start looking over my shoulder all the time?"

He laughed and shook his head, the movement moving her head in opposite directions and their noses rubbing, "I wouldn't worry about it. She'll calm down eventually. Besides that, you have a protection detail."

She smirked and leaned back from him, eyeing him slowly before tilting her head, "Oh yeah? How do I know you know what you're doing Agent Hotchner?"

He smiled and shrugged, "Want to call your mother?"

She laughed softly and shook her head, "Ha, no. She's actually scarier than Haley is." She licked her lips and sighed, "Aaron, I… I think you need to sit down."

She walked him over to the sofa in his office and sat him down, her hands holding his in his lap as she met his eyes with hers, "I went to see her… Haley… and we talked."

His eyebrows rose and she chuckled lightly, "I'm pretty sure she still wants to gut me like a fish for," she gestured between them in a silent expression of their relationship and sighed, "But I think we worked through some things that needed to be worked through as women. We talked about you quite a bit; talked about Jack."

She swallowed and squeezed his hands, "Aaron, I don't know how you feel about this and that's why I did itwithout telling you. I didn't want you to try to stop me but I needed to do this. I needed to take some time and really talk one on one with her."

She chewed on the corner of her lip as he stared at their joined hands in silence. "Aaron, please say something."

He released her hands and stood from her, taking several steps away before turning to look at her, his eyebrows knit together, "You didn't think you could talk to me about this? About wanting to talk to her?"

She blinked and opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted by him, "What made you think that going behind my back was a good idea, Emily? You should've known I would understand you wanting to discuss this with her."

She snorted, "Right, Aaron. You totally would've understood the fact that regardless of the fact that your divorce is finalized and all, that I still feel like the other woman. That I still feel dirty about what we're doing because we have to hide it from everyone. I can't tell my friends, I can't tell my partner… HELL, I don't even like coming to talk about my feelings to you. Yeah, you really would've understood." She scoffed and stood from the sofa, shrugging her shoulders as she headed for the door, "The only thing you seem to understand, Hotch, is how to push women that really give a damn about you away."

She ripped the door open and began to storm through the bull pen, her fury and hurt rippling off of her as she stabbed at the elevator button with her index finger over and over again.

He watched her leave and felt his breathing almost cease for a moment before he tore out of his office, running through the empty bull pen and sliding his hand between the now closing elevator doors, stopping them from sealing her away from him. He stepped into the confined space and panted lightly, looking at her as the box began its descent, "I'm sorry."

She snorted and shook her head, crossing her arms across her chest, "Go to Hell, Aaron."

He sighed and took a couple steps forward, his hands resting on her shoulders as he turned her to face him, "Do you know how hard it is for me to say those words? Are you really going to make me say them again?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and he smirked, leaning forward and resting his forehead to hers. His lips brushed hers over and over again as he repeated his pleas, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." The murmured phrase sounding softly through the slowly moving metal vessel. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight to his body, sighing softly in relief as her arms wrapped around him in return and her lips pressed against his, interrupting his apology and telling him he was forgiven. He pulled away slightly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, the backs of his fingers trailing across her cheekbone tenderly as he studied her, "Did talking with her really help?"

She nodded slowly and smiled, "Yeah, it did."

He smiled and ran his thumb over her lips, "Then that's all that matters."

She chuckled lightly and kissed him gently, "Thank you for trying to understand."

He hummed lightly and shrugged, his hands securing on her jean-clad backside. He held her close, then pulled away slightly, feeling the rustle of paper in her back pocket. He tugged the large piece of paper out and raised his eyebrow at her. She blushed and chewed her lip, "It's, uh… It's for my fridge."

He unfolded the paper and couldn't stop the large smile that formed on his lips upon seeing the drawing. She stepped up next to him, her smile matching his as she rubbed his back with her palm, "Haley gave it to me. He drew it after you left."

She sighed and shook her head with a soft chuckle, "Never thought I'd live to see the day that I'd be hanging a child's drawing on my refrigerator."

He laughed openly at that and glanced at her before looking at the crayon covered paper in his hands lovingly, "I have the feeling it's only going to be one of many."

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><p><em><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Like it? Want more of it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	14. 3x16 Elephant's Memory

**A/N:** **OH MY GOD! 16 REVIEWS YOU GUYS? OH MY GOD!** I am so amazed by all of you incredible, fabulous readers. Seriously. I am so touched at the response you all have given me. **scousedancer, Angel-Buffy-Booth-Brennan, Green-Elphaba-Thropp, SSAEmilyHotchner, x-MJ-x, sarahb2007, charmony, maguchi, HGRHfan35, HPforever-after, greengirl82, tigerlily888, tigerlily02, rugbygirrl, maggie06, BES008:** I have absolutely NO way to explain to you how touched I was. As I sat down to write my A/N, I actually got teary eyed. I do read and reply to all of the reviews and you make it worth it. Thank you SO much.

**TO MY AMAZING BETA, Michelle:** You are my life saver, my floatation device, my muse. This chapter wouldn't be possible without you. Legitimately. I think the second half of it was all your doing and I love you endlessly for it. :)

**greengirl82:** You know I love hearing from you and getting your input on things. :) How lucky am I to have you as a devoted reader and reviewer and friend? xx

**This chapter is meant to follow episode 3x16 "Elephant's Memory".**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go.** Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

* * *

><p><strong>"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future." - Lewis B. Smedes<strong>

It was heartbreaking seeing him like this.

She shifted slightly in her seat, watching him stare at the black computer screen in front of him intensely. She sighed lightly and chewed on her lower lip, her pearly whites tugging slightly at the full plump flesh. After several long moments, she stood and headed over to him, sitting down across from him, "Hey."

His large, brown eyes turned to hers and she swore he looked like someone kicked his puppy. He shrugged in greeting and turned back to the screen. Her lips formed a long thin line as she stared at him, "You know that what he did was wrong, right?"

Upon his silence and lack of acknowledgement of her statement, she repeated herself and leaned forward, touching his hand. He pulled his hand away from her, like she was fire and turned his dark eyes towards her, "Emily, you wouldn't get it. Okay? I know that he shouldn't have done it, but it doesn't mean I don't agree with what he did. Those people didn't care about him and they didn't help him."

He shook his head, "I can't help but feel like they had it coming."

She narrowed her eyes and she leaned back slightly, "I wouldn't get it?"

He snorted lightly and frowned, "No. You wouldn't. I'm pretty sure you never had to deal with that sort of thing."

Her jaw slackened slightly as her eyebrows rose toward her hairline, "You're kidding me, right?"

She shook her head and huffed out a bitter laugh, "Listen to me, Reid. Growing up, I wanted nothing more than to fit in. I got bullied and pushed around just as much as you did. I was always the new kid at school. I didn't have a best friend. I didn't have a clique I belonged with. More often than not, I was eating lunch alone and reading books. Hell, I was 16 and all I wanted was to fit in and not be the invisible nerdy girl I was."

His eyes softened as she spoke and she tentatively reached forward and touched his hand a second time, smiling lightly as his fingers entwined with hers, "Reid, we all got picked on. Every single one of us. That's part of what made us strong enough to do this job. You don't see the perky peppy cheerleader types working for the FBI do you?"

The corners of his mouth lifted in a small, timid smile and he shook his head. She chuckled softly and let her thumb rub in circles along the top of his hand, "That's because they're not tough. Our skins are so thick, they're like leather."

She squeezed his hand gently and smiled warmly, "Don't ever think you're alone like that. We're your friends, Reid. We're always going to be here for you."

He gave a small nod, his smile growing wider as they held hands in silence for several moments before she cleared her throat and detached her hand, "You going to be okay?"

He shrugged slightly and sighed, "I guess so."

She tilted her head in question and nudged him, "Want to talk about it?"

He swallowed and folded his hands in front of him, "I think I really upset Hotch and Morgan."

She rubbed his shoulder gently and shook her head, "I'm sure it's not as bad as you think. Especially with Morgan. He's a big boy. He'll get over it."

She took a deep breath and squeezed his shoulder, "What happened with Hotch?"

He dropped his head and studied his hands, "He told me that he should fire me for what I did at the station." He licked his lips and fidgeted in his chair, "I wasn't trying to create problems, Emily. I just didn't want them to hurt him. I knew he would put it down if someone tried to talk to him. He wasn't a bad kid. He just needed someone to tell him that it was okay; that they understood, instead of acting like he was some freak."

She scratched the back of her neck and nodded, "I know, Reid. But Hotch was right. What you did was dangerous. What you were doing could've ended horribly. I know you wanted to help him, but next time, try to do it in a way that isn't so extreme. Okay?"

He lifted his eyes to hers and she reached forward pinching his chin gently and smiled at him warmly. He returned her smile slowly before standing and reaching forward, pulling her into a tight hug and clinging to her. Her eyes widened in surprise slightly before she wrapped her arms around him, just as tight, and rocked him awkwardly. She leaned back from him, keeping her arms around him still and sighed, "Feel better."

He gave a quick nod and released her from his embrace. She reached up and ruffed his hair up, "So what are you going to do now?"

He glanced down at his watch, then stuffed his hands into his pockets, "I think I'm going to go catch the end of that 'movie'."

She sat down on the edge of his desk and crossed her arms over her chest, relief flooding her at knowing that he was going to return, "Sounds like a good plan."

He rocked back and forth from his heels to his toes slightly as he looked at her, debating on if inviting her along to his AA meeting was a good idea, and then deciding to do so anyway, "Do you want to come with me?"

She rolled her lips into her mouth and dropped her eyes, before scratching awkwardly at her neck, sensing his hesitancy immediately, "Reid, I… I'd love to, but I think this is something you need to do on your own. I'll always be here for you to talk to, but I think this movie is something you should go see on your own."

He gave her a resigned nod and pulled his hands from his pockets, before grabbing his messenger bag and pulling it on his shoulder. He gave her an uncomfortable smile and sighed lightly, "Thanks, Emily."

She winked at him and watched him turn and head out of the still well populated BAU bull pen, his head tilted down and his hands back in his pockets. She breathed out a long slow breath and then turned to look up at Aaron's still lit up office. She swallowed hard and walked to her desk, grabbing a few completed files from her desk and headed up to his office. She knocked softly, waiting for his admittance before opening the door and stepping into his office. She shut the door behind her and held the files in front of her. She walked over to his desk, feeling his eyes on her as she dropped the files down onto the pile on his desk. She swallowed hard and sat down opposite him, "Were you ever going to tell me?"

His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he stared at her, the smile that had been on his lips at seeing her in his office slowly disappearing as he tried to figure out what she was talking about. She lifted her eyes to his and sighed, "Did you think I wouldn't notice? That I wasn't going to figure it out?"

His expression was unchanging as he shook his head, "What are you talking about, Emily?"

She licked her lips, "You identified with him. You understood his feelings about being bullied. The physical and mental scars that come with that sort of treatment don't go away, do they?"

His eyes softened as he held her eyes and shook his head slowly. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "Who was it, Aaron?"

He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face, "My father."

Her eyes widened for a moment as her jaw slackened open, "Your father? That's who bullied you?"

He nodded, his face downturned as he finally, and openly, acknowledged one of his darkest demons to her. She moistened her lips and took a deep breath, "Aaron…"

"It terrifies me."

She knit her brows together in confusion as she studied him, "What does?"

He took a long slow deep breath, "The fact that that's inside me. That research shows that the child of an abuser more often than not abuses his own children."

Her heart plummeted to her stomach as she listened to him. She stood from the chair and moved around his desk, leaning her backside against the edge of his desk and tucking her index finger under his chin, directing his face up to look at her, "You can't honestly think you'd ever do something like that to Jack."

He opened his mouth and she pressed the pads of her three middle fingers over his lips, "You are the last person that I would ever picture doing that. The research doesn't say that all abused children become abusers. Yes, that's generally the norm, but when have you ever been normal, Aaron?"

She gave him a sideways grin and reached her hand around, her fingers sliding through his dark hair and massaging the back of his skull, "You are never going to do the things that he did."

She smiled wider as his eyes drifted shut and his head leaned back into her soft, gentle caresses, "You know, you aren't that different from Reid."

His eyes opened slowly, lazily, as he stared at her, a slight daze tainting his dark orbs. "How's that?"

She continued her ministrations for a few moments before stepping around behind his chair and resting her hands on his shoulders, her thumbs kneading at the back of his neck, "Hm, well, you both were bullied and survived it and turned it around; doing something good with it, instead of turning bitter and cold and repeating the behavior."

His head lulled forward as he hummed his agreement, his pen dropping to the file below his hand, "Think so?"

She leaned forward, and pressed a tender kiss to his temple and purred her agreement against his skin, "I do."

He turned his head, their noses almost touching as he looked at her, "Think I was too hard on him?"

She sighed and shook her head subtly, "No," she dragged the 'o' out for a few extra syllables and shrugged, "I just think you need to give the kid a break, sometimes. Remember, he's a little more sensitive than the rest of us. I think you just need to be a little bit more forgiving with him."

She pursed her lips and gave his shoulders a gentle squeeze, "Okay?"

He nodded and breathed out slowly, "Yeah." He reached up and took one of her hands off his shoulder, holding it in his gentle grasp as he tugged her around his chair to stand in front him. She leaned back against his desk and tilted her head, her hand warming instantly in his. He turned his hand in hers and slid his fingers through hers, "Why are you so protective of him?"

She smirked, "Pardon?"

He chuckled and nodded towards the bull pen, "Reid. Why are you protective of him?"

She snorted softly and shook her head, "I'm not-"

He raised his eyebrow and she stopped speaking abruptly before shrugging with a nod, "Ok, I guess I am."

At his gentle smile, she ran a hand through her hair and sighed, "I don't know. I guess it's a basic instinct. Sort of the way you are with Jack."

He tilted his head and smirked, "So you think of Reid as your son?"

She gave a soft guffaw of laughter and shrugged, "I guess, in a weird way… yeah. He's so young and in many ways more naïve than the rest of us. I guess I just want to make sure that he doesn't get hurt."

He nodded and grinned like a Cheshire cat, "So I shouldn't feel threatened that he hugged you and held your hand?"

She smirked and shook her head, "He's sweet but he's not my type."

His eyebrow rose slowly as she tugged her hand free and grinned widely, "I prefer my men tall, dark, and ruggedly handsome. If they're divorced, single fathers, they're even hotter."

She winked teasingly and chuckled lightly as his eyes sparkled in response to her teasing. The backs of her fingers traced down his cheek as they held the other's gaze. She jolted slightly as the door opened and she turned around, her body going rigid upon seeing the solid, dark form of Derek Morgan at the door.

The man's large black eyes travelled back and forth between the two agents before he shut the door, securing the three of them in the office. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the door, "Did I miss something?"

Emily swallowed hard looking at her partner before looking at Aaron and then back to Derek. She moistened her lips and opened her mouth to speak. Derek beat her to the punch though as his lips widened into a smile of realization. "It's him, isn't it?"

Aaron looked between the agents in confusion, "What about me?"

Derek grinned and stepped away from the door, smacking his case files against his hand, "He's the one it's complicated with."

Emily chewed her lip for a moment before sighing softly and squeezing her eyes shut. She gave a slow nod and opened her eyes. The betrayal radiated from his eyes and she stepped away from Hotch's desk, taking a step towards her partner and holding her hands at her sides, "Derek, please… We're not… I don't… This isn't what..."

He held up his hand and looked at Aaron with hard eyes, "You hurt her, I'm going to kill you, Hotch."

Emily grinned slightly and glanced at her lover with a shrug, "I wouldn't put it past him, Aaron."

He gave a hesitant smile and looked up at Derek, "I know." He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, "Morgan, we weren't really ready to I don't want to cause-"

Again, Derek held his hand up and set the files down on his desk before turning on his heel and walking out silently.

"It's complicated with me?"

Her eyes widened more as she stared at the door before she turned to look at him, her jaw slack, "I didn't mean it like that."

He leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared at her intently, "How did you mean it, Emily?"

She wasn't sure how to proceed with this. His tone was calm and his face and eyes were stoic, revealing nothing about what he was thinking or feeling over this. She took a deep breath and moistened her lips before laughing awkwardly. She stepped away from his desk and picked lightly at her nails as she tried to figure out how to phrase what she was in her mind.

He watched her pace in front of his desk for several moments before he rolled his eyes and stood, walking up behind her and blocking her path, effectively stopping her rotations. Her eyes travelled up the solid plane of his body and stopped when they met his dark ones. He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head, "Emily, I'm waiting."

She huffed and gave a slow nod, "Right. Yeah, of course, you are. Um…" She swallowed hard and shrugged, "What I meant by complicated was that there is more involved in this," she gestured between them nervously, "Than there would normally be in a relationship and that that makes things complicated because there are other variables that can affect the outcome of you and I being together and while some of those things are good, there are some that are just-"

His mouth sealed over hers to silence her, his arms wrapping around her tightly and holding her snug to his body. He pulled his head back and gave a soft chuckle of laughter, "You were rambling."

She nodded and dropped her head, "I just wanted to explain. It's nothing bad, us being complicated, I just have a lot of feelings right now and I'm not sure about them."

He tucked a piece of dark hair behind her ear and sighed before speaking in slow, quiet, calm tones, "Why haven't you talked to me about this? You talk to Morgan and Haley but you can't come to me?"

She shrugged lightly and shook her head. He ran the pad of his thumb over her cheek and tilted her head up to his, mirroring her earlier movements, and gave her a sideways grin, "I think we need to have a discussion about communication in relationships and how it works."

She tried desperately to fight the smile that was blossoming on her face but failed miserably. She gave a soft chuckle and nodded, "I guess we do."

He rubbed her shoulders gently and nodded to the bull pen, "I'll meet you out there in fifteen minutes. We're going home and discussing this."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he pointed his index finger at her, the tip of the digit almost touching the bridge of her nose as he held her attention captive, and spoke in a slow, hypnotic tone, "Fifteen minutes."

She nodded slowly and repeated his words in a soft murmur before he lead her to the door and ushered her out. She shook her head lightly and headed down to her desk, her eyes flitting over to Derek's. He watched her with unreadable eyes before returning to his work. She sat down at her desk and gathered her belongings, her eyes glancing over at him every few moments before she turned to him, her mouth open and prepared to speak. He beat her to it though and grinned slightly, his voice low and secretive, "I'm just happy you're happy, Princess."

He patted her hand with his gently and excused himself, heading to the kitchenette with his coffee cup in hand. She watched him go and turned around to find Aaron standing at the end of her desk. He glanced down at her and nodded to the door, silently asking if she was prepared to leave.

_**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

She fidgeted nervously on his sofa, her half full tumbler of bourbon gripped tightly in her hand. She glanced around the room anxiously as the awkward silence continued to build around her until she felt almost suffocated by it. His presence was heavy on her chest, even though he was sitting on the other side of the sofa, only one cushion between them. She jumped slightly as the door to the neighbor's apartment slammed shut, breaking the silence for a split second, before plunging them back into the depths of it. She licked her lips as the sounds of their breathing filled the space. Her hand brought the glass to her lips for a long sip of the liquor, letting it burn its way down her throat. She hissed slightly and then repeated it, needing the alcohol to dull down her senses for this conversation, knowing the numbness was going to be necessary for her to be able to get through the discussion ahead of her.

One sofa cushion away, Aaron wasn't doing much better. His nerve endings were all on edge as he sat on the dark fabric of the sofa, slowly twirling the liquor around in his glass, watching it slick along the edges of the clear container and then ebb back to the other side. His eyes took in each wave of the amber liquid rolling around back and forth and sloshing over each other like little waves in an ocean of numbness. He took a long pull from the glass and decided it was time for someone to take the upper hand. He sighed heavily and kept his gaze on the glass in his hand, "So, you have feelings about us."

He glanced at her and watched her nod slowly, her eyes staying directed to the ground.

At her silence he continued to push her, "And these feelings aren't bad?"

She shook her head, keeping her eyes focused on the carpet.

He was at a loss at her continued silence so he pressed a little further, "You said things were complicated so the feelings can't be all that good then either. Can they, Emily?"

He watched her intently at that. Waiting for her to either silently nod or shake her head. She sighed and shrugged, then surprised him by speaking, "They're just feelings, Aaron. They don't have to necessarily be good or bad. Can't they just exist?"

She lifted her eyes and looked at him, "There's a lot that we have to deal with that most couples don't. You can't tell me you don't know that."

He nodded and took a sip of his drink as she continued, "I'm just sort of… I guess, you could say I'm overwhelmed by it all. Between the ex-wife, and our boss, and our team, and Jack, and wondering what you want from this, and wondering what I want from this, and thinking about wanting a family with you, and wondering if you'd think that was crazy… I just don't…"

She huffed and shook her head, "I don't know. I'm confused. I'm overwhelmed. I'm…"

He covered her knee with his hand, closing the distance and licking his lips, "Stop."

She lifted her eyes to his and felt her breathing hitch. His eyes were dark and eyes were swimming with emotion as he studied her "Emily, I do love you. I care about you deeply, you know that."

She nodded slowly and tilted her head, unsure where he was going with this. He reached forward and took the glass from her hand, setting both of their drinks on the table in front of the sofa, before turning back and capturing her hands in his. "Why would you think that you couldn't come to me with this? That you couldn't come talk to me about what I was feeling or wanting or wondering? Why wouldn't you come ask me about our future? I'm the only one that can answer those questions for you."

She shrugged and dropped her eyes to their hands, "I didn't want to…" she closed her eyes and extracted her hands from his, before standing from the sofa and wrapping her arms around herself as her back faced him, "I don't do relationships for a reason, Aaron. I've been the girl that's left behind and cheated on and hurt one too many times for me to want to consider a future with someone. But you're different. You've always been different. Since this whole thing started you've been the contradiction to everything that I've ever thought and the idea that talking about a future with you could potentially scare you away, it…"

She shook her head and turned around to look at him, her large dark eyes shining with unshed tears, and shrugged, "It terrifies me that I could lose you because I want those things with you."

She held his eyes with hers, her voice growing in volume as she continued on, "I want a family. I want this to be something serious. I want the ring and the white picket fence, and the 3 kids and the dog and the whole damn thing and it scares the shit out of me."

He watched as a lone tear slipped down her cheek and was up off the sofa before she could register his movements, his arms wrapped tight around her as she sobbed into his chest, her soft chokes breaking their silence as she clung tightly to him.

He rubbed her back and held her close, his lips resting on the crown of her head and murmuring soft clichés to her. After several long minutes her sobs quieted into tiny whimpers and he lead them back to the couch, sitting down next to her and holding her close. He kissed her temple gently and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. The pads of his thumbs traced over her cheeks gently as he wiped her cheeks free of the tracks of her tears, and he smiled warmly as her eyes met his.

"You worry a lot over things that should be obvious to you, Emily Prentiss."

She dropped her eyes and shrugged. He shook his head, clearly registering that she thought he was rejecting her desires, and gave a soft sigh, "We could've saved you a lot of worrying if you'd come to me."

She nodded and felt the tears begin to resurface, her heart breaking with each word. She was now waiting for his final blow. His final rejection. The backs of his fingers traced gently over her cheek bone and she closed her eyes against the feeling, drinking it in, for what she was telling herself was the final time. He leaned in brushing his lips over hers and sighed lightly, "I want them to be girls."

She blinked her eyes open and stared at him in confusion. He chuckled and shrugged, "I want them to be girls… with your eyes."

Her eyes widened slightly as he entwined their fingers and smiled wider, "And I want them to have your hair, and your smile, your determination."

He leaned in and rested his forehead to hers and rubbed the tip of his nose against hers, "And I want them to be here, as soon as possible."

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><p><em><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Like it? Want more of it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	15. 3x17 In Heat

**A/N: **First and foremost, let me start by giving a shoutout to the 14 incredible people that left me reviews. I am so touched by all of your support each and every week. **scousedancer, SSAEmilyHotchner, x-MJ-x, sarahb2007, maguchi, HGRHfan35, HPforever-after, greengirl82, tigerlily888, tigerlily02, rugbygirrl, Aimee, emilyprentissfan14, miaa29: **You guys make putting all the effort worth it. Each chapter is such a work of love knowing that I have you lovelies on the waiting end. :)

**TO MY AMAZING BETA, Michelle: **Where would I be without you? It amazes me how much we've grown to support and back each other. You're so much more than a beta and I know you know that. :)

**greengirl82: **You know how I feel about you. :) Thank you as always. :)

**This chapter is meant to follow episode 3x17 "In Heat".**

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! **_I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

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><p>"<strong>No one ever keeps a secret so well as a child." - Victor Hugo<strong>

Relief.

Overwhelming relief.

It was the only thing that could describe the feeling that was encompassing the station. JJ's unsurprising revelation finally acknowledging the large pink elephant in the room; one of them, at least. His eyes watched her as she watched JJ and Will canoodling and speaking in low voices away from the rest of them, completely lost in their own little complete world. He watched the way her dark eyes seemed to mist over, the way her smile seemed 1000 watts brighter, the way her head tilted in silent appreciation of their openness. He licked his lips and strolled over to her, leaning against the desk she was sitting at and nudged her elbow with his knee, "I know it's none of my business…"

"Then, keep your mouth shut."

She gave him a curt, tense smile, and turned back to the couple, eying them jealously. He bit back the chuckle in his throat and tried again, "Emily, all I'm saying is you don't want to play games like she did. If we figured her and Will out…"

She nodded slowly and huffed, "Yes, Derek, I know. I'm well aware that what I'm doing is essentially no better than her trying to act like she and Will were just professional contacts." She looked up at him and gave another slow nod, "I know. But this is different. WAY different."

"What's different?"

She spun her chair around at warp speed at the additional voice and smiled widely at Reid, "Nothing. Just JJ and Will, everything that's happened. It's just all so different from how I pictured this case working out."

He nodded and claimed the seat next to her, holding out a bottle of water for her, "I don't think anyone pictures cases ending with couples openly admitting they're together."

She shrugged as she opened the bottle of water and took a long sip of the clear liquid, letting it soothe her burning throat, "Well, I keep being surprised. First, Pen and Kevin. Now, Jayje and Will. I keep wondering what's next."

Reid gave a soft guffaw of laughter and nodded, "Well, the only ones left are us three and Hotch. There's quite a few combinations that could be derived from that, but all of them are probably unappealing to you."

Emily's body grew slightly tense as she nodded and laughed awkwardly, "Yeah, right. Like I could do better than one of you three."

She winked playfully at Reid and smiled as he blushed and toyed with his water bottle, "I guess." His head lifted as Hotch walked past them with a fresh case file in his hand, "Statistically speaking though, odds are pretty good that you'd go for someone like Morgan or Hotch though. Most women are drawn to that alpha male sort of dynamic. It probably started because…"

She held her hand up and shook her head, "I don't like to mix work and play, Reid. It's cute that you're trying to push the topic though."

Morgan snorted softly and shook his head, "Come on, Princess, even I'll admit that you and Hotch would look good together."

He smirked at the dark glare that she sent his way before clearing her throat and standing from her chair. Her body was tense and her eyes hard as she spoke with venom dripping from her words, "Well, Derek, thrilling as this conversation is, I think I'd rather go somewhere that doesn't require me discussing my dating life with_ you._"

She breezed away from the desk and the two men in a quick strut, nearly running Hotch and Dave over as she headed out to the parking lot, steam practically coming out of her ears. Both men watched her pass before looking back at the group. Dave's eyebrow rose as Hotch turned back to watch Emily's body continue to retreat out of the building before disappearing from view as she exited the building. He turned back to the team and cleared his throat, "Anyone want to share what the deal is with Prentiss?"

JJ shrugged and nodded to the two males at the desk, "What did you two say to her?"

Reid shook his head and opened and shut his mouth trying to form words before finally getting a couple out, "Nothing. We were just talking about…"

"We were just teasing her. It was nothing she hasn't gotten from us before."

Reid looked up at Morgan and nodded quickly, "Should I go check on her?"

Dave and Morgan's eyes flicked to Hotch, checking to see what his reaction would be before JJ stepped forward, "Let me."

She stepped around Hotch and Dave and followed in the path that the brunette agent had taken. Hotch's eyes followed her before he turned back to them and narrowed his eyes, "Do I want to know?"

Morgan shook his head as Reid quickly piped up, "We were just talking about how with all the new relationships that have been popping up in the team that there were only 4 of us left to surprise the team with news of a relationship. I merely suggested that she was instinctually drawn to alpha males like you and Morgan, as most women are because history has shown that-"

Hotch held up his hand and sighed, "Is that all?"

Reid swallowed and shrugged, "Morgan might've told her that he thought you two would make a good couple."

He winced as the back of Morgan's hand smacked into his shoulder hard. Hotch's eyes narrowed at him and he grit his jaw tight. He shook his head, closing the file and dropping it onto a desk with a smack as he turned and headed out after the two women, knowing if anyone needed to run damage control it was him. Will watched him go and looked between the other agents, "Is there something going on that I should know about?"

Dave shook his head slowly and sighed, "Nothing that Hotch can't fix."

_**…****_. .._. ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

She inhaled the hot, humid air in a long deep breath, counting backwards from 10 in her mind as she slowly released it. She shook her head and grit her jaw as she tried to calm herself, before wheeling around and kicking the side of the building hard, the ball of her foot impacting the unmoving brick hard enough to send shockwaves up her leg. She grunted softly from the exertion and turned her back to **the** wall, her head thumping back lightly against the hard exterior as her eyes drifted shut.

She heard the soft crunch of the rubble beneath a pair of heels coming closer before stopping. She sighed and licked her lips, "What do you want, Jayje?"

The blonde's arms crossed over her stomach as she eyed the brunette with cautious eyes, "Are you okay?"

She opened her eyes and stared at her, shrugging lightly at her silence and shaking her head, "Yeah. I'm fine. I'm just… Morgan's a real ass at times, you know?"

JJ nodded slowly and licked her lips, "It's not like that's anything new, Em. What's going on?"

Emily chewed her lower lip for a moment, mentally debating whether or not she should say anything before deciding that there was no time like the present and nodding to herself, "I'm just jealous, is all. You and Will… being together and open about it… I'm just jealous that I'm not."

JJ chuckled and nodded, "That you're not together with someone or that you're not open about it?"

Emily's eyebrow rose slightly as the blonde tilted her head, a knowing smile gracing her lips. Emily shrugged, "The second one."

She laughed softly as the blonde nodded and smiled widely, "I figured. Who is it?"

"Emily."

The deep, husky voice broke through the moment and instantly ignited the air around the two women. Emily's neck craned slightly so she could see around JJ and her smiled softened slowly, seeing him standing there with concern etched into each handsome feature of his face. She sighed and waved awkwardly, "Hi."

He tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket and moved forward in slow, calculated steps, "Are you alright?"

She nodded and tilted her lips in a sideways smile, "Yeah. I'm fine." At his raised eyebrow, she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, "I'm fine. Really. God, are you all coming out to check on me or is it just you two?"

He smiled and shrugged, "Just us." He took another few steps toward her and leaned against the wall next to her. She turned her head, studying his profile for a moment, the side of her mouth quirking up as she watched him glare out into the parking lot.

"You know, you two are as bad as me and Will."

Both brunettes' heads turned to the blonde as she smirked and eyed them both before walking over and standing in front of them, "I just want you both to remember how stupid I looked the last couple days." At their simultaneous smiles she laughed and shook her head, "It's not worth it; playing dumb. You don't need to confirm or deny anything to me. We're a family though, you guys. We work together. We travel together. I spend more time with this team than I do with anyone else."

Will's words to her earlier reverberated in her head and she scoffed lightly before repeating them, "You're my friends, and I love you. And all I want is for you to be happy."

She tentatively took a step forward and spoke low, "Trust me, I know it's scary. I know that admitting things is scary and that it makes them real for everyone, but it's better that way. It really is."

She shrugged lightly and nodded to the building, "I'll meet you both back inside."

Silence surrounded them as they both stared out over the landscape of cars and trucks, their shoulders barely touching but the electric spark of his closeness still managed to give her chills down her spine. She closed her eyes, reveling in the feeling for a moment before speaking softly, "Did you read him the riot act?"

She opened her eyes and turned her head to face his, their eyes immediately connecting and matching lazy smiles appearing on their lips.

"For this or for earlier?"

She snorted and shrugged, "Either."

He shook his head and turned his whole body to face her, his shoulder leaning up against the wall, arms crossing over his chest, "Haven't had the time to talk to him about his shenanigan at the crime scene earlier." He shrugged and frowned heavily as he gestured between them and continued, "Wasn't sure what I'd say to him about this."

She reached over with her index finger and smoothed out the wrinkles in his brow with a tender caress. Her fingertip trailed down his nose and across to the tight muscle in his jaw as she pressed it gently to rid his face of the tension the frown had put there. She sighed slowly as he relaxed and couldn't help but chuckle as he freed one of his hands and captured her wrist with it, bringing her hand to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. He slid his hand into hers casually and gave it a tender squeeze.

He eyed her appearance up and down slowly before meeting her eyes again, "Do you want to tell them?"

She dropped her eyes to their joined hands and licked the corner of her mouth, "I don't know, Aaron." He squeezed her hand again and she couldn't help the smile that grew on her full lips, "Yeah. Part of me does; a big part of me does."

She lifted her eyes to his and tilted her head back, her long dark locks pressing against the brick behind her, before she mirrored his stance and turned to face him. Her free hand took ahold of his other hand and she entwined their fingers, "So… what about you?"

_**…****_. ... ... ... …. ... ..._ ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

Something was different.

He wasn't sure what exactly it was, but there was something different.

His light brown eyes darted around the jet, taking in each of the team members and trying to identify it before his gaze halted to a stop.

He narrowed his eyes and leaned forward, as if getting closer by 3 inches would make things clearer. He blinked and blinked again before his eyes widened slightly and his jaw slackened open. He stared for several more moments before turning to Morgan and Rossi, "Did you guys know about them?"

Rossi's eyes lifted from the book in front of him as he glanced at the younger agent and tilted his head, "You say something, Reid?"

Reid frowned and nodded towards the back of the plane. Rossi's eyes followed Reid's line of vision and ended on their Unit Chief, sitting on the sofa, his hand resting on Emily's knee and her body pressed close against his side as they both read through a shared case file. Rossi smirked slightly and then turned his eyes to Reid, "What about it?"

Reid's eyes widened to the size of saucers as he looked back and forth between the elder agent and the couple in shock.

"YOU KNEW?" Rossi winced at the high pitch squeak that was emitted by the younger agent and shrugged, "His hand is on her knee, kid. It's not on her breast. Settle down."

Rossi grinned a little wider as he stared back at the couple before shrugging and adding softly, "But yeah, I knew."

She grinned unabashedly as he caressed her knee over and over while their dark eyes stared at the case file, without actually reading it. She rested her hand on his shoulder as she played her role effectively and spoke softly, "I think the light bulb just went off for Reid."

He chuckled softly and gave her knee a tender squeeze, "Do they all know now?"

She shook her head and took the opportunity to drop her forehead to the side of his head tiredly, "Nope."

His eyebrows furrowed and he turned his head to look at her in confusion, "Who-"

She smirked and raised an eyebrow, "Think about it, Aaron."

He studied her for a moment and then nodded, "Oh, right."

She laughed softly and nodded, "Exactly. Neither of us have been hounded about how we're going to have beautiful babies or when we're getting married or anything like that, so I think it's safe to say that Penelope doesn't know. Yet."

She hummed softly and returned to leaning against him comfortably, "Won't be too far off now though."

His cheek rested on top of the crown of her head and he spoke softly, "You think?"

"I know." She scoffed lightly and closed her eyes, "Bad enough that Morgan and Rossi knew, but now that they all know, we're doomed."

He chuckled low in his throat, the vibrations traveling through her. Before Emily knew what was happening, he'd tucked his arm around her and pulled her close; the crown of her head resting under his chin as they sat together on the white leather sofa. His warmth welcomed her, and she melted into his touch, her body moving in tight against his, and her eyes slipping shut as he closed the file and set it down on the floor next to their feet. They sat like that for a long, peace-filled time and Emily savored it. She'd wanted this for a long time, openly being able to lean into him and not fear about the outcome of it.

"I have Jack this weekend."

His soft voice broke the spell and she grinned widely as she pulled her head back and lifted her dark eyes to his, "Really?"

He nodded and moved his thumb in soothing circles over her covered shoulder. The glee in her eyes was infectious and he returned her wide grin, flashing his dimples at her, "Really. I was hoping you'd come spend some time with him… us…"

She rested her free hand over his and nodded slowly as they held each other's gaze, "I'd like that."

He gave a firm nod and tugged her back to him, his lips brushing her forehead tenderly, "Me too."

_**…****_. ... ..._ ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

She smiled as she listened to the happy shrieks of the two year old mixing effortlessly with the soft feminine laughter of the adult with him. Her eyes glanced at Aaron and she sighed softly before gesturing with her head towards the duo, "She's really good with him."

He glanced at the blonde next to him, watching her watch Emily lead Jack to the large, black SUV and strap him into the car seat. He nodded slowly and tucked his fists into the pockets of his jacket, "Yeah, she's a natural."

He couldn't stop the smile that bloomed on his face as he watched her ruff his son's hair tenderly while carrying on a conversation with him. The light in her eyes was evident even from the front porch and he felt his chest swell with a certain amount of pride. He turned to Haley and found her smile matching his. She shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest as he tilted his head, "So, why the change of heart?"

She swallowed hard and shrugged, "It could be worse." She glanced back at the brunette and then returned her eyes to him, "She came to see me, you know?"

He nodded slowly and waited, sensing that she was going to continue her thought.

"I didn't want to like her, Aaron. You know that. I wanted to hate her. Actually, to be fair, I did hate her. But she came over and she talked to me. Really talked to me, and wouldn't let me say anything until she was done."

She cleared her throat and chuckled lightly, "I was really impressed. She wasn't going to just back down and let go of you without a fight. I guess, maybe, I was a little quick to jump to a reaction to her."

She smacked her lips and dropped her eyes, "And I'm sorry for that. She's really…" she huffed and lifted her eyes, fighting back the emotions that were swirling around in them and tried to finish the sentence again, forcing a smile onto her lips as she did it. "She's really a great woman for you."

He smiled and reached forward, rubbing her shoulder gently and nodded, "I know." He let her lean forward and hug him awkwardly, his head resting on the top of her head for a long moment before he stepped away and gave her shoulders a tender squeeze, "So, I'll have him back to you Sunday at 5."

She nodded slowly and waved to her son, even though she knew he'd missed the motion because he was so clearly infatuated with the brunette woman standing next to his car door. She watched with misty eyes as Aaron walked over and ran a hand down Emily's arm, taking her hand in his for a moment and engaging in a sweet moment with his son before heading round the car, while Emily climbed into the passenger side, and driving off.

_**…****_. ... ... ..._ …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

He was finally asleep.

The tornado of energy that was Jack Hotchner was finally put to bed and fast asleep.

Aaron groaned as his body dropped down onto the firm plane of the mattress, his chest and face resting into the comforter. Her laughter echoed around him as her hand reached over and stroked through the dark strands of hair, "Tired?"

He turned his head towards her and grinned. It would never get old. Seeing her in jeans and a tee shirt and socks, feeling completely comfortable in his space, seeing her as the domestic goddess he never would've guessed she was. He blinked tiredly and sighed, "Tired… is an understatement for what I'm feeling right now. I forgot how exhausting he can be."

She smiled and massaged his temple with her fingertips tenderly as she laid down on her side next to him and propped her head up with her free hand, "He's two, Aaron. Just imagine how exhausting he's going to be as he gets older."

Her eyes widened playfully and she trailed the backs of her fingers down his cheek, "I guess, a better way to look at this is, at least you only have one to worry about."

He smirked and reached his arm closest to her around her body, rolling her onto her back and leaning his body over hers, "I thought we had this discussion."

She looked up at him with eyes rounded, feigning innocence and blinked, "What discussion?"

He chuckled and shook his head, his forehead dropping to hers as her arms wrapped around his torso; her hands hugging his shoulder blades tenderly, "About how it's only a matter of time before there's more than one."

Her eyes sparkled dangerously as she bit her lip and flushed slightly, "Oh… that discussion."

He smirked and brushed his nose against hers, humming his agreement and pressing his lips to hers gently. "You know, the fun part of there being more than one?"

She shook her head and smiled, "Tell me."

He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and leaned down, resting his mouth against her temple and speaking in a low, seductive tone, "Trying for them."

He leaned back from her and pushed himself up onto his knees and the heels of his hands. He reached down to her with a gentle hand, stroking his fingertips over her jaw, her lips. He ran his hand through her dark hair and eyed her with darkened eyes.

"So pretty."

Putting both hands flat on his abdomen, she explored his taut skin and the incredible warmth of his body, radiating through the light fabric of his shirt. Her hands pushed the shirt up his body as far as it could go, and she slicked her hand down his bare back. He leaned back onto his haunches and reached over his shoulder for a fistful of shirt, before tugging it over his head in one smooth motion and tossing it to the floor. His lean runner's body laid down over hers and he lowered himself down to press their chests, then mouths together.

As their lips and tongues dueled for dominance, her hands returned to his flesh. The muscles tightened beneath her palms and his breathing grew shallow as their breaths mingled in the millimeters of space between their lips. She knew exactly what she wanted from him. Just thinking about being with him, and what could come from it, made her womb tighten and legs quake. Biting her bottom lip, she popped open the snap on his jeans and kissed the underside of his jaw.

She carefully dragged the zipper of his jeans down as he continued to hold himself a few inches above her. Once his pants were completely undone, she dragged the backs of her knuckles over him, and felt the tension in his body grow tighter. She pushed his pants down to his knees and pressed a tender kiss to his mouth, "Lose 'em."

He slid from the bed and shoved his jeans and dark boxer briefs down his legs before grabbing her hips and pulling her to the edge of the bed. His hand fisted in the front of her shirt and he pulled hard, pulling her body up to a seated position. His free hand pressed into her bare lower back as he pulled her shirt off with the other hand and dropped it to the floor. He levered away from her to unzip her jeans and drag them, and her panties, down her legs.

Cool air touched her skin as the heat of his gaze burned her. He spread his fingers out over her abdomen and trailed his hands over her chest, down her body and around to her hip. He came down beside her and took her mouth with his, in a kiss that almost did it for her. Arching into him, Emily reached for him, wanting to feel all of him all over her. He pressed her back to the bed and spoke against her lips, "Patience is a virtue, my dear."

She gave a breathy laugh and shook her head, "Fuck virtue. I don't want patience I want-" His hand pressing against her intimately interrupted her thought process and her sentence ended in a soft gasp of his name. She sank her short nails into his shoulder and a groan slipped free from her throat. He watched her bite her lower lip hard, knowing that she was still able to remember that there was a child just down the hall from them.

He kissed her jaw, her cheek, her throat, and leaned back to watch her face as a teased her more, using a second, then third finger to help drive her closer to the brink. Fire seared over her flesh and stole her breath as her hips squirmed against him, the ache of lust in her lower belly almost painful as his lips trailed lightly over her neck and collarbone. He pressed the heel of his hand hard against her core once, twice, and watched as she finally bowed her body, a raw, low groan reverberating from her throat as every muscle of hers trembled.

He pulled away from her momentarily, watching her body lay lax against his bed spread. He smiled and helped ease her up the bed, her body feeling boneless as she glided up to the pillows and reached for him, her arms and body open to him. He settled his weight over her as he positioned himself between her legs. His large palm settled on her cheek as he held her face, looking into her eyes for a nanosecond before sealing his mouth over hers as he pushed into her.

He swallowed her deep groan of approval and rocked against her slowly, feeling her clench and release her internal muscles around him over and over again. Her legs came up and wrapped around his waist tight, inspiring him to kiss her hard and then lean up onto his elbows and accelerate his speed. Heat from their bodies mingled as she moved with him, their quick pace set. She gripped the back of his shoulders in her hands and held his eyes with hers as they moved together, her white teeth biting into her plush lower lip as she got closer and closer to her second peak of the night.

He was braced on one arm over her, thrusting against her, his eyes turning to a shade of onyx as he watched her finally give into an all-consuming climax. Through a haze of pleasure she watched his face as his jaw locked tight, his body tensed and his eyes slammed shut as he joined her in the climax.

When they'd both quieted their labored breaths, he tumbled down to the bed next to her, his chest and face once again meeting the comforter, his arm draped over her stomach as she laid on her back looking up at the ceiling, reliving each moment. She turned her head to look at him and found her gaze met by his; his lips forming into a pleasured and content smile. It was humbling for her, seeing him like this with her and she returned his smile quickly. Her voice was rough as she lazily blinked at him and ran her fingers over his arm which was draped on top of her, "Hi."

He smiled wider and gently tugged her closer to him, her side tucking into his chest. He shifted up onto his other arm, propping his head up and kept his arm over her stomach, reveling in her closeness. "I like sleeping with you, Emily."

She smirked and nodded, "I think you just made that pretty clear, Aaron."

He chuckled softly and shook his head, "No, no. Making love with you is great, but I like sleeping with you next to me. I like having you here with me on a regular basis. I like us being together when I close my eyes at night, and then open them in the morning."

She smiled warmly and nodded, "Me too. Definitely."

He licked his lips and leaned forward, brushing his nose against her temple and drawing strength from not seeing her face as he spoke, "What do you think about moving in?"

She couldn't breathe. "Yes." Inhaling deeply, she said it again, this time with more conviction and a kiss to his cheek, "_Yes_, I'd like that."

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><p><em><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Like it? Want more of it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	16. 3x18 The Crossing

**A/N: ** This is my favorite part of my author's note, the point when I get to recognize the 15 amazing people that left reviews on my previous chapter. To **scousedancer, charmony, SSA Annie Em, x-MJ-x, sarahb2007, maguchi, HGRHfan35, Piasya7, HPforever-after, greengirl82, tigerlily888, tigerlily02, rugbygirrl, Aimee, miaa29: **You guys are amazing and I am so incredibly moved to have the support you all offer to me. I thank you all so much for the great words and thoughts you're sending my way.

**TO MY AMAZING BETA, Michelle; and to Phras and Naomi, who stepped in when I needed you: **This chapter is really dedicated to you. Thank you all for the great listening ears and the inspiration. You guys are AMAZING.

**greengirl82: **No words need to be said for how much I appreciate your regular input. :)

**This chapter is meant to follow episode ****3x18 "The Crossing".**

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! **_I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

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><p><strong>Nothing can bring a real sense of security into the home except true love. - Billy Graham<strong>

She had to be seeing things.

No way in hell was this possible.

He wasn't supposed to be back for another two days.

But there he was.

She wanted desperately to move her legs, but they seemed to be rooted to the spot she was standing in. She shifted slightly at the soft nudge from behind her but stayed frozen between the two large glass doors as she stared at the catwalk in the BAU bullpen. Her wide eyes taking in the sight in front of her, almost memorizing every detail.

She heard soft chuckles from behind her and shook her head slightly to bring herself back to reality. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before smiling at the blonde next to her as she was nudged again. She laughed softly and then headed in. She set her go bag down next to her desk and let her eyes glance up at him on the catwalk, the file in his hands and his head bowed close to Rossi's as they reviewed the case they'd just worked. He glanced up at her, catching her eyes on him and gave her a subtle wink.

She felt her legs go to jelly and sat down in her desk chair rapidly. She settled herself at her desk and dropped her head, her hand coming up to cover her lips quickly. Deep down, she couldn't hide her wide smile on her face from anyone. She glanced back up at him, relieved that he'd gone into his office already and sighed softly. The excited tension eased from her body slowly and she raked her fingers through her hair before turning to her computer and beginning to work on the case file about the stalker they'd just put away.

"Prentiss."

She fought the shiver that ran over her back at his voice and looked up at him at the catwalk with a subtle smile. He nodded to his office and headed in, giving her an opportunity to watch his backside and she grinned playfully at the dirty thoughts that rapidly filled her head at that. She pushed her chair back and began to head towards his office, punching Derek's arm hard as he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. His moans of pain made her smile wider as she ascended the stairs and entered his office, shutting the door behind her firmly.

He tilted his blinds closed and crossed the gap between them in three long strides, pulling her into his arms tightly and holding her close. "Hey."

She fisted her hands in his dark hair and the back of his shirt, holding firmly to him and breathed in his scent, "Hi."

He smiled at the vulnerability in her soft, husky whisper and nuzzled her neck, "How was Silver Spring?"

She snorted and rolled her eyes, "Bearable. How was Boston?"

He shrugged and stayed pressed tight to her, moving slightly so that their foreheads were pressed together, "Miserable. Remind me again why I didn't take you with me?"

She chuckled and stroked up and down his spine tenderly, "Something about Strauss and how us traveling together could cause people to start questioning us?"

He nodded and sighed, "Right, next time I say we do it anyway."

She laughed softly and nodded, her eyes slipping shut as she breathed in his unique scent of musk, sandalwood, and coffee, "Mmmmm. Deal."

He stood with her like that for several moments before pulling away and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "I missed you."

She opened her eyes, pleasantly surprised at his soft admittance and smiled warmly, her hand reaching up and resting on his cheek, "Me too."

She stroked his cheekbone tenderly with her thumb and tilted her head, "Are you okay?"

He nodded and lead her over to the sofa in his office, "We can't stay in here for long. Now that the team knows, it's only a matter of time until it gets out and I want us to avoid any questionable work behavior."

She smiled and gave a slow nod, before sitting down next to him, her head leaning onto his shoulder as his arm wrapped around her. "How was your case?"

She huffed and licked her lips, "It was fine. Just makes you think. One minute you think you're safe, that you have security in your life, and then next you're being stalked by some psycho. I just… I can't imagine how terrifying it must be to feel like you're being hunted."

She took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair, "And then seeing her secrets come out and nearly destroy her relationship, it just amazed me."

He looked down at her, squeezing her shoulder gently and pressed a kiss to her dark hair, "Secrets tend to do that, Emily. Secrets prevent someone from building a solid relationship with anyone."

She stared at their joined hands for several long moments before clearing her throat, "How… was your case?"

Silence filled the room and the sound of his breathing surrounded her for a moment, "Intense. Dave and I had an interesting conversation about marriages."

She chuckled softly and sighed, "Do I want to know where this is going?"

He moistened his lips and continued, "Emily, we talked about how hard someone tries at a marriage and if children being involved is a factor."

She shifted slightly against him and turned her head to face him, his dark eyes staring off into space. She felt his grip on her loosen and it almost felt as if the air in the room went frigid. She chewed her lip and sat straighter on the sofa, her back stiffening, "Aaron…"

He swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "He just made me think about it, you know? I mean, I gave everything I had to the job and my family, Emily, and it wasn't enough." His voice became soft, almost like a whisper as he dropped his eyes to the floor, "What's to say that this would be any different?"

His dark eyes turned to her and she felt her blood turn to ice at the hurt in his eyes. She opened her mouth to speak but he held his hand up, stemming off her interruption, "Just hear me out, Emily…" he sighed and scratched the back of his neck, "I tried. I tried and I still couldn't make it work. I don't want to see this end badly."

She shook her head slowly and reached for his hand, gripping it tightly, "It's not going to, Aaron. It's _not_ going to. I'm not going to make you choose between work and me," she desperately wanted to add '_and our family'_ to the end of her sentence but thought better of it. She glanced around the office and blinked against the mist flooding her vision, "So what…" her voice cracked slightly and she cleared her throat before trying again, "What are you thinking, Aaron? Are you ending this?"

She studied him as he took a deep breath and shook his head, "No."

She breathed a sigh of relief and blinked as a tear slipped from her eye. She wiped it away quickly and shook her head, "So then, what does this mean?"

He blinked multiple times and shrugged slightly, "I just don't…" He gave a soft bitter laugh and eyed her slowly, "I don't want to end up like Dave."

She laughed softly and rolled her eyes, tugging him into her arms and pressing her lips to his cheek, "You're not like him. At all. I think you can stop worrying about that."

She leaned back, holding him at arm'slength away from her and shook her head, her eyes hard but her smile giving her true emotions away, "Scare me like that again Hotchner and you'll have a bullet inside you."

He closed the distance between them and nuzzled her neck before kissing her pulse point tenderly, "God, Emily, I can't even…"

She sighed softly and rested her cheek to his temple, "Don't finish that sentence."

She smiled and turned her lips to his temple, laying a gentle kiss there. Her smile grew as his head turned to hers and he sealed his lips over hers. She let his lips linger there for a moment before she pulled back, licking her lips teasingly and sighed, "I'm going back out there to work on my case files. I don't want to make things hard for you at work."

She smirked at her double entendre and winked at him, "I think we're going for drinks tonight. You should come." She reached up and ran the backs of her fingers over his cheek and temple and then stood, "Either way, I'll see you later, _Hotch_."

He grinned, watching her walk out of his office and sighed before climbing off the sofa and heading over to the window. He opened his blinds and sat down behind his desk, a smile blooming on his face as he thought about their future; about the fact that soon he'd be able to go home and know she'd be there with him.

…_**. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

He glanced into his office a few hours later and then out to the empty bull pen with a heavy sigh. He stepped into the office without knocking and folded his arms over his chest.

"One week."

Aaron's head lifted to look at Rossi as his eyebrows rose towards his hairline in a silent question.

Rossi huffed and shook his head, "One week, Aaron. That's how long I put up with your endless bitching about missing her. For a whole _week_, I put up with the 'should I call', 'should I ask her to come be with me', 'I wonder what she's doing?' bull shit. And now, here we are, home from Boston, and you're sitting in your office doing paperwork while she's at the bar with Garcia, Morgan and Reid. Do you need a cat scan or someone to smack you or…"

Aaron rolled his eyes and nodded to the file, "I told her I had to finish this. Strauss is expecting-"

He shrugged and laughed softly, "Forget Strauss. Thefile can go to her on Monday. Jesus Christ, Hotch. I mean I know I've said that she gets your job but even she doesn't want to come second to some paperwork."

He nodded his head out the door and gave him a hard look, "I'm going to say this once, get your ass out of the chair and go be with her. You don't want to end up like me, looking back with regrets."

He turned and headed down out of the office and exited through the glass doors, heading for the elevator.

Aaron gave a resigned nod in the silence and dropped his pen to the blotter with a grin. He grabbed his briefcase and jacket and turned the light in his office out, heading down the stairs and opening the glass doors to the BAU, his body nearly colliding with that of Jennifer Jareau. He steadied her on her feet and glanced down at her, seeing the uncertainty in her eyes and touched her shoulder briefly, "JJ?"

She lifted her large blue eyes to his and smiled weakly, "Hey, Hotch. What did you need?"

He shook his head and shrugged, "Uh, nothing. Just making sure you're alright."

She nodded slowly and forced a large grin on her face, "I'm fine. Just tired. I'm heading out right now, actually."

He gave a tentative nod and looked her over in concern, "You sure you're okay?"

She nodded quickly, "I'm fine. Seriously. Are you going out with the rest of them?"

He shrugged, "Guess so. You going home?"

She worried her lip for a second and shook her head, "I'm, um, I'm flying down to see Will. I'll be back for Monday though."

She touched his bicep and gave a genuine smile, "I'll see you around, Hotch."

He watched as she progressed back to her office, his concern not totally allayed. He debated following her and shook it off, she was a big girl and could handle herself.

…_**. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

She yawned as she sat alone at the table.

Team nights out had never been boring before, but right now, all she really wanted to do was go home, curl up in Aaron's arms and just enjoy their time together after spending a week apart. She sipped her beer slowly and glanced around, eying Garcia and Morgan dancing together on the floor and Reid playing pool with a tall blonde who was obviously trying to pick up the completely oblivious genius. She was halfway out of her chair to go help the poor boy score a date when a hand rested on her side and a mouth found itsway to the side of her neck. She turned her head and grinned when she met two very familiar brown eyes with hers.

"You came?"

He shrugged and stole the seat next to her with a grin, "Couldn't leave you here all alone for some other guy to try to pick up."

She snorted and rolled her eyes, "Right, because I'm such a hot commodity."

He eyed her slowly and licked his lips, "Speaking from experience…"

She slapped his chest teasingly and narrowed her eyes, "Keep it clean, Hotchner. I don't want them to know everything about us."

He grabbed her hand gently and brought the inside of her wrist to his lips, brushing his lips against the skin tenderly. Her eyes slipped shut as he repeated the action twice more, before entwining their fingers and leaning forward, his lips finding her temple. He rested there with her for several long moments, just enjoying the closeness before she leaned back and ran her fingers through his dark hair, "I thought you had paper work to do?"

He shrugged and stole a sip of beer from her bottle, "I did… and still do. But I wanted to be here."

She smirked and chuckled softly, resting her forehead to his, "You brought it home in your briefcase, didn't you?"

He couldn't stop the smile that grew on his face as he rubbed his nose against hers, "Maybe."

She outright laughed at that and waved the waitress over, giving an order of two beers. He raised an eyebrow at her request to the petite blonde and waited until she'd left before meeting her eyes, "Getting me drunk?"

She nodded quickly and smiled evilly, "If you're drunk, I can use you for my own purposes, without worrying about you thinking about paperwork."

He leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers, smiling at the soft sigh of contentment that escaped her lips. He reached under the table and grabbed her hand, giving her a gentle tug, "Dance with me?"

She smirked and raised a delicate eyebrow as she eyed him slowly, "Are you serious?"

He nodded and gave her hand another tug. She reached up and touched the side of his head gently, "Aaron, did youfall and hit your head or something? You never want to dance."

He laughed and guided her in front of him as he walked towards the dance floor his mouth next to her ear, "Very funny, Agent Prentiss. I'm going to make you pay for that later."

She snorted softly as they made their way through the dance floor to a spot that he chose, before he turned her around and pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her tiny waist tight as he held her close and rocked her slowly. Her head rested on his shoulder and the tip of her nose brushed up against the side of his neck with each gentle sway of their bodies. Her fingers threaded through the short, dark hairs at the nape of his neck and she moaned softly as he pressed his hands down the column of her spine. He grinned and leaned down, resting his mouth against her ear, "I really did miss you, you know."

She smiled and stayed in the position she was in, comfortable being pressed against him in the way she was and nodded, "I know."

He held her close and moved with her like that for several long minutes before pulling back from her and tracing his fingertips over her cheeks, "Come home with me?"

She nodded and closed her eyes as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "Was kind of hoping you were going to ask…"

He smirked and leaned forward, brushing his lips over her cheek and tugging on her hand lightly. He dropped a twenty on the bar for their tab and tip and led her outside, his arm wrapping around her securely. She cuddled against his side, her cheek pressed against his shoulder as they walked to his car, the comfortable silence surrounding them in the dark of the night.

…_**. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

He stood behind her, his hands resting on her hips and he nuzzled her neck as she slipped the key into the lock and let them into his apartment. She laughed softly as his breath tickled along the skin of her neck and jaw as his hands held her body firmly against him. She turned in his arms swiftly and stared up at him, her hands resting on his shoulders tenderly as a slow smile blossomed on her lips. She looked warm and soft and admiring, and he liked it. He responded to it, and in a way, he survived on it. Those looks were the things that made him feel like she was really willing to stay with him through whatever was in their future together. She was such an enigma, so strong, so outspoken, so confident in herself and yet still incredibly vulnerable and feminine. She was quirky, rough around the edges, and stubborn as hell, but so brutally honest that at times like these, when she looked up at him with love in her eyes, she took his breath away. And unlike his ex-wife, she thrived on the excitement of their job. She actually admired him for the way he did things and the strength he had while doing the job. She admired him for what he did, rather than condemning his choices. His hands slid around to her lower back, lifting the hem of her shirt and letting his fingertips trace the skin just above the waistband of her pants.

"I love you, you know."

She smiled wider at his declaration and nodded, "I know, Aaron."

Her hand slid up to the back of his neck and guided his head down to hers, their lips meeting slowly as they stood in the living room of his apartment. Once again, silence consumed them as their mouths became reacquainted with each other through little caresses, nips, sighs. She clenched her muscles and pushed lust to the side as she lifted her head from his, smiling as his neck craned slightly, his lips wanting to follow hers. She leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling back again, "Aaron…"

He blinked her eyes open slowly and hummed lightly, his eyes glazed over with contentment and desire, "You better have a damn good reason for not continuing with that kiss, Emily Prentiss."

She grinned at the warning in his voice and licked her lips. She debated for a moment how necessary the talk she wanted to have would be and then pushed it aside. Being with him, getting to feel him again after a week apart was more important than any conversation she wanted to have. She'd be able to talk to him later. Right now, there were more pressing issues at hand.

He nuzzled his head to her neck and pressed gentle kisses along the column of her throat, "Emily, whatever you're thinking about we can handle later. Unless you're injured or pregnant, it's nothing that requires our immediate attention."

Her heart leapt slightly at the mention of pregnancy and she felt her legs go to jelly as she collapsed against him, her hands gripping his shoulders tightly as she clung to him. He pulled her into him, his mouth covering hers roughly as he walked, and partially dragged, her back to the bedroom. He was surprised then that after they'd tumbled onto the bed, she managed to pin him down. Her legs rested on either side of his, her hips pressing against his hard as she ground against him slowly over and over. He felt her breath on his jaw, the silkiness of her hair on his temple when she slanted her head. Her tongue stroked tentatively over his jugular vein and he groaned.

"Aaron, please…"

It was all the encouragement he needed. He tugged at her shirt, desperate to get her naked and beneath him as quickly as possible. He wanted the skin on skin contact that he'd been deprived of for the entire week. For a moment, it seemed silly to him, that he was so desperate for a human connection and human touch. He'd never been quite this desperate to make love with Haley after being gone on a case. He'd never been crazed with need for her. Emily was different though, in all the best ways and right now, it was all he could do to not rip everything off of her.

"You. Naked. Now."

She smirked at his softly growled commands and lifted her shirt over her head slowly, pausing at the top just to tease him a little more. He growled hungrily at her teasing and rolled them over, his body on top of hers as he stripped her shorts and panties down her legs. She grasped blindly at his shirt and pants, alternating between which one she wanted off first. Several moments of clumsy stripping later, he was kissing her again.

"I love you, Emily."

He whispered it softly while treating her to a line of kisses down her neck.

Another few inches and his mouth was on her chest; teasing, nipping, sucking. Her hands grabbed his hips, holding onto the solid muscle there as he ground his pelvis against hers, teasing her with the actions that she knew were coming. She wrapped one slender thigh up and over his. His hand helped her, smoothing over her toned, firm bottom, before sliding under her thigh and dipping into her. She dropped her head back, whimpering his name as he let his fingers probe and explore and entice. She rocked her hips towards his talented hand over and over before grabbing onto what little self control she had left and rolling them, so that she was straddling him.

With her breasts pressed to his chest, her heartbeat mimicking the thunderous beat of his own. The weight of her body both appeased and intensified the ache in the pit of his stomach, making him squirm, "I love how you feel, Aaron."

He clenched his jaw and nodded firmly, his ability to speak gone.

Her eyes narrowed sensually as she gazed down at him before kissing him gently, "Show me how much you missed me."

She gasped softly as he flipped them again and pinned her hands above her head with one of his hands, cupping her jaw with his free hand, "I'm the one in charge of making demands here, Emily."

She felt a bolt of electricity drive through her at his commanding tone and nodded slowly as his lips pressed to her temple, his breath hot against her ear as he spoke in a low, firm voice, "And right now, I want you soft and submissive beneath me."

He kissed her gently, pulling back when she tried to deepen the kiss. "Do you want it too, sweetheart?"

"Yes."

That soft whisper shook his resolve. Aaron closed his mouth over hers, felt her lips part and immediately stroked his tongue inside. Her slender thighs tightened around his hips restlessly, her body squirming beneath his in desperate need and desire. He wanted to wait, to ease into her gently, but she kept touching him and her hips continued to writhe beneath him. His control snapped. With a harsh curse, he entered her.

Her breath hitched lightly at the sensation of finally having him back with her and she dropped her head back, gasping softly.

He gripped her sides gently and sighed, "Easy, sweetheart."

His vision was clouded with a red haze of lust and overwhelming emotion. She quivered, and her eyes closed, her neck arched, and she gave a small moan of ecstacy. Then her legs tightened around his hips and her fingers gripped his shoulders tightly, her nails biting his skin, and he was gone. His body begging to perform in a steady, powerful rhythm and wanting desperately to make this reunion last as long as he could in equal measure. He rode her tenderly, fighting his instincts and letting his body strain with need for release. Sweat covered his shoulders as her uneven breaths were panted out against his neck. Sliding one hand beneath her hips, he tilted her pelvis to allow him to go deeper, driven to bind their bodies together and make her an even bigger part of him.

She cried out his name softly and her muscles clamped down on him hard.

"Come on, sweetheart," he ground out through his teeth; thrusting harder, faster, his control a long forgotten memory. Steadily he pressed in and pulled out until the pressure built and she tightened around him. She caught her breath and held it, her eyes squeezing tight as she climaxed in his arms, holding him and whispering his name softly. Tears seeped past her long dark lashes, dropping down her cheeks slowly, and as he joined her his own release was enough to steal his stength.

When he rolled off of her, he held her hand, afraid to break the contact. His other arm draped over his eyes, "Wow."

She kissed the back of his hand and nodded slowly, her eyes focused on the ceiling as tears continued to slide down her cheeks silently.

After several moments of silence, he lifted his head and looked at her, seeing the tear tracks down her face he leaned over her, and tilted her face to look at him, "Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head in the negative and reached up, wiping her tears away before resting her damp fingers to his cheek, "No. Not at all. That was…"

She swallowed at his grim expression and sighed, "Aaron… I do love you. You know that, but I've been thinking about what you said in your office earlier."

He felt his body turn cold and nodded slowly, keeping her close to him while pulling the blankets up the bed and over their cooling bodies. He propped himself up on one elbow and took her hand in his free hand, sighing deeply as she mirrored his position, "Do I need to be worried, here?"

She opened her mouth to answer and then shut it again. She dropped her eyes and worried the corner of her lip between her teeth, "I think, maybe, we're moving too fast. If you're still focusing on Haley and what went wrong with her, I think, maybe we need to slow down a little. I think we really need to consider whether or not, I should be moving in with you…"

He gripped her hand tighter and though he wanted to lean forward and kiss her he held himself back, "Emily, I'm not focused on her. I'm focused on you, on protecting you from the same thing I put her through. I just… I can't let myself hurt you like that. Not with everything that's happened. Not with everything that we want to happen."

He released her hand tentatively and reached forward tilting her head up, "Is that all this is about?"

She shook her head slowly while shutting her eyes, "It's part of it. But I think the bigger issue here is… that something feels like it's missing. Like there's a missing puzzle piece somewhere and I don't know what to do about it."

He smirked and moved his hand to her side and then flattened his palm over her firm abdomen, "_This_?"

She turned her eyes from him in silent affirmation and he chuckled softly, tugging her close to him and rolling onto his back, letting her lie against his chest, "That's going to come in time, sweetheart. We just need to keep trying. I mean, neither one of us is at their peak age for that right now. So it'll take a little longer…" he shrugged and kissed the crown of her head, "I don't think either one of us is complaining about the fun we're having trying though."

She shook her head slowly and listened to his even heartbeat, "It's just frustrating, Aaron."

He gave a soft laugh and traced his fingertips over her bare shoulder, "I know it is, honey. But let's just take it one day at a time."

She gave a slight nod against his chest, her eyelashes tickling him tenderly. He grinned and spoke into her hair softly, "And no more arguments, you're moving in and that's final."

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><p><em><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Hate it? Like it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	17. 3x19 Tabula Rasa

**A/N: **To **TigerLily888, charmony, x-MJ-x, sarahb2007, maguchi, HGRHfan35, Piasya7, HPforever-after, greengirl82, tigerlily02, rugbygirrl, miaa29: **Thank you guys so much for sending all your amazing support and thoughts my way. The previous chapter, this one, and the next one are all ones that are going to be a little angsty and emotional so I hope you all have your kleenexes ready.

But seriously, this chapter, SUPER sad. And the next one is going to be pretty angsty too with Kate Joyner and all that. DUN DUN DUN! :/

**TO MY AMAZING BETA, Michelle: **I love you. I love you SO much. That's all I've got. I just simply love you.

**greengirl82: **Your messages inspire me so much.

_This chapter is dedicated to the lovely x-MJ-x and greengirl82 for the amazing, AMAZING support they gave me this past week._

**This chapter is meant to follow episode 3x19 "Tabula Rasa".**

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! **_I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

* * *

><p><strong>***ALSO******<strong>

**_**The nomination ballot, rules, and category summaries for the second annual Profiler's Choice CM Awards 2011 are up and available for you at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. To reach that post, please either take a trip to the forum. forum (dot) fanfiction (dot) net / topic / 74868 / 48350094 / 1 /**_**

**_**just remove the space and replace the (dot) with a .**_**

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><p><strong>Change means that what was before wasn't perfect. People want things to be better. - Esther Dyson<strong>

Silence.

Darkness broken only by the light of the moon reflecting over the multitude of boxes in his living room.

He couldn't remember ever seeing the apartment this still before. He shut the door and stepped into the room, setting his go-bag down on the sofa and loosening his tie. He'd tried to get in touch with Haley, to inform her that he wasn't able to pick up Jack that evening and that they'd have to change weekends because of the case, but she'd never returned his call. He headed into the kitchen and flicked on the light above the microwave, casting a dim light over the room before opening the fridge and grabbing a beer. The soft pop of the cap and fizz of the liquid sounded a thousand times louder in the silence and he took a long swig, letting the cool bubbly alcohol travel down his parched throat. He leaned back against the granite counter top and took in the mass of boxes. It'd taken another couple weeks of convincing Emily that she belonged in his apartment, of begging her landlord to let her out of her lease, and of packing and finally moving her things into his apartment; But it was now official. He was living with Emily Prentiss.

He counted back, to the beginning of their relationship and sighed. 10 months. 10 months ago he'd been broken by discovering that Haley had walked out on him, and had taken his son with her. 10 months ago he'd fallen into the arms of Emily Prentiss. 10 months ago he'd been reborn. He stripped his jacket and tie off, draping them over the back of the kitchen bar stool and headed towards the bedroom, beer in hand. He stopped at the door and felt his entire body go numb, causing him to nearly drop the dark brown bottle.

Emily was there. In his bed and while it wasn't abnormal to see her in his bed anymore, tonight something was different. It wasn't the large messy bun that she'd pulled the raven strands back into. It wasn't the short red shorts and his old ratty SWAT team t-shirt. It wasn't even the fact that she had one leg covered and the other out over the comforter, revealing her white knee high sock. It was the fact that there was another person in bed with her.

He licked his lips and set his beer down on the dresser, really letting his eyes take in the entire scenario in front of him. There she was. In his bed. With her arm draped over the sleeping figure of Jack Hotchner. He smiled widely at the image of her wrapped around the young boy, her arm and leg over his covered body; keeping his tiny, dinosaur pyjama clad form close to hers. One of his arms held his large brown teddy bear close, and the other was twisted around hers, his little fingers resting with hers on the comforter.

He sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair, before taking off his dress shirt and pants and opting to pull on a well worn pair of sweat pants instead of only leaving his boxers on. He headed over to the bed cautiously and reached forward for him, before thinking better of it and walking out to the living room and grabbing his cellphone. He returned to the room moments later and held the device up, angling it at just the right degree and snapping a picture, grinning as the flash went off but no one woke. He set the phone down and headed over to the bed, his hands tenderly unwrapping Emily's arms from his son. He hoisted the boy into his arms and carried him into his room, lying him down on the bed and kissing his temple gently. He returned to their room and slid into the bed behind her, his arm wrapping around her, much the way she'd been holding his son earlier.

"You know, he could've stayed."

His eyes opened slowly at her soft, husky voice and he smiled as he immediately saw her large dark eyes looking at him over her shoulder. She smiled at him tenderly and shrugged, "I was enjoying being able to cuddle with the little guy."

He chuckled as he leaned into her and pressed his lips to hers tenderly. "I don't like to share."

She snorted softly and snuggled back into him, her back pressing against his chest as she sighed, "Yeah, well you might have to get used to it."

He froze slightly and tightened his hold on her, "And why's that?"

She bit her lip and shrugged, "I'm late."

She turned over and looked up at him with a small grin, "Only by a couple days. But… I'm late."

His heart leapt into his throat as he looked up at her, "Did you-"

She shook her head, "I haven't taken a test yet. I haven't done anything yet. No doctors. Nothing. I wanted to wait until you came home."

He licked his lips and nodded, "I'm here now."

She laughed softly and shook her head, "I'm not taking a pregnancy test at 2 am, Aaron. We'll do it tomorrow, when the little man is taking his nap."

She reached up and combed her fingers through his hair, "I missed you."

He nodded and tilted his head into her hand, "Me too."

He leaned forward and kissed her deeply, his body pressing against her hard as her mouth opened beneath his, granting him access. She moaned softly as things started to get heated and then pushed against his shoulder gently, "Aaron… we can't."

He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head in silent question and she grinned, "Jack. The door."

He looked to the door, seeing it wide open and sighed, "I'll go close it."

She laughed a little louder and shook her head, holding him close, "No no no. Leave it. We'll make up for lost time tomorrow night. I've been entertaining your 3 year old since 6 pm. I'm exhausted. Just hold me tonight, will you?"

He nodded and cuddled up behind her, resuming their earlier pose and kissing the crown of her head, "I can do that."

He couldn't stop the smile from blooming on his lips.

Finally, for the first time in a long time, it was perfect.

Or as close to perfect as was humanly achievable.

…_**. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

He leaned against the wall as he watched his son darting through the maze of boxes in the living room, his soft laughter echoing in the small space and mixing with the musical laughter of the brunette hiding from the young boy behind a wall of boxes. Contentment washed over him as he watched his son peek around box after box and then finally pause in the middle of the room and cross his arms over his chest, his mouth turning into a serious pout. He looked at his father with bright eyes and rushed over, "Daddy! Daddy!"

Hotch's eyes widened in a silent acknowledgment and he knelt down to his son's level, catching the running boy in his grasp and paying careful attention to him, "Find Emily?"

Emily's head poked over the boxes that she was hiding behind and shook her head at him. He grinned at her wickedly and she narrowed her eyes in a silent threat of things that she could do if he gave her away. She sank back down behind the boxes, not dropping the threatening eye hold until she disappeared. He smirked and held his finger to his lips, asking his son to keep this a secret. Jack nodded quickly and crossed over his heart, his face the definition of seriousness. Aaron ruffed his hair playfully, then pointed in the direction of the boxes silently for Jack. Jack giggled lightly and raced over, poking his head behind them and squealing softly as he was captured in the open arms of the brunette. She emerged from behind the boxes with him wrapped tightly around her torso, his little head resting on her shoulder, his arms gripping her neck, and his legs wrapped around her waist. She rubbed her nose against his and looked at Aaron with a dark stare, "Did Daddy tell you where I was hiding?"

Jack slowly shook his head 'no' with a grin at his father.

Emily tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at the boy, questioning his sincerity.

Jack looked between the two adults then nodded quickly at Emily's silent question. She laughed softly and brushed her lips over his forehead and pressed a tender kiss there before setting him down and letting him run free from the room. Once he was gone, she turned her attention to the man in front of her and pursed her lips, "_You_ are in big trouble."

She crossed her arms over her chest and walked over to him slowly, each step requiring her to weave through the several boxes that once were a part of her apartment. She finally stepped up in front of him and stared up into the dark orbs in front of her. He smirked as he stared down at her and rested his large hands on the small of her back. "Oh really?"

She nodded slowly, and fought the grin that was threatening to emerge on her lips, inevitably failing. He flashed his dimples as her own pair emerged on her cheeks, "What's my punishment then?"

He leaned down, pressing his forehead to hers and letting her soft guffaw of musical laughter swirl around him. She opened her mouth to answer and was promptly interrupted by the sound of tiny feet racing towards them. She gasped as his son's body collided with her legs, knocking her into Aaron's tightening grasp. She laughed softly as she recovered from her near tumble and bent down to be eye level with Jack, "Are you trying to knock me over?"

The boy grinned at her teasing tone and nodded. She smiled and reached forward, tenderly digging the tips of her fingers into his sides and tickling him mercilessly as he crumbled to the floor and flailed about trying to swat her hands away from his sides and neck. Once he was finally panting and swatting slower she stopped and poked his tiny tummy with her index finger, "Next time who are you going to try to tackle?"

"Daddy!"

She nodded and rubbed his belly in soothing circles, helping him calm down, "That's right. Take down Daddy."

She looked up at Aaron with wide brown eyes and a bright smile on her face, before winking playfully. He winked back and knelt down next to her running his hand through his son's hair and watching him calm down from Emily's tickle attack. He cast a glance at the woman next to him, watching her caress and soothe his son, as if was the most natural thing on Earth and swallowed hard. This was really happening. They could really be having their own child together, and at that moment he realized that nothing could make this moment better. He sighed as his son's eyes began to droop and he looked knowingly at Emily. "I think it's time for someone's nap."

Her stomach somersaulted at that word and her eyes darted to his, meeting them with an anxious excitement radiating through her. She nodded and forced a smile to her lips as he lifted the half asleep toddler into his arms and carried him into their bedroom, settling him down on the comforter and draping a smaller blanket over him. He stood, watching his son drift off to sleep happily and let his mind picture another child lying next to him. A brunette little girl with her mother's eyes and smile, or perhaps a brunette little boy with his mother's fiery disposition.

He jolted slightly as he felt two smaller hands slide up his back, over his shoulders, and down his arms, before one slid into his hand and tugged him from the room, his body obediently following hers. She lead him to the living room and through the box maze to their sofa. She sat down and tugged him to sit next to her. He sat back against the soft cushions and pulled her against his chest, his lips resting on her forehead, "You ready?"

She shrugged and licked her lips, "Now that it could really be happening, I guess I'm nervous. I mean, we've been trying for 6 months, Aaron. I'm a little scared."

He nodded and rubbed her back, "I know. But you've got me. I'm not going to tuck tail and run. I want this just as bad as you."

She stayed in his embrace for several more minutes before disentangling herself and heading to the bathroom, shutting the door before he could join her and locking it. She wanted to do this by herself. She needed to.

…_**. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

She wanted to vomit.

In more ways than one.

Part of her wanted desperately for her body to start showing some kind of sign to her before this damn test was over. The other part was nauseous with nervous energy.

She glanced at her watch and huffed lightly.

A minute and thirty seconds left.

She paced in the small confined space of his bathroom.

Three steps to the wall.

Three steps to the door.

Three steps to the wall.

Check the watch.

It was like a dance routine.

She picked anxiously at her nails as she made another pass back and forth between the wall and door and checked her watch.

30 seconds.

She bounced lightly in place and ran a hand through her hair.

So many scenarios were racing through her mind's eyes.

A dark haired daughter with pigtails and a little red dress, happily coloring away on Daddy's lap while he was doing paperwork.

A raven haired boy playing with Jack and idolizing him as they grew and learned together.

She glanced at her watch and watched the seconds tick past.

10…

9…

8…

7…

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

She sighed and reached forward for the stick, but froze once she got it in her hand. Her hands quivered as she gripped it tightly. Her large dark eyes not even looking at the results, just staring at the white and purple stick and feeling the nausea comeback in ten-fold.

What if it was negative? She'd never contemplated that. She'd never thought about what would happen if the test was negative. How would it affect her and Aaron? Would he be thrilled? Disappointed? Relieved? She jumped at the soft knock on the door and turned to open it, revealing him leaning against the door frame.

"I heard you stop pacing and figured it was time. Have you looked?"

She shook her head and held the test out to him, silently asking him to look for her. He slid the test from her hands and wrapped one of his around hers, "Hey… look at me."

She lifted her eyes to his and he grinned, leaning forward and kissing her gently, "I love you."

She sighed softly in relief and licked her lips, "What does it say?"

He turned it over and let his dark eyes read the small digital screen, and read the 8 letter word over and over again. He swallowed hard and turned his eyes to hers, tearing rimming both sets of eyes in anticipation. He moistened his lips and shook his head from side to side. His arms wrapped around her tight as her legs nearly gave way while a soft sob broke from her mouth. He dropped the test to the floor and pulled her tight to him. "I've got you, sweetheart."

…_**. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**_

She couldn't sleep.

It was all so real for a moment.

It was so close she could've tasted it. That family she wanted.

It had been so real in her mind.

She sipped her mug of tea slowly, tears sliding down her cheeks slowly as she sat on the floor of their living room, her back pressed up against the box. She sighed heavily and dropped her head back on the cardboard, a soft thump filling the space. She closed her eyes and set the mug down next to her, before wrapping her arms around her chest, in a weird self hug, and shaking with silent tears. She jolted lightly as a tiny hand rested on her cheek, and she opened her eyes, meeting the soft honey brown eyes of Jack Hotchner. He was frowning and swiftly rubbed his palms on her cheeks, wiping her tears away before settling on her lap and looking up at her.

"Why you sad?"

She smiled sadly and moistened her lips as she looked at the young boy sitting on her legs in his pyjamas. She ran her fingers through the fine hairs on his head, her short nails gently massaging his scalp. She sighed and shrugged, "Because I didn't get something I wanted."

Jack frowned more, his face eerily similar to that of his father's, "Mommy says that I can't get everything I want."

She nodded slowly and let her palm rest on the back of his head, "Your mommy is right."

He tilted his head and shrugged, "Mommy says not to cry if I don't get something I want."

She chuckled softly and shook her head, "And she's right. You shouldn't."

He shifted on her lap and frowned, "So why you crying?"

She tugged him closer and hugged him tight to her, "Because I really wanted this, Jack. Real bad."

She sat with him resting against her for a moment longer and leaned back from him, "And what are you doing out of bed, mister? It's too late for you to be up and about."

Jack shrugged, "Couldn't sleep."

"Seems to be an epidemic of that going through this house."

Emily's eyes lifted from the honey eyes of Jack to the onyx eyes of Aaron. She smiled tentatively and released her arms from around the boy. He cuddled into her some more and held tighter to her. "Daddy, Emily is sad."

Aaron nodded and huffed, "I know, buddy."

Jack rested his head to Emily's chest and yawned, "Will you…" yawn, "Make her feel better?"

She stood carefully, balancing him against her and carried him back to his race car bed, lying him down on the mattress as Aaron came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle.

"I'll try, kiddo."

The words fell on silent ears as Jack drifted back off to dreamland while Aaron pulled Emily from the room and shut the door behind him. He lead her back to their bedroom and guided her into the room, before shutting the door behind them and leaning on it. He crossed his arms and watched her sit down on the bed and drop her head forward. This wouldn't do. She was too strong for this to take her down. He scratched the back of his neck, trying to think of something to lighten the mood, and grinned evilly. "So, Garcia put something in the case file I took with me to Roanoke."

Silence.

He frowned and walked over to the bed, crawling onto the side of the mattress opposite from her and crawling towards her, his body coming up behind her and his head resting on her shoulder. He kissed her temple gently and sighed, "I like your hair better this way."

She lifted her head slightly and turned to look at him, confusion written all over her features. He mentally cheered over the distraction working and smiled, "Don't get me wrong, you've always been beautiful but the black lipstick and weird hair were not a turn on."

He couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped his mouth at her gasp and horrified expression. He leaned backward, taking her with him and lying them down on the bed, his arm over her as they spooned on the large bed. "I'm going to kill her."

He kissed the back of her head and sighed, "No, you're not. She's the best technical analyst the FBI has."

She hummed lightly and pouted, "Then, I'll just hurt her. Maybe I can steal one of her laptops. That'd do some serious damage."

He grinned against her hair and nodded, "That I'll condone."

A heavy silence filled the room as his hand stroked her forearm before entwining with hers. She studied their joined hands and sighed, "You have a very wise little boy."

He laughed softly and kissed her shoulder, "Yes, I know."

She shook her head and turned over onto her back, looking up at him, "We had a very serious talk about not getting what we want and how I shouldn't be crying."

He smirked and nodded, "And?"

She reached up, tracing the backs of her fingers over his cheek and grinned, "And I'm done crying."

He sighed in relief and rested his forehead to hers, "So what does that mean?"

She kissed him gently and slid her hand to the back of his neck, as her lips moved to his ear, "It means we get to keep trying."

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><p><em><strong>See that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Hate it? Like it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	18. 3x20 LoFi and 4x01 Mayhem

**A/N: **I want to start by thanking my amazing reviewers. **Charmony, Rugbygirrl, Tigerlily02, HPForever-after, HGRHfan35, krisphoenix, x-MJ-x, Maguchi, sarahb2007, Piasya7, greengirl82, GibbsIsMyGod, Tigerlily888: **You guys inspire me every week. Without you, I'd be nothing. Thank you SO much for everything.

To my beta, Michelle: Woman, you know just how hard I worked on this chapter and the incredible things I had to do to get it done. But it's up and it's time to make things happen with it. Thank you for sticking by me.

Greengirl82, Maguchi, and HGRHfan35, Thank you all for the input and talks this week! I adore you all!

This chapter takes place over TWO episodes. **3x20 "LoFi" and 4x01 "Mayhem"**

_**If I haven't told you yet, then I'll announce it now, I AM CONTINUING THIS THROUGH SEASON 4, and possibly through 5 and 6.**_

This chapter is definitely angsty and emotional (Hotch does almost get blown up after all), but I promise that things will get better in the next chapter. Have faith my readers.

**ALSO, as per request of several reviewers**… if/when the time comes for a baby, I will be opening up a poll for gender and name. So you may want to start thinking of these things. ;)

This chapter is almost 9,000 words long. The longest I've ever written. Enjoy! :D

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! **_I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

* * *

><p><strong>Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love. -Mahatma Gandhi<strong>

She hated feeling like this.

Like she was being lied to.

Like she needed to feel insecure in her relationship.

Like there was some deep, dark secret about to be unleashed; or like the rug was about to be pulled out from underneath her feet.

She stared blankly at the wall as her hands moved in practiced precision. Filling the coffee mug. Putting in the cream. Putting in the splenda.

She whisked the coffee with the little plastic straw over and over before tearing open a second packet of Splenda and pouring it in.

More whisking.

He wasn't telling her something.

She had sensed it right from the beginning.

As soon as she'd woken up to a cold bed and no evidence that he'd been at the apartment, she knew something was up.

She grit her jaw as she thought about his cold, calculated demeanor in the conference room, how he'd been quick to avoid her eyes, how he'd managed to not address her until she forced him to.

No, there was definitely something wrong with this whole thing, and she was fairly sure what the problem was.

Kate. Joyner.

She didn't even know the woman and she wanted to punch her in the face.

The fact that he knew her had been like someone dumping ice water over Emily's head. His nonchalant dismissal of that fact and his inability to look at her as he said it had literally felt like a smack to her face and the hurt that had caused was only rivaled by his ability to just rattle off her statistics to Morgan and his proclamation of how lucky they were to have her.

She stirred in another pack of Splenda in the coffee mug and tried to not focus on the anxiety radiating through her. She didn't want to admit that she saw something; that she'd seen a look cross his face when he'd uttered the other's woman name. She counted backward from 10, took long, shallow, calming breaths; nothing seemed to be calming her down. She jolted slightly at the touch on her lower back and lifted her head to see David Rossi standing next to her.

"You okay?"

She forced a tight smile onto her lips and nodded quickly, before taking a sip of her coffee and gagging on the overly sweet drink. She set the mug down in the plane sink and glanced down at the counter, her eyes taking in the 10 empty yellow packets lying scattered across it. She closed her eyes with a hard exhale and shook her head 'no'. She dropped her head forward into her hands and bit her lip. She didn't fight him when he turned her into his arms and hugged her close, his hands rubbing up and down her back slowly.

"What's going on, kiddo?"

She leaned back and shrugged, her hands tucking her dark hair behind her ears as she looked past him to where Hotch was sitting, staring intently at the file. "Something's not right. I know that look. I've seen that look from him. He usually gives that look to me."

He nodded and rested his hands on her shoulders, "You're threatened?"

She shook her head and scoffed, "No. I'm not feeling threatened at all. I mean, feeling threatened would mean that I feel secure. That I know at the end of the day, he'll be coming home with me."

She sighed and licked her lips, "No, Dave, I'm not threatened." She stepped away from him and swallowed hard, her oesophagus moving as if she was swallowing pure molasses. She leaned her butt against the counter in the kitchenette and crossed her arms over her chest, "I'm terrified."

She met his eyes with a soft, ironic laugh and shrugged, "I'm terrified because I don't know what I'm up against, but I know she has to be something special because he's not acting like himself. He can't meet my eyes. He's being snappy. He won't talk to me. He-"

She quieted her voice and shook her head, gritting her jaw tight for a moment before looking at him again, "He didn't come home last night, Dave. I don't know what's going on. It's like he's a complete different person than who he was two days ago. And I don't know what to do about it."

He mirrored her stance, leaning against the counter next to her, "She could be really nice."

She gave an unladylike snort and dropped her head back, "Right. I forgot. We're 'lucky to have her.' Unbelievable, I'll show him lucky to ha-"

He tucked his hands into his pockets and shrugged with a soft laugh, "Come on. Give him the benefit of the doubt Emily…"

She snorted again and rolled her eyes before turning to look at him, "Why would I do that, Dave?"

He smiled wider and sighed, "He has worked with her before. Maybe that's what you're-"

She held her hand up and gave a bitter laugh, "No no no, Dave. They didn't work together. They _liaised._" She shook her head and gave a low chuckle, "Do you know how many times my mother _liaised_ with someone?"

She gave him a pointed look and smirked, "I'm not stupid, Dave. This 'benefit of the doubt' shit won't work on me. Are you forgetting what we do for a living? We read behavior and right now, his behavior is reading like I need to be worried."

She ran a hand through her hair and opened her hands at her side, "Why am I surprised? This is what I get for thinking something like this could work out."

He took several steps forward and pulled her back into his arms, holding her close and rubbing her back in soothing circles as her forehead dropped to his shoulders, "It's going to be okay."

He glanced out the kitchenette at the raven haired man who was so clearly wrapped up in the case file that he wasn't even aware of what she was going through. He rested his cheek to the top of her head and closed his eyes at her soft whimper against his suit coat. He sighed and rocked her tenderly, hoping to relax her enough that she'd be able to focus on this case, because he could tell it was going to be a rough one.

**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**

She fought the urge to laugh when she actually saw the blonde approaching them.

She was in Hell.

Pure and simple.

It was absolutely unbelievable.

There was no turning back this time.

She wasn't just going to punch the woman in the face.

Oh no.

She was going to inflict as much pain as humanly possible.

Mentally she started to list each and every torture technique they'd seen in their past cases. Burning victims alive, whipping them, letting rats feed off their flesh, burying them alive… the list was endless and she wanted to inflict them all on this woman. She paused as she thought about Gideon's one time nemesis Frank and how he cut his victims apart while they were still alive. Wicked as it sounded, right now it brought her great joy to imagine herself doing that to this woman in front of her. She glanced at JJ as they approached the woman and rolled her eyes before muttering under her breath, "Welcome to hell."

"_Is it just me, or does she look exactly like Haley?"_

Emily's blood turned to ice at the observation made by JJ. She looked at her friend and felt her jaw drop slightly. She watched as every member of the team stared at the British woman before casting tentative glances her way, everyone that is, except for Aaron Hotchner. She felt Rossi's sympathetic gaze on her and gave a small shrug. He winked at her and gave her a small supportive grin before returning his gaze to the blonde and giving her his complete attention. Emily screwed her professionalism to the sticking place and fought the urge to stalk up and stake a claim to Aaron. She moved along briskly with the team and came up to the woman with tension radiating through her body, and then she heard it.

"_Aaron_."

The pit of her stomach dropped and she would've sworn she was ready to vomit. Everything around her seemed to fade away and she swallowed back the need to cry. This had to be some other world. Some sick twisted joke that fate was playing on her. Was this karma coming back around to kick her ass for her being with Aaron before he'd been officially divorced from Haley? What the fuck had she done to deserve this? She was brought back to reality by a small hand seeking hers out and giving a tender squeeze. She glanced down at her hand and smiled, seeing JJ's fingers laced through hers in a sign of silent support. She smiled at the blonde and squeezed her hand in return before taking a deep breath.

She opened her mouth to whisper to JJ about how much this was going to suck but stopped when she saw the two NYPD detectives walk up and begin speaking. She eyed them both and grinned subtly as JJ nudged her. She gave a small nod and wiped the grin from her face as quickly as she could before the British accent broke through her state of conscious again, "Can I have a word with you in private?"

Her eyes flicked to JJ's immediately, and she was comforted that she was met with the blonde's supportive stare. She squeezed her hand tightly and watched him follow her to her office before Emily turned to JJ and grinned. "They_ liaised_ together when she was at Scotland Yard."

JJ's eyes lit up in recognition of why this was taking such a toll on Emily and she fought the laugh she felt bubbling in her chest at Emily's clear disgust with the woman, "Of course."

She stayed close to Emily and kept her occupied as introductions were made between the team and detectives, Cooper holding his hand shake with Emily for a moment too long. She bit back her grin and nodded to the coffee, speaking low to JJ, "I'm going to get some coffee. Want anything?"

JJ shook her head quickly and watched the brunette head away, grinning to herself as the dark haired detective tagged along behind her like a puppy dog. She glanced at Reid and smirked, "Looks like Hotch has some competition too."

Reid's eyebrows furrowed and he looked at Emily and the cop and then to the office where Hotch and Kate were before looking back at JJ, "What?"

She shook her head and sighed, "Never mind, Spence. Just go keep an eye on Emily, will you?"

She watched as he headed over and began a conversation with the two brunettes by the coffee. She watched as Emily laughed and shook her head and although she couldn't make out the conversation she could almost feel the sexual tension even across the room. She sighed in relief as the dark haired agent walked away and she darted over to her, "You were flirting with him."

Emily rolled her eyes and took a long sip of her coffee, relieved that she hadn't over sweetened it this time. She shook her head as she swallowed and smiled at her, "I was not. I was simply informing him that we are here to help."

JJ smirked and tilted her head, "Oh please. I could see you melt when he smiled all the way over there. What was it?"

Emily shrugged and lifted the coffee mug to her lips, speaking against the rim before she took a sip, "He has dimples."

She sipped her coffee slowly as she watched JJ's grin grow into a full blown smile. She gave a slow nod and shrugged, "Two can play this game. I just hope Aaron knows what he's gotten himself into."

**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**

He had no excuse.

There was nothing he could formulate in his mind to even attempt to explain this.

All he knew was this was something he'd never anticipated happening.

He'd never expected that he'd have to see her again, and he never expected having to introduce Emily to her.

He watched her as she stood with Reid and Cooper talking about the case and couldn't tear his eyes away as she smiled at Cooper. He'd noticed their connection within moments of being around them and a part of him wanted to pull her aside and stake his claim, while the other part knew why she was doing what she was doing. He'd screwed up. He'd been handling this wrong since the very beginning. He should've warned her, he knew he should've but it was one of those things that he thought he could pretend never happened.

Until he came here.

Until he saw her again.

Then he knew that his deep, dark past secret he'd been hiding from Emily was about to come to light and bite him in the ass. Hard.

He dropped his eyes as she started to turn to look at him and immediately returned his attention to Kate and their discussion of what was going to be necessary. He could feel her eyes on him and he could almost picture the hurt in her large brown eyes. He could almost see the glimmer of hope that maybe he could turn this ship around and make good with her. He nodded as Kate suggested they continue their conversation in her office and headed in, his hand guiding her into the office and shutting the door behind them.

**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**

She wasn't sure how she felt.

The last 12 hours had been nothing but a solid haze of coffee, anger, confusion, and adrenaline.

All that and she was still trying to focus on the case.

Her head throbbed, an impending migraine making its presence known over her left eye and she massaged at the temple gently as she mentally reminded herself to stay in control.

_Just get to the room._

_Get to the room and the hot shower._

_Get to the room, the hot shower, and the mini bar._

Being in the same room with him was tough, being in the same car with him had to be some test to her strength because she was just about ready to reach over and strangle him. JJ and Reid sitting in the backseat talking about the case was the only salvation. It was enough to break the awkward silence that was filling the front seat as she snuck glances at him and he snuck glances at her. As they progressed into the hotel, she could feel the dull throbbing over her eye begin to spread to her temple, and then the back of her head.

She wasn't sure if she could handle one more surprise for the day.

No, she was positive she couldn't handle one more surprise.

She was at her wits end.

And then it happened.

"_I'm pregnant."_

She felt like she'd been punched in the face. She couldn't stop the pang of jealousy that ricocheted through her as JJ confessed her pregnancy. She smiled and congratulated her, her eyes flicking to catch Hotch's expression and feeling her body warm at his slight smile; but then he turned his eyes from her and wouldn't acknowledge her, and the warmth faded. She nodded as Hotch announced that they would give them privacy and turned to leave.

The ride up in the elevator was a step beyond awkward. She couldn't imagine how weird it had to feel for poor Reid, being stuck in a large metal box with a couple that was barely being social with each other. She watched him get off on his floor and offered him a good night before the doors slid shut and left her and Aaron alone on their progression up to their designated floor. She swallowed hard as they headed to their separate hotel rooms, and swiped her key card quickly, wanting to get into her room and cry. The day had taken a toll on her and all she wanted was to just take a hot shower and go to bed. She turned around when the door hadn't shut and met his eyes with hers. She stared at him, holding her hotel room door open and gave a small nod for him to enter. He sighed and stepped into the room as she walked further into the space and sat down on the edge of her bed.

Awkward silence filled the room for several moments. Her staring at her hands in her lap, him staring at her as he stood by the door. He ran a hand through his hair and opened his mouth to speak but was beat to the punch by Emily, "You're a real piece of work, Aaron."

She shook her head and looked up at him, "So tell me, while you were _liaising_ with Kate, how many times did you fuck her?"

She shrugged with a bitter laugh and licked her lips, "Or did you wait until after the case had been solved? Maybe you showed up at her door, emotional from a fight with Haley, and fell into her arms."

She gave a short huff of air and tilted her head, "Or was I the only one who got to experience that little show?"

She stood up and opened her hands at her sides and laughed, "Oh no. I know what you did. You took her to her hotel in your car and you told her you loved her right? That she was the only one for you, right?"

He watched her eyes darkened as her ironic smile straightened out, "Or did you only play those games with me? Because let me tell you, Aaron, I know something happened. I know that you're not telling me something and I know that you are deliberately hiding it from me."

She snorted softly and shook her head, "You know what's sad? I can't even be mad at you for this. I can't even hate you for not talking to me because I'm almost positive this is what Haley put up with. I feel like in some sick twisted way this is fucking fate making me pay for how you and I got started. Some sick twisted fucking deity is showing me exactly how it must've felt for Haley when you were with me. Keeping secrets, not meeting her eyes, not telling her things. Yes, this must be exactly what she felt and right now, I'm using every ounce of self control I have to keep from calling her up and telling her that I admire the hell out of her for being strong enough to survive it."

She ran a hand through her hair and turned to the window, walking over to it and staring out at the skyline of New York City, "I don't want to talk to you tonight. I don't want you to stay in the room with me. I don't even want to think about you existing right now. Get out."

At his silence, she turned around and pointed at the door, her voice raising several octaves, "GET OUT."

He gave a slow nod and shrugged, "Good night, Emily."

She watched the door shut behind him and dropped to her bed, her head cradled in her hands as she finally released her reins on her self control and wept. Her body shook with each sob, and her chest ached for air as the tears burned down her cheeks like fire.

**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**

"What the hell did you see in him?"

She jumped so high she felt she could've almost hit the ceiling. She whirled around to see Derek standing in the lobby of the NY FBI office and she reached out, touching his arm gently, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Hotch, Emily. What the hell did you see-"

She held up her hand and took him by the elbow, leading him away from the center of the room to an isolated corner, "Slow down. What did he do?"

He snorted and shook his head, "He actually had the balls to tell me it wasn't in my 'place' to talk about her decisions and that we need to stay focused on the case."

She sighed and rubbed his bicep, "It's killing me to admit this right now, but he's right, Morgan. We need to stay focused on the case and put up with whatever choices she makes."

At his continued tenseness she squeezed his shoulder, "There's something else, isn't there?"

He sighed and looked at her with guilt written across his features, "Do you know how hard it's been not to kick his ass over the way he's been acting? Like this Joyner is some living god here on Earth? I'm your partner, Emily. Do you think I haven't seen how this is eating you up?"

She smiled and rubbed his shoulder gently as he continued, "So when he told me to stay focused on the case… I told him that in my opinion, all his focus was on her."

Her hand froze on his shoulder and she met his dark, angry eyes with her wide, shocked orbs. "You did what?"

He licked his lips and smiled, reaching up and pinching her chin, "Nobody messes with my partner and gets away with it."

She felt her chest heave and tugged him close, her arms wrapping around him tight as she hugged out her complete gratitude for him. Leave it to Derek Morgan to stand up for her when she needed it most.

**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**

The room stilled as gunshots rang out over their open line of communication.

"Garcia, we've got an officer down."

Dave's eyes swung to Hotch and met his, concern etched in both their features as Emily spoke, talking to Cooper and telling him he was going to be okay. Hotch ran his hand through his hair, relieved that she was alright, at least for the time being.

"Garcia, can you see us?"

Dave watched as Aaron's stoic professionalism took over and he pushed any and all emotion from his face. Aaron's attention returned to the blonde by his side and he turned his head to her murmuring only loud enough that she could hear. Rossi caught Aaron's eyes and nodded to the side. He met Aaron at the quietest corner of the room, Emily's voice still echoing around the space as Dave fought to keep his voice low but strong, "You're being a jackass."

He looked up at the older man and sighed, "What?"

Dave narrowed his eyes and took a step towards him, "You're putting her before the case, before the team; and you're putting her before Emily."

Hotch shook his head, "You're wrong, Dave. I'm doing my job," he gave him a pointed stare and started to walk past him.

He nodded and crossed his arms over his chest, "Haven't you learned anything?"

Hotch froze mid-step and Dave prepared for hell to come down on him. But Aaron stayed still and Dave continued to push, "Did losing Haley teach you nothing? Do you even know how Emily's taking this? Has she talked to you? Because she's talked to me. She's talked to JJ. And I'll bet she's talked to Morgan."

He walked towards him slowly and spoke to Aaron's back, knowing that the man was listening attentively, "You have something great with her. Don't screw it up because of whatever history you have with this woman. Emily loves you, Aaron; and she loves Jack."

"How long are we going to stand here listening to this?"

Dave's head turned to see Reid standing next to him, his arms crossed over his chest as he fidgeted, "I mean, shouldn't we be on our way to help her?"

Reid looked between the two men and held his gaze on Hotch for a moment before appealing to Dave with concern etched in his eyes, "That is Emily. She needs our help."

His jaw dropped slightly as Hotch remained expressionless and he shook his head, "I'm not just going to pretend we can't hear this. We know where she is."

Dave gave a firm nod and glanced at Detective Bruston, "Let's go."

He turned back, giving Hotch and Kate a pointed glare before turning back and quickly heading over to the crime scene.

**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**

"Emily!"

Her head lifted as she stayed close to where Cooper was being worked on by the paramedics, her hands still stained with his blood and she stared straight into the eyes of David Rossi.

She held her hands up and took a step back, "I'm fine."

He took in her appearance, her jacket crumpled on the pavement next to Cooper's body, undoubtedly the thing that she'd been using to apply pressure to his wound, her shirt, also stained with his blood, and her shaking hands. He pulled his white cotton handkerchief from his back pocket and passed it to her, letting her wipe her hands clean as he rubbed her back, "He'll be okay, Emily."

He watched as her eyes darted around the scene, looking for the one person that she needed to draw comfort from at the moment and sighed, "He's still at headquarters."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, "Why am I not surprised?"

She watched as they hoisted Cooper up onto the gurney and rolled him to the ambulance, following him to the vehicle and freeing Dave to head over to the unsub with Reid.

This whole thing had been a blur for her. Cooper, firing her gun, trying desperately to get him to hold on until the ambulance arrived. She did a double take as she saw JJ and Morgan approach, a sense of calm washing over that at least they'd managed to come. She managed to go through the motions of talking things out with them, and then her breath hitched as she saw him arrive with Kate. She watched him ignore the ambulance and head straight for the unsub, her heart breaking with each step he took away from her. She smiled weakly as both Derek and JJ touched her arms and nodded at them, "I'm okay."

JJ stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tight, "Is it horrible of me to say that I'm glad it wasn't you?"

Emily chuckled and rubbed her back gently, "I don't think Cooper would appreciate that, but thanks Jayje."

She smiled at Derek over JJ's shoulder, then closed her eyes, reveling in the comfort she drew from the blonde's embrace.

**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**

"We've got a 10-80 at the Federal Plaza. Repeat. 10-80 at Federal Plaza."

She couldn't breathe.

"We've got a 10-80 at the Federal Plaza. Repeat. 10-80 at Federal Plaza."

She couldn't move.

"We've got a 10-80 at the Federal Plaza. Repeat. 10-80 at Federal Plaza."

She couldn't see straight.

Her dark eyes stared at the radio for several seconds that felt like hours as the report echoed around inside the SUV.

"Confirm 10-80 at Federal Plaza involving a Black SUV."

Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach as the description of the car rang out.

"Dispatch, any reports on survivors?"

Her hands shook heavily as she grabbed her phone and dialled him off speed dial, her heartbeat thumping in her ear as she listened to it ring, and ring, and ring, and then go to voicemail.

"Negative. No reports. Report to nearest NYPD Critical Incident Command Post."

She disconnected the call and retried, once, twice, three times, anxiously doing whatever she could to get in touch with him.

"Repeat. 10-80 in Federal Plaza. Black SUV. No reports on survivors. Report immediately to NYPD Critical Incident Command Post."

Her eyes rimmed with tears as she tried him a fourth, fifth, sixth time even. She jolted at the heavy knocking on her passenger side window and lifted her eyes to find Detective Bruston standing there. She rolled down the window as a tear slipped down her cheek and she licked her lips, "NYPD Critical Incident Command Posts?"

He nodded grimly, "You can follow me."

She plugged her bluetooth in and turned her car on, flicking on her sirens and following behind the older detective, her speeds going upwards of 100 mph and her attention focused solely on getting in touch with him.

She dialed and redialed him over and over. Frustration taking over her heart and soul as she kept getting thrown to his voicemail.

"Come on, Aaron. Please…"

She felt her chest tightening with every ring and hung up, only to try again.

"Come on, baby. Please pick up…"

She jumped as her phone rang and answered immediately, "Is everyone okay?"

Everything swirled around her, Garcia and Morgan's voices, the sounds of the sirens, the rush of the wind past her vehicle, and the deep thunderous sound of her own heartbeat. At the sound of JJ's voicemail, Emily's breath hitched a second time. "Try her again, she's probably back at the…"

The sharp sound of the call disconnecting hit her like a train and she smacked her steering wheel hard, "GOD DAMN IT!"

She dialed them again and threw her phone at the windshield, "Fuck."

He felt horrible.

Not because he couldn't really hear out of his right ear.

Not because he'd survived a horrible explosion.

Not because Kate Joyner lay dying in his arms on the pavement.

He felt horrible because his mind wasn't here with her, but several miles away with a brunette who he'd been treating like dirt.

He looked down into Kate's eyes and sighed deeply, the color and sparkle in her eyes slowly ebbing and going dull. She was fading fast. He swallowed hard and sent up a silent prayer that even if this was how he was going to go, that somewhere Emily was tucked away safe and unharmed. That this had been a single episode and that she hadn't been hurt.

She pulled into the command post and raced inside, her feet barely touching the ground as she moved into the building and was pointed to the location of her team. She felt her heart almost give as she came face to face with Rossi and Reid, already knowing that Morgan and Garcia were safe. That left JJ and Hotch and the idea of either of them being blown away by an explosion made her sick. "Garcia had us on conference and the system crashed."

"Emily."

She turned around and though a small part of her was calmed, the bigger part of her felt like dying, "Oh thank God, you're alright."

She went through the motions of her job, making sure everyone else was okay while her mind whirled with what this meant.

It was Hotch.

Aaron.

He'd been the only one at the Federal Plaza.

He'd been the one hit by the blast.

She looked between the team members, her eyes filling with tears until she heard Garcia's voice and then the dreaded confirmation that indeed, Hotch and Kate had been the ones targeted.

She ran her hand through her hair as Garcia and JJ went to work, leaving her with Reid and Rossi. She closed her eyes and leaned her palms against the desk, her back facing the two men as she fought against her emotions.

He stepped over, resting his hand on her upper back and rubbing back and forth, "Garcia said he looks like he's okay."

She shook her head and looked at him, tears rimming her dark eyes, "You know, Aaron, Dave. He thinks he's fucking Superman. Even if he was hurt he wouldn't show it. Not if there's someone else around to see him like that."

He sighed and gave her shoulder a squeeze, "He did with you."

She snorted and wiped her eyes, "Yeah and look where that got us."

She licked her lips and sighed, "I hate that I'm so worried about him when…"

He smiled and shrugged, "Don't. You love him. This is part of that. I'm sure he's out there worried about you too."

She jumped as she heard her cell start to ring and grabbed for it frantically, "Aaron?"

"Sorry Princess."

She dropped into the chair behind her and ran her hand through her hair, "Morgan."

He sighed and couldn't help the slight grin that appeared on his lips, "Wish I was him, Emily. I know you're worried."

She huffed lightly, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine and so is he. I was with him for a little bit. He's a little beat up, but he's still kicking, Emily."

She smiled, her body relaxing slightly in relief, and looked up at their team, "Morgan's safe."

"Emily, just listen, don't say anything."

She glanced up as Reid began to speak and obediently kept her mouth shut as Morgan continued, "Emily, I don't think she's going to make it. I saw her condition and it wasn't looking good. A lot of blood loss and she wasn't conscious when I was with them. I think he's going to take it pretty hard. You need to prepare yourself for that. I'm on my way to the hospital to check on him. He's going to need his go-bag. Pick it up and have it with you. And Emily… Just think about what I said."

He hung up on her and she pulled the phone from her ear, her mind rolling back and forth over the possibility that Kate Joyner wouldn't live to see tomorrow and the implications that that would bring with Aaron.

She glanced up as JJ declared where they were taking Hotch and Kate and felt her heart flutter. Part of her wanted to be with him desperately, part of her was still deeply hurt by his treatment of her, and part of her knew that her job, and his, required that she stay here and work the case.

She glanced down at the computer screen, watching the explosion over and over on repeat. Her eyes taking in every second and watching his body fly out of the frame as the SUV exploded. She felt terrible for the slight lilt in her heart that he hadn't been worse hurt and that it was Kate that was suffering. She would've never wished harm on the woman, but right now, she couldn't help but feel slightly relieved that in some way or another this thing could be over in a few hours; and yet, the tiny sliver of hope for her relationship relying on another woman dying made her ill.

"It's Morgan. Hotch wants you guys over there right now."

Emily's heart did a somersault and she grabbed for their laptop. She needed to get over there ASAP.

**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**

"Aaron."

His head whipped to the side as he saw a very familiar brunette come toward him. He took in her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, her navy FBI windbreaker, and her large dark eyes full of worry and concern and gave her a half smile before he wrapped his arms around her tight, holding her pressed firmly against his chest as she clung to his paper hospital gown, her hands fisting in it as she buried her face into his neck for several long moments. She pulled back and ran her fingertips over his cheek, "Aaron, I…"

He gave her a firm headshake and took his bag from her, his eyes dropping away from hers, "Let me change. Go set up."

She nodded and gave him a small smile, "Okay."

She turned around and began to step away from him through the curtain, but his hand on hers stopped him, "Emily."

She turned around, her heartbeat thumping rapidly and smiled, "Yeah?"

He sighed and gave her hand a squeeze, "Can you check on Kate for me?"

Her heart stopped beating and she swallowed hard, forcing herself to keep her smile in place and nodded, "Sure thing."

She stepped through the curtains to his space and closed her eyes, gritting her jaw tight and headed to the nurse's station that the team had taken over, "Any word on _Kate_?"

She bit the name out and glanced up at JJ and Rossi with fire in her eyes. JJ shrugged and shook her head, "Still in surgery."

Emily gave a silent nod of her head and worried her lip between her teeth. He stepped out fully dressed several moments later and she sighed, "Are you okay?"

He focused on his jacket and gave a slight nod of his head, "Yeah. I just want to know why I'm still alive."

She dropped her eyes from him and fought her desire to comment. She caught the explosion footage again on the screen and listened to Reid talk about how the explosion was meant to maim and not kill. She watched him dab at his bloody ear and took in the rest of his appearance. She wanted to feel bad for him being intact and able to move and not injured nearly as bad as Kate had been, but she couldn't bring herself to feel guilty for it. Not when she loved this man so much and cared about him so deeply.

She couldn't believe that it was her having these thoughts. Before him, she never would've been like this. She never would've stood by a man who was treating her like Aaron was right now, but something about him, something about the way he still looked at her, and the way he'd hugged her just moments ago, made her want to stick around. She stared up at him with darkening eyes as he watched the explosion for the first time, and felt her heart drop at the dread that washed over his face.

**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**

She swallowed hard as she watched him take Kate's hand, give it a final squeeze and then cover it with the sheet. She licked her lips and leaned against the door frame before turning and walking away, giving him time to say goodbye to her. She made it over to the team and gave them a somber head shake, "She didn't make it."

They all sighed deeply, either in sorrow, remorse, and maybe even a little in relief. She hugged Morgan tight and rubbed his back, "You stupid ass. I can't believe the hell you just put me through."

He grinned and hugged her close, "I'm just keeping you on your toes, Princess."

She chuckled softly and leaned back, squeezing his shoulder gently, "I don't need you to do that. I already have someone who does a fine job at that."

He grinned and nodded behind her, "Speaking of…"

She turned around and looked at him, her heart breaking at his dejected figure emerging from the room. She moistened her lips and picked at her nails as he stepped towards the team and bypassed them all, straight into her arms. She hugged him close and rubbed his back as he hugged her. Her eyes slipped shut as she held him and she smiled against his neck at the sound of the team leaving them alone, giving them some peace to be together. She schooled her features and stepped back from him, "So you're going to be okay?"

He nodded slowly and took her hand in his, "Emily…"

She tilted her head and blinked at him, waiting for him to continue, and hoping this was the apology she'd so been anticipating.

"I can't fly back with you guys. I need to drive."

Her eyebrows furrowed slightly and frowned. It was starting to sound a lot less like an apology and more like asking a favor.

"More like I need someone to drive me. I'd like for it to be yo-"

She held her hand up and shook her head, her jaw dropped slightly as she gave a soft incredulous sigh of laughter, "Do you really think that's a good idea, _Hotch_?"

He swallowed and nodded, "I thought-"

She licked her lips and tugged her hand away from his gently, "No. You didn't think. I was hoping that after everything that has gone on in the last 24 hours and after our talk in my hotel room earlier this week, that maybe you'd finally managed to hear what I was saying. Obviously, you haven't though."

She took a step away from him and shook her head, "Find someone else to drive you. I'm flying home."

**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**

"You're a real son of bitch, you know that, Hotch?"

Aaron's eyes turned from staring out the windshield and moved to look at Morgan's profile, "Excuse me?"

Morgan shook his head and cleared his throat, "I'm probably going to get some kind of reprimand for this, but I need to say this, man. You have one hell of a woman in Emily Prentiss."

He glanced at him quickly and snorted, "You do know that, don't you?"

At Hotch's continued silence, Morgan shook his head and continued, "Man, every guy at the BAU has a thing for her. EVERY guy. Anderson, Issacs, Bradley… I'm sure I'll get my ass kicked for this, but hell, even Reid and I have talked about her. Do you understand what a catch she is? Or are you just too blind to see it?"

He sighed and let silence engulf them for several moments before continuing, "Do you know how much this whole thing tore her up? Do you? Cause let me tell you, I watched her every time you were strutting around like you were hot shit with Kate Joyner next to you. And I get it, man, she looked like your ex. She brought back all sorts of memories. I get it. But you cannot treat the woman who loves you like she's dirt just because some piece of ass from your past happens to pop up."

Hotch turned his head from Morgan and stared out the passenger side window, watching the scenery fly by as they drove.

"You owe her one hell of an apology, Hotch."

He watched as Aaron stared out the window, emotionless and pulled over. He parked the car and turned it off before turning to him and touching his shoulder, "Look, Hotch. I don't want to piss you off. I just want you to think about this. If you were in her shoes, and you saw her and that detective Cooper making goo-goo eyes at each other, and you saw her giving him all the attention she used to give you, how would you feel?"

Hotch shrugged, "I thought she was."

Morgan raised an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes, "What?"

Hotch met his eyes and nodded, "She was. I might've been distracted by Kate but I'm not blind. I saw the way she and Cooper were looking at each other. I saw the way she touched his elbow occasionally and the way she was flirting with him. Do you really think I wasn't paying attention?"

Morgan snorted and shook his head, "So wait, what did you think was going on? You get to play, she gets to play? Were you thinking this was going to be 'share time'? She wasn't doing anything near the stunts you were pulling. And in fact, on more than one occasion she told him that he didn't stand a chance. Did you ever tell Kate that? Did Kate know you were seeing someone?"

"I didn't want to make Emil-"

"You didn't give a damn about Emily for the entire time we were in New York. Stop trying to play that game with me Hotch. I was there. I saw it. Be a man. For Christ's sake admit that you screwed up, go home, and pray that she hasn't come to her senses and left you the way Haley did."

Silence echoed through the car as Morgan turned back to the steering wheel and pulled back on the road, driving home to DC, while Hotch sat in the passenger seat, his mind marinating on everything that Morgan had said.

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He hated this.

He hated feeling nervous to enter his own damn apartment.

He hated wondering if she was going to be there or if she'd be gone.

He hated that he'd been the one to drive her away like that.

He swallowed his nerves and opened the door, his eyes glancing around the living room, seeing her boxes still there, her purse and go bag dropped onto the sofa, and her shoes discarded against it. He set his bag down next to hers and began to head into the apartment, but stopped at the soft sound of a clinking coming from the kitchen. He headed into the kitchen and saw her standing by the counter, her eyes staring into the mug in front of her and two empty packets of splenda in front of her. He blinked as she slid a mug down to him, "Black. No sugar."

She turned away from him and began to head to the living room, but his hand on her forearm stopped her and she turned to look at him, "What do you want, Aaron?"

He tugged her close and held her eyes, "I'm sorry."

She blinked and nearly dropped her coffee mug. He took it from her and set it down on the counter next to his. He took her hands in his and stared deep into her eyes, "Kate… happened a long time ago. One of my first cases as Unit Chief at the BAU required me to work with her. Haley and I weren't doing great. It was before Jack and I made a bad decision. It was one time and not something I'm proud of."

He squeezed her hands and licked his lips "Long story made short, I never expected to see her again. I never thought…" he sighed and shrugged, "I don't have an excuse. I know that nothing I say is going to make this okay. I know. Trust me. I heard about it the entire way home from Morgan. I know I screwed up. I just, I need to know that you still love me. I need to know that we can work through this."

She looked up at him, tears rimming her eyes and shrugged, "I don't know, Aaron."

She moistened her lips and chewed on the corner of her lower lip for a moment, "I was really hurt by you, by this. I would've understood it all, if you'd just come to me. But you pulled away, put your walls back up, and I don't think I want to have to deal with that again. I mean, what's to say you aren't going to hurt me again?"

He shook his head and released her hands, "I'm telling you that I'm going to do everything in my power not to. Isn't that enough?"

She rolled her lips into her mouth and sighed. She shook her head slowly and shrugged, "I love you, Aaron. I do. And you know I'd do anything for you, but I just… I don't know anymore."

She backed away a couple steps and opened her hands at her sides, "Leopards don't change their spots, Aaron. I guess the only way I'll believe you, is if you prove it to me. But right now, I think I need to be away from you for a while."

He reached for her and she pulled her hand away, "I'm going to go stay with JJ for a while. Help her set up for the baby." She reached over and grabbed her go-bag and purse, before sliding her shoes on, "I'll see you in a couple days, Hotch."

He watched her walk out of the apartment and looked around the space that suddenly felt a whole lot bigger and a whole lot emptier.

His voice was soft as he spoke into the dead silence, "I love you."

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><p><em><strong>I know it seems bad, but it will get better. I promise. The more reviews I get, the faster I'll make them reconcile. ;) So, see that blue button that says REVIEW? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Hate it? Like it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	19. 4x02 Angel Maker

**A/N: **I AM SO SORRY YOU GUYS. I usually reply to all my reviewers personally, but this week between work and my boyfriend, I just got completely overwhelmed. Things have been incredibly hectic. To **rugbygirrl, charmony, HPforever-after, tigerlily02, miaa29, MeGkAtHeRiNe, Morgan, Aimee, Tigereye77, NickNHotchFan, HGRHfan35, fbi-woman, sarahb2007, x-MJ-x. Pise7en, Maguchi, and greengirl82: **THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! I was amazed at the reception the last chapter got. You guys are incredible and I love you all.

To Michelle: Woman. You know all the crap that went down this week. ALL of it. And you stand beside me and won't let go. It means so much to me. I am so lucky to have you as a friend. Thank you.

To GreenGirl82: As always, those messages with what you'd like to see in the next chapter mean so much to me. Thank you for always writing and having some ideas to bounce off of me.

This is set after **4x02 "Angel Maker".**

_Please note... during season 4 is when I'm REALLY going to start to stray from canon. Just be prepared._

_ALSO, as per request of several reviewers… if/when the time comes for a baby, I will be opening up a poll for gender and name. So you may want to start thinking of these things. ;)_

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! **_I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

* * *

><p><strong>The pattern of the prodigal is: rebellion, ruin, repentance, reconciliation, restoration. - Edwin Louis Cole<strong>

Intense tension.

Tension thick enough to cut filled the car.

She glanced up from the plate of cookies and suddenly realized all eyes were on her.

She looked between the team members, her eyes finally landing on Dave and sighed as he gave a pointed glance back towards Aaron's diminishing figure. She dropped her eyes as he returned his gaze to her. She worried her lip for a moment more before reaching to the front seat and grabbing Spencer's shoulder, "Wait."

The car lurched to a stop and she looked between JJ, Morgan and Rossi with hesitant eyes, "This is a really bad idea."

Dave shrugged, "Because…"

She raised her eyebrows and let her jaw slacken for a moment before laughing ironically, "Really, Dave? Are you forgetting New York? Did you have a sudden onset of amnesia?"

Dave licked his lips and leaned forward, "Emily, think hard. What did you feel when you thought he'd gotten killed?"

She swallowed hard and dropped her eyes from his, her pearly white teeth clamping down on her lower lip. She gave a slow shrug and stared at the cookies on her lap, "That was different."

A soft hand settled on hers and her eyes followed the creamy white skin up to the face of Jennifer Jareau, "No, Emily, it's not. Dave's right. You can't just pretend that everything you felt before New York is gone."

JJ gave her a small smile and squeezed her hand, "Do you love him, Emily?"

Emily bit her lip a little harder as she stared past her friends to the dark figure behind the truck and nodded slowly, "Yeah. I do."

JJ chuckled softly and gave her hand a tender nudge, "Then go be with him. It's not going to be an easy road, but go. 7 hours is a long time. Talk to him. Who knows, you may emerge from this stronger than when you went in."

Emily took a shaky breath and then gave a firm nod of decisiveness. She handed Dave the plate of cookies with a small grin and grabbed her go-bag before popping the door open and climbing out. She slammed the door shut and turned around as the team pulled away. She watched him walk to the spare SUV, his shoulders high but his gait still slow from the injuries he'd incurred in New York. She gripped her bag tight, JJ's words echoing in her ears as she swung the bag over her shoulder and began to stride toward him. He stopped at the back of the SUV, throwing his bag in and slamming the gate shut before he turned around and leaned his back to it, his hand reaching up and running through his hair.

He always looked so damn sexy when he did that, mussing his hair up and making him look like she'd just had her fingers wrapped in the short brown strands. She swallowed hard as he pushed off the back of the SUV to head to the driver's side of the car. She took a deep breath and called out to him, "Hotch?"

He stopped walking.

He only had one good ear but that was enough to recognize the voice calling to him.

The voice of the woman who, through the entire case, had been helping him in subtle ways; allowing him to read her lips, trying to help when the first ear ringing spell had occurred, casting concerned glances his way when she thought he wasn't paying attention.

He wanted to turn around.

He desperately wanted to turn around but he couldn't seem to bring himself to do it.

This case couldn't have come at a better time. It had been two days since she'd left the apartment, and he'd been frantic to do something, anything, that would allow him to focus on something other than how empty he felt without her there. The time they'd spent on the case had been somewhat helpful, but seeing her every day, knowing she was still the same woman and still sending those looks to him was giving him hope; hope that he wasn't sure he could handle losing. She called him again, her voice sounding closer and he turned around to look at her.

He could barely believe she was really there.

He gulped down his surprise and let his arms dangle helplessly at his sides as he took in her natural and completely unadulterated beauty. He moistened his lips and sighed, "Emily…"

She smiled as she strode toward him with a timid nod. Her hand gripping the handle of her go-bag so tight, she thought she'd have a permanent imprint in the palm of her hand. She sighed and stopped walking a few yards from him. She rolled her lips into her mouth and shrugged at his inquisitive stare, "So I was thinking… 7 hours is a long time to be alone on the road."

He nodded and gave a slight shrug, "I've had worse."

She gave him a wide smile and chuckled, "I'm sure you have. But since we are all… were all… here together and now that everyone else has left, I thought maybe you would…" she dropped her head, realizing she was rambling and laughed to herself softly for a moment before lifting her head and looking at him with an honest smile on her face, "Would you want some company?"

His lips tilted in a sideways grin and she couldn't help but return it, "I think a little company would be nice. Yes."

She closed the distance between them in several slow strides and set her bag down next to them. Her eyes moved over every inch of his face as she stepped closer to him and reached up, caressing his right cheek with her thumb and tracing her fingertips over his injured ear tenderly. His hand came up to cover hers and their fingers entwined for just a moment before he pulled her into his arms and held her tight to him, in a warm hug full of promise and hope before releasing her. She held his eyes for a long moment and dropped his hand from hers, a slight smirk painting her lips, "Don't get any ideas, Hotchner. This doesn't mean you're back on my good side."

Her hand darted out, stealing the keys from his grasp as she moved around him and headed to the SUV, tossing her bag in the back and climbing into the driver's seat as he watched with an uncharacteristic smile. He'd felt her reciprocate the hug. He'd felt that old spark that had been there between them from day one, and he knew it was just a matter of time. They were meant for each other and regardless of the difficult times they were to endure, they would always be meant for each other. He climbed into the car and couldn't stop himself from sighing in contentment. They were a long way from where they'd been before New York, but they were on their way back.

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It wasn't as uncomfortable as she would've thought.

Being alone with him again.

Being this close to him.

Her hand reached over to the radio and flicked it on, scanning for a good station and smiling widely as she caught the strains of a familiar song. She pulled her hand back and returned it to the wheel. Her dark eyes took in the landscape around them. Dave hadn't been kidding when he'd told Aaron that the drive was going to be beautiful. This was one of the most beautiful things she'd seen in a long time. She softly drummed her hands on the steering wheel while humming along lightly as they drove along the express way, her sunglasses protecting her large brown eyes from the bright sun, but nothing protecting her from the gaze of the of the man next to her. His eyes had been on her for a good majority of the drive thus far and she wasn't sure if she wanted to ask why.

To say that their relationship was on thin ice was an understatement. He'd done the one thing she'd explicitly asked him never to do again. He'd shut her out. He'd made her feel like she was some expendable, unimportant play thing and she wasn't sure that she could handle him hurting her like that a third time. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and saw the intensity in his eyes, the desire to make things right. She had no doubt that he loved her and that he wanted to be with her, but she needed a full commitment; not something that came and went when someone from his or her past became a threat. She wasn't dumb. She knew they both had people in their pasts that they both would like to pretend didn't exist, but the reality of the situation was that those people did exist. They were real and if she and Aaron didn't face them as a team, as a couple united and strong, then there was no hope for their relationship.

He sighed heavily and leaned his head back to the headrest, but kept his eyes on her. He knew she knew that he was staring at her. He couldn't believe she was here. He couldn't believe that she'd given up the short plane ride to come be with him for 7 hours. But part of him was still concerned about her silence and her earlier comment about him still not being on her good side. He wanted to be there, desperately and he was willing to do whatever he could to get there. All she needed to do was show him. She turned her head slightly and met her dark gaze with hers for a moment before turning her eyes back to the road in front of her, "What?"

"Nothing."

She snorted and propped one elbow up on the driver's side door, her head tilting to rest on her hand as she used one hand to manipulate the wheel, "You're a terrible liar, Aaron. At least, you've always been one with me."

She sighed and licked her lips, before casting another glance at him, "Talk to me, Aaron. What's going on in that head of yours? What are you thinking about?"

He swallowed and dropped his head, his eyes studying his hands as they threaded together, "How much I miss you."

Awkward silence filled the car as she continued to drive.

She wasn't sure what to say to that.

She did miss him; desperately so, especially late at night when she was sleeping on JJ's couch and thinking about his arms being around her and holding her close. And she did still love him. But the bigger issue was that he'd hurt her so deeply.

She huffed lightly and guided the car over to the side of the road. Parking there before turning to look at him. She reached forward and covered his hands with hers, "Aaron…"

He kept his face aimed down at their hands, reveling in how good it felt to have her touching him this way again. He turned his hands over under hers, taking her tiny delicate hands into his and holding them gently as she continued, "I miss you too."

His eyes lifted to hers, the bolt of hope electrifying him, hoping this was the reconciliation he'd been hoping for, and then she sighed, and he felt the hope within him diminish. She squeezed his hands and shook her head, "You missing me, you loving me, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that you deliberately chose to shut me out. Do you know what that felt like? Do you know how much that hurt? I would never do something like that to you. I would never deliberately hide someone like that from you, especially not if we were going to be working with him."

She shook her head and caressed the backs of his hands with her thumbs, "I just don't know where this puts us anymore, Aaron. I don't know if I can come back to you and not feel a persistent need to be paranoid about what else you could be potentially hiding from me."

He opened his mouth to speak but her index finger rested over his lips, the tender skin of her finger brushing down his lips gently as she shook her head, "Do not placate me. I don't want to hear you say you're never going to do it again. I don't want to hear about how much you love me. I need to see it. You have to prove yourself to me. It's time to show me what you're made of, Aaron. Are you all talk or can you walk the walk?"

She pulled away from him and pulled back onto the road, the car settling into a thoughtful silence. Each adult wrapped into separate but parallel thoughts about the other and where exactly this was going to take them in their future, if they still had one.

He'd started out this little road trip, thinking they were on their way back to their life together; but now he wasn't so sure. He glanced up, seeing a sign for a bed and breakfast a few miles up and reached over, his hand resting on her thigh, "Can we stop?"

She looked down at his hand and then cast a hesitant glance over to him, "At a bed and breakfast?"

He shrugged and she sighed, "We're getting two separate rooms, and I swear to God, Aaron if you-"

"This isn't about us. I just need to take some time away from work, Emily. I need to not go home right away."

She stopped her rant and studied him for a long moment before taking the exit and locating the building a few miles off the express way. As she stared up at the 2 story, Victorian style house she sighed, a soft inkling of hope soaring in her chest that maybe taking some time from work would bring them both closer together.

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Typical.

Just her luck.

She massaged her temple and bit back her bitter laughter, instead opting to shake her head and sigh.

"Are you sure you don't have two rooms?"

The young woman behind the computer shook her head and sighed, "I'm so sorry. But we only have one available right now. I know it's an inconvenience and I'm sure we can find a way to make up for it."

She waved her hand and shook her head. She shrugged and licked her lips, "No no… this is fine. We'll make it work. Thank you."

She signed off on the room and looked at him over by the door. His profile looking out the windows of the house and the setting sun highlighting his strong, overtly masculine features. She worried her lip between her teeth for a long moment before turning to the young woman and keeping her voice low, "Are there any good restaurants around here?"

He sighed as he heard the soft mumbles coming from behind him and bitterly thought about how just over a week ago he would've been able to have heard what they were saying. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared into the horizon, the oranges and red mixing with the solid gold of the sun as it set over the trees. He couldn't help but feel like it was some screwed up commentary on their relationship. After their talk in the car, he couldn't help but feel like the sun was setting on their relationship; like he was losing everything he valued.

He jumped slightly as her hand traced down the curve of his back, "Aaron?"

He turned and looked at her, and for a moment, it felt like he was seeing her for the very first time. Her bright eyes, her full lips, her high cheekbones, all bathed in the warm, seductive glow of the setting sun and making her look like some vision out of a classic novel. He couldn't stop himself from reaching forward and tucking some hair behind her ear, the tips of his fingers dragging down her neck as she stood close to him and slowly smiled. He left his hand against her neck, his thumb tracing along her jaw as she fought to remain in control and not let him back into her heart. She lost the battle as her eyes closed and her face tilted into his palm, her body warming slightly at his tender caresses. She blinked her eyes open as his thumb traced her lip and she mentally shook herself and pulled her head away, "Come on."

She bent over, grabbing his go-bag and hoisting it up with hers over her shoulder. He reached for it, his fingers brushing hers and sending an electric current down her body, "Emily, I've got a problem with my ear, not my arm."

She chuckled and waved him off, "It's no trouble, Aaron. Really."

Their eyes connected and she swallowed hard as feelings that she had been pushing away started bubbling in her lower abdomen and chest. His fingers brushed her again, intentionally this time, and her jaw slacked slightly as she took a shallow breath, "Aaron…"

He smiled lightly and gave her hand a squeeze before taking the bag from her and replacing the bag with his hand. He let his thumb rub over her knuckles before he squeezed her hand, a silent request for her to take the control and show him where they were staying. She nodded her head and led him up the stairs to their bedroom, stopping at the door and sighing, "They only had one."

She used her free hand to open the door and they stepped into the suite. Her breath hitched at the set up of the room; the wall of windows behind their bed, the hard wood floors with deep red throw rugs strategically placed, the white comforter over the dark red sheets, and the dark mahogany of the wood in the room. She looked around at the white walls, with the soft lighting and the candles scattered about across the expansive room. She turned her eyes to Aaron's and stuttered slightly, "I… If you…"

He chuckled and shook his head, stepping into the room and setting his go-bag down by the left side of the bed. He pulled his suit jacket off and laid it down on the bed as he began to tug his tie off. His movements ceased when he realized Emily had not yet left the door. He glanced up at her and smiled teasingly, "You know you can come in. I don't bite."

She smirked and kicked the door shut behind her as she headed over to the bed, mirroring his actions and setting her bag down on the right side of the bed, "That's a lie and we both know it."

He met her eyes with his and grinned teasingly. She licked her lips as he peeled his tie away and began to unbutton his shirt. "Aaron…"

His movements slowed and he lifted his eyes to hers, seeing the brown orbs darken slightly before she cleared her throat, "There's an Italian place down the street. I thought, maybe we could go get some dinner…"

His hands stilled on the 3rd button down his shirt and he nodded, leaving his jacket and tie on the bed and tucking his hands in his pants pockets, "Sure… But I'm buying."

She rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders as she stepped past him, opening the door and leading him out to the car, his hand settling on her lower back as they walked, surprising her as waves of electricity travelled down her spinal column. She couldn't hide the subtle change in her voice, couldn't mask the slight huskiness, as she replied to him, "When have I ever fought you on that?"

"Well, there was that one time…"

"Shut it, Hotchner."

He grinned at her, seeing that playful yet dark expression on her face and loving that he'd gotten her playful side to come back, even if it was just a subtle reappearance.

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He wasn't sure he could do this.

She was pretty sure this was going to suck.

Actually, he was almost positive that he couldn't do this.

She was sure that the odds of tonight being beyond uncomfortable were really, really good.

He stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and ran his hand through his hair as he swallowed hard. One bed. Him and Emily. While normally those two things were commonplace and full of normalcy, right now, he couldn't stop himself from being beyond excited. In many ways, he felt akin to an awkward teenage version of himself, virginity and all, getting ready to spend the night with the hottest girl in school. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed heavily before opening the bathroom door and stepping back into the bedroom.

She glared at her reflection in the mirror of their bedroom, immediately hating that she hadn't packed more acceptable pyjamas. It wasn't like Aaron hadn't seen her in less clothing, but they were in the middle of trying to figure out how to mend their relationship and, she thought, how fair was it for her to be in a pair of black boy shorts and one of his old shirts. She tried as hard as she could to make herself look as non-sexually appealing as possible, but every time she did, she'd remember something he liked about it and would have to undo it; pulling her hair up into a bun, he liked the easy access to her neck; buttoning the shirt up all the way, he liked having to work for it; taking off all her makeup, he actually preferred her without it. She jerked her head up as the bathroom door opened and froze.

_Oh, God. She's wearing my shirt._

_Oh, God. He's not wearing a shirt._

_She looks beautiful._

_He looks so good._

_I really want to kiss her._

_I really miss being in his arms._

_I still really love her._

_Am I too weak if I forgive him right now?_

_I wonder if…_

_I wonder if…_

He'd never be able to tell which one of them was the first to move but within seconds of his emerging from the bathroom, they were wrapped into each other; his mouth sealed over hers, swallowing her seductive gasp, while his hands became reacquainted with the curve of her back and hips and her hands latched onto his bared chest. He moved his mouth to her neck, kissing down it gently and leaving a subtle love bite on her collarbone, the devil in him wanting her marked as his territory. He barely recognized that his hands had undone the shirt until he heard it flutter down to the floor and felt her bare skin beneath his hands.

She arched into him slightly as his mouth moved down her neck to her chest, kissing across the expanse of skin, licking, biting and sucking over her full breasts and nipples, reminding her just how good he was at this. Her hands secured into his hair, holding tight, clinging to him as he drove her to heights she'd forgotten he could take her to. She whimpered his name sharply as his hands joined his mouth, massaging, tweaking, squeezing in time with each of his licks, sucks, and bites. She cried his name softly and felt her legs start to give, his strong arms wrapping around her, holding her upright as he moved his mouth back to hers and hiked her up around his waist, carrying her to the bed and laying her down on the sheets, his eyes drinking in the sight of her dark hair sprawled beneath her and her full, kiss swollen lips.

He leaned down, pressing his lips to her ear and murmured his love for her as his hand slid down her torso and quickly rid her of her panties before returning to her core and stroking her. She gasped loudly, tossing her head back and fisting her hands in the sheets beneath her as his fingers worked their magic on her, stroking, stretching, massaging. She panted hard and licked her lips, bringing her glazed eyes back up to look at him in wanton desire. She wrapped one hand around the back of his neck and pulled his mouth to hers, teeth clinking, tongues melding, breaths mixing as she kissed him hard and rocked against his hand for several more moments.

She slipped one hand down to his boxers and pushed it into the loose fabric, her hand wrapping around his member and eliciting a cave-man like grunt from him. She stroked her hand over him over and over again and groaned into his mouth as she felt how swollen and hard he was, feeling him throb into her hand. She pushed his boxers down with her hands and looked up at him as she bat his hands away from her and scooted up the bed. She settled against the pillow and met his eyes with hers, opening her arms for him to come join her and giving a breathy laugh as he barely hesitated to climb up and over her, his body blanketing hers as he captured her hands and entwined their fingers. He pressed her hands down into the pillows next to her head and kissed her temple gently, "How's this for showing you how much I love you?"

He lined himself up and plunged his length into her in one solid thrust, his head dropping forward as hers dropped back, her neck arching out as she cried his name softly and tightened her hands in his. Soft pants and gasps filled the air and mixed with the soft thump of the headboard into the wall and the creak of the mattress beneath them for several long moments before she whimpered his name softly followed moments later by a soft grunt of her name and then silence.

He released her hands and started to roll off of her, before she gripped the sides of his ribcage in her hands and held him still, "No."

He swallowed hard and looked down at her, "Emily, I'm crushing you."

She looked up at him and reached up, her fingers brushing through his dark hair as she shook her head, "I'm fine. Just stay for a few moments. I just need to have this."

He nodded silently and replaced his weight on her for a few moments, his mouth tenderly placing butterfly kisses along one side of her shoulders, collarbone and neck, before pressing against her mouth slowly and gently, reminding her why she loved him in the first place. He pulled away from her and rolled them, letting her lie against his chest now and stroked his hand up and down her back, "Em…"

She reached up, pressing the tips of her fingers to his mouth, "No talking, Aaron. Don't ruin it."

He chuckled softly, grasping her wrist in his hand and kissing her fingertips before moving her hand away and kissing the top of her head, "I just wanted to say that I love you."

She hummed softly and kissed his shoulder gently, "I know… and I love you too."

He closed his eyes in satisfaction.

"But don't think this means you're back on my good side."

He couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his lips at her repeating her earlier verbal jab and chuckled softly, "At least we took a step in the right direction, Emily."

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><p><em><strong>What do you think? Are they on their way back to being together or is she going to make him work for it more? Next episode is "Minimal Loss", when she gets beaten up and he has to listen to it; do you think that will strengthen them or weaken them? If you want to play a part in the next chapter, all you need to do is review! <strong>**So, see that little blue button? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Hate it? Like it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506**_


	20. 4x03 Minimal Loss

**A/N:** AGAIN I feel like I've let you wonderful reviewers down by not responding to you each personally. Work is just absolutely bananas and my personal life is going down the crapper right now so it's been a little insane over in my world.

To **LarissaBabehh, x-MJ-x, greengirl82, Tigerlily888, Pise7en, NicknHotchfan, HGRHfan35, Maguchi, sarahb2007, Hpforever-after, Rugbygirrl, charmony, Emilyprentissfan14, Tigerlily02, Lux**: There are NO words for how much those reviews and comments meant to me. They really brightened up the week for me while I watched so many things crumble around me and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. This chapter is probably my favorite one I've written… and I dedicate it to all 15 of you. Thank you.

To **Michelle**: You know that you're my saving grace. When all the chips are down, I know that I can rely on you and a couple other really amazing people to carry me through and that means everything to me. :)

To **greengirl82**: Sweetie, your messages really do help. Thank you so much.

This is set after **4x03 "Minimal Loss"**.

_Please note... during season 4 is when I'm REALLY going to start to stray from canon. Just be prepared._

_ALSO, as per request of several reviewers… if/when the time comes for a baby, I will be opening up a poll for gender and name. So you may want to start thinking of these things. ;)_

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

* * *

><p><strong>When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. - Marcus Aurelius<strong>

It wasn't supposed to feel like this.

He wasn't supposed to be the one feeling like this.

He'd spent his entire life avoiding this feeling.

Failure.

It wasn't something he was familiar with and here he was, staring it in the face, in her face. They'd made little progress since their night in the bed and breakfast. She was still not staying at the apartment. She'd come back, get fresh clothing, get a book, spend time with Jack, but things were still not where they had been. He felt like a failure.

He'd failed their relationship.

He'd failed their team.

He'd failed her.

He watched as she spoke with Reid, her words clearly meant to comfort him. She'd sought out each member of their team, everyone except for him. He couldn't help but hope that was a good sign for them. He watched as she tilted her head back and stared out the window of the BAU jet. He ran his hand over his face and yawned, his eyes slipping shut from the exhaustion of the last few days and the overwhelming emotions he'd felt.

He had wanted to go in to save them. More than once had the urge to play Rambo struck and he'd had to rein it in; but he knew that ultimately he would've only been a hindrance to the team had he gone in. His emotions were too heavily involved, and his hearing was still recovering. He wouldn't have been the strong team leader that he wanted to be and that killed him. Knowing that he wanted to be in there, to save her, to be her Super Man, and that he hadn't been able to, killed him. He opened his eyes and glanced to where she'd been moments before, only to find her spot empty. He looked around the cabin of the jet and still couldn't spot her.

He rose from his seat, the rest of the team pre-occupied in books or music or asleep and headed behind the curtained off area, her sobs and dry heaves muffled by the solid bathroom door of the jet. He knocked twice and leaned back from the door, his eyes scanning her as she opened it; tears streaming down her face. He reached forward and gently tucked some hair behind her ear, his thumb tracing down her temple before she launched herself into his arms and clung to him tightly. He held her close, mindful of her ribs and rested his face and nose to her hair, inhaling that familiar scent that was only unique to her. He did it without thought, and after a moment she sagged against him. He rubbed her back in soothing circles, his body rocking her back and forth gently as he murmured soft platitudes in her ear, listening to her muffle her sobs into his shoulder and chest. After several minutes, her breathing softened to hiccups and he pulled back, his eyes checking her over, before he reached up and gently smoothed her tears off her skin with his thumbs.

She licked her lips and captured his face between her hands, holding it still as she looked up into his dark eyes and felt a fresh wave of tears ready to hit. She whimpered softly and leaned up, pressing her lips to his hard and holding his mouth against hers. He smiled against her lips and rested his hands over hers, before opening his mouth slightly and letting her tongue sneak in, his own meeting it and stroking it gently. He pulled his mouth back when oxygen became necessary and rested his forehead to hers. She moved her hands to his chest, resting her palms to the firm plane and drawing comfort from his rhythmic heartbeat. He kissed her forehead gently and folded her into his arms. She settled her head to his neck and sighed as he rested his lips to her temple and held her close. The scent of her long, black hair filled his senses as it trailed down her shoulders and back and tickled the backs of his hands. He held her to him, willing some of his strength into her for what she was going through.

She fitted perfectly against him, nestling into his chest like a puzzle piece clicking into place. The realization that he didn't want to let her go ever again snapped him to attention. Her soft, whimpering cries wet the front of his shirt but he didn't care. What mattered was getting Emily through this moment. Everything else would find its place later. He held her tighter, finding his own comfort in her warm body against his. She didn't complain that her ribs were feeling the slightest bit tender from his tight embrace; in fact, she burrowed in harder, as if needing the pressure to reassure herself that she was safe. He could feel her soft hiccups and erratic breathing against his chest for a second time and took a deep breath, releasing it in relief.

She glanced up at him, her wet lashes framing her face conveyed fear and uncertainty. He grazed her cheekbone with his thumb and smiled as she ducked her head back under his chin. He didn't know how to tell her that he was in awe of her strength, her determination. That most people wouldn't have had the courage to stare their situation in the face and march forward even when they were scared. But she did. She took the beating. She told them to stay out. She found a way to save as many people as she could. She'd sacrificed herself, once again, to protect her team. He didn't understand how she couldn't see that divine strength in herself. His tongue felt tied and he wished for once that he'd been born with the ability to say pretty things that inspired people.

He felt inspired each time he looked at Emily Prentiss. He always had. But he knew he couldn't say that to her without tripping over himself and looking like a fool, so he remained silent. All he could do was hold her. And so that's what he did.

After a long moment, Emily pulled away and almost couldn't meet his eyes. He reached behind them and handed her a tissue which she gratefully accepted and wiped at her running nose. She inhaled a deep breath and managed a watery smile. She exuded beauty in spite of her wounds and he was momentarily stunned.

"Not my finest moment."

A faint, rueful smile followed, "You never saw that, Hotchner."

He smirked and shook his head, "Saw what?"

He caressed her sides with her hands as she cleaned herself up. "You've been through a lot, Emily. Don't beat yourself up for not being a superwoman."

"I'm not trying to be a superwoman."

He raised his eyebrow at her and tilted his head, his lips tilting into a knowing smile and she rolled her eyes, before grinning at him softly, "Okay… maybe I am… you know, a little."

He laughed softly and leaned forward kissing her gently and smiling as she returned the kiss before deepening it slightly. She pulled back, pressing several chaste, tender kisses to his lips before taking a full step back from him and sighing, "Not here, Aaron. Don't break me here. Not 37,000 feet up."

He gave her a slow firm nod and swallowed hard, his hands still resting on her hips. Silence laden with heartache and need filled the space between them until she offered quietly, "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, Emily," he said, though his body warmed and his arms itched to pull her close again. He shook off that thought with effort, needing to clear his head. He released her body from his grasp and she took the opportunity to move a few more inches away from him.

"Aaron, I think… I think tonight, I'm going to stay with Reid. I think he needs to have me there."

He accepted her decision with a grave nod, knowing at what cost she'd reached it. The moment wasn't appropriate to touch her but he wanted to. His heart swelled with something more than love and envy and he was caught between needing to push it away or grabbing it with both hands and examining it. In the end, he thought it best to leave it be.

She licked her lips and gave him a tentative smile, "But tomorrow night, I'd…" she sighed softly with a slight incline of her head, "Tomorrow night I'd like to come home. If that's still an option for me."

He blinked in complete shock and stared at her for a moment before recovering without giving away the wild riot happening in his head. "It's never stopped being an option, Emily."

She smiled warmly and sighed, "Aaron, I…"

He pressed his fingertips to her lips gently and couldn't stop himself from smiling warmly at her as she shut her mouth and allowed him to speak, "You're a brave woman, Emily Prentiss. I never knew just how brave you were until this case. You've stuck by me through a lot, and I know I'll never be able to repay that debt to you, but I do love you and I will always want you to be a part of my life."

Her lips parted as if to say something but he didn't wait to listen. He didn't dare. His thoughts were already a twisted mess and he needed clarity, not confusion. He slipped out through the curtain and headed back to his seat on the sofa on the jet. He laid down on it and closed his eyes, sleep finally taking him over at the knowledge that she was coming home to him.

**…. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... ... …. ... ... …**

He'd been half asleep in bed when he heard the soft metallic sounds of a key in the lock and then the door opening. He blinked his eyes open in an instant and lunged for his bedside table, grabbing his gun and silently clicking the safety off. He progressed down the hall, shutting the door to Jack's bedroom, his sleeping son tucked away safely. He made it to the living room and froze as he watched her slowly, painfully, strip her jacket off before kicking her shoes off and leaning against the couch, her ribs and back clearly still tender. He clicked the safety back on and took a deep breath before speaking softly, "I thought you were staying with Reid…"

She jolted slightly and winced at the movement, glaring at him for a moment before straightening her body and padding over to him, her arms wrapping around his torso, her hands pressing against his shoulder blades as she looked up at him, "I changed my mind. Is that a problem?"

He glanced at the clock above the TV and smirked, "At 2 am with a sleeping 4 year old in the apartment, yes it is."

She bit her lip at his teasing, yet still serious tone and shook her head, "I forgot we had Jack this weekend. I'm sorry, Aaron."

He shook his head and leaned forward, kissing her forehead gently, "Don't be. He missed you at bedtime. He'll love waking up to you."

She ran her palms up and down his back as she smiled up at him, uncertainty etched into her eyes, "And his father? Will he love waking up to me too?"

He nodded and grinned widely, "There aren't words to describe how happy his father will be."

He kissed her gently and eased back, his eyes running over her face. Most men were stunned by Emily when she had her 'face' on as she called it. But Aaron had never much cared for all that goop mucking up what was already beyond perfect. And now, with her clean skin, hair down and loose, wearing soft, worn out leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, and with numerous bruises and cuts littering her face, she was still the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. He longed to run his hands through her hair, and reacquaint himself with that body, with her skin, with her soul; but she was still fragile and he knew he needed to tap down that desire. Realizing he'd momentarily checked out, lost in thoughts best left alone, he found Emily watching him with uncertainty.

"Is something wrong?"

He ought to lie. But he couldn't. Emily deserved honesty even if he didn't know how to form the words without bungling his intentions. He forced a grin, "It's nothing, just a million thoughts buzzing through my head," he said annoyed at himself for being such a coward. He glanced at her face and was struck with an idea. He kissed her gently and picked up her bag, slipping it into her grasp and nodding her down the hall, "Why don't you go move back in… and meet me in the bathroom in like 15 minutes?"

She raised her eyebrow at his request but gave a slow nod and headed down the hall. He watched her try to hide her subtle limp and headed into the bathroom, turning on the hot water and running it into his tub while adding her favorite salts and bubbles to the water. He lit a few candles in the space and laid out her towels and wash cloth for her. He stripped out of his pajama bottoms, wrapping a towel around his middle and headed into the bedroom, taking her hand gently and leading her into the small, slowly heating, steamy room. She gasped softly as she took in the setting and leaned back into him with a content sigh, "Mmm, you know exactly what I needed. Remind me why I left again?"

He grinned and began to strip her of her sweatshirt and leggings, his eyes drinking in her body and loving that she'd only been wearing a black thong under her leggings. He stripped them down her before rising up to her and kissing her temple, "I was an asshole and hurt the woman I love. You had good reason."

He dropped his towel, his bare body pressing against hers from behind as he walked them to the tub, "The important thing is that you're back now."

He climbed into the soapy, floral scented water and settled in, before offering his hand to her and helping her in, pulling her back to settle against his chest as his arms wrapped around her aching body. She moaned loudly at the incredible sensations and dropped her head back to his shoulder, "Well, this bath might be amazing enough to be able to eradicate any memory of you being an asshole."

He chuckled and wet her loofah in the sudsy water, before dragging it up her arm, across her chest, and then down her other arm tenderly. She sighed lightly and turned her head, her lips brushing his neck as he continued to wash her, paying extra attention to her bruised areas and being extra tender across them.

"Aaron…"

He hummed his reply and trailed the loofah down one of her thighs gently. She groaned softly and bit her lip before clearing her throat and kissing his cheek, "Aaron… I've been thinking."

She moved her lips to his and pressed hard as he brought the loofah back up the inside of her thigh, avoiding the apex of her thighs and moving down the opposite leg. He released her mouth gently and kissed the tip of her nose playfully, "About?"

She sighed and closed her eyes, her legs drifting apart as he brought the loofah back up the inside of that thigh. She couldn't remember the last she'd gotten so worked up by a man barely touching her. In fact, he'd so diligently avoided the two places she wanted his attention most that she was almost ready to burst from frustration. She pressed back against him, rocking her hips slightly against him in the water and grinning as she felt his semi-erect member begin to twitch to full attention. She groaned as he set her loofah aside and moved his hands to her waist, holding her gently as she rocked in the water and kissing down her neck to her collarbone gently. "I've been thinking… hm… about a baby."

He smirked and kissed her shoulder gently, "I thought we already decided that we wanted to have one."

She slid her hand behind her awkwardly and gripped his now fully erect shaft, her hand traveling up and down it slowly, "Yes, but I'm ready to be serious about it now. This whole thing has made me realize how much I want to have that… especially with you in my life."

He fought the urge to thrust into her hand but gripped the sides of the tub tight in his hands, "Whatever you want, Emily… we'll make whatever you want happen."

He reached down and stilled her hand, taking it off of him and kissing the back of her neck, "Emily… you're still recovering I don't…"

She shifted in the tub, careful not to splash too much and knelt in between his legs, "Aaron, clearly, I'm not going to break. Please don't treat me like a victim. Can you please treat me like a woman? Make me happy to be alive."

She captured the sides of his face in her palms and kissed him hard, her body pressing against his in the cooling water. He brought his knees up, bending them sharply and leaned her body back against his thighs as he stroked her folds gently, two of his gun-calloused fingers dipping into her heat. She pressed back into his thighs as he stroked her closer to her climax and then pulled his hand away from her. He tilted her hips slightly and slid her down his member, groaning softly at the sensation and dropping his head back as they began to rock together. Water sloshed around in the tub with each thrust of his hips upward into her downward strokes. He lifted his head, watching her as she braced herself on the sides of the tub, her eyes screwed shut and her teeth gripping her bottom lip hard. He rested his hand on her hip, stilling her and he leaned forward, "Bedroom, Emily."

He pulled his painfully hard erection from her warm core and stood from the water, helping her up and wrapping her in a towel, before draining the tub and wrapping himself up. He led her into their bedroom and laid her down on the bed, not caring about the sheets getting wet. He tugged her towel away from her body and kissed her hard as his towel fell to the floor, before he pushed back into her roughly. He swallowed her soft, contented cries with his mouth as he rocked into her over and over again. He trailed his hand down her sides and gripped her hips as he felt her internal muscles begin to convulse and squeeze him as she dropped her head back and bit her lip hard, a loud moan sounding from her throat. He followed her over several moments later, his breath catching in his throat as he spilled himself inside her; silently wishing that from this coupling she'd get the baby she so desperately wanted. He dropped to the side, his arm draping over her as he leaned over and kissed her neck.

"I was serious you know…"

He lifted his head from her neck and looked into her eyes as she brought her hand up and caressed his cheek, "I want a baby."

He smiled and kissed her gently, "It's not that easy Emily, but we'll keep trying. Maybe we can go see a doctor about it. There has to be something we can do."

He lifted away from her and slipped into his closet, grabbing a pair of pajama bottoms for himself and tossing her the blue button down she'd long ago claimed as her night shirt. She slipped it on and groaned softly, smelling his musk mixed with her light perfume and grinned. Her eyes lifted to him and she smirked, "You wore it while I wasn't here?"

He nodded and climbed back into the bed with her, his arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her back to him, "Made you feel closer somehow. I'd be going to sleep and still smell you here and it made it easier to sleep."

Her hands rested over his strong arm around her and she snuggled back into him against the slightly damp sheets, "I'm never going away again."

He smiled and kissed the back of her head, "Not if I have any say you aren't."

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Pain.

Heaviness.

Excruciating pain.

Heaviness everywhere.

She tried to move her legs but couldn't and she huffed lightly before blinking her eyes open and wincing against the pain she was feeling. She tilted her head down and smiled when she saw why she was in the pain she was in. A teddy bear lay crushed up under her chin in the fist of four year old Jack Hotchner who was lying on top of her and his father's bodies. His arms and legs spread wide across their bodies, but his torso almost completely on her. She reached up with her free hand and pushed his little bangs from his face, taking in his sleeping features and sighed softly. She nudged Aaron gently and chuckled softly as he tightened his hold on her and murmured a soft 'no'.

She nudged him again, "Aaron, wake up."

He struggled to open his eyes and looked down at her before blinking and looking to his sleeping son. He smiled at him then glanced at her, realization dawned that the 20 pound boy must feel like 1000 pounds on her broken ribs. He eased him off of her, settling his tiny body between theirs. She turned over, her arm resting across Jack and her palm settling on Aaron's chest as they watched the boy sleep. She blinked up at him and caught him staring at her again.

"What?"

He chuckled and shook his head, "Just thinking about how perfect this feels. How absolutely perfect everything is."

She settled down in the bed, her chest resting against Jack's side as she cuddled him gently and couldn't help but go back to sleep with a smile on her face. He was right. Everything was perfect.

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><p><em><strong>Alright reviewers, I'm putting this up to you guys for a vote. Do you like each chapter after every episode or do you want chapters to only come after certain key episodes? If you want to play a part in the next chapter, all you need to do is review! <strong>**So, see that little blue button? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Hate it? Like it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506**_


	21. 4x06 Instincts and 4x07 Memoriam

**A/N:** Things have settled down SOMEWHAT. Not enough that I'm able to respond to you all, but I tried. To all my new reviewers, HELLO! And thank you.

To **RomiRoss,** **Pise7en, **sarahb2007, **HGRHfan35, Green-Elphaba-Thropp, ** greengirl82, abd3, Cinnamon, Lux, miaa29, **Emilyprentissfan14, **Tigerlily888,** charmony, Tigerlily02, **Maguchi, Sammy, **Hpforever-after,************** ******x-MJ-x**: All of you, each and every one made me smile and laugh and brightened up a really grey week for me. So thank you. Also I've taken all your votes and messages into consideration. Thank you all so so so so much again.

To **Michelle**: What would I do without you love?

To **greengirl82**: I think you'll really be surprised.

This is set after **4x06 and 4x07 "Instincts and Memoriam"**.

_THE VOTES ARE IN... We're skipping to key episodes for the Hotly ship. There are just too many episodes that could clutter the storyline. If I skip an episode you really wanted to see, let me know. I might do some one-shots to coordinate with this. _

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

* * *

><p><strong>***ALSO***<strong>

**_**The nomination ballot, rules, and category summaries for the second annual Profiler's Choice CM Awards 2011 are up and available for you at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. To reach that post, please either take a trip to the forum. forum (dot) fanfiction (dot) net / topic / 74868 / 48350094 / 1 /**_**

**_**just remove the space and replace the (dot) with a .**_**

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><p><strong>Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything. - Napoleon Hill<strong>

She didn't do this.

She was much, much too strong to do this.

And yet here she was.

Crying at a crime scene.

She gasped softly as arms wrapped around her while she stood, staring into the flames, watching the remnants of the bear and blanket burn. She turned her head and gave a weak smile to the dark eyes that met hers. His lips brushed the side of her neck and he nuzzled it gently, "Emily…"

She shook her head and shrugged, "I don't know why I'm crying."

She laughed softly and shrugged, "I just… I saw her throw it in and I haven't been able to leave." She ran a hand through her hair and turned her head, her lips brushing his forehead as she spoke, "I feel stupid for being so emotional."

He chuckled lightly and squeezed her in his grasp tenderly, "You're not stupid, Emily." He kissed her temple gently and laid his chin to her shoulder, "I seem to remember a conversation about the difference between needing to be objective and needing to be human."

Her lips twitched into a slight smile as she watched the flames flicker in the intense desert heat. He caressed her sides and continued to speak, "This isn't stupid, Emily. This is your human side. It's why you're good at the job."

He turned his lips to her ear and spoke softly, "It's why I love you."

She turned in his arms, her palms resting on his solid chest as she looked up at him, tear tracks glistening on her cheeks in the bright sunlight, "I really understood her. In a really sick, twisted way, it made complete sense. She just wanted to have her baby."

Her forehead dropped to his shoulder and she sighed heavily as his hands stroked her back as she leaned into him, her arms wrapping around his torso and holding onto him tightly. "You want to know the worst part?"

He hummed his interest softly and continued to rub soothing circles around her back as she continued, "I don't even know where the hell this is coming from. I don't cry at this," she gestured to the fire and stepped away from **him,** "Hell, Aaron, I compartmentalize better than this whole team. I don't know where the hell these emotions are coming from."

She ran her hands over her face and laughed softly, "I wish I knew what the hell was going on with me."

He sighed and opened his hands at his sides, "You're frustrated, Em. I get it." He smiled tenderly and shook his head, "Anyone who's been in our shoes would. It makes sense that you're reacting this way. I just wish I knew what to tell you to make you feel better."

She turned and looked at him with wide, hopeful eyes, "Yeah? You really think this makes sense?"

He nodded slowly, "Yes, Emily… it makes sense."

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It didn't make sense.

Her moods were in a state of flux that he'd never seen before.

Something was wrong… or right.

Something could be very right.

He grinned and fantasized for a moment about Emily, with her stomach rounded and their child growing inside her; about feeling the little flutters and kicks from their son or daughter. He leaned against the tile and sighed in contentment before a wash of reality came over him. She hadn't said anything. Surely, she would've mentioned it if she was late. He shook his head and spoke to himself while in the shower in the hotel, "She'd know."

He rinsed his body of the suds from the soap and stepped out of the shower, drying himself and wrapping the towel around his lower half. He emerged from the steam filled bathroom and grinned at the sight that greeted him. There she was, still in her suit, lying in the fetal position in their bed. He sighed deeply, taking in the quiet moment, the way her hand rested over her stomach, the way her dark lashes fanned out over her high cheekbones, the way her lips were quirked in a sleepy smile. He made the decision to let her continue to rest before meeting the rest of the team for Chinese and grabbed a fresh shirt and underwear, opting to just wear the pants and jacket he'd worn the rest of the day.

Fifteen minutes later, after redressing and grooming, he stepped back into their room and leaned against the wall, watching her continue to sleep. His phone buzzed that everyone was waiting in the lobby and he moved over to the bed, his hand tenderly stroking down her face as she blinked her eyes open and smiled up at him. "Hey…"

He returned the wide smile, his dimples coming out to match hers, and ran his thumb over her lower lip, "Come on, team's waiting."

She nodded and waited until he moved from the edge of the bed to swing her legs out and stand. She yawned and stretched her long lean body and stepped into his arms, her lips seeking his out for a long, slow kiss.

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"Are you sure you should be drinking that?"

Emily's head lifted at that and she smirked at the blonde, "It's a glass of wine JJ. I'm not drinking the whole damn bottle."

JJ chuckled and shrugged, "I'm just saying… something has seemed different with you and, call me crazy, but I think I have really good intuition about things like this."

The brunette rolled her eyes and finished her glass of wine, "Meaning what?"

JJ sighed as the waiter brought a fresh goblet of wine to the table and set it down in front of Emily, "Meaning that liquor isn't good for a fetus**,** Emily."

Emily choked on the sip of wine she'd just taken and glared at JJ as she wiped at the sides of her mouth. Emily had never been so glad that all the men of the team had gone outside to smoke cigars and take in some of the sights, "I'm not pregnant, JJ."

JJ grinned like the Cheshire cat and tilted her head, "Are you forgetting who you're talking to?"

She nodded down towards her stomach and raised her eyebrow, "Look at me, Emily. I'm ready to pop. Don't you think I'd be able to decipher between emotional train wreck and pregnant?"

She chuckled and picked up her final piece of sushi, gesturing with it at the brunette, "I experience that roller coaster on a daily basis, and I'm telling you, get a test."

She popped the piece of sushi in her mouth and gave a firm nod, before sliding out of her chair and leaving the restaurant.

Emily sat at the table, staring at her plate and glass of wine in contemplation.

_What if she's right?_

_Oh, God._

_I'm not pregnant. Am I?_

_Shit._

_Am I late?_

_I really want this._

_What about Jack?_

_I don't feel tired._

_Are we ready for this?_

_I'm not late._

_REALLY ready?_

_A baby._

_I'd know, right?_

_I can't let him get excited over nothing._

_What if she's wrong?_

_I can't be pregnant._

_Do I really need to go through that heart break all over again_?

_We might be having a baby._

_What's Aaron going to say?_

_I'm not sick._

_What's the team going to say?_

_She has to be wrong._

She downed the rest of her glass of wine and left the table, her arms crossed over her chest and a decision made in her mind.

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_Fuck._

She gasped for air in the bathroom as her stomach lurched and she dry heaved for what felt like the millionth time that morning. She swallowed hard and dropped back against the wall of the hotel bathroom, her eyes shut as she panted for air.

_Oh... fuck._

She jumped slightly as a wet towel traced over her forehead and blinked her eyes open, meeting the dark eyes of her lover. "Aaron…"

He hushed her softly and tucked some hair behind her ear, "Have too much to drink last night?"

She lifted her eyes to his guiltily and shrugged, "Guess so. You know how it is in Vegas…"

Her eyes diverted from his as she thought back on her conversation with JJ and fought the next wave of nausea. She looked at his fully dressed body and covered her eyes with her hand as she leaned her head back to the wall, "You leaving?"

He nodded, even though she couldn't see and bent forward, brushing his lips over her forehead, "Going to the airstrip early. Beat some morning traffic. Wheels up in an hour."

He stood to full height and ran a hand through his hair, "There's a tylenol and some water on the counter for you."

She smiled weakly and waved with her free hand as he left. She sat there for several minutes before getting up and taking the aspirin. She changed out of her pyjamas into her jeans and purple button down before grabbing her go bag and heading downstairs to face the music.

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He couldn't stop the smile that was on his face.

He couldn't help it.

His hands turned the slim pink box around over and over again as he sat in the BAU jet.

He jolted slightly as two figures began to board the plane and furrowed his eyebrows seeing only the two women. "Do I want to know where Morgan and Dave are?"

Emily groaned and collapsed into the seat next to him as JJ chuckled and shrugged, "All I heard was, 'I could do with a couple more days of Vegas'. I didn't want to ask questions. I learned my lesson a long time ago."

He laughed softly and wrapped his arm around Emily's shoulder, "Jayje, can you tell him we're ready to take off?"

JJ nodded and slipped up to the cockpit, leaving the couple alone. Aaron took a deep breath and slid the pink box onto Emily's lap, his hand resting on her thigh as she picked it up and stared at it.

"Aaron…"

He kissed her temple and squeezed her thigh, "Emily, it's just a test."

She sighed and tilted her head, "Are you sure we want to find out?"

He laughed softly and moved his hand to her stomach, "I'm pretty sure we'd know in a few months anyway."

At her continued hesitancy he rolled his eyes, "It's like ripping off a band-aid, Emily. If you aren't, we keep trying. But if you are…"

She lifted her eyes to his and felt goosebumps cover her body at the grin he sent her way. She nodded and reached over, resting her hand on his cheek, "Once we're at cruising altitude, I'll do it. I promise. I just need to get my head together to do it."

He smiled and nodded, "That's my girl."

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It was cute, really.

How attached and anxious he was.

But that didn't change the fact that she wanted to kill him.

She could practically hear him thinking out there and that only made this whole thing a little more nerve wrecking. She opened the door to the jet's bathroom and raised an eyebrow, "Careful. If you pace a hole in the floor, you'll have a long fall."

He smirked and stepped toward her crowding her space, "I wouldn't have to pace if you'd hurry up."

"If I could've peed on them faster I would've, Aaron." She tapped his cheek playfully and grinned while holding up the two tests. "We just need to wait for 5 minutes and we'll be set."

He nodded and took her hand tugging her into the lounge of the jet and sitting with her on the sofa. JJ's eyes lifted and she grinned, "Take the tests?"

Both raven haired agents turned to look at the blonde and she openly laughed at their stunned expressions, "Oh come on. Like it wasn't obvious."

She pushed herself out of her chair and walked over to them, sitting in the chair next to the sofa and rubbing her belly, "How long do you have left?"

Emily sighed and grabbed Aaron's wrist, turning it so she could look at his watch and worried her lip, "3 minutes."

JJ nodded, "Well, I guess this is a good time to mention that Agent Todd will be shadowing me this week. So, you two need to decide how you're going to handle your relationship in front of her."

Emily looked up at Aaron and tilted her head to his shoulder, "It's going to suck."

He rubbed her arm and looked at JJ, "We already discussed it. It took us long enough to come out to you and the rest of the team. I don't think we could openly display our relationship in front of another agent that we don't have that kind of trust with. Strauss doesn't need much to push her over that edge to mess with our team."

JJ nodded, "So you're going to act like nothing's going on?"

Emily closed her eyes and nuzzled Aaron's neck tenderly, "That's the plan."

JJ sighed and glanced at her watch. Her eyes lit up as she glanced back at them, "Time's up."

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Emily chuckled softly as a hand traced over her back in the conference room as she stared up at the picture of Riley Jenkins on their large plasma screen. "Aaron…"

He smiled and kissed the side of her neck, holding out a large mug filled with a steaming liquid for her, "I know… I know… but she's in JJ's office and I can't help myself."

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and took the mug from him and groaned softly at the scent. "Decaf?"

He nodded, "Cream and two Splenda added."

He cleared his throat and wrapped his arms around her waist, "So… JJ got the last viable donor huh?"

She snorted softly and pressed back against him, "If I could sky write that I got the last one, I would but that wouldn't bode well with our psychotic witch of a boss."

He laughed softly and rubbed her hips with his hands, his fingers sliding under the shirt and caressing her bare skin, "Still stung a little."

She turned her head and looked at him over her shoulder, "Awh, does wittle Aaron need me to kiss his ego and make it better?" She pouted teasingly and yelped softly when he smacked her ass teasingly.

"Watch it, Prentiss."

Her lips widened into a large smile and she sipped her coffee contentedly, humming at the familiar taste before she turned to him, "We're going to have to discuss it eventually you know…"

He smiled warmly and licked his lips, "Discuss what?"

She narrowed her eyes and took another sip of her coffee, "The tests."

He held up the white stick and its twin, "Oh… these tests?"

She dropped her eyes with a wide smile and shrugged, "That would be them, yes."

He tucked them back into his pocket and sat down on the edge of the table, "What's left to talk about? They're positive. You go in, see your doctor, and we'll take it a day at time."

She scratched the back of her neck and sighed as she dropped into the chair next to her and rolled herself back and forth, her hands resting on her flat stomach, "It's just weird, Aaron. I mean, I know we've been trying for months now."

"Eight."

She raised her eyebrow, "Huh?"

He shrugged and folded his hands in front of him, "Eight months, we've been trying."

She blushed and nodded, "Yeah… I just… I never really thought it would happen. You know?"

He laughed softly and shrugged, "Yeah, I know."

He reached forward to touch her cheek but stopped when both their phones began to vibrate with a text from Garcia.

_Got the info on Reid's dad._

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It was all so surreal.

She couldn't believe that sooner, rather than later, this would be her reality.

She winced as JJ's grip on her hand tightened in the hospital room. She gave her hand a delicate pat in return and nodded, as Garcia did the Lamaze breathing with her and Aaron stood outside the room, waiting anxiously for Will.

JJ panted softly and looked at Emily, "I am sorry. Did I hurt you?"

Emily chuckled and shook her head, "It's fine, Jayje."

JJ sighed and dropped her head back, "Have you told Penelope yet?"

Garcia's eyes darted between them and she frowned, "Told me what? Buttercup, are you alright?"

Emily nodded and squeezed JJ's hand, "No, I haven't told her, but now that you've painted me into a corner I suppose I have to."

JJ smirked wickedly then cried out softly at the sharp pain that ran through her body, "Oh, hell."

Emily rubbed her shoulders gently and sighed as she looked up at Garcia, "Hotch and I are…"

She barely flinched this time as JJ gripped her hand, the soft whimper that escaped her friend hurting more than any physical pain. "Jayje, do you want me to get a nurse?"

JJ nodded and Emily quickly hit the call button as Garcia kept looking between the blonde and brunette, "Hotch and you are what?"

Emily sighed, "Hotch and I are…"

"You rang for a nurse?"

Garcia's head dropped back in frustration as the nurse interrupted Emily a second time. Emily barely hid her chuckle and nodded at JJ, "I think she's in some serious pain. Is there anything…"

"JJ!"

Emily's eyes flew to the door and she felt herself immediately calm down as Will and Aaron moved into the room. Aaron moved over to stand beside Emily, his hand resting low on her back as the nurse ran JJ's vitals and checked her over, "Well Mommy, it looks like it's time to get the doctor in here and get you down to delivery."

Emily smiled widely as the nurse left and Will moved over to stand in Garcia's spot. Garcia quickly traveled around the bed to stand next to Hotch and folded her arms over her chest, "Hotch and you are…"

Emily sighed and looked at her, "We're pregnant."

Silence flooded the room at the admission. Will's jaw slackened as JJ grinned while Garcia's eyes widened in complete astonishment. Emily raised a tentative eyebrow at her friend as she stayed silent, just looking between her and Aaron in shock. Emily reached forward with her free hand and touched Garcia's shoulder, "PG? Are you alright?"

"Ms. Jareau, it's time to get you down to delivery."

All attention and chaos returned as several nurses flooded into the room, grabbing JJ's bed and leading her and Will out, leaving just Emily, Garcia and Hotch in the hospital room. Emily's eyes slowly drifted to Garcia and she licked her lips, "PG?"

She gasped softly as Garcia wrapped her arms around her and held her tight. "I'm so happy for you." Emily sighed in relief and nodded, "Yeah, me too." She rubbed her friend's back and leaned back, "We just found out yesterday."

Garcia looked between them and squealed softly, "Two BAU babies?"

Emily nodded and shrugged as Garcia moved around her and clung onto Aaron for a moment, "Two in a year?"

Emily chuckled, "Something like that, Pen. Are you okay?"

Penelope laughed and shook her head, "No. I'm better than okay. I'm infinitely better than okay. I'm so far past okay, that okay is like a dot. This is amazing. Oh my God, Emily."

She hugged her friend tight and rubbed her back, "It's about time, you two. I've been waiting on this."

Emily leaned back and nodded, "Yeah. We have too, Pen."

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><p><em><strong>WHO'S EXCITED? There's a poll on my page for baby names. Vote hard people.<strong> _**If you want to play a part in the next chapter, and the future of Emily, Hotch and their baby, all you need to do is review! ****So, see that little blue button? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Hate it? Like it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506**__


	22. 4x08 Masterpiece

**A/N:** WELL, this week hell resumed for me. But a BIG thank you to all my amazing reviewers and voters. BEST VOTER AWARD goes to the person who left their vote as a review and made their name "Baby should be a" and then left their vote for gender in the review. YOU are made of awesome.

_**PLEASE KEEP VOTING. THE NAME POLL IS OPEN ON MY PROFILE PAGE!**_

To **charmony, Rugbygirrl, Maguchi, Tigerlily888, HPforever-after, x-MJ-x, Tigerlily02, NicknHotchfan, HGRHfan35, greengirl82, LarissaBabehh, Pise7en, sarahb2007**: I love you all. Seriously. I genuinely adore you all. Thank you so much for the reviews and support and votes.

To **Michelle**: I can't thank you enough. I love you and I promise, I won't let go.

To **greengirl82**: ;) This is for you.

This is set after **4x08 Masterpiece**.

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**__ I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

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><p><strong>***ALSO***<strong>

_**The nomination ballot, rules, and category summaries for the second annual Profiler's Choice CM Awards 2011 are up and available for you at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. To reach that post, please either take a trip to the forum. forum (dot) fanfiction (dot) net / topic / 74868 / 48350094 / 1 /**_

_**just remove the space and replace the (dot) with a .**_

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><p><strong>Desperate affairs require desperate measures. - Horatio Nelson<strong>

Angry didn't even begin to sum it up.

Enraged could almost explain it.

But desperate was the only word he could think of that fully described it.

He hated that she was used like that. That she'd become the team pawn. He was going to kill David Rossi for using her like that without telling him. He felt his blood begin to boil and he pulled her to him, kissing her hard, needing that connection with her as he stabbed his key at the lock on their door and guided them in quickly. He shut the door behind her and pinned her to it, his hands reaching around her and holding her close to him, his fingers kneading and squeezing the soft globes of her ass as their hips rocked together in open desire.

He was always a very attentive lover, and she wasn't often surprised in the bedroom. It wasn't a complaint so much as it was something that she loved about him. She knew that he was always going to be her own private sex machine. His alpha male tendencies would come out to play and she always reaped the benefits of it. But this side of him was something she rarely saw, and she was getting hotter and hotter by the second because of it. This raw, animalistic need for her was something beyond what he usually showed and as he hiked her up around his waist, letting her legs lock behind his lower back as he rocked his hips against hers, she realized that she'd never be able to say things in the bedroom were boring. She panted softly as the hard bulge in his pants rocked the seam of her black pants against her core repeatedly.

He hated taking her like this, showing her how close to the end of his rope he was. It wasn't like him to let anyone see this much emotion from him, especially over something as trivial as her helping a team member with an interrogation. She'd done plenty worse when he'd sent her in undercover but somehow this time had pushed him over the edge. Something about her being close to the man who used acid to burn and murderwomen had pushed him beyond the brink of sanity. He dry humped her against the door for several long moments, her hands clawing at his back and the wood of the door as he spoke against her ear in harsh whispers about how he would do anything for her.

She was stunned and amazed by this man. Consistently, stunned and amazed by him. He knew all the tricks to make her weak at the knees with desire. She whimpered softly as he mercilessly ground his hips into hers. Liquid fire filled her veins as the seam of her pants rubbed against her pleasure node over and over and she dropped her head back to the door with a soft keening moan before slumping against him. He set her down on shaky legs and kissed her deeply, his hands tearing his suit coat off and tossing it somewhere in the apartment behind them as he tugged her away from the door and began to move them into the apartment.

She gasped as her back impacted the wall and she lifted her eyes to his. His brown eyes filled with emotions which swirled around them. She grabbed the sides of his neck, pulling him into her and kissing him hard as he braced himself against the wall behind her, his teeth and tongue colliding with hers as he osculated with her. He ripped his mouth back from hers and gripped her hips in his hands as he tugged her away from the wall and began to walk her backwards down the hallway. His hands tugged at her clothing, pushing and pulling at the offending items and leaving them in their wake. A shirt here, a bra there, her pants long forgotten in the hallway as he moved them into their bedroom.

The backs of her legs impacted the edge of the bed and she pressed her palm to his chest, holding him back a bit as she climbed up on the bed, kneeling on it, and tugged him close. This time it was her with the urgent need coloring her large dark eyes. She tore and clawed at the fabric of his shirt and pants, wanting only to have him in her arms; wanting to reaffirm that he was indeed safe at home with her and their unborn child. She reached up and caressed his cheek with her palm as she tugged his head closer and ravaged his mouth with hers, moaning loudly into his mouth as he climbed onto the bed in front of her and guided her to lie down.

He pulled his head back and stared down at her, his eyes drinking in every detail, his heart thundering in his chest to some unknown bass line. He licked his lips and kissed her cheek, muttering softly to her about how much he wanted her.

About how much he needed her.

About how much he loved her.

He kissed down the expanse of her neck, biting and sucking and licking the skin there, leaving small, dark marks along her neck; ensuring that there would never be any doubt that she wasn't available. She was his. He'd make sure she stayed that way. His lips and tongue swirled along the valley between her breasts before he moved across one of her large mounds and covered her dark peak with his mouth. His lips and tongue licked and sucked and kissed the dark tip of her breast and he delighted in the soft moans and whimpers escaping her as he pleasured her with his teeth and tongue. She hissed softly as his teeth closed teasingly around her hard, pebbled dark flesh and her hands ran through his hair as he switched sides, letting his hand take over on the breast he'd just left. His free hand traced along her side and grasped her hip as he rocked his hips against hers, his thin boxers and her lace panties giving them barely enough coverage and yet keeping them apart when all he wanted was to be buried deep inside the woman he loved.

She whined softly as he released her dark bud and kissed down her stomach, his index fingers hooking under the sides of her lace panties and guiding them down her legs, leaving her bare to him on the brown comforter and white sheets. He climbed back on top of her and trailed his hands up her thighs. His hands guided her creamy white skin apart, giving him complete access to the apex of her thighs and he kissed her lower abdomen, a move which eliciteda soft gasp from her. She lifted her head to see him stroking her lower abdomen, pressing butterfly kisses there, a silent hello to the child growing inside her.

She reached down, tracing her fingers through his hair as he glanced up at her and rested his palm over her still taut stomach. She rested her hand over his and smiled at him, assuring him that she and their child were fine. He grinned and slid his hand out from under hers as he hitched her thighs up against his shoulder and moved his mouth to her sex. He licked her slowly, tasting and teasing her, not giving her everything he knew she wanted. He slowly slithered his tongue along and around her as her already deep voice became softer, huskier and needier. He moved his mouth up to her pink, throbbing desire and began to stroke it with his tongue, flicking, pressing, swirling along it as she whimpered and panted and moaned in agreement with everything he was doing.

She was seeing stars. It wasn't as if he'd never done this before, but he'd never done it like this before. She fisted her hands in the bed sheets, her heart practically exploding out her chest at the way he was loving her. She cried his name softly as he expertly hit all of her buttons, guiding her close to her second climax of the night. She moved her hands to grip the pillow behind her head as her hips lifted towards his mouth slightly. She sighed as he guided them back down to the bed and held them there, while his mouth moved a fraction lower, his tongue teasing her opening then sliding into her. She screamed his name and felt her back lift from the bed in extreme pleasure, almost as if it had a mind of itsown. She bit her lip and groaned his name over and over as he used his tongue in ways he never had with her before.

He pulled his mouth back from her and chuckled darkly as her eyes flew open in confusion, only to slam shut seconds later as his hand picked up where his mouth had left off. His thumb brushing her sensitive pleasure node as two of his long, thick fingers slid into her depths and began to push her over. She gasped loudly as they found her g-spot and curled and uncurled against it, pushing her closer and closer to the edge until he felt her internal muscle begin to ripple and squeeze him as she cried his name and went slack in his arms. He'd never be able to explain to anyone how beautiful she truly was when she was giving herself up to him in their bed.

She panted hard on the white sheets beneath them, her lungs in vital need of oxygen as she blinked her eyes open and looked around for him, finding him next to the bed, pulling his boxers down and already stroking his large, hard organ. She bit her lip seductively and pushed her well sexed body up to sit on the edge of the bed. She reached for his hand and tugged him over to her, the head of his erection at perfect height with her mouth. She stared up at him, her dark eyes locking on his as she licked her lips and wrapped one hand around him, stroking him up and down over and over again, feeling him twitch beneath her skin. She licked the swollen head, the tip of her tongue sliding over the weeping tip of him before she sucked hard on it. His hands rested on her shoulders as she began to slowly move up and down his length with alternating hard and tender strokes of her tongue and mouth. As she took him deeper and deeper his head tilted back and he released a shaky breath.

It wasn't that she didn't ever do this, but he really preferred things in the bedroom to be about her. But this felt so damn good and she looked so damn hot doing it that he couldn't stop her. Not yet at least. He slid his hands through her hair, moving it aside so that he could watch as she pleasured him and the whole thing took an even greater sense of eroticism**.** He rocked his hips in time with her mouth and dropped his head back as his hand fisted in her hair. She was practically swallowing him whole and he knew he needed to make her stop before the fun was over.

He tugged her head back by her hair, her mouth releasing him with a soft pop and she glared up at him, "I was enjoying myself, Aaron."

He smirked and nodded at the head of the bed again, "You'll enjoy yourself a lot more when you lie down, Emily."

She chuckled and crawled back to her spot on the center of the bed, his body lowering over her as he found his position between her legs. He kissed her gently, their tastes mixing on their tongues as he hooked her knees over his elbows and slid deep into her. She dropped her head back from the kiss in a loud groan and gripped his back in her hands hard, her body arching under him as he began to move in and out of her in slow solid strokes. He rocked into her over and over, his manhood going so deep into her, she didn't know where he began and she ended. She stared up into his dark eyes, watching them watch her as they both propelled forward towards their release.

She reached up, her palm brushing his cheek as he began to move with more force and speed into her. She whimpered softly and bit her lip as he hissed her name and dropped her legs, bracing his forearms next to her body. She hitched her legs around his waist, holding him tight as he kept pounding into her, her veins filling with the liquid fire once more. She barked his name out and arched off the bed as she plunged over the cliff of her climax, her ears barely hearing him as he cried her name and followed her over moments later.

She wasn't sure how long they laid together, his body collapsed on top of hers in pleasure but she was positive she hated it when he slid out of her and rolled them over, her body now draping across his as they worked to catch their breath. She licked her lips and looked up at him, her eyes wide and clear and full of love for him. She kissed him gently and sighed as her head returned to his chest. He caressed her shoulder gently and stared at his ceiling in silence. How could he tell her how much he loved her? How could he possibly prove to her that she was the only choice for him for the rest of his life?

He kissed the top of her head and sighed, "I'm going to kill Dave."

She blinked her eyes open and tilted her head up to his, her eyebrow rising as she stared at him, "What?"

He nodded slowly and looked down at her, "I'm going to kill him."

She furrowed her eyebrows and narrowed her eyes, "Because…"

He reached over and traced her cheekbone with his thumb, "Because he put the woman I love and our unborn child in the room with a serial killer just to get a rise out of him… and he didn't tell me about it. The man is going to die. In a painful manner. I wonder if Garcia could pull up medieval torture techniques for me…"

She chuckled softly and laid her head back onto his chest, "Aaron, it was fine. He wasn't going to do anything to me."

He rubbed her back tenderly, "How do you know that? He could've tackled you. He could've thrown you onto the table."

She stroked his chest and kissed the side of his neck, "Aaron, Dave was in the room. Dave was right there. No one was going to hurt me or the baby."

She lifted her head and looked at him, "We are safe. We're here with you sweetheart."

She guided his hand to her stomach and leaned in, her next words spoken against his mouth tenderly, "We're right here, Aaron."

He stroked her stomach and kissed her tenderly, "Emily, I don't mean to baby you. I just…"

She chuckled and nodded, "I know. I know."

He rubbed her shoulder and looked down at her, "You know… we really have it all, Em."

She nodded and smiled up at him, "Yep."

He stared at the ceiling as she stared at him, "We have it all, except one thing."

She raised her eyebrow, "One thing?"

He nodded and turned his eyes to hers, "One thing."

She bit her lip and tilted her head, "What are we missing, Aaron?"

He smiled slightly and reached up, holding her cheek in his hand, "A ring on your finger."

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><p><em><strong>DON'T FORGET! There's a poll on my page for baby names. Vote hard people.<strong> _**If you want to play a part in the next chapter, and the future of Emily, Hotch and their baby, all you need to do is review! ****So, see that little blue button? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Hate it? Like it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506**__


	23. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey readers… this is just an author's note.

I have the chapter. I'm just a little stressed from work so I'm posting it Saturday. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

Talk to you tomorrow!

- xx, babygurl0506


	24. 4x09 52 Pick Up

**A/N:**I'm BA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-CK! So how crappy do I feel for being gone for so long? That being said things have settled down. My life is a little calmer. And I'm back with a VENGEANCE.

**To****missjareau,****giftedgabber,****Scousedancer,****Lux,****History05,****HPForever-after,****Tigerlily02,****x-MJ-x,****Tigerlily888,****HGRHfan35,****Maguchi,****Cinnamon,****sarahb2007,****Pise7en,****charmony,****greengirl82,****Lotani,****SSAEmilyHotchner,****romiross:**You guys stuck by me and I am so touched that you guys had my back and made me feel so appreciated. This is dedicated to each and every one of you. I seriously feel so lucky that you guys are my readers.

To **Michelle**: These last few weeks… Honey, I can't even describe what you've done for me. I love you so much. Thank you.

This is set after **4x09****52****Pickup.**

_**READ****AND****REVIEW****PLEASE!** I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

**Contemplation often makes life miserable. We should act more, think less, and stop watching ourselves live. - Nicolas de Chamfort**

Fat.

Overly emotional.

Confused.

There were many things that Emily Prentiss pictured herself as and there were several things she'd never thought she'd be. One was fat. Another was overly emotional. Yet another was confused. They weren't bad traits, for some, but never things that she'd associate with herself; until now. She stared at her reflection, her hands tracing her naked body and her eyes taking in every detail. To the average eye, she wouldn't be showing, but to her eye it looked like she'd put on a few pounds. She ran her hands over her body and tilted her head as her hands glided around her hips and stomach, thinking about how they would be changing. She rubbed the cocoa butter over her stomach following JJ's recommendation that using it would help alleviate any potential stretch marks and to start as early as possible.

The silence that surrounded her as she studied her body, searching for signs of the pregnancy was heartbreaking. She couldn't understand how some women did this alone, and sent a silent prayer of thanks to God that come Sunday afternoon, her lover would be back. It was cute, really, that Aaron had offered to go spend the weekend with Jack's cub scout group for the father-son weekend camping activity. She smiled to herself as she pictured he and Jack hiking through the woods, sitting around a campfire, roasting marshmallows, and sleeping in sleeping bags. Her long, lean body slid into her pajama bottoms and tank top before she slid into his bed.

She pulled his pillow close and rested her cheek to it, finding comfort in his scent and thinking hard about what he'd said to her a couple weeks prior_,__ '__A__ring__on__your__finger.__'_ She wasn't sure what to make out of that exactly. Had that been his proposal? Was she supposed to have told him 'yes'? Or had that merely been a topic that he wanted her to think about? She stroked his pillow thoughtfully and used her other hand to stroke her abdomen as she pondered it. What if he had expected an answer? Did she disappoint him by not answering? Had she already ruined her chances? What if he never asked again? She licked her lips and chewed on the corner of her lip as she rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling.

It wasn't something to be taken lightly, of that she was absolutely positive. It was something was going to affect more than just her and Aaron. They'd always had Jack to consider first, then the team, then their families; and now they had the baby. She caressed her flat stomach, drawing circles and random patterns across the skin and thought long and hard about it; how much was going to change and how much was going to stay the same?

Somewhere deep down inside, she's written marriage out of the cards for her; had deemed herself as not fit to marry, although, even she didn't really have a good reason for it. Frankly, she'd never really been the kind to think about who she'd marry. She hadn't been one of those little girls with the bridal Barbie and groom Ken. She'd never played dress up bride and groom with one of the kids in her neighborhood. She'd never really even thought about what her wedding dress, ceremony, or reception would be like. Marriage had simply never been something that she had put a lot of stock in, especially not for her.

She supposed it had something to do with her notion that the healthy marriages on TV had always seemed to have meant the woman giving up her independence to a man and allowing him to be the man of the house. In her parents' marriage it had been about politics, a meeting of two families that would only enhance the other's standing; no love, no romance, just politics. Seeing the two people who were supposed to make her feel safe and warm be cold and distant with each other and her, certainly hadn't help foster any kind of desires or necessity to want to get married.

She paused and thought about Aaron. About what he had to be facing right now, with that topic floating about in his head. How difficult was it for him to be bringing that up when just under a year ago, he'd come to her and told her that Haley had left him. She closed her eyes and dropped her hand over her forehead.

Haley.

That was a whole other can of worms. With Haley and Aaron, it had started out about love and honest feelings… but that had faded in time. What was to say that if they got married, those things wouldn't happen to them? Her chest tightened as she thought about what the other woman would say? How would she feel? Would it even matter? What would she tell Jack?

Emily groaned as she closed her eyes and shook her head, the stress, the pregnancy, and the thoughts of marriage overwhelming her. Her eyes flashed open as her stomach turned in a familiar fashion. She sat up and felt her stomach lurch, before she ran to the bathroom, dry heaving into the toilet and gasping for air between heaves. She collapsed back to wall behind the toilet and stared at the ceiling blinking the tears out of her eyes. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and sighed heavily, wishing he was there with her to hold her as she dealt with the pregnancy sickness.

… …. … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .. … … … … … ...

Shivering.

Wet.

Irritable.

He growled to himself as he cuddled Jack close on the bus, both of them soaked to the bone from the sudden rainstorm that had ruined their camping trip. He stroked his sleeping son's damp brown blonde hair and leaned back in the bus seat thinking about Emily and his unborn child back at the apartment. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. It'd been 2 weeks since he'd tried to bring up the topic of marriage. Which in turn meant it'd been 2 weeks of avoiding the issue. 2 weeks of wondering why she was avoiding it, wondering why she wasn't being her normal self and forcing the issues, wondering why she wasn't trying to get him to talk.

There wasn't much that Aaron didn't know about her and their relationship. The one topic that seemed to be the enigma was marriage. He couldn't help but think through all the possibilities of what her reasons were for not wanting to discuss it. Was she afraid? Was she not interested? Was she unsure about his ability to be a good husband? Was she concerned about what it would mean for Jack? Was she not the marrying type? Was she worried about the job? The thoughts made his head swim. He dropped his head back against the seat and frowned. There was definitely a lot that he didn't know.

Jack shifted against him once more and he looked down at the face of his son and smiled. Sure, he didn't know everything about Emily and where she stood on marriage, but there were some things that he knew that weren't open to negotiations.

He knew he loved her.

He knew he loved their child.

He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

He smiled as Jack shifted against him and snuggled into him more. He pulled the small boy up onto his lap and held him tight as the bus rocked along the road, the majority of passengers asleep. He looked down at his son and couldn't help but feel guilty for all the things he'd missed with him. Things that he was determined he wouldn't miss with his next child. He wasn't going to let the job come between his family. Not this time. Not again. As he stared at his sleeping son, he thought about the ring he had hidden back at the apartment; the ring he'd bought for Emily.

It hadn't been something that he'd planned on buying. It'd just happened one day. He'd just been out and something moved him enough to stop at a jewelry store. He'd known it was meant for her the moment he'd seen it. It was so her, so feminine and classic without being gaudy. He stared into the window, at his reflection on the dark glass and moistened his lips. He wanted this. He wanted her. He bit back a chuckle and shook his head as he silently admitted that somewhere, deep down inside himself, he'd probably always wanted her.

There'd be no more beating around the bush. He was done with pretending, done with settling, done with avoiding. He was going to marry her. He was going to ask her. Tonight.

… …. … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .. … … … … … ...

He slipped as silently as he possibly could into the apartment; which was a feat in itself considering his body was dripping wet form the pouring rain and his sleeping, drenched son was wrapped around him like his a vice. He set the bags down on the floor and kicked off his shoes quietly, wincing when one landed with a thud.

He didn't move.

Didn't make a sound.

Barely breathed.

Silence still continued to fill the apartment and he sighed softly before turning around and seeing Emily leaning against the wall that lead to the bedrooms in the apartment. She chuckled softly and walked over, her white fluffy bathrobe wrapped around her tightly and her arms extended, "Give him to me. Go get dry. I can't have a sick man in bed with me." She kissed his lips gently and carried the boy to his bedroom, shutting the door behind her and getting to work on drying him off, changing him into dry pajamas and getting him into bed.

Aaron watched with warm eyes as she carried his son away and then headed into their shared bedroom, his hands pushing and pulling at the wet garments and slowly piling them by the door for him to go hang to dry in their bathroom. He was bent over picking out his pants when he heard the bedroom door open and shut, and then the soft click of a lock moments later. He had just pulled on a dry, clean pair of pajama pants when two warm hands slid up his back and around to his chest. His eyes slipped shut as a warm, lithe body pressed against his chilled back and was followed by soft kisses to the back of his shoulders. "Rained out?"

He nodded and rested his hands on hers on his chest, "Yeah. Didn't have time to get the tents up or anything. The kids enjoyed the playing in the rain thing, but I think we're going to have to keep an eye on him for any sign of the sniffles."

She nodded, her cheek pressed to his cool shoulder, "It would appear that I have two potential germies in the house with me." She smiled and rested her chin on his shoulder, "I'm a little thicker but I definitely think Baby and I could still fit in that nurse costume I have tucked away in that closet."

He looked at her over his shoulder and smirked, "Minx."

She laughed softly and leaned forward, brushing her lips over his, "Only for you."

He turned around in her arms and froze. His eyes drank her in and for the second time that night, he almost forgot how to breathe. His mind could only process four things in that moment.

Red.

Satin.

Lace.

Skin.

He licked his lips as his mouth went cotton dry and ran his eyes over the red satin and lace panties and bra set that she was wearing. He swallowed hard and lifted his eyes to hers, "Expecting company tonight, Emily?"

She furrowed her eyebrows then followed his eyes and laughed softly, "No no no no. I just…" She sighed and ran a hand through her dark hair, "I don't know. I felt fat and unattractive so I put this on to make me feel sexy again." She shrugged, "I had planned on wearing it for you when I first bought it, but a case came up and things got a little crazy and I never got around to it." She bit her lip and shook her hips slightly, "So… you like?"

His eyes lifted to hers and she smiled, seeing that dark fire that she was so familiar with lighting his orbs, "Don't ask questions you already know the answers to, Emily."

She opened her mouth to speak but was silenced as his mouth closed over hers and his tongue began to stroke hers seductively. He walked her back to the bed and sat down in front of her, his hands rising up and down her sides as he took in the feel of the fabric and her warm skin. He kissed her lower abdomen gently and pressed his forehead there tenderly for a moment, silently worshipping whatever deity blessed them with that child before looking up at her and running his hands up her back, "You were going to lay here… alone… in that?"

She nodded and shrugged, "Figured since you weren't here, I'd have to re-launch my sexuality on my own. Just me and my hand."

He closed his eyes and grit his jaw, "You say shit like that and I swear you instantly get sexier."

She smirked and guided him to lie back as she straddled him to the bed and balanced over him on all fours, "Does that turn you on, Aaron? Picturing me… here alone… touching myself… and thinking of you?"

He swallowed hard and nodded slowly, "You know, it does, Emily."

She grinned wickedly and trailed her fingertips down his chest to the front of his pajama pants. She brushed them over his semi-aroused covered member teasingly, "Do you want to watch me, Aaron? Do you want to watch what I was going to do while you were away?"

His eyes widened at her suggestion and he nodded slowly. He knew only a fool would turn down that peep show. He watched her as she climbed onto the bed and laid down against the pillows. His body rose up from the bed and he knelt at the edge of the bed watching her as her eyes drifted shut and she began to massage her breasts in her own hands, her fingers rolling her own nipples and pushing the lace and satin of her bra down as she felt them hardening. Her breasts kept the material pushed away as she licked her fingers and resumed her previous actions with one hand while the other dipped down her body, caressing her stomach slowly before her fingers slid into her panties, brushing her clit teasingly and eliciting a soft gasp from her plump lips.

He silently slid off the bed, watching her in her own world as she rubbed herself in circular then up and down motions while still manipulating her chest. He slid his pajama pants down and laid down on his side next to her, his own hand traveling to his hard member and slowly stroking it. He watched as her fingers came out over her panties and then pushed them to the side. He knew what was coming and watched her face as she slid one of her fingers into her heat. That look on her face, that damn smile that was always his undoing was painted on her cherry lips and he fought the urge to push her hands away and take her the way he wanted to. He kept his strokes on himself slow and steady as he watched her add a second finger to her ministrations.

She knew her hips were rocking towards her hand as her wrist guided her fingers in and out in smooth strokes. Her pearly white teeth clenched down on her lower lip as she whimpered and then moaned his name softly while adding a third finger. Her lips slipped open as she panted softly and used her thumb to rub her clit while fucking herself with her fingers. She hissed his name and arched her back slightly as she moaned and writhed on their bright white sheets. Her eyes burst open at the heat that began to flow from her core as she cried his name and bounced her hips against her hand a little more forcefully. She muttered softly as she started to come down from her high, "Oh, fuck, Aaron…"

His hand was shaking as it went over his thick, almost painfully hard member. He watched her start to come down and leaned his mouth over to hers, kissing it hard and he climbed over her, mirroring her earlier position. He panted softly against her lips when her fingers, still wet with her juices wrapped around his cock and began to stroke it, "Did you enjoy that, Aaron?"

He hissed and bit her collar bone, "You fucking know I loved every second." He captured the sides of her neck in his hands and he stared down into her eyes, "But it's my turn now and I'm not going to stop until you cum at least twice, Emily." Emily had barely recovered from her first orgasm, when he started her up all over again. Her eyes widened as she looked at him and took in the wicked smile on his face. His thumb pressed against her clit as he spread her legs wide and he slipped 3 fingers into her heat and thrust them in and out slowly, his fingers curling inside her and pressing on her g-spot. She gripped the bed sheets and bit her lip to allow her body to suppress her scream. she could not believe they were just starting and he already was making her want to scream.

"I loved watching you fuck yourself, Emily. I loved knowing you were doing all that and thinking of me." He licked his lips and spoke against her temple, "Were you thinking of me eating you out?" She gasped softly and rested her palms against his shoulders, "Or were you thinking of my fingers inside you?" She bit her lower lip and squeezed her eyes shut as her hips began to move. "Or were you thinking of my cock in you, Emily? Was that it?" He kept his one hand focused on her core, his fingers thrusting and curling into her and his thumb rubbing and pressing against her clit, and he reached up with his other hand to massage and caress her breasts.

Between his magic fingers and his dirty mouth, she was rapidly approaching her edge. It was not even just his words that were hitting her, but he knew what that voice, his authoritative-complete alpha male-unit chief voice, did to her at any time. She bit out his name in a soft pleading tone and panted softly, "Aaron, please…"

He grit his jaw as she begged him to take her over, his name never sounding more erotic than when it came from those wicked lips. He pulled his hand out of her and slid down her body. He licked along her slit as he situated himself between her legs. He licked his lips and bit her inner thigh, causing her to lift her head and look down at him through glazed eyes, "Watch me, Emily…" he commanded her before he moved his mouth back to her and he sucked on her clit, his teeth occasionally nipping at her pleasure button.

He licked her hard and slid his tongue back to her opening, trailing the tip around her opening before sliding his tongue inside her and hitting her g-spot. He kept driving his tongue inside her and flicking the tip of it on her g-spot. He knew he'd never done anything like this before to her but he loved hearing her and he wanted her to be completely weak with pleasure by the time he was done with her. When he slid he's tongue inside of her, she gasped, "oh my god," she said as if it were one word. As his tongue fucked her, she began to feel her body heat up again rapidly and she prayed that she would be able to control her voice again.

He thrust his tongue into her harder and faster and reached up with his thumb, rubbing and pressing on her clit as his tongue repeatedly thrashed over her g-spot. He used his free hand to squeeze her ass. Emily moaned deeply and felt her body shake as Aaron bought her over her second edge of the night. She lost a little more of her voice control and squeaked softly, "Fuck yeah, baby," and she collapsed on the bed. He moaned against her opening before pulling away, licking her thoroughly again, and then crawling up over her body. He looked down at her and kissed her neck gently as she panted and came down from her second climax, "Holy shit, Aaron."

He chuckled and kissed her cheek, "I'm not done, yet, Emily."

He let her rest for a moment before holding her eyes as he held her legs wide open and pushed his large, swollen cock into her deeply. She moaned loudly and attempted to hold in her scream as she felt her body swallow his in one slick move. She dropped her head back and sank her nails into the skin and muscles of his back, "Aaron." He grinned at the soft gasp of his name.

"Yes, Emily…"

She licked her lips and looked up at him, "Aaron, I… I can't. I'm… oh God…"

He pressed his forehead to hers and spoke in low tones, "You can and you will, Emily…"

She nodded weakly and closed her eyes, "Okay…"

He stilled at that docile, submissive agreement and knew she was nearly weak with pleasure. He slowly began to thrust into her again, his movements deep, slow and powerful. He slid his elbows under her knees and tilted her, allowing him to slide deeper. As he thrust into her, she moaned gently and felt her body build up once more. It was amazing to her that after so many she could still continue to cum for him. She felt him reach past where any other man had and it felt amazing. He was so deep into her she could not tell where he began and she ended.

He kissed her temple and spoke in a harsh voice, alerting her that he was almost at his peak, "Once more, Emily… give in to me once more."

She keened softly and arched towards him as his mouth settled on her neck and marked her darkly. He followed her over shortly after and panted against her neck as they both collapsed together. He pushed himself up on shaky arms and tucked her hair behind her ear, "Are you alright?"

She chuckled and looked up at him, "You're kidding, right? I'm so good I can't even move."

He laughed and kissed her gently before rolling to the side and lying next to her on his side. He licked his lips and climbed off the bed. He headed over to his dresser and pulled out the box he'd been so focused on earlier. He went back to the bed and leaned next to her. He held the box out and smiled at her, "Emily, honey…" He licked his lips as she rolled over and looked at him.

He reached for her hand and wrapped his hand around it. He leaned forward and kissed her lips gently, "Emily, for years I've admired and loved you. I've watched you grow from a beautiful young woman who's mother told me to keep my hands off," she giggled softly at that and he grinned before continuing, "Into a headstrong, spirited, strong woman who's intelligent, compassionate and sexy as hell." He opened the box, the modest ring catching the moonlight and reflecting in the dark orbs he loved to stare into, "Emily, I don't do good with words. I'm not good with games. But I love you, and our child. My son loves you. I want my future to be spent with you." He swallowed hard and kissed her knuckles, "Will you-"

She covered his lips with her fingertips and smiled as she spoke a single word.

"Yes."


	25. 4x11 Normal

**A/N: **Okay so I know I'm a horrible person for not updating this in FOREVER. I know... and I'm sorry. That being said, you guys are the greatest. Do you know HOW many reviews or messages I got about this? I am honored and flattered that you guys enjoy this so much. I will be continuing this. Slowly but surely. S&S is like the little train that could, and it will keep going strong with the help of my amazing friends and reviewers.

Onto that...

**Cinnamonfa, HPforever-after, ppo, SamHelenCarterMagnus, anon, ChofisGarcia, BiKyy, A, sonxfansuz, Maguchi, missjareau, x-MJ-x, SSAEmilyHotchner, Tigerlily02, Pise7en, Cinnamon, HGRHfan35, Tigerlily888, ****Brandywyne Walker,** **sarahb2007, lotani, charmony, and greengirl82: **THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all the support and messages. You all are my inspiration and this chapter wouldn't have happened without all of you.

To **Michelle **and **Nooshin: **My lovely betas. Thank you so much for making sure this went up looking it's best. And Chelle, thank you for having my back lately.

This is set after **4x11 Normal.**

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

* * *

><p><strong>4x11 Normal<strong>

**Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark. - Dan Millman**

_Oh God._

_Oh my God._

_What the hell am I doing?_

It suddenly felt so real.

So real and tremendously wrong.

Nothing seemed to be harder to deal with than the sudden, all consuming feeling of dread that had settled in the very pit of her soul. Her palms were sweaty, her heart was racing, her breath was shallow, and nothing, _NOTHING_, could make it okay again. She shivered slightly as she felt Aaron's eyes settle on her. Those damned eyes that always seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, feeling, craving and always seemed to be ready to profile her, even when she didn't want it, were set on her form right now. She licked the corner of her mouth and worried her lower lip between her bright white teeth as she stared down at the object in her arms.

Emily's heart seemed to stop beating all together as she realized that this was her future. All her hopes, all her dreams, all her life's work had been sending her towards this; two little hands, two little feet, two big eyes, and an impossibly perfect little being that would hopefully bear itsfather's dimples. Her vision blurred with tears as she fought to maintain the control on what was left of her emotions. This whole week had been a whirlwind of emotion for them. Between JJ not being there, and their unsub being a god damned family annihilator, she had been through it all. In an even sicker turn of events, she felt bad for the son of a bitch. Her time with Jack and with the growing life inside her had taught her that with the great gift of being a parent came an even greater sense of responsibility, and when she'd discovered what the Road Warrior had survived, the loss of his youngest child, she'd immediately understood. She'd pictured Jack in that moment, tried to imagine her own child, and the emotions had almost been too much for her. What would she have done if it had been a child that she loved?

Aaron had seemed to have sensed that she was particularly raw with emotion during those moments and had given her plenty of opportunities to disappear and let her emotions out. Being there when he'd realized that he'd slaughtered his entire family, seeing the devastation on his face had struck a powerful chord with the woman. She'd fallen into his arms back at the hotel later that day, found solace in his soothing words and his innate ability to calm her. She'd nearly soaked through the fabric of his dress shirt, weeping openly for the family that they'd lost, that they'd been too late to save.

The plane ride home had been sobering, for more than one reason. Normally, she would've found a measure of strength in the company of the blondeliaison who so often knew exactly what needed to be said; instead she'd had Jordan Todd as a peer and ironically had found a new strength in her bond with the younger woman. Agent Todd's emotions over losing the family eerily mirrored Emily's but for complete opposite reasons. One had felt guilt for believing her own actions caused the demise of those two young girls and their mother; the other had felt a maternal instinct towards the girls, an instinct to protect them from the horror that their father inflicted on others and eventually inflicted upon them as well. Both women had cried on the plane, both finding that the flight back had been too brief to fully allow them to grieve for that family's loss.

She hated that they'd been forced to return to the BAU that night. Strauss's demands seemed to be ever increasing upon the team and Emily knew it would only be a matter of time before one of them would snap. She'd been ready to sit down and bang out her paperwork over a steaming glass of decaffeinated chamomile tea when Reid had pointed out the presence in the BAU room. Twenty minutes and a full bottle of milk later, Henry La Montage was happily alert and looking around at the multitude of faces that made up his extended family. It was here, in these moments of holding that precious child, that Emily's fear settled deep into her soul. She would soon be holding her own child in her arms; and she was terrified of that.

Rationally, she knew that she still had four months to go. She'd already had five months of preparing and planning and shopping and she was ready. She'd done the reading. She knew what to expect; everything on her starting to get bigger, needing new clothes, needing assistance getting up if she'd been sitting too long, shopping for baby items, hormone changes. Oh yes, Emily Prentiss had begun to plan for it all; everything except the overwhelming feeling of complete and utter failure that was blossoming in her chest right now.

"It's a good look for you." A soft voice rang outfrombehind her as she cradled the tiny life in her arms. Emily's dark eyes lifted and sought out the familiar face of the blonde media liaison, and new mother.

"...What?" JJ grinned at the brunette's panicked and terrified wide eyes as her dark eyes studied Henry. JJ leaned the back of her thighs against the conference room table and held the edge with her hands, while observing the clearly anxious mother-to-be with a knowing smile, "You..." she gestured briefly with one hand at Emily, "holding a baby..." She nodded and gave a slight shrug. "It's a good look for you."

Emily laughed softly and lightly bounced in each step with the child, her maternal instincts already seemingly kicking in, "I dunno, JJ. It's one thing for it to look good; but actually parenting it? That's a whole other idea." She shifted the baby in her arms and cradled him vertically, holding his cheek to her shoulder as her other hand cradled his diaper covered bottom with unpracticed but natural ease. She brushed her cheek against the downy hair of the baby boy and let her eyes slip shut as she finally confessed her deepest secret to the blonde. "What if I suck? I didn't have a great mother growing up and... God, JJ. I'm not sure I can do this. I'm not sure I'm ready to screw up another child's life the way my mother almost did mine."

JJ chuckled and rolled her eyes before dropping her head and taking a deep breath. She finally lifted her head to look at Emily and spoke in a soothing, calm manner, trying to keep her voice low so as not to disturb Henry as he slowly drifted to sleep in Emily's secure arms. "Does Jack like you?" Emily's eyes opened and the corners of her lips turned upward, "Yes." JJ nodded, "Then what are you worried about?" She smiled wider and pushed away from the table, heading over to the brunette and caressing her own son's head as it rested to Emily's shoulder in a sound slumber. "You're going to be great; and if need be, I'm only a call away... we all will be."

Emily blinked as her dark eyes filled slightly with tears and she nodded. "Thank you."

**... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... **... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ****... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ****

Once they had made it to the apartment, he took out his key and opened the door to the now silent living room. The emptiness of the space penetrated to his core as he looked at the toys scattered around in the dim, early morning light filtering in through the thin curtains. "Feels strange to not have him here." He chuckled as they walked inside and he closed and locked the door behind them. He walked up close to her, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her close to him before kissing her gently.

She smiled slowly and turned them, tugging his shirt as she backed up against a hallway wall and raised an eyebrow. "As much as I love that little boy, I love his father more." She giggled softly as he stepped up against her and kissed up along her neck. "Is that right?" He bit hard at the junction of her neck and shoulder, eliciting a gasp from her red lips as he growled softly, "I'm fairly certain his father loves you just as much."

She gasped softly and slid her hands into his hair, arching off the wall as he pressed his hips to hers hard, "Just - oh God, Aaron - just fairly certain?" His body quivered some and goosebumps ran up his spine as she tugged his hair. He loved the way she messed with it. He ran his hand back down her side, before sliding it back up, into her shirt. He kissed her neck a few more times before leading his lips up to her mouth and kissing her deeply with a low hum. His thorough kiss robbed her of air and she gasped and arched to him, as he pulled back. "Completely certain." She nodded weakly, "Whatever you say."

He chuckled and rested his forehead to hers. "I loved watching you today," his hands slid to her lower back as he stroked the skin there, "with Henry..." He moved one hand around to her swollen belly, "Made me think about what we'll be doing in a few months." She hummed softly and held onto his shoulders gently, "It's going to be our baby."

She looked at him. "What if I'm horrible, Aaron? I mean, let's be real here, I didn't have a good mother and I've never..." She shrugged, "What if I'm not meant to be a mother?"

He kissed her cheek, "You need to relax. You're going to be great." She looked up at him with uncertain eyes, the dark orbs glazed and slightly watery. He leaned down and kissed her mouth gently. "Emily, you're going to be great. Now relax and let me worry about everything else." He kissed her cheek then her temple, "You know what you need?" She shook her eyes and shrugged as his fingertips massaged her temples and coaxed her to relax. Her eyes slid shut as she drooped against the wall, fisting her hands in the front of his shirt to keep from falling. "What do I need?"

He kissed the tip of her nose, "A bubble bath." She blinked her eyes open. "Can I? Even though I'm pregnant?" He nodded. "Sure, Haley took them all the time with Jack... the water has to be close to body temp, but it'll be fine." He slid his hands to her hips and eased her away from the wall, before guiding her back to the bathroom. She sat down on the closed toilet and watched him intently. She loved that this alpha male that was known at work for being such a hard nose was so quick to spoil her when they were home and tucked away safe in the confines of their own home. He grinned and kissed her again before leaning down to turn on the water to the bath.

Once the water was warm, he put the stop in and let the tub fill up before standing up and turning towards her. "Strip." She raised an eyebrow as a saucy grin turned her lips upward. He slowly began to undo his tie, before dropping it on the floor by their feet. "You can't get in clothed." His fingers worked quickly at pushing the buttons on his shirt through their holes. He then shrugged both his shirt and jacket to the floor and opened his pants and belt. He was practically nude and she was still sitting there, eying him hungrily, taking in each ripple of muscle before she got to work, quickly removing her blouse and bra and then stepping up to the nude man in front of her. He eyed her, tracing his dark stare over each curve and grinning at the maternity pants she was donning. He slid his hands inside the elastic band and rolled it down to below the swell of her stomach, kissing the side of her neck as he did so. She kissed his mouth tenderly and stepped out of her pants, standing bare before him. She headed towards the tub and slid into the water, moaning softly at the warmth. "Hmmm...oh God."

He smiled as he watched her get in before following her. He placed himself inside the tub and sighed with pleasure as he felt the warm water surround him. "Mmm, good isn't it?" She hummed softly and smiled as he guided her back to his chest, resting his chin against her shoulder as he held her close. She kissed his cheek as she leaned her head back to his shoulder. He licked along her exposed neck, brushing his lips and tongue along her pulse point and jaw line. She moaned softly and moved her hands to rest on his knees. "Mmhmm... it's even better with you in here too." She traced her fingers along the slick skin under the bubble filled water and turned her face to rest it against his neck, "Feels good relaxing with you."

She sighed as he caressed her bump then licked her lips slowly, "You know, we need to start looking at names..." He huffed softly. "I hate that part. So many remind me of serial killers." She chuckled softly and splashed at him awkwardly, "I'm serious, Aaron. We've only got three more months and I would like our children to know who they areas soon as they are born."

Silence followed her declaration before she looked up at him seeing a stunned expression. "Children? Plural?" She nodded, "As in two or more?" "Yes." She rested her hands on their bump, "Two babies, Aaron." He shook his head, "Why didn't I know?" She shrugged, "You were in meetings with the director and Strauss the day of my sonogram. I went and the doctor told me... It's twins, Aaron." He looked at her bump and she nodded, "A boy and a girl." She kissed his neck. "And we need to name them."

He blinked then gulped audibly. "We need to buy..." She laughed, "Yes, yes, yes; I know. We need to buy two of everything." She licked her lips, "The doctor originally didn't think there was more than one, but they surprised us." She chuckled and shrugged lightly, "Something tells me that they'll be doing that the rest of their lives." His silence persisted and she gripped the side of the tub and turned her upper body to face him a little more, "Aaron, please...please say something."

He looked at her. "Sophie." She tilted her head and he nodded, "I want the girl to be Sophie." She stared at their pair of joint hand on her belly, "I like that. Sophie... Sophia." She looked up at him, with dark eyes, "I want the boy to be Matthew." He tilted his head back, resting it on the curved lip of the bath. "Aaron, Jack, Matthew. Matt. Matty." He smiled, his dimples emerging and gave a firm nod, "I like that." Her eyes clouded over as she thought about the boy she was naming her son after and she warmed. It had all come full circle.

**... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... **... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ****... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ****

She rolled over in bed with a groan and reached for Aaron, her hand impacting the cool sheet and she blinked her eyes open. "Hmmm..." She looked around and sat up sleepily, glancing at the clock as she stretched her back and let several vertebrae click back into place. Her dark eyes widened at the time flashing in red digital numbers from her clock. 9:30 AM. She jolted out of bed, pulling her robe on over her sleeping shorts and her tank top and hustled towards Aaron's kitchen. Her footsteps stopped abruptly when she heard a soft familiar giggle from the kitchen, followed by one that was a little deeper and even more familiar. She leaned against the wall by the kitchen silently, watching the two Hotchner men as they cooked and she warmed dramatically, thinking about their future. Soon it'd be Aaron with two little boys and a little girl at his heels, their two children mixing with Jack as siblings should. She smiled slowly and crept up behind them before she scooped Jack up in her arms as he squealed and giggled lightly. She kissed his cheeks gently and tickled him. "Emmy!" She laughed softly and held him on her hip as she stepped up next to Aaron and looked over his shoulder. "Hmm... Making breakfast? Yummy!" She looked up at Aaron and leaned in, kissing him gently. "Isn't there a rule that you need to kiss the cook?" Jack pouted, "I helped!" She giggled and kissed all over his face, eliciting another bout of laughter from the boy before she set him down and let him run out of the room. She dragged her fingers up Aaron's back. "I love a man that can cook."

He looked back over his shoulders and smiled, dimples beginning to appear once more. "Really? Haley hated it. Never let me touch anything in the kitchen. Said that it was 'her domain'..." He shook his head and sighed softly before turning completely around and facing her. He met her eyes and pressed his lips against hers in a slow tender kiss that sent jolts of electricity through her body. He took a step back to admire her in the robe and chuckled, "You really look great in my robe." He winked and nuzzled her neck before running his hands up her sides. "How are you feeling?" She shrugged, "Not too bad. The morning sickness hasn't been _that_ bad and it's all but stopped now." She kissed the hollow of his throat, "Have you told him yet?" He shook his head and she nodded, "Are we going to?" He grinned, "Eventually. I just - I don't want him to go home and report it to Haley. Not when she's still trying to-"

She covered her lover's mouth with her fingertips. "Her name's not allowed to be spoken. Not when we're alone here in your place, talking about our future." She shook her head, "She's your past Aaron..." she brought his hands to her abdomen and grinned, "_WE_ are your future." She stared into his eyes, "Now..." She studied the stove and chuckled, "How did the little man get here and what's for breakfast?"

Aaron smiled and allowed her to slide in front of him as he resumed his cooking, "Well, Haley called around 8, something about needing to drop him off because she had an appointment of some kind." He shrugged with a slight sigh then kissed the side of her head and nodded at the various pans, "And for eats, we have chocolate chip pancakes in the shape of dinosaurs - they're Jack's favorite -, some fresh strawberries, and bacon." She nodded and eyed the spread with approving eyes before kissing him over her shoulder. "Very nice." She kissed his chin and ducked away from the stove, "You want a coffee?" He shook his head, "Nope." Her eyes widened as she looked at him, "Aaron...?" He shrugged, "You can't have it, so why should I?" He pinched her chin lightly. "There's some decaf tea waiting for you on the table there." He winked at her, "Thought you might be getting up soon." She raised an eyebrow and eyed him carefully, "It's no wonder you were able to convince me to marry you and get me pregnant. You're too damn thoughtful." She went to the table and took a deep inhale, smelling her tea, before she took a long sip, "Mmmmm." She licked her lips and sat down at the table.

He plated it all and brought it to the table, getting out a mug and making himself some tea to match her and pouring a small glass of milk for Jack. He called for his son to come and Jack quickly ran down from his room at his father's place. The boy eyed his chair, then Emily, and walked over to her, holding his arms up to her. She picked Jack up and set him down onto her lap, then cuddled him close, one of her arms wrapping around his tiny waist as she secured him to the tops of her thighs. She brushed her other hand through his hair and looked at Aaron over their son's head with a shy smile. She used her free hand to cut the pancake apart with her fork and put some syrup and butter on it. Jack used his own fork and together they both devoured the dinosaur shaped pancake. She let Jack eagerly eat her bacon as she picked at the strawberries. She kissed his cheek, then cycled out their plates, allowing them to repeat their pattern with Jack's dish.

Emily cuddled him in close and he whispered to her about what he wanted to do today; swinging in the park, drawing a picture for her desk, watching a movie with her. She nodded and smiled warmly. "Do you want to go start on that picture for me?" He nodded and she turned so Jack could go be independent. She reached over the table and took Aaron's hand in hers. He looked up at her and grinned, before mouthing to her, 'I love you'. She nodded and murmured softly, "Je t'aime ma chérie." She winked at him and carried her dish and Jack's dish to the sink, then began to wash them. Her instinctive motherly side wanting to make sure things were all taken care of before they could relax and spend their day with Jack. She watched her hands as they cleaned the plates and her mind focused entirely on the names they'd discussed that night.

Matthew. She hadn't thought that name in years and now... she felt her stomach lurch as she thought about her decision from so many years ago. The dish splashed back into the water as she darted to the bathroom and shut the door, making it to the toilet in time and vomiting up their breakfast. Pain radiated through her chest as she choked and gagged on the food coming back up. She finally sat back on her knees and dropped her heated forehead to the cool seat. She finally had everything she'd ever wanted... and now her past was haunting her and threatening to take everything away.

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><p><em><strong>Next chapter will likely contain some M rated goodness. Just be prepared. Now, do you see that cool blue button down there? Please click it and leave me some feedback! Love it? Hate it? Like it? Want more of it? It's all appreciated! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	26. 4x12 Soul Mates & 4x13 Bloodlines

**A/N: **I am a complete and total piece of shit for not replying to all of you beautiful reviewers individually, but things have been a little crazy. I'm back with a vengeance though!

To** Cinnamonfa, HPforever-after, ChofisGarcia, x-MJ-x, HGRHfan35, sarahb2007, lotani, charmony, KLa, LacytheDemonicWerewolf, lou3174, Rugbygirrl, renruta, claire-nicole, AlpineHolly, katp70, emmasong95, and greengirl82: **The reviews were so amazing and inspired me so much that I went out and wrote 4 chpaters over my absence. Each chapter will be posted in the next 4 weeks in order. Stick around, it's going to get REALLY good.

To **Michelle: **Baby, you are amazing. Thank you so much for having my back, for being my confidant, and for always being my inspiration. So often you say one phrase or one word that will ignite an entire chapter. You're a huge part of my muse and a huge part of this fic. Thank you.

This is set after **4x12 Soul Mates and 4x13 Bloodlines**

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

_RATED M FOR A REASON!_

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

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><p><strong>When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching- they are your family. - Jim Butcher<strong>

Silence.

Just the soft sound of breathing feeling the room.

His hand tangled tightly with hers; his thumb stroking hers in slow circles.

Moments like this made her love him even more.

His scent mixing with hers as they sat in bed, with their backs pressed to the headboard as they mulled over the last couple cases which had fallen into their laps. Both cases involved the loyalty of a family. Both cases, like all the cases they got called in to investigate, involved the killing of innocent people. She'd never say that one case was worse than another but it certainly felt like the case they'd just finished trumped the one before it.

Nothing seemed to compete with the idea that families were killing the parents of little girls to steal them to become their son's wife. _Breeders._ It was a term she'd used in reference to the woman that she and Aaron had tag teamed up to crack. That woman wasn't a wife; she didn't know anything about being in love with her husband, about giving her heart to a man and praying that he wouldn't crush it. She was nothing more than a young girl who was stolen and used for her uterus.

Emily shivered as she ran her hand along the bump of her belly. Kathy Gray was the total opposite of Emily Prentiss. Where one was warm and compassionate with any child she came in contact with, the other was cold and scheming on how to kill that little girl's parents with her son and husband. Emily looked at Aaron as he worked his jaw and stared at the wall opposite their bed. She tilted her head and watched him for several moments before she tilted her cheek to his shoulder and let her forehead rest against his neck, "We can't save them all, Aaron."

Aaron shook his head and let go of her hand, instead opting to wrap his arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead, "I'm not thinking about that. I know we can't do that." He swallowed, "Jordan..." He frowned and shrugged lightly as he spoke softly against her forehead, "Jordan said something earlier that got me thinking." He stroked her shoulder and licked his lips before easing her back so he could look into her eyes, "Do I take you for granted?" She raised an eyebrow and snorted softly, "_You _take _me_ for granted?" She shook her head, "Never."

He nodded lightly and dropped his eyes before leaning back to the headboard again and working his jaw more, "She said that families take after their leaders. That I don't show much emotion..." Emily nodded and eyed him, one of her hands resting on his chest as she listened and let him speak. He needed it, that much was clear; he needed her to sit and listen as he worked through this thing on his own. "Am I cold? Frigid?" She met his dark eyes with hers and smiled slowly, her lips parting to reveal her teeth in a tender smile as she shifted her body to straddle his thighs. Her hands rested on his chest as she leaned forward and rested her forehead to his, "Aaron, you are many things. Cold and frigid will never be on that list."

She kissed him gently then leaned back, "You're professional. You're objective. You're detached from the things we see..." she poked the center of his chest lightly, "Sometimes." He gave her a weak smile and she traced her index finger along one of his dimples, "You don't let people see how emotional you can be, but I know better. I always have." Her hands guided his to her bump and she ran her hands softly along the back of his hands, "I wouldn't be here..." she kissed his forehead, "In your bed..." then kissed his right cheek, "Wearing your engagement ring..." then his left cheek, "Carrying your children..." then kissed his mouth gently before leaning back, "If you weren't able to be emotional and caring."

She ran her fingers back through his hair and massaged his temples with her thumbs, "Even right now, how you're worrying about this... it shows just how deep your emotions run, Aaron." His eyes drifted shut slowly as she massaged his temples to soothe him. She smiled as she watched him relax and felt his start to stroke her bump before he spoke again. "I felt horrible for Kate's dad." She barely paused for a second before sighing, "Why?"

His eyes opened and he brought his hands up to capture her wrists, "He hadn't seen her in a month and a half..." She raised her eyebrows but narrowed her eyes slightly, still unaware of just where this line of thought was going. "And..." Aaron's glassy dark eyes were shining in the dim light from the bedside table as he spoke, "We haven't seen Jack in 2 months. Between cases and Haley's own bullshit reasons, we haven't seen Jack and I..." he shook his head with a soft sigh, "If my colleagues tell me I don't show emotion, and I don't see my son enough..." He looked up at her and slid his hand along her cheek, tangling his fingers into her dark hair and running his thumb over her cheek, "Why would a woman like you want to be with me?"

She turned her head in his palm and kissed it gently, "Because a woman like me can see through all that shit and sees what a wonderful, loving, caring, gentle man Aaron is beneath the shell: the hard, armored shell that is Hotch." She looked into his eyes and shrugged, "I've always been able to see that, Aaron. Watching you these last two weeks with the families we encountered... you're not this cold, heartless man that people think you are. You're a warm, loving man who makes me feel like a fucking goddess... even with my thicker midsection and maternity band pants." She giggled softly, "You make me feel sexy and beautiful with just a little brush of your hand along my neck."

He smiled slowly and dipped his head until she caught his cheeks in her hands and tilted his head up, "And you make me feel loved every single time I see those dark eyes settled on me. I never doubt if your emotions are there. I can see them all in your eyes. They give away more than you know." She rested her forehead to his, "I know these cases took a lot out of us, Aaron. I know they did and I know that it's hard to be in those shoes and see how destructive some families are. We aren't them. We're not like that."

He nodded, causing her head to bob a little too and she pecked his lips tenderly, "My family's traditions don't include killing other family's to find mates for the children." She smirked, "Although my mother seems to think that her responsibilities are similar to that in a much less violent manner." Aaron laughed, his breath warming Emily's face as she leaned into him, letting her chest press to his, "And I know that you're not going to raise Jack to kill another family so he can find his bride. You're helping to raise that boy the right way. We both are."

Aaron hummed softly then eyed her carefully, "You're really good at that, you know?" She tilted her head, "At what?" Aaron brushed his thumb along her lower lip and smiled, "At making me feel better and making me forget my problems." She gave him a smug grin and raised her eyebrows, "I'm a profiler, Aaron. It's my job to read people... I just happen to know how to read your problems then fix them too." She winked and he laughed again as she traced her hands along his bare chest, "You know what you're good at?" He shook his head, even though his dark eyes gave away the evidence that he knew.

She slid her hips forward and brushed them against his as she tugged on his earlobe with her teeth lightly then licked along the shell of his ear before muttering lightly, "At making love to me." She kissed his temple again and pushed the blankets back from them, initiating the act that they hadn't participated in for over 2 weeks. She kissed him slowly as his hands traced her thighs then pushed the hem of her loose negligee over her bump then up her chest. She leaned back as he rid her of the blue satin and lace then resumed kissing him as his hands found solace on her breasts.

She moaned softly as his gun calloused fingers toyed with her erect and sensitive nipples, rolling them and lightly pinching them. He sat up straighter and bent his legs up to support her back as he leaned her back to them and sucked on her nipples; teasing one side with his mouth while his hand worked the other. She gasped at feeling his mouth on her and ground her hips to his slowly and methodically. _Slow and steady wins the race, Emily. Slow and steady. Make this last._

Her fingers raked through his hair and gave it a slight tug, resulting in his teeth nipping at her nipple before he switched sides and began giving the other the attention that the first one had gotten. She whimpered softly and dropped her head back, exposing the long lean column of her throat as she worked against him over and over, "Aaron..." his name was a strangled gasp from her throat as she got lost in the feeling of his mouth and hand on her chest and his semi-erect length rubbing at her core through her panties.

Aaron eyed her from his viewpoint of ample cleavage and gave her nipple a firm suck then released it with a pop before gliding his hand to her core and pulling her panties to the side. He watched her closely as he ran his thumb along her clit and grinned in success as she gasped his name and her movements grew erratic. He rubbed her a little harder, not having to do as much as her body was so sensitive from her pregnancy. He slid his free hand up into her hair and tilted her head so he could watch her eyes as they darkened then locked onto his. She bit her lip, white teeth clamping down on her soft naturally raspberry colored lip before she released it with a soft cry.

"Thatta girl, Emily. Come on... Let me hear it."

She shook her head, silently pleading with him to give her everything she wanted from him. He smiled saucily and mirrored her by shaking his head as he pressed to her clit harder. Her jaw fell open in a silent cry and her eyes clenched shut as he added the pressure. Her hips rocked to his hand quicker and he swore she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen; pregnant with his children and riding his hand to her climax. She'd never looked more beautiful or more like his own private porn flick. Her short nails sank into his shoulders as she cried out some indistinguishable word and he felt the wetness of her climax dampen her panties even more. He dropped his knees and laid her back, removing her practically dripping panties from her body before he slid off the bed and kicked off his own pyjama pants.

He kissed her bump slowly, communicating his love for her and their two children that were growing inside her. She sat up on her elbows to watch him through her dreamy, post-climax haze. One hand ran over his head as the other kept her up and he grinned at her before spreading her legs again. Her wide dark eyes grew impossibly wider and she shook her head slowly, telling him she didn't think she could handle more. He nodded and tapped his thumb to her clit, eliciting a soft whimper before she dropped to the bed on her back and fisted her hands in the comforter and sheet. He swirled the flat plane of his tongue around her sensitive nub then gave it a slow, deep suck releasing it with a pop and repeating it. She trembled beneath him and he grinned wickedly before sliding two fingers into her tight channel while his mouth secured over her clit and licked and sucked at the button of nerves that he knew would be her undoing.

Emily cursed him softly in her head as he drove her toward her second climax for the night. _God damn over achiever. Never satisfied til he's gotten the best result he- fuck he's good at this- he can. _She brought the knuckle of her index finger to her mouth and bit down lightly while trying to keep herself from giving into him. She'd make it hard for him alright; make him work to get her to scream. She grit her teeth so hard she was sure she'd either break the skin at her knuckle or crack a molar. Then he upped the ante and added a third finger to her core.

She let out a mangled scream of some affirmation that she knew she couldn't identify even if she wanted to and rocked her hips toward him harder. Soft commands sounded from her lips as his fingers and mouth quickly propelled her to her second climax. She opened her mouth and muttered softly, "God, Aaron... anyone who- fuck yes- doubted your ability to love just needs to- ah... harder- to witness what you do to me in bed." She dug her heels into the mattress and arched her back as stars exploded behind her eyelids and she released a second time, feeling him lap at her release like a cat licking up its milk. She dropped to the bed and he crawled up over her, "I believe you told me that I'm really good at making love to you."

She nodded weakly and reached her two hands up to cup his cheeks as he grinned and kissed her, sharing her taste with her and letting their tongues entwine for a moment before he sat back and brought her onto his lap. His legs bent up again, repeating the earlier position that had brought her so much pleasure and he slid into her slowly, letting his hardened length fill her inch by inch until her pelvis was seated directly on top of his and he was completely engulfed by her heat.

She was barely breathing.

How could she have forgotten how good he felt this deep inside her?

She rolled her hips lightly and felt him twitch in her channel, rubbing her g-spot. She yelped softly and he leaned up and kissed her, "Bounce baby. Ride me." She nodded and slowly began to undulate her hips on his length; up and down, up and down, then side to side in slow circles that drove him mad. He gripped her hips and moved them with her, guiding her a little faster but making sure she felt him twitching inside her with his evident need to release and fill her with the essence of his love. He began moving his hips in time with her, pumping in and out as she moved up and down, each stroke together took him deep inside her and each stroke apart, left him just on the edge of losing their connection.

He grit his jaw and growled out softly, "I love you. So fucking much. You are mine, Emily. All mine." She nodded weakly and murmured her reply, barely able to think, let alone speak, "Yours. Only yours, Aaron." He cupped the side of her neck in his hand and tilted her head to look at him, "Look at me." She blinked her eyes open lazily and stared at him, "Say it again." She nodded, "I'm yours, Aaron." He nodded and held her hips still as he began thrusting up into her harder. Her body bounced lightly with the strength of his thrusts but it was all him moving her. She cried his name sharply as her third climax ripped through her and her internal muscles clenched hard on his length.

The sudden tightness gripped him like a vice and he managed two more thrusts before burying deep inside her as he emptied everything he had inside her. The two sweaty forms collapsed to the bed, keeping their intimate connection as she laid on his chest panting and letting him wrap his arms around her and hold her gently. Several minutes passed by before his length slipped from her and she groaned a soft, "No."

He smiled weakly and rolled them onto their sides, keeping her pulled close to him and allowing himself to kiss her forehead then her mouth, "Don't ever let me take you for granted, Emily. I'd hate to lose you because I'm not giving you something that you need or desire. As soon as that happens... I want to be the first to know."

She nodded and touched his cheek, "Always, Aaron. Always."

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><p><em><strong>Did you enjoy that? Do you want to see what happens next? Love it? Hate it? Like it? Want more of it? It's all appreciated! So please, PLEASE, click that cool little blue button down there and let me know what you thought! I love to hear from you, and if you have anything you want to see happen, that's welcome too! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>_


	27. 4x16 Pleasure is my Business

**A/N: **I tried to reply to all as you reviewed; if I missed you, I'm so sorry!

To** Cinnamonfa, HPforever-after, x-MJ-x, HGRHfan35, sarahb2007, lotani, charmony, Rugbygirrl, renruta, katp70, emmasong95, Guest, Catulicioius, SSAEmilyHotchner, and greengirl82: **Thank you all so much for your reviews! I do so ENJOY hearing from you all and it inspires me to keep going. I seem to be back on my old roll. I hope you all enjoy this one too.

To **Michelle: **You know I love you. I love our ability to share and discuss and work through chapters. Thank you for being the best beta a girl could ever want.

This is set after **4x16 "Pleasure is my Business."**

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

* * *

><p><strong>Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love. - George Eliot<strong>

_Hooker._

_Whore._

_Prostitute._

_Call girl._

_What fucking difference does a title make?_

Emily Prentiss was not happy.

_Oh, God. I'm going to vomit._

As the disembodied voice on the other end of the phone purred his name over and over, his _GIVEN _first and last name no less, Emily felt her heart rate begin to pound harder and faster. Aaron sent her an apologetic glance and counted down to three with her then looked away from her dark eyes, picking up the phone and her clicking speaker on at the same time. He couldn't look at her and speak to this woman at the same time. Looking at Emily might give something away about himself that he wasn't sure he wanted this woman to know.

There had to be some unspoken rule about this shit written down somewhere in a book.

_Thou shalt not have to listen to thou's fiancé speaking on the phone to a hooker._

Emily fought the urge to grimace as she listened to the woman talking to Aaron. She'd done research on him? Christ, what else did this woman know? Emily's dark eyes glared at the speaker, willing the woman to be quiet and to leave Aaron out of her sick, twisted game of sex, poison, and death. Emily tried her very best to remain stoic as the conversation progressed but when Aaron mentioned his family, specifically walking out on his family, her dark eyes shot straight to him and her stomach flipped. Was he baiting her? Was he going to use himself as live bait for this woman? As she listened to him talking about Jack and Haley to the woman and not acknowledge her or their unborn children, she felt her stomach twisting and turning.

She swallowed the bile that seemed stuck in her throat down and shivered slightly at the burn as it returned to its place deep in her stomach. The woman's words echoed in the empty penthouse, "_Don't compare yourself to the men I see. You're nothing like them." _Emily bit the inside of her cheek to keep from giving a snort of agreement. Aaron was nothing like the men that this woman would have on her client list. Aaron wasn't the type to pay for sex. Not when he could have his pick of the litter of the FBI's female agents; not when he had her ready to come at his beck and call.

Aaron was even further from these men because of the way he treated his family, the way he treated his son. Aaron gave endlessly to Jack and Haley, to his job, and to her and their soon-to-be-present family. Jack was everything to her fiancé, and she'd be the first to admit that she was alright with it. That little boy was his father's entire world and he knew it just as much as Emily, Haley, and Aaron knew it. He might not get to see his son as much as he would've liked but child support payments were never late, toys were sent on a regular basis, calls were made when visits couldn't be arranged, and the young boy was never out of his father's mind for a single moment.

She jolted slightly at the gunshot then watched as Aaron spoke into the phone louder and more aggressively, "Hello? Hello?" The phone clicked dead and he stared at it as Derek barked into his phone at Garcia. Aaron looked at Emily and she licked her lips and turned her head from him. Right now wasn't the time to deal with her thoughts on the call. Not when they all had just been listening to another victim get murdered.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"_How could your wife have ever left someone like you?"_

There it was again, that rolling in her stomach that made her want to lash out and literally beat someone into a bloody pulp in a fashion that would terrify at least 30% of the unsubs she'd helped put away. Emily and JJ froze in the corridor they'd gone down and JJ's hands supported Emily as they slid down the wall to listen to the conversation. Emily's hands shook as JJ covered them with her own and licked her lips.

"Em..."

Emily held up her hand to silence the blonde. She wanted to hear this. She felt tears sliding down her face as the girl spoke softly to Aaron. It was driving her crazy that this woman was saying similar things to him that she herself had spoken once upon a time at the beginning of their relationship.

"_You're the first man I've ever met who hasn't let me down."_

Emily rolled her lips into her mouth and released JJ's hands as she dropped her face into her palms. Her chest quivered with silent sobs as she confronted the fact that this mistress, this whore, had somehow managed to make a connection with Aaron, with _her_ Aaron. She felt two strong arms wrap around her as she silently cried, listening to the final blows being dealt to her heart.

"_Will you stay with me?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Promise?"_

"_Promise."_

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

He didn't know what he'd done wrong.

He couldn't place it at all.

But clearly he was in the dog house with the brunette he was staring at.

"What did I do this time?"

She rolled her eyes as she repacked her go bag in silence. He watched her in silence for several minutes; pick up the item, fold it, smooth it, lay it in the bag, repeat. He frowned and finally tugged her go bag away and took her hands in his as he guided her to stand in front of him, "Can you please tell me, how I've fucked up so I can begin to amend my ways? Please?"

She gave him a pointed look and tilted her head, "_How could your wife have ever left someone like you?"_ She parroted the phrase back to him with a tone of disdain in her voice. She rolled her eyes and pulled her hands away before grabbing her go bag and muttering softly in the same mocking tone, "_You're the first man who's never let me down."_ She threw a shirt angrily into her bag then immediately took it out, refolded it and laid it in gently, smoothing it in the bag so it wouldn't be wrinkled. "Didn't realize it was so easy for you to relate with a hooker, Aaron."

She stepped around him and headed to the bathroom to pack her toiletries up. Her voice was a soft echo from the room as she continued to speak to him, "Do you always connect so easily with prostitutes or is that a skill you've practiced before?" She emerged with her toiletry bag and shrugged, "I mean I know about Kate Joyner and, well, obviously how _WE_ got started. Were there more? Paid girlfriends who made those lonely nights away from Haley easier to-"

"Stop before you say something you're going to regret."

She scoffed and set her toiletries in the bag then moved it to the table by the TV. Her clothing for the next day was laid out and she was currently sporting a t-shirt that designated her as '_One Hot Mama-To-Be' _courtesy of Penelope Garcia along with a pair of shorts that repeated the phrase in various colors of red, pink, and purple on a white background. She tugged the white over the calf Hanes brand socks up her legs then slid into the bed, crossing her arms over her bump, "Who says I'd regret finishing that sentiment?"

Aaron sighed, "I do..." He slid into bed, his body next to hers as he mirrored her and licked his lips, "Because you'd be wrong." He eyed her carefully, "I never had to pay for a woman to sleep with me. My standards are higher than that and frankly, I never felt the need to look for that. As we've discussed before, Kate Joyner was a very big one-time mistake. You were the result of years of sexual tension finally coming to fruition. I'd never call you a whore, and certainly never classify you as a hooker." He took her hand, "She needed to hear everything I said to her. She needed to hear the things I shared." He squeezed her hand, "She didn't need to know that I'd moved on and have a new start. That would've pissed her off and would've made her classify me as one of those bastards she was killing."

He tugged her into his arms, "I wasn't about to set her off with the knowledge that I'd moved on from my ex-wife and son to have a new family with the woman I'm engaged to now." He tilted his head, "I didn't make a connection with her, Emily. I don't do that. It's very hard for me to make a connection with a woman. It took me how many years to finally open up to you?" She blushed lightly and he guided her to his shoulder, "I love you. I promise and even though that girl seemed to have some weird fascination with me because of her Daddy issues... that would never change how I feel about you, and our little ones."

She nodded slowly and grinned slowly as she quietly admitted the truth, "It made me jealous. I wanted it to be me saying all those wonderful things to you about how you were such a great man and how I couldn't understand why Haley left you." Aaron chuckled softly and kissed her forehead, "You did once. When we started this whole thing..." She gave a slight nod and then shrugged, "I suppose so." He gave her side a gentle squeeze, "If you want, you can repeat them all again right now." Her eyes brightened and she nodded, "You're the best man I've ever met, Aaron Hotchner." His yes danced with mirth as she cuddled into his side and held him as he turned the bedside light off. She yawned and draped one of her long legs over his two legs, "I will never understand why your wife left you..." she quietly added on as she began to drift to sleep, "But I'll forever be grateful that she did."

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><p><strong>Love it? Hate it? Like it? Want more of it? It's all appreciated! So please, PLEASE, type me a review in that cool little box then click that cool little blue button down there and let me know what you thought! I love to hear from you, and if you have anything you want to see happen, that's welcome too! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>


	28. 4X17 Demonology

**A/N: **Again,I tried to reply to all as you reviewed; if I missed you, I'm so sorry but my dad just lost my job and now I'm working to try to find something new for him.

To** HPforever-after, CriminallyCastle, HGRHfan35, sarahb2007, charmony, renruta, emmasong95, Guest, NicknHotchfan, and greengirl82: **My faithful reviewers! :) You guys are my inspirations and I love you all. Thanks for sticking by me, even though the not so warm or smutty chapters!

To **Michelle: **My beta. My friend. Thank you.

This is set after **4x17 "Demonology".**

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!** I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

_Let me just say that this chapter took a lot out of me. Lots of crying. Lots of emotions. Demonology is one of my favorite Prentiss episodes, but it's also one of the hardest to watch. I hope you enjoy this._

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

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><p>"<strong>He who has faith has an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come well- even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly." - B.C. Forbes<strong>

Something was wrong.

Something was very, very wrong. He had never seen her like this. Emily Prentiss was her own woman; stronger than any other woman he'd ever come in contact with. She could handle herself in a gym opposite Derek during sparring practice. She could take on Jason Gideon in a game of chess and win. Often times she served as the translator for the team when they encountered various languages, or when Reid would ramble off some random facts that only she ever seemed to comprehend. She was the pillar that they relied on, the glue that held their small family of agents together; and right now, he knew he was witnessing a moment of overwhelming and devastatingly raw vulnerability and break down for that pillar. Blows had been dealt to her that had rattled her and shattered her to the very core of her own person.

That fact had been evident from the very moment she'd started explaining the case to him in his office. _'Just found out that an old friend of mine died.' _The pain that had been etched into her dark eyes, and had echoed from her voice as she'd spokenhad given him all the clues he'd needed to know that whatever they were about to face would change the entire course of their future as a couple. This case, more so than any they'd faced before, was personal. It was something that meant a lot to her and he knew that he'd give her anything he could to help her fix this. Then he'd met John Cooley. The leather of the steering wheel creaked beneath his hands as his grip tightened on it hard and fast. He didn't know her past with him but he'd seen enough to know that whatever history they'd had had not ended well. He'd seen it in her eyes and the way she behaved with him. Emily wasn't comfortable with John Cooley being exposed to the team, especially not him. Aaron released his grip and turned off the heat in his truck, the jealousy and anger he felt beginning to warm him in the cruelest of ways as he followed behind her slowly.

Whatever history existed between Emily and John wasn't any of Aaron's concern. He knew what he needed to know. They'd grown up together. They'd known Matthew. Matthew had meant something to Emily; had meant _a lot_ to Emily. Ergo, Matthew's case meant a lot to Aaron. He stopped and parked in the parking lot on the opposite side of the street from her. She was standing in front of a church. He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes as he watched her while muttering softly to himself in the quickly cooling interior of his truck, "What are you doing, Emily?"

He couldn't stop staring at her from his spot in his dark car while she stood in front of the church in the falling snow and freezing temperatures. He knew her well enough to know that a contemplative stare was occupying her large brown eyes as she looked up at the three round stained glass murals and large stone pillars. He sighed and pursed his lips in thought before drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. This case had been hard for all them; had taken a lot out of every single one of them. Even the ones strongest in their faith were questioning their beliefs by the end of it and he couldn't help but wonder if any of them were going to be able to come out on the other side of this one without some kind of emotional scar.

Dave had shot Aaron a text as he'd left her at the back of the ambulance; a text that informed him that the brunette was going to 'go for a walk' and that it would probably be a wise idea to keep an eye on her. Aaron had immediately turned his vehicle around and began following her at a safe distance. There was no need for him to infringe on her private moments, as she very clearly needed the privacy and space to deal with her own feelings in her own way in her own time; but he'd be damned if he wasn't going to be close enough to hold her should she need the support and strength that they so readily gave to one another when it was needed.

She slowly began the ascent into the building and he quickly shut his car off and climbed out. Snow began to drop onto the backof his coat and settle into his dark strands as he followed her in, running silently up the stairs and catching the door as it almost shut. He slid into the shadows of the back of the church as she made her way up the main aisle. Her footfalls were silent on the red carpet that led up to the altar and he followed along behind her, hugging close to the wall and staying out of her view. She stared up at the large sculpture of the resurrected Christ hanging from behind the altar and he was struck at how child-like she appeared. She slowly shrugged out of her coat, letting it fall to the ground behind her and set something down on step in front of her.

A soft and ragged breath echoed through the church, followed by a sharp hiccup then anaudible sob. He watched helplessly from the shadows as he stood even with her, his eyes watching her profile as she dropped her head into her hands and wept openly for the friend she'd lost. She sat back on her haunches and continued to sob before leaning back and wiping at her eyes. For the first time, he noticed the red on her face, just below her nose. She had a nose bleed. _Stress._ It was an physical reminder of just how hard this case had been, and the kind of toll it had taken on her body. She sniffled lightly and wiped her nose on her sleeve, the black fabric hiding the smudge of red that he was certain would've been visible on any other color. He licked his lips as she folded her hands and soft words in a language he couldn't understand sounded through the space.

She was praying.

He'd never even heard her say she believed in any religion, but here she was praying in Latin in a deserted church. He bowed his head, but kept his eyes on her as he folded his hands and sent up a silent prayer or two of his own for her friend that she'd fought so valiantly to vindicate. He lifted his head as her voice went silent and watched as she stood up, grabbed what he now saw was a picture from the step in front of her then slid her coat on. She rubbed her bump and he stifled the urge to gasp. _Matthew._ She had wanted to name their son Matthew. Finally, all the pieces began to click together and he almost wanted to smack his headagainst the marble that covered the wall he was up against. She'd wanted to name their son after this man. He ran a hand over his hair and followed her quietly to the large display of lit candles in red glass jaws that were situated beneath a prayer for the souls of those departed from this world. He watched as she lit one of the spare wicks then guided it to an unlit candle and murmured softly, "Goodbye, Matthew." She blew the spare wick out then tucked her hands into her pocket.

It was silent then, as she stood watching the flame flicker and lick the sides of the glass jar before settling into a soft glow. She tilted her head then tucked her hair behind her ear, "Are you just going to stand there?" Aaron's attention stood on high alert and he tilted his head before she continued in her soft, shaky, heavily coated with emotion voice, "I may have had a nose bleed but I can still smell your cologne and after shave, Aaron." She turned her head and her eyes locked on his as she turned her body to face his, "What are you doing here?"

He stepped out of the shadows and shrugged, still staying several feet from her and still trying to give her distance. She eyed him carefully then took a step toward him, "You followed me?" He nodded and she visibly gulped then took another couple steps toward him, closing the distance enough that he could see the bright red smudges beneath her nose, "You didn't have to do that. I would've come home. I wasn't going to run away and disappear on you." He raised his eyebrows and she scuffed the toe of her boot along the edge of the carpet and the tile that laid beneath the rows of pews, "You don't need to always worry about me."

He finally broke his silence and fisted his hands inside his pockets, "I think I do, Emily." He glanced at the candle then back at her, "I think Matthew did too." Her eyes shot to his and he felt the hair on the back of his neck start to rise at her dark glare that she was sending him, "DO NOT talk to me about Matthew. You don't know anything about him." Aaron worked his jaw for a moment, "I would if you would tell me about him." She shook her head then looked down at her feet, "I don't like talking about it, Aaron. I've already had to hash it out enough. Go talk to Rossi." She turned and started away from him before Aaron spoke in a firm, clear tone, "So you'll tell Rossi about your past but you won't tell me." She froze mid-step and released a sigh before lifting her head and speaking in a tone that matched Aaron's, "I'm not marrying Rossi. I don't care if Rossi judges me for the stupid shit I did as a kid."

Aaron took long strides to catch up to her and stepped in front of her, locking eyes with her, "When have I ever judged you?"

Her heart began to race and she stared into his questioning eyes for several moments before nodding, "You'd judge me for this."

He shrugged, "Try me."

She shook her head, "Not here. I can't..." her voice cracked and she looked to the ceiling trying to keep her tears at bay, "I can't do this here." He nodded and reached forward, pulling her into his arms and embracing her, "Then we'll go home..." She shook her head again and he spoke softly by her ear, "Emily, listen to me, I'll take you anywhere you want to go, but I'm not dropping this. If we're going to get through this, I need to know what I'm up against."

She nodded weakly then spoke in a harsh whisper, "I want to see Jack." He grinned and leaned back, pushing her hair back and wanting to remind her of the time and that his boy was probably asleep, but seeing the look on her face he nodded, "Then we'll go see him." He took her hand, holding it gently and she squeezed it, "Thank you." He looked down at their hands then up into her eyes and echoed a sentiment that Derek Morgan had spoken earlier, "Always."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

He couldn't believe that they were actually here. In Jack's bedroom at Jessica's house, his small moon night light giving the room a dim yellow coloring as she sat on the edge of his son's bed and stroked her fingers through his hair gently. She took several slow breaths and tried not to think about the anger that had been on Haley's face as she'd listened to their request. She tried not to think about the warning that if the boy woke up, there'd be hell to pay. She instead focused on the downy softness of his sandy brown hair and how beautiful he was when he was asleep. She thought back on the child that she'd aborted at 15. It'd be over 18 now. She wondered about whether it would've been a boy or a girl; would it have had her eyes and John's hair; would it have been smart like her or a rebel like it's father; would it have found love in an adoptive home in Italy or back here in the states; would it have wanted to meet her?

She didn't realize she was crying until she felt Aaron cup her cheek and swipe his thumbs just under her eyes, "You ready?" She nodded and leaned forward, pressing a tender kiss to Jack's hair before standing and leaving the room. Haley was waiting for them by the front door, a disgruntled look on her face as the two adults passed her and headed back out into the snowy night.

The majority of the ride back to their apartment was silent, until she reached over and touched his knee, "Pull over here." Aaron looked around then pulled over to the small park off the side of the road. She stared out the windshield as he turned to face her. She glanced out the corner of her eyes and dropped her head, picking at her nails as she began to speak, "I met Matthew when I was 14. My mother had just gotten stationed in Rome and I didn't know anyone. First day of school, Matthew and I were the new kids. Fast friends." She licked her lips, "I met John when he moved there a year later. I was 15 and a year in the school hadn't really helped. I was still an outcast, this wiry little freak that none of the girls wanted to associate with and that none of the boys found attractive. John quickly made friends with Matthew and I. A few months later, I got into some trouble. Bad trouble that I couldn't tell my parents about and I didn't know what to do." She stroked her bump then spoke softly, "I was pregnant."

Aaron's heart stopped and he eyed her hands on her bump and opened his mouth to speak but she held a hand up to ask him to allow her to continue without interruption, "I was 15 and pregnant and absolutely terrified. I had no idea what I was going to do or how I was going to fix it." She bit her lip then looked at Aaron with glassy, tear filled eyes, "Matthew found a doctor." She shrugged, "He went with me. He held my hand and stayed in the room as the doctor..."

She trailed off and pushed her hand back through her hair, screwing up her bangs but not caring. She took a slow breath as she let the information settle in for Aaron before she swallowed and continued, "He was my friend. He was the first boy to ever make me feel like I was good enough to deserve a friend and to be loved." She watched as Aaron's eyes stayed on the bump then lifted to her face, his own dark eyes glassy with unshed tears that matched hers, "You never told me that you-"

"Aaron, I didn't want to. I didn't want you to think that it would ever be a possibility with us. I was 15. I was dumb and scared. You know my mother. If Matthew hadn't helped me then it would've been my mother having me do it." She shook her head, "There was no other option." She took his hands, "Aaron-"

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

She rolled her lips into her mouth at his clearly hurt demeanor and she thought for a moment before shaking her head side to side slowly, "No."

He pulled his hands back, "You would've kept this from me? For the rest of our lives?"

She felt her tears begin to slick down her cheeks as she looked at him, "Would knowing really have been that important? Does knowing about my abortion change anything, Aaron?" He was silent and she asked again in a near sob, "Does it?"

Aaron shrugged and shook his head, "I don't know." He swallowed, "I honestly don't know. You expect absolutely honesty from me. No secrets... and yet you would've kept this from me; forever. I never would've known if he hadn't died."

She dropped her head and nodded as she stared at her hands, "Aaron, please... please try to understand. This isn't something that I like discussing..."

He shook his head, "I didn't like discussing my secrets. I don't like talking about the shit I've been through Emily... but I did it. I did it because I wanted to be honest with you about my past and here you are, keeping secrets from me. _BIG_ secrets." He slammed his hand on the steering wheel for a moment and dropped his head back to the head rest before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, "I don't know where this leaves us, Emily."

She nodded and started to reach for the ring on her finger. He covered her hand with his, "Don't." She looked up at him and he shook his head, "Just because I'm not sure about things right now, doesn't mean I want to throw everything we have away." He rested his other hand on her bump, "We do have a future together, Emily. I'm just not sure about the details of that future."

She blinked as another tear slipped from her lashes and dropped onto their joined hands. She couldn't help but feel like for the second time that week, that she'd lost a man that she loved so dearly.

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><p><strong>Oh no! What's going to happen? Are they going to get back together before Foyet? If you want to give me your feedback and tell me what you think, then please type me a review in that cool little box then click that cool little blue button down there! I love to hear from you, and if you have anything you want to see happen, that's welcome too! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>


	29. 4x18 Omnivore

A/N: I'm fairly certain that I'm in the dog house with... well, probably ALL of you. And I'm completely accepting of that fact. I am a total piece of $hit for not posting this sooner. That being said, so much has changed on FF since I've been gone. I'm tremendously sorry for missing these things and I hope that this will help ease the pain a little.

**To my incredible reviewers who haven't stopped loving me ****and reviewing (Psycho 7913, LolaGrant, dcatt, x-MJ-x, AlpineHolly, Rugbygirrl, charmony, emmasong95, renee, guest, HPforever-after, greengirl82, NicknHotchfan, SSAEmilyHotchner, CriminallyCastle, Aaron'Dimples'Hotchner, sarahb2007, KLa):** You guys are phenomenal. I love you so much and thank you for sticking with me trough my long absence. This is for you and so are the next ones I'm in the process of doing too. I'm always excited to see your reviews and I'm always excited to hear ideas and input that you want to share.

To Michelle: Loyal beta, amazing friend, and good listener. I owe you so much. Thank you.

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**__ I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

* * *

><p>"<strong>There is no armor against fate." - James Shirley<strong>

336 hours.

It had been that long since he'd been able to sleep in her arms in their home.

20, 160 minutes.

Each minute seemed to pass longer than the one before it.

1, 209, 600 seconds.

Seconds felt like days now. Nothing seemed to make the time go faster.

He didn't know how he was supposed to cope with this.

Nothing seemed to ease the pain.

Late nights at the office.

Glasses of bourbon and whiskey.

Endless consults.

Nothing seemed to ease the pain in his chest when he thought about the hell that his life had devolved into. He swirled the bourbon in his glass and looked out into the bull pen with dark, glassy eyes. He got lost in the thoughts of what she would be doing, what she'd be wearing, what she'd smell like. A soft knock brought him back to the moment and he looked at the door before calling softly, "Come in." The door opened slowly, creaking lightly, before a familiar form filled the space and held up a large brown bag of food. Lips parted in a slow smile on both faces and he set the glass of liquor down on the solid wood desk before gesturing to the couch.

"What are you doing here?" He stood and headed to the sofa, pulling a long coffee table over and moving the decorative books to the floor. He began to empty the paper bag quickly and inhaled the delicious scent of the food while putting the containers in two distinct separations. "I know you haven't been eating and I know you've been staying late here. I've had the janitors calling me asking me if they should clean around you while you sleep." He laughed and threw the brown bag away then turned around.

She smiled wider and shrugged, "I keep telling them that it's none of my business but they don't seem to want to accept that." She tilted her head, "I think they're trying to get us back together." He rolled his eyes lightly and sat down on the couch, "Why are you here, Haley?"

The blonde took a long deep breath then sat down next to him, folding one leg underneath herself as she faced him, "I heard about the Reaper." His blood ran cold and he nodded, "Yeah. We just got home yesterday from Boston. I can't believe that we- that I didn't see it sooner." He ran a hand over his hair then looked at her, "Still doesn't explain why you're here."

She swallowed and licked her lips, "Jack wanted to see you." She shrugged, "I took him to your place around 7. Emily was there. She told me about the Reaper, about Boston." She dropped her head, "She said you two hadn't been together in about two weeks. Something about a fight over secrets and that you had been staying here." She reached forward and rested her hand on Aaron's, "You want to talk about it?"

Aaron shook his head, "Not particularly."

Haley tilted her head, "Whose secret was it?"

Aaron sighed, "Hers."

She nodded slowly and licked her lips, "Well, I... I wish I knew what to say to make this not so difficult." Aaron gave a soft bitter laugh, "There's nothing you can say. In a year and a half, I've lost two women I love, two families. There's no way to fix this."

Haley laughed softly, "You really think she's not going to take you back? Aaron, she loves you. Of course she'll take you back." She squeezed his hand, "You should've seen her with Jack. They're really getting close." She leaned forward, "She knows she messed up. That much is evident. Don't push her away. I'm a woman and all my instincts are telling me that you two need each other. This Foyet thing is clearly taking a toll on you, and she doesn't want to go through the pregnancy alone." She sat back and reached to the table to grab a container with salad inside it and then poured the dressing over it before picking up her plastic fork and pointing it at him, "Call her."

Aaron observed her, watched her begin to crunch into her salad then grabbed his container with a cheeseburger and fries in it. He stared down into his fries and twirled one lightly before dropping it, "It's not some small secret, Haley. This was big." He rubbed his hands on his thighs, spreading the slight sheen of grease from the fry on his suit pants then groaned, "It was something she never plannedon telling me. She wanted me to be completely honest then she just-"

"I slept with my accounting professor."

He stopped and stared at her, "Excuse me?" She shrugged and licked her lips nervously, "When I was 19. It was freshman year in college and I was failing accounting." She sighed and swallowed hard, "I slept with him to pass the class. I never told you. You married me. We had Jack. It never affected our marriage. You never knew and it never became an issue." She paused and reached over, taking his hand and threading their fingers together, "Is this really something that is a deal breaker for you? Is her secret so bad that you don't want to be there with her and the twins as they grow? Is that really the case, Aaron? Or are you bitter that someone else knew before you did?"

His silence was deafening. No. Emily's secret wasn't that serious that he would give up his future with her but it still hurt knowing that she had revealed it to Rossi first; then had intentionally never planned on telling him. He looked up at Haley and reached over, taking her other hand in his, "How do you always manage to do this?" She chuckled and rolled her eyes, "Come on, Aaron. I've been with you for over two decades. I know you better than you know yourself." She touched his cheek lightly with her fingertips, "I know what you look like when you're in love. I know you love her. Everyone around you does. Don't screw this up with her because not many people are going to want to tolerate your ass." She smiled when he laughed then she nodded to their food on the table, "Ok so… eat up and tell me about this new guy. The Reaper."

"I thought Emily told you about him at the apartment." He smirked as she glared playfully at him, "Do I need to repeat the whole speech of how well I know you?" He shook his head and popped a fry into his mouth and spoke while chewing, "God no. I hope I never have to hear that again. Ever again." She smacked his chest, "Ass." He grinned and she nudged his shoulder, "Come on. Talk to me." He glanced sideways at her, debating his choices then picked up another fry from the white tray.

"He shoots and stabs his victims. He likes to spend time torturing them, especially the younger females." He pulled the fry apart then dropped the two pieces into the Styrofoam tray, "I had him, Haley. I was looking right at him. I talked to him. We shook hands." He rested his elbows on his knees, "I had him and he got away. He escaped jail and he's free. More people are going to die because I didn't stop him."

She reached over and touched his hands, covering both of his with hers, "That is not your fault, Aaron. You caught him. He got away. You aren't to blame. There's nothing you could've done." She squeezed his hands, "They won't ever blame you. If he kills anyone else, it will not be blood on your hands, Aaron Hotchner." She blinked as her eyes grew glassy, "It is not your fault and I don't want you to let it eat you up inside. Do you hear me?"

He nodded and looked at her with glassy eyes, "Thank you, Haley." She knitted her eyebrows together, "What? For what?" He turned his hands over and gave her a supportive squeeze, "For knowing exactly what I needed to hear." She grinned, "I think Emily would do the same. You know, I think she's the only other woman I know that keeps your ass in check, Aaron."

He laughed and nodded, "Oh yeah?" she cupped his jaw firmly and gave his jaw a slight squeeze, "She's perfect for you. I can't think of anybody else I'd want to be a part of Jack's life, as well as yours." She took a deep breath, "I trust her with our son's life. I know she'd protect him as if he was hers. She's good for you both, Aaron." He licked his lips and she patted his cheek gently, "Just think about it, okay? I know she's going to be waiting for you."

He swallowed and gave a firm nod, "I will. I'll think about it."

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><p><strong>DUN DUN DUNNNN... Will they fix things? Will Hotch swallow his pride? If you think you know or want to give me your feedback and tell me what you think, then please type me a review in that cool little box then click that cool little blue button down there! I love to hear from you, and if you have anything you want to see happen, that's welcome too! Thanks! :) xx-babygurl0506<strong>


	30. 4x21 A Shade of Gray

A/N: Can you believe this? I guess i'm really on a roll huh? LOL JK. I'm laid up with an injury so I'm catching up for you guys. I have a new FB page. You can find the link in my profile. Please go like me on FB. I love interacting with you guys and I would LOVE to hear from you, even if you're not on here.

To **greengirl82, AlpineHolly, Chofis Garcia, emilyhotchnerforever, SSAEmilyHotcher, Guest, Celina79, HGRHfan35, SouthunLady, Cinnamonfa, Psycho 7913, sarahb2007, charmony, HPforever-after, KLa, and CriminallyCastle:** You guys are what it's all about. I tried to reply to all of you. if I missed you, I deeply apologize. I love hearing from you and I know you all understand how much you mean to me.

To the absolutely ASTOUNDING 126 of you that are susbscribed, both old and new: I cannot even begin to tell you how FLOORED I am that you all like this that much. There's still a long way to go but I hope you all will come along for the ride with me, and I hope to hear from more of you too. Don't be shy, I don't bite unless you ask me to.

To Naomi and Mara: My betas for the beginning section of this chapter: Darlings, you astound me and I love you all so so so dearly.

Finally, this chapter is based on **4x21 "A Shade of Gray"**.

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**__ I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

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><p><strong>Family is the most important thing in the world. - Princess Diana<strong>

Family.

It was the core of the case and the thing that everyone had seemed to have been fighting to save and preserve.

It's what led him here.

He stared at the door to the apartment that they had shared before...

_Before I started acting like a jealous ass._

He sighed and paced in front of the door for a moment before raising his hand to knock, then backing down again. He'd done a fantastic job of screwing this whole situation up. How was he supposed to apologize to her, ask her to forgive him for shutting them all out? How was he supposed to expect to be welcomed back into her life, and the two lives growing inside her? He scrubbed his hand over his face and hair and knocked once on the door. He waited patiently at the door as he thought back on their case, the case that had led to him being here. He'd watched her through the case. He'd watched how she dealt with this horrific situation, one brother killing the other and then shoving plane parts down his throat. He'd watched the color fade in her face as they had learned about the children, the two previously kidnapped boys and this new one. He knew if anyone would take it hard, it'd be the two women agents on his team.

It'd be the two new mothers.

He leaned against the wall by the door and closed his eyes as he relived those moments as he read the coroner's report and felt his stomach lurch over Emily being in the room with that boy, over his growing children being exposed to that monster of a child. His Adam's apple bobbed as he came to the sudden realization that he'd allowed her to be in the line of danger more than once since their fight. Between Foyet, the arsonists, and the multiple personality unsub killing on spring break; he'd allowed her to be in the line of fire and he'd been nowhere to protect her. Guilt ate at him from the inside out and he felt his stomach lurch at the possibility that he could've lost them.

She still hadn't' answered the door and it wasn't looking like she was going to.

_Can you blame her? Can you honestly blame her for protecting herself after you so easily crushed her for decisions she made once upon a time?_

He turned away from the door and began to head toward the elevator, completely dejected and resolved to the fact that he'd made his proverbial bed and now he had to sleep in it. The soft sound of foot falls coming from the elevator sounded through the hallway and he moved to the side to avoid colliding with the stranger before the steps stopped and he heard a familiar and quiet sigh.

"What are you doing here?"

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She hadn't been home.

It'd been a rough case and she needed some comfort.

Basic comfort that she knew she couldn't get from anyone other than the people she cared most about.

She'd called her ob/gyn after arriving back in D.C. and had made an irregular request. She wanted to see her babies, she needed to see them.

An hour later, she'd been lying on the table and had calmed dramatically by the sight of her infant children, in her womb, sharing her life. She'd traced the figures on the screen with her fingertips, her fingers brushing over the images of their heads, their hands, their backs, their tiny noses and mouths. They were her only solace now. They were the only thing that could bring her comfort now that Aaron had so clearly made his stand on their relationship obvious. He wasn't forgiving her past anytime soon and she'd come to embrace and accept that. She wasn't going to try to pretend that she was anything less than what she was. Her decisions had brought her to this place in her life. All her decisions.

She swiped at the tears that were gliding down her face and accepted the printed out images and DVD of her children. The memory of the soft thumping of their heartbeats would put her to sleep tonight, she knew it. She'd go to bed with her hand over her stomach and their soft heartbeats playing in her mind.

She watched the numbers of the elevator car going up as she massaged at the back of her neck. Perhaps a warm shower would help ease the tension in her neck. It'd been one of those cases where she'd been wound tight and she needed to take some time to relax and rejuvenate. The elevator dinged it's arrival and she stepped off, heading down the hallway toward the apartment. Her heart dropped as she reminded herself that eventually, she'd have to move out again and take her children with her. This was his home. She was no longer a wanted guest.

Her eyes glanced at the man heading toward her in the hallway and she swore that her heart stopped. Her body went cold at the realization that he was walking toward her, closing in.

10 feet.

9 feet.

8 feet.

She took a slow breath in as his name echoed in her mind.

_Aaron._

7 feet.

6 feet.

5 feet.

She swallowed hard and licked the corner of her lips before clamping her teeth down lightly.

4.

3.

2.

He was close enough that she could almost feel his heartache radiating off of him and she blinked as her eyes grew glassy and spoke quietly once he was even with her, "What are you doing here?"

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He lifted his head at the soft question and he felt his pulse quicken.

Her wide, glassy gaze, parted red lips, and maternity glow made her look like a vision, even in the cheap, overhead lighting that was so unflattering for the general population. He shrugged and tucked his hands in his coat pocket before he dropped his eyes, avoiding her gaze, "I came to see you. All of you." His eyes glanced pointedly at her belly then he looked away, "This case-"

"Aaron." She held her hand up and shook her head. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to be feeling in this moment. Elation? Anger? Relief? Panic? A part of her was thrilled that he was here, that he was even attempting to reach out to her. The other part, the larger and often more logical part of her, was hesitant to welcome him back into their lives. She wasn't thinking of herself anymore. There were children involved. Two children that were still growing inside their mother's womb, and one little boy she loved as if he was her own. She picked at her thumb nail, the metal of the apartment key brushing her skin as she glanced up at him through her lashes. "Do you... Do you want to come in?"

It was almost painful for her to ask that. She hated where they'd allowed their relationship to progress to. On a professional level, they'd stayed cordial. It was tense but polite and no extra niceties were involved. This? Their personal relationship? It was in taters and she knew that him being here was a sign that he wanted to try to begin mending. The question wasn't really if they could begin to mend. She wanted to repair this, if only to save the twins she carried from not having their father around. The questions regarding their resolution would be how much of their relationship was left to save or if any was left at all. She nodded at her bag and licked the corner of her lip before murmuring softly, "I have... I have a DVD of their most recent check-up, if you're not too busy."

He inclined his head in silent agreement and murmured softly, "I'd like that." She smiled slowly and nodded, "I think we all would. I think we all need it." She lifted her eyes to his and inhaled slowly as she fully took in his appearance. This wasn't the man that had decided her secrets might be too much for their relationship to bear. The man in front of her was the man she'd loved all along; brooding, handsome, slightly awkward. She swallowed thickly, her mouth feeling dry like cotton, and dropped her eyes before she walked to the apartment door and opened it with her key. Her eyebrows knit together for a moment before she turned to him, "Why didn't you let yourself in?"

He had his hands tucked deep into his pockets, his shoulders hunched slightly as he stared at his shoes then lifted his face marginally to look at her, "I didn't feel like I'd be welcomed to do so." Her heart broke just a little for him and she felt her walls begin to crumble at the sight of this powerful man, so easily reduced to shame. She reached out and took his hand timidly. The hall wasn't the right place to discuss this, nor was it the right place to be sharing these moments. These moments were private, for them and them alone, and she refused to continue anything until they were locked away in the privacy of their apartment.

They walked into the apartment together and she shut the door then locked it. His hand was warm and heavy in hers and she studied the way they fit together for several moments before she spoke, "This is your apartment, Aaron. Your name is on the lease. Your furniture is here. You own it. You were always welcome here. If anyone shouldn't be welcome here, it's me." He shook his head and began to open his mouth but she continued, "I'll be out as soon as I can. I just need to find a new place."

She turned to head to the living room and moved to release his hand when his thumb brushed along her pulse and his grip tightened gently, "I don't want you to. I don't want you to move out. I don't want this to be over. It's taken too long to get here and frankly, Emily, I'm not ready to give up on this just yet." He glanced at their hands then up at her face, "Can I see the video?"

She gave a slight nod then breathed a soft sigh of relief as his hand released hers and allowed her to go to the TV. In minutes, they were sitting on the sofa, a whole cushion of space between them, as they watched the DVD of their children. Two soft thumps were resounding in the video and she knitted her fingers together over her bump, silently taking comfort from the bump. Aaron glanced at her then the screen. His chest was tight with emotion and he felt his eyes glaze over as the video ended. He looked at Emily and watched her as she stared at her hands on her bump. He scooted over to her, slowly, giving her time to move away. Then, once he was close enough, his hand covered hers and he spoke softly to her, "I was a jackass."

She nodded.

The corner of his mouth upturned a bit and he continued, "I made assumptions, I said things that were out of line..." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and he nodded, "Way out of line..." She nodded again, this time her lips turning upward slightly. His smile grew a fraction and when her eyes met his the next time, he gave her hands a gentle squeeze, "And I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that, and you have every right not to-"

Her fingertips covered his lips as she turned one hand over on her stomach and gripped his hand tenderly, "Thank you." He knew that this moment of forgiveness was big. It was the first step of many that would lead them back to being a happy family. He would still have to work his way of the dog house, and he knew he had a long way to go; but this was certainly a step in the right direction.

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><p><strong>So, was it everything you hoped it'd be? I hope so. Lots of forgiveness, talking, hand holding, and *gasp* maybe even a little M-rated action is coming in the next couple chapters. I hope you guys will stay with me and I hope to hear from all you through that adorable little box with the blue button just beneath this note. - xoxo, babygurl0506<strong>


	31. 4x24 Amplification

**A/N: **You guys are awesome. The reviews you've been leaving have been exactly what I've been needing to get myself going again, and I really think you're going to like this chapter and the next one. We are almost at Foyet, and I think that chapter is one of the longest ones I've ever done but this one is just short and sweet.** This one is M-RATED. Nothing graphic but still not okay for kiddie eyes. You've been warned.**

**To Cinnamonfa, greengirl82, SouthunLady, CrimeFan23, SSAEmilyHotchner, rmpcmfan, smilin steph, HGRHfan35, dcatt, charmony, emmasong95, emilyhotchnerforever, HPforever-after, and Celina79: **Thank you guys again for the support and feedback. It means so much more than you will ever be able to understand. I love and appreciate all of you.

**To Naomi: **My pinch-hitting beta. Thank you for everything doll.

Spoilers for** 4x24 Amplification.**

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**__ I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

* * *

><p><strong>Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had. -Unknown<strong>

"Aaron."

He hummed softly as her hands ran through his dark locks, giving a slight tug.

He'd forgotten how good this felt.

Holding her close.

Kissing her mouth.

Feeling her skin.

Hearing her voice in that low timbre she saved especially for him.

He lifted his head from her chest, his lips releasing one soft peak with a 'pop' as she gasped softly and reached for him. He'd never tire of seeing her like this; an expanse of ivory skin with midnight hair and cherry red lips that were so angelic by day and so sinful by night. He covered her lips with his own as she arched up against his hard body. He traced a hand down her side and over her hip and thigh, his fingers finding the apex of her thighs gently and smoothing over the wet folds. She gasped into the kiss and he breathed a soft laugh against her mouth. Her body rocked against him over and over as his name dropped from her lips in soft sighs and appreciative murmurs of what he was doing that felt 'oh so right' and of what she wanted 'harder, faster, more'.

His hand slipped away after a few minutes, much to the displeasure of the woman beneath him before he lined himself up and slid into her in one long, smooth, gentle stroke. Two sighs of completion sounded in the silence of their bedroom and he looked down into those dark eyes that he loved so much that sometimes it hurt. He ran a hand over her hair then traced her lips with his thumb as he began to move in and out of her in practiced, easy strokes. He murmured her name softly and bent his head, kissing and licking along her pulse as she gripped at his back and shoulders. His hands pinned her hips to the bed as he got a little more forceful, his thrusts quickening as he moaned her name against her neck. The sharp pants of his name from her mouth sounded through his bedroom and he lifted his head to look at her. Their eyes connected and he swallowed hard as he saw every second of their future together flashing through her eyes. He was close. So close to the precipice. He heard a sharp gasp from his partner and knew she was right there with him. He reached a hand down to her folds to get her there when she gave a slight cough.

His movements froze and he looked at her in concern.

She coughed again, harder this time, her body shaking with the effort.

What the hell is going on?

He shifted back from her and helped her sit up; one of his hands finding her back while the other reached to the bedside table and grabbed a glass of water. He handed it to her and helped her take a sip before she coughed again and the water splashed around them. He stared at the white bedspread and frowned at seeing pink in the water. He turned around as Emily coughed into her hands again then pulled her hands back and stared at the red blood that covered them. Her eyes met his and she panted slightly, her eyes watering. He went to reach for her then spotted the dark lesion on her shoulder, another on her breast, and another on her stomach. They hadn't been there a second ago, had they? He froze as she coughed twice more, her hand seeking his as tears slid down her cheeks. He stroked her cheeks and shook his head in confusion.

She'd taken the cipro.

She hadn't been exposed.

She was supposed to be fine.

His heart stopped and he went to touch her bump, but his hands found a gaping hole, their two children lying in the hollowed out hole that was Emily's stomach. He looked up at her and she sobbed softly as she whimpered, "Why didn't you protect us, Aaron? Why did you give up on us?" He couldn't stop himself from weeping, crying as she reached up and cupped his cheek weakly as she murmured to him with her last breath, "I love you."

Her hand fell limp from his cheek as the light in her eyes went dim. He cried her name loudly and grasped her shoulders, shaking her, holding her. He reached for his children but they were too far gone. He looked back at her and dropped his cheek to her chest, crying her name and holding her close. His sobs quieted as he heard her voice again, soft but getting louder.

Aaron?

Aaron?

AARON.

He blinked his eyes open and found himself back in his living room, the covers over his body all tangled around his legs and hips. He was wet with sweat and his heart was racing. He jolted as a soft hand touched his shoulder and he turned to face the person, his eyes tracing up the body, taking in her lean legs, the curve of her bump, the swells of her breasts, then her bright eyes and red mouth. "Aaron? Aaron, what's wrong? I heard you screaming my name all the way in the bedroom? Are you okay?" He frowned and looked her over, before letting his hands touch her sides, her cheeks, her bump. He ran his hands over that skin, relishing each flitter of movement from within. He looked up at her and she sighed softly before kneeling in front of him, "Aaron, you're crying."

He reached out and brought her to his chest, hugging her tightly and loving that soft gasp that was emitted from her throat at the sudden movement. She wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back soothingly. "It's okay, Aaron. I'm fine. I'm here." He rocked her body slightly and buried his face in her neck, crying against her skin and breathing in the scent he had thought he'd lost forever. He leaned back after several minutes and sighed as he stared at her. Suddenly, words like grateful, appreciative and thankful just weren't doing justice to describe how absolutely ecstatic he was that she was in his life. She reached up and wiped at his tears, her thumb brushing the tracks away from his cheekbones, and for the first time he noticed that she was crying too.

He cupped her cheeks in both his hands and cleared his throat before he began to speak, "I thought I lost you." Her eyebrows knitted together and he shook his head, "No I was almost positive. It felt so real. You were there. You were beautiful then all of a sudden, it was..." He licked his lips, "It was horrible. You, the babies... I couldn't handle it, Emily. I couldn't handle losing you. I'm not ready to."

She chuckled lightly and granted him a close lipped smile, "Me either." She nodded and looked at his blankets then stood up, "Come on." She held her hand out to him and wiggled her fingers lightly, "This is stupid, Aaron. I don't expect you to sleep on the couch. I don't care how guilty you feel. You belong in bed. With me and with our babies. We've been waiting for you to come join us. We missed you. I missed you... and based on what I've just witnessed, I think you need it as much as we do." She tilted her head, "Please, Aaron." Her warm smile and soft hand made all the promises that her mouth couldn't, and he found that it wasn't all that hard to accept and appreciate what he'd just been offered.

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><p><strong>So... Foyet is next. I hope you guys will stay with me and I hope to hear from all you through that adorable little box with the blue button just beneath this note. - xoxo, babygurl0506<strong>


	32. 4x25, 4x26, 5x01 FOYET

**A/N: **We made it you guys! We're at the Foyet chapter. This is a M rated chapter, purely based on the graphic material. It's not really the kind of M chapter I know you guys like but I hope you'll enjoy this one none the less.

To ** .7, greengirl82, Cinnamonfa, Celina79, charmony, Rugbygirrl, emilyhotchnerforever, HGRHfan35, dcatt, HPforever-after, sarahb2007, rmpcmfan, NicknHotchfan, smilin steph:** You guys are amazing. I know I didn't get to reply to all of you, and I feel horrible for that, but I love hearing from all of you and I hope that this chapter lives up to everything you guys expected.

**To my beta for this chapter, Gabi: **Thank you so much for the help doll. I loved chatting with you and I appreciate your help so much.

**This chapter is based on 3 episodes so spoiler alerts. 4x25 "To Hell..." , 4x26 "...And Back" , 5x01 "Nameless, Faceless"**

_**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**__ I'd love to hear where all of you feel this should continue to go. Any ideas or themes you feel like throwing my way or anything in particular you wish to see, is always welcome. I love that some of my readers are able to look at the chapters and see their own input reflected, if you'd like to be one of them, don't be shy. :D_

**Disclaimer in Chapter 1!**

* * *

><p><strong>Sometimes there are no words, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened that day. Sometimes you do everything right, everything exactly right, and still you feel like you failed. Did it need to end that way? Could something have been done to prevent the tragedy in the first place? <strong>**89 murders at the pig farm. The deaths of Mason and Lucas Turner and make 91 lives snuffed out. Kelly Shane will go home and try to recover, to reconnect with her family, but she'll never be a child again. William Hightower, who gave his leg for his country, gave the rest of himself to avenge his sister's murder. That makes 93 lives forever altered, not counting family and friends in the small town of Sarnia, Ontario, who thought that monsters didn't exist until they learned that they spent their lives with one. And what about my team? How many more times will they be able to look into the abyss, how many times before they won't ever recover the pieces of themselves that this job takes? Like I said, sometimes there are no words, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened that day. Sometimes, the day just...ends. - Aaron Hotchner**

_I told you to make a deal. I told you that if..._

_... team can't stop me. Nothing can stop me. This is all your fault, Aaron. You..._

_If you think that this is over, that I'm done with this now, you are wrong..._

_... Wake up, Aaron. I'm not done with you, yet._

Everything felt heavy, his chest ached and his skin felt painfully numb, while his insides burned like they'd been ignited on fire. He felt the dull ache in his stomach, and he felt like he wanted to vomit from the sudden onslaught of pain as a pressure was added to it. He cried out sharply and tried to curl his body in to protect it, but his body was too weak to stop it. He forced his eyes open and felt his breath catch in his throat as he came face to face with George Foyet.

"Welcome back, Aaron."

Aaron groaned and gritted his jaw as the man pressed harder on the wound before Aaron cried out again and let out a soft sob of pain. Foyet laughed softly and tilted his head. "Does that hurt?" His eyes narrowed and darkened as he lifted his knife and traced down along the open slice that ran just under the left side of Aaron's ribs. "Do you feel that all the way down? Deep inside you, Aaron?" He chuckled, lifted his knife from the wound, and trailed it along Aaron's skin, to just above his belly button. Aaron's breathing became shallower as Foyet looked him in the eye then forcefully shoved the knife into his body. The bark that escaped Aaron's throat was sharp and he threw his head back as he felt the knife drag upward under the bottom of his sternum and was pulled out. Aaron panted lightly and swallowed hard as he felt Foyet shift and Aaron waited for another blow.

He forced his mind far away, as far away as he could. He wanted to picture something that wouldn't let him feel this. He needed to picture something that could comfort him as he stared his own mortality in the face, at the hands of the man who he'd pledged to catch. He pictured Jack, swinging on a swing and laughing with his mother. He pictured birthdays, school assemblies, sports games... He felt the knife plunge into his chest, just under his collarbone and drag along to the top of his sternum; not as deep but just as painful. He gritted his jaw and felt a tear glide down his cheek as Foyet laughed and smacked him across the cheek with the back of his hand. Aaron's focus turned to Emily, their babies; then his body went cold.

Emily.

The babies.

Foyet.

Aaron opened his eyes and glanced at Foyet, watching the man as he traced the tip of the knife along his skin, plotting his next entry wound. Aaron's eyes darted around. She wasn't here. There was no evidence of her on the floor. His heart rate began to speed up, and then the pain became too much and he felt blackness close in on his vision and his body slumped to the side. He felt like he was underwater. He couldn't hear anything except the rushing of his blood in his ears and he relaxed into the carpeting.

_I think I'm going to go home with PG. She's not taking this well. She needs someone to be with her, and I don't think Kevin will be able to talk her down the way I will. I'll be home tomorrow afternoon. I promise. _

Her words echoed in his head and he was comforted by that. She wasn't home. She was safe, miles away tucked into the eclectic apartment of the tech analyst that had seen almost too much while she'd been in Canada assisting the team. The blonde analyst had gone above and beyond for the team this time and he knew she was having a hard time dealing, especially after watching their bed-ridden unsub be shot. He had known, the moment he'd seen the way Garcia was shaking and in shock that Emily wouldn't be coming home with him that night.

They'd come a long way in the span of a week and a half. They'd taken to talking about their issues a little more. Aaron had explained why he'd been so hurt, and Emily had in turn explained that perhaps she could've handled the entire situation better than she had. They'd discussed his nightmare, how he couldn't handle missing out on her life, and the lives of their children. She'd laughed softly and said that she never would've allowed it. Her pride be damned. It was a slow progression. They still had a long way to go, but they'd made progress. He felt the weight on his body lift and suddenly a tidal wave of pain washed over him, bringing him back to the present. His eyes opened and he watched as Foyet stood over him, the knife dripping precious rubies of blood onto the floor. He panted softly as he looked down at Aaron, then a slow smile spread across his face as he took in his handiwork.

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The back of her hand pressed to her mouth as she relinquished control of the scene to the FBI techs and police. She made it outside the apartment in time to throw up into a garbage pail and coughed hard as she doubled over. The heel of her hand pressed into the corner of her mouth as she wiped at her lips and caught her breath. She braced her hand against the wall in the hallway and panted softly as her eyes slipped shut and she willed her tears away. She'd catalogued everything in the apartment. Nothing seemed out of place to her, the only thing that was slightly off was in his address book. She closed her eyes and swallowed down the second rush of bile she felt building in her throat.

_What the fuck had happened here?_

She accepted a paper towel from one of the techs and wiped her hand and mouth clean then threw it away in the garbage before stepping back inside. She eyed his sofa, her mind recalling so many memories of them as a family on it and her hands shook as she tucked her hair behind her ear. He needed to be okay; he needed to be safe. She felt her stomach lurch again as she passed the sofa and looked down at the pool of blood on the white carpeting. She licked the corner of her mouth and chewed on her lip, her teeth tugging and pulling at the tender flesh until she tasted blood and felt a slight sore developing there. She ran her hand over her face before one of the techs gestured to her. She walked over and nodded as they spoke about having collected samples of the blood and liquid from the shattered glass. They hadn't found the bullet from the wall, but they were still looking. She nodded her thanks and jolted as her phone rang. Garcia's smiling face was presented on the screen and she had no trouble excusing herself from the tech as she answered her phone with worry building tight in her chest. "Talk to me, Garcia."

As Garcia spoke of the John Doe with Morgan's credentials, Emily frowned and shook her head. None of this was making sense. Aaron missing, the blood pool, Morgan's creds on a John Doe. Her heart sank as her eyes shut and she felt everything in her shut down for a moment as she murmured to Garcia with sudden bone chilling clarity, "The Reaper. Foyet took Morgan's creds." Garcia asked her a question but Emily's mind was already working four steps ahead of the blonde. She needed to get to the hospital. She needed to see him. She needed to be absolutely certain that Aaron, her Aaron, was going to be fine. She needed to see his chest moving, needed to feel his warm hand in hers, needed to hear the reassuring beeping on the machine signifying his still beating heart. Her priority right now was ensuring his safety. Protocol be damned. She needed to get to him.

"What hospital did you say again?" She listened carefully as Garcia spoke and very nearly hung up on the blonde as she began to make her leave. "I'll call you with an update when I get there." She hung up and raced out of the building to her FBI issue SUV. She was out of her spot, lights and sirens on within what felt like milliseconds to the brunette. There was no time to wait, no time to sit and think about what she was doing. She needed to get the hell out of there. _St. Sebastian's. _She said silent prayers to each and every deity she could think of, her hands gripping the leather steering wheel with ferocious strength and her knuckles went white with the effort. She prayed in every language she knew, bargained with every deity she could think of; nothing seemed like enough. Nothing would ever seem like enough if she lost him. She sobbed as she drove, her eyes watering and one hand swiping angrily at the tears as she maneuvered through traffic.

The hospital came into her view and she hit the gas harder. She was so close. He was right there. Her hands shook as she parked and ran into the building. Her heels clicked on the cement as she neared the entrance and she heard only the sound of her heart thundering in her ears as she entered the building. Her badge was out and in the face of the woman behind the desk before she could speak and the woman calmly informed her of the room and floor number as Emily tried to get her breathing under control. 381. Room 381. She glanced at the elevator and quickly got on. Her body leaned to the wall of the elevator as it began its climb. She cleared her throat as the doors opened and she made her way to the nurses' station in purposeful, long strides. "I'm with the FBI. I'm here for Agent Aaron Hotchner. I believe you have him listed as a John Doe." The nurse nodded and pointed at the room in the very corner of the hallway. Emily approached it quickly, practically running down whoever was in her way. She stopped at the door and stared at him in the bed.

Oh, Aaron...

She sniffled slightly then noticed the doctor in the room. "Are you his doctor?"

The woman turned and nodded. "I am. You are?"

Emily flashed her credentials with a tight-lipped smile and nodded. "SSA Emily Prentiss, I'm with the FBI."

The doctor nodded. "He's clearly not Agent Morgan. Does he-"

"He's the supervisor of our team. SSAIC Aaron Hotchner." Emily watched as notations were made and she cleared her throat. "I don't have any of his emergency information on hand, but you can call Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia at this number." Emily handed over a standard issue business card with the FBI headquarters number on it. "And she'll be able to provide you with whatever you need." She nodded at Aaron. "How is he?"

"He was stabbed nine times, but no major arteries were hit. It's a miracle he's alive."

Emily nodded and swallowed hard as she silently thanked all the deities she'd prayed to for hearing her pleas. Her voice was quiet as she spoke and stepped into the room, standing by the bottom of his bed, her hands just itching to touch him. She took a few more steps, standing next to the side of his bed with her hands knit in front of her as she picked nervously at her nails. "When will he wake up?"

"Anesthesia should wear off within the hour. He's bound to be out of it."

Emily nodded her understanding as she looked at Aaron and took a slow breath in. She looked down at him as she fought to get control of her emotions again, knowing that she was doing a poor job of it. "May I stay here?"

"Of course."

Emily's body nearly went limp at the affirmative answer and she gave a weak nod and smile. "Thank you." She looked around and grabbed a chair, pulling it close to his bed and taking a seat. She looked at all the machines keeping him alive with wide eyes and she sighed heavily. Her hands immediately sought his out on the bed and she cupped it gently. "I'm here, Aaron. I'm here. You're safe now, I promise. Nothing is going to happen to you." She ran her thumb along his skin and couldn't stop the whisper soft murmur as she looked his body over, "What has he done to you?"

"Agent Prentiss?"

Emily turned and stood as the doctor returned. "We've got all his information sent over. Can you just verify a couple things for me?"

She inhaled deeply. "Absolutely." She accepted the chart from the doctor and looked it over, her eyes pausing as she saw something that could help the team on Aaron's chart. She almost chuckled at the irony. He was stabbed nine times, out cold from anesthesia and he still was somehow able to contribute to the case. She glanced at him and then headed out. He was safe. She needed to help the team.

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He woke feeling exceptionally groggy and his body aching. He opened his eyes and was met with the face of a woman he didn't recognize. He took a slow breath in and spoke in a weak, husky voice, "Emily..." He could smell her perfume in the air. She'd been here. He needed to see her. He needed to confirm that she was safe. That their future was safe. He swallowed and licked his lips as he made his request again, "Emily..." The doctor nodded and gave him a slight grin before finishing the test and heading to the door. He heard her speak softly then was rewarded with the sight of Emily coming to the side of his bed. Her lips upturned just a fraction at seeing his dark eyes and her hand sought his for a moment then she glanced at the rest of the team as his eyes slipped shut. He didn't care who else was in the room. He had Emily with him and that was comfort enough.

He sighed as she released his hand. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital." _Rossi._

"How did I get here?"

"Foyet drove you." _Morgan._

The voices were recognizable and he silently thanked Emily for not speaking yet. She was letting him figure out which members of the team were seeing him this weak. She was letting him get comfortable with that idea all on his own. Emily looked to JJ, seeing if the blonde had anything to add, but was greeted with a sad silence. Then, like manna from God, Emily's warm voice sounded in the overwhelmingly clinical silence and filled Aaron's ears, "Can you remember what happened?"

_Every goddamn detail. _He remembered it all. How painful each stab was, how hard he fought to stay alive, how as the pain increased he almost considered giving up; how worried he'd been for her safety. He ignored her question; there was no reason to share those visions. Not yet. Not now. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "What did he take? The Reaper always takes something from his victims; do we know what he took?"

"There was a page missing from your day planner in the address section; the B's."

His eyes opened as he looked at Emily, his worry suddenly back. She was safe but his first family. Haley and Jack... _No. God. No. _His breathing was labored for a minute then he spoke again, his voice suddenly stronger, "What did he leave?"

Emily's soft sigh of confusion was enough to incite him to continue his profiling of Foyet.

"He also leaves something with his victims."

Her heart shattered as she listened to him classifying himself as one of Foyet's victims. It was an accurate description. He was a victim of George Foyet, of the Reaper. He would forever have the Reaper's scars as a reminder of this, but it didn't make classifying the strong, powerful Aaron Hotchner as a victim any easier. He was the last person she'd ever want to see bearing that title. She glanced up, her eyes seeking JJ's as both women felt their concern spike.

"I looked over our whole apartment. Nothing felt out of place." She picked at her nail slightly and shrugged.

"Where are my clothes?"

She frowned slightly then looked and spotted the bag in the corner. She reached for the large clear plastic bag and began pulling things out, her hand shaking as she handed off his bloody and torn up shirt to Morgan. Aaron grabbed the yellow envelope with a badge inside and opened it slowly. A photo of Haley and Jack rested inside the leather case, with his blood smeared on it. His eyes darkened as he glared at the photo and she held her breath as her wide eyes looked between him and the black case shielding whatever was inside from her view.

He dropped his head back and let the case fall from his hand onto his blankets as he released a strangled breath and closed his eyes. He licked his lips and finally realized what Foyet's endgame was. Not to kill him or hurt Emily. He was going to hunt the thing he loved most in the world. He was going to go after Jack, and he wouldn't hesitate to kill Haley to get him. "Haley's maiden name was Brooks. I always listed her in the B's in my personal information in case it fell into the wrong hands. He knows where they live."

"We'll take care of it, Aaron." Rossi nodded and gestured for the team to go, but Aaron spoke quietly. "Emily..." She stopped and turned to look at him. He sighed. "Can you stay with me?"

She looked at the other three and nodded for them to go before taking her seat on the other side of him and resting her hand on his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere, Aaron. I'll stay." He was fixated on the photo. His eyes taking in the image of his son and ex-wife. She licked her lips as she watched him. She wasn't sure what he was thinking, what he was feeling. She just stroked her fingers along his shoulder, hoping she was providing some amount of comfort to him. An hour passed between them. Silence. Just appreciating that the other was safe, appreciating the other's presence. It was the one thing she could provide and he was taking as much as he could. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that it wasn't until his heart rate began to race that she stood up and saw the doctor come in.

"What happened?"

"I don't know." Emily's heart was racing right along with Aaron's and she nodded and left the room at the doctor's request. She stared in through the glass wall and watched as the doctor and nurse worked to calm him and watched as he panted and stared at the ceiling. It slowly hit her that he was remembering it. He was reliving every second and he was trying to fight it. He was trying to fight the memories. Her phone rang and she watched him be ripped from the memory at the high-pitched ring. She cursed softly and answered it. "Prentiss."

"_We've got them."_

Her body relaxed as she looked at him then took a step to his room and leaned in. "They're safe." Her lips upturned at knowing that the little boy she loved so much and his mother were both safe and now in the care of the team that she would trust with her own life. She watched as Aaron visibly calmed down and sighed in relief before licking his lips and setting their picture to the side. He gestured for her to come in and she walked in slowly, not wanting to upset him anymore. She stood at the edge of his bed and folded her arms over her chest.

"You were at my place, right?"

She gave a nod to the affirmative.

"Could you tell how he got in?"

It was the one thing that had stumped him this whole time. How had the bastard managed to get in? He had no idea what Foyet could've used to get in. No replica keys, there were none he left outside the apartment. Aaron hadn't let him in. The windows had all been shut. He was genuinely baffled.

"I'm not sure..." She had no idea. There was no sign of forced entry and the only logical thing she could think of was that he'd managed to pick the lock. She tilted her head and sighed. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Aaron sighed and looked away. He couldn't tell her. She didn't need to live with the horror of what had happened. It was bad enough he was going to have to live with it. He shook his head then looked up at her. "I don't know. After he stabbed me the first time, it all goes blank."

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"You're going to be a big boy and take care of Mommy, right?"

Jack nodded as Emily crouched in front of him and ran her hand over his hair. Her eyes watered as she looked into his innocent face. He meant the world to his father, and he'd quickly grown to mean very much the same thing to Emily. She licked her lips as she glanced over her shoulder, checking on Aaron, who was speaking with Haley. She looked back at Jack and rubbed her nose against his gently. "I love you very much, Jack. I love you very much and so does your daddy. I want you to know that, okay?" She nodded encouragingly and opened her arms for a hug.

His tiny arms wrapped around her neck and she rubbed his back while holding him tightly to her as she absorbed the feeling of holding him for the last time for an undetermined amount of time. She closed her eyes and breathed in his soft scent and let tears track twin paths down her cheeks for a moment before swiping at them quickly. He pulled back and she sighed a soft breath of laughter as he smiled at her.

"Love Em'ly."

She nodded, "Me too, buddy."

"Mommy!"

She watched as Jack moved over to Haley, who was now outside the room. Emily sighed and stood, her breath coming in shaking inhales as she watched from outside the room, her thumbnail trapped between her teeth as she gnawed at it before walking away. "I need to go." She wasn't sure who she was speaking to, she just said it and left. Her feet took her away, giving her space as she paced the long corridor looking out on the parking lot. She rolled her lips into her mouth and sighed. This was going to be hard for everyone, but she knew it was going to damn near kill Aaron.

The footfalls of several people grew louder and she looked up as the team approached, with Haley at the front of the group, Jack nestled safely in her arms. She stopped next to Emily, both women staring each other pointedly but warmly. "You'll take care of him?"

"Always." Emily nodded.

Haley reached forward, hugging the brunette awkwardly around the boy in her arms and the brunette's rounded belly. She stepped back, her eyes lined with wetness. "You take care of yourself, too. They need you to be healthy." She sniffled and wiped at her eyes with her fingers as a tear broke free. "I can't wait to meet them."

Emily nodded and laughed softly. "I'll need all the guidance I can get from you."

The U.S. Marshall tucked his hand on Haley's shoulder. "We've got to go."

Haley sighed and looked at the whole team one more time. "Say goodbye Jack." The boy waved sadly from his perch on his mother's hip and then they were gone. Emily watched as they headed out to their car and murmured softly, "We have to get this son of a bitch."

* * *

><p><strong>Was it everything you guys expected? Did you like it? We all know what's coming up for Hotch, Emily, and Haley, but I'm going to try and keep this from being too sad. <strong>**I hope you guys will stay with me and I hope to hear from all you through that adorable little box with the blue button just beneath this note. - xoxo, babygurl0506**


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